I am pathetic

I have been on this website for too long to have absolutely nothing to show for it. All I need to lose is 30lbs and I can't do it.. I get really into it and then something get in the way. Here are the different reasons why I get sidetracked:

"I can't afford to buy healthy food."
"I have a meal plan... its hard to keep track of the food they have."
"I never see any results."
"I don't have time to go to the gym."
etc. etc. etc.

The list can go on forever. I have no self esteem and I NEED to find a way to change things. I NEED to be more motivated. I am so ashamed of myself and I really don't know how to get past this terrible place I am in...

I'm 5'1 and since I started college I have avoided the scale... but I would assume I am up to 155-160 When I am really on track I eat 1200 calories a day and work out 3x per week. The results are almost non existent. When I was trying my hardest, I never was able to get below 145, and that was after being in the hospital for three days...

please help me
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Replies

  • Hey i am in the same boat. So i started over from scratch today. New account so nothing can hold me back. My willpower and motivation really need a huge kick too!

    I am talking to my doc next week, maybe you should to to see if they can come up with either a reason (medical) or help you on the path.
  • Adina81
    Adina81 Posts: 252 Member
    you have to help you.

    MOVE..
    WANT to make right choices (not wishful thinking)
    Food isn't an ENEMY.
    MOVE.
    Make sure your getting rest/vitamins
    Moderation NOT restrictions.
    MOVE.

    I am sure there is plenty of other thingsI could add...but those are my core standards.

    GOOD LUCK!
  • Adina81
    Adina81 Posts: 252 Member
    Oh.... stop obsessing about your calories.

    If your stomach is grumbling or your getting constant headaches.
    EAT. your body WANTS you to feed it.

    Make a healthy choice. Not a fast quick choice.
  • lachesissss
    lachesissss Posts: 1,298 Member
    you have to help you.

    MOVE..
    WANT to make right choices (not wishful thinking)
    Food isn't an ENEMY.
    MOVE.
    Make sure your getting rest/vitamins
    Moderation NOT restrictions.
    MOVE.

    I am sure there is plenty of other thingsI could add...but those are my core standards.

    GOOD LUCK!

    Pretty much this. Making the decision to stick to it is the hardest part.
  • LovingLisa2012
    LovingLisa2012 Posts: 775 Member
    well as other will suggest check your BMR and TDEE (people suggest not to eat under bmr, and eat 10 - 20% under tdee)

    and as for as
    I can't afford to buy healthy food." -- beans are cheap and healthy (maybe $2 for a 1 pound bag )
    "I have a meal plan... its hard to keep track of the food they have." --- eat what you enjoy that fits your goals and fill up on veggies/fruit
    "I never see any results." - take measurements (scales LIE)
    "I don't have time to go to the gym." -- you have a body right ? well use it .. squats, lunges, jogging in place .. all this can be done anywhere any time

    just some suggestions .. you can do this hun and drop the "I am pathetic" crap .. you being here and trying proves your not

    :flowerforyou:
  • jenilla1
    jenilla1 Posts: 11,118 Member
    I don't really have any good advice, other than to say that I don't think you're pathetic. I think you just haven't been ready yet to do what you need to do. Some people are never ready - some don't even bother to try in the first place. At least you are trying. It shows you have the desire. Now it's just a matter of whether or not that desire is strong enough to outweigh the things that are holding you back. Set your priorities. Don't punish yourself, don't be too restrictive, and don't rush things. When you are ready, you will make permanent changes to your life for the better. Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Why don't you try to eat more calories, it's much easier to stick to long term an you will still loose. I know I couldn't do 1200 the whole time till I get to goal. I'd end up bingeing or giving up for good. I eat between 1400-1950 and my only real exercise is walking 30 mins a day till recently.

    Fruit and veggies aren't expensive really, eggs are cheap, baked beans too etc... Don't buy too many packaged diet products, just buy food in it's natural state.

    Forget the gym if you can't afford it or can't find the time and go for a walk around your neighbourhood for 20 minutes instead.
  • This sounds exactly like me. I work at a bakery full time which makes it even harder : / My new plan is to just do something, anything, active on days that I don't feel like working out. Like a walk or bike ride through the park or downtown. Also I've been hearing a lot lately to tackle one goal at a time so as not to overwhelm yourself. It could be, drinking a healthy smoothie for breakfast every day, or doing something active, or just cutting your calories a little bit... baby steps. Not to do the whole diet and work out 5 days a week. Don't get discouraged! I've started and given up so many times! At least you still care about your health!
  • mochocki
    mochocki Posts: 5 Member
    First, you are not pathetic. You are totally normal!

    I have always been the same way. I lost 50 pounds for my wedding in 2010, and both myself and my husband put back on OVER 50 pounds since then :-( I used all of those excuses.

    But I've finally found something that works for me. I joined a fitness class where you have a group that goes to the class at the same time 6 days a week and they ask you to turn in your food log. I've been there for 5 weeks. To be honest, I don't see any changes in my body or how my clothes fit. Although I do know that I've lost about 10 pounds. I've been really discouraged about not SEEING the results, but I know that I'm getting stronger and building muscle. In the end, that will help me stay healthy and keep the weight off. The class lasts 10 weeks total. They keep telling all of us that if we are being faithful to the program, the results will come. Some people see them during the first 5 weeks, and others see them during the last 5 weeks. Unfortunately, I wasn't gifted with patience...probably like you.

    You really just have to keep looking for a routine that will work for you. I needed others to keep me accountable, and I found it. I hope you can find the same! Just know that you are not alone!
  • PetulantOne
    PetulantOne Posts: 2,131 Member
    well as other will suggest check your BMR and TDEE (people suggest not to eat under bmr, and eat 10 - 20% under tdee)

    and as for as
    I can't afford to buy healthy food." -- beans are cheap and healthy (maybe $2 for a 1 pound bag )
    "I have a meal plan... its hard to keep track of the food they have." --- eat what you enjoy that fits your goals and fill up on veggies/fruit
    "I never see any results." - take measurements (scales LIE)
    "I don't have time to go to the gym." -- you have a body right ? well use it .. squats, lunges, jogging in place .. all this can be done anywhere any time

    just some suggestions .. you can do this hun and drop the "I am pathetic" crap .. you being here and trying proves your not

    :flowerforyou:

    Well put! :drinker:
  • First you need to stop beating up on yourself.

    I wasn't able to lose weight for the longest time. So I set my mind to hire a trainer. Instead something better came along and I joined a program that offered exercise twice a week, classes with a dietitian once a week, a cooking session with a chef, a psychotherapy session and a trip to the supermarket to learn how to read labels. I lost 20 pounds!

    The program is over and I have not been able to lose more weight. I recently hired a trainer and I work out with him two times a week in a park and I am loving every minute of it.

    Did you say you are in college? Does it have a gym there? Can you attend some of the classes 3 times a week and or find a jogging buddy?
  • UncleMac
    UncleMac Posts: 13,833 Member
    Life is filled with choices and each choice has a consequence... some good, some bad...

    Weight loss isn't rocket science. The vast majority (ie: 80%) is what you eat. Seriously. Exercise helps but in order to lose weight, you must change your eating pattern... and do so in a manner that is sustainable otherwise you will end up gaining back every ounce.

    First order of business is to address the self-esteem issue. As long as you don't care about yourself, you are doomed to continue the pattern that brought you to where you are today.

    Have you considered getting the Tony Robbin's "Personal Power" tapes/cds? Tony gives good, solid advice and teaches techniques for you to improve your self esteem and make the difference in your life. I'm sure there are others who offer similar self-improvement products. I suggested Tony because I've listened to his tapes and it helped.

    Good luck and remember... the big things are always made of smaller things. When you start making small changes, eventually you'll see big effects!!
  • djmp92
    djmp92 Posts: 3 Member
    If you break and binge for a day, start again the next day.
    If you want to eat fast food, do it. Just stay under the calories (remember cardiovascular activity gives you back calories).
    I've literally been losing weight while eating fast food, processed food and healthy food (as well as the occasional binge :) ).
    Show some determination and persistence. You can do it. Stop doubting yourself.
  • I have told myself for 10 years that I need to quit smoking. Huff and puff but I never blew that house down. Well, I finally dug deep and decided that the only thing that was truly getting in the way of me defeating that hut was me. Same thing goes here. As soon as you realize that no matter what, YOU are the only thing getting in the way of what YOU want to accomplish.

    Make that determination, and let it stick. I am 35 some odd days smoke free and that is the longest streak of my life, and I plan to keep breaking that record every day for the rest of my life. Nowadays, I cannot even walk on the same side of the sidewalk as a smoker, because it smells terrible. Makes me realize: is this really what I was doing to other people when I smoked? Secondhand smoke is a very terrible smell. Never realized it as much as I do these days...
  • I say i'm pathetic because I know my excuses are not legitimate. I know I am just setting myself back and I just keep letting it happen.

    I forgot to mention that I don't have a kitchen, I live in a dorm. I also work two jobs and take 16 credit hours... so yeah if you know how insane that is... its RIDICULOUS.

    ALSO, I cut out diet soda recently and not only drink water/tea.
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    u need more motivation because I eat what everyone can AFFORD and bust my *kitten* working out and have disabilities up the wazoo....Type one diabetes, respiratory issues that include a throat tube, asthma, and trouble breathing and I am at the $20 gym 6 days a week and walk the seventh day. This is really all you dear....what's your excuse again?
  • DebbieLyn63
    DebbieLyn63 Posts: 2,654 Member
    They don't call it Freshman 15 for nothing. College dorm life is so different than HS. You walk less, spend less time going to classes, food is always available at the caf and in your dorm room, no parents to tell you not to eat from the bag of chips, and there is alcohol which can put on the pounds. Add to that the late nights and lack of sleep, and you have the perfect storm for weight gain and poor health.

    Get sleep. Regular sleep thru out the week.
    Cut out alcohol if you drink. It causes problems in so many areas at your age.
    Watch out for other liquid calories- sodas, juices, smoothies, red bulls, starbucks, etc.
    Cut back on obvious sugars and other junk foods. Chips and cookies spike your blood sugar and make you crave more.
    Eat lots of lean proteins, fresh veggies, and fresh fruit.
    Choose high fiber carbs.
    Snack on healthy foods, nuts, carrots, etc.
    Portion servings out. Don't eat from the bag.
    Drink lots of water.

    You need to stop the gaining before it gets too out of hand. But don't have drastic swings of starving and binging. It's not healthy for your body and will only make you more frustrated. A slower steady loss is better than yo yo dieting.

    Higher protein, fiber, and good healthy fats will help you feel fuller longer and keep you from craving and binging.
    Be patient and consistent.
    Don't give up. You can create healthier habits.
  • Katbody10
    Katbody10 Posts: 369 Member
    For each excuse you come up with .. make yourself 2 reasons to stick with it!

    Start with Baby Steps .. don't try to slam dunk it all at once. You may need to simply start off with the mere basics.. and that's logging every thing you eat and drink for a week or so. Don't be concerned with any goals YET.

    Take a good look at your diary after this initial week or 2 and see what can you change. Are you eating out a lot? do you sit and eat a bag of chips and dip in one sitting? Are you drinking a lot of sodas .. eating a lot of processed (pre-packaged) foods and meals?

    Make initial adjustments small .. walk for 15-20 minutes a few times a week .. don't start with 1200 calorie a day goal .. start with only eating a deficit of 100 calories .. cutting out refined sugars .. lowering some carbs or increasing your protein and fiber. (will keep you feeling full longer)

    As you begin to feel like you can stick with those little changes .. then you can up the ante .. lower your deficit by another 100 calories .. exercise longer and more often. Be patient with yourself!

    This is a lifestyle change .. and hopefully one that will be life long :-) forgive yourself on days you didn't meet your goals. Don't look at them as failures .. but as reasons to work harder the next day or week :flowerforyou:

    YOU CAN DO THIS!
  • JenKillough
    JenKillough Posts: 474 Member
    Tonight I posted on my wall: "I suck. No exercise today"

    One of my friends said here, do this: http://www.bodyrock.tv/2012/11/08/keep-climbing-to-your-goals/

    So I stopped whining for a bit and spent about 15 minutes doing a rather kick-*kitten* workout. I got to log some exercise for the day, not feel like a pathetic loser, upped my TDEE a bit, and will now go to bed feeling a sense of accomplishment...

    Switch off the negative self-talk for action. Even if only for 15 minutes. Begin to make a habit of this.

    1) Eat less, 2) Move more... every day. Negative talk only hurts you.

    ETA: I just saw you post that you try to eat 1200 cals... that's low. You probably need to increase you cals a little. Not sure of your height/weight but 1200 is very low. I'm 5'7" 120 lbs and eat 1600-2000 typically.
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
    Ultimately it comes down to how much you want it. Fortunately you don't have to commit to a lifetime slog. All you have to do is make one good decision. One good choice...eat this, not that. Walk. Decide to have that....tomorrow. and then decide again. One choice at a time. You can do this! It isn't easy, but it is possible..,and you can do this.
  • juliec33
    juliec33 Posts: 238 Member
    I don't really have any good advice, other than to say that I don't think you're pathetic. I think you just haven't been ready yet to do what you need to do. Some people are never ready - some don't even bother to try in the first place. At least you are trying. It shows you have the desire. Now it's just a matter of whether or not that desire is strong enough to outweigh the things that are holding you back. Set your priorities. Don't punish yourself, don't be too restrictive, and don't rush things. When you are ready, you will make permanent changes to your life for the better. Good luck! :flowerforyou:

    This!!!!!! Great advice. When you're ready you will be able to do it
  • btw...exercise is only worth as much as you put into it. The science behind weight loss is a constant for everyone:

    energy consumed = energy used You stay the same true weight
    energy consumed > energy used You will gain true weight
    energy consumed < energy used You will lose weight

    If you do not know what your energy burn rate is, you should be hittin the books if you want to lose weight. Laws of physics says the less mass an object has, the less energy is needed to move it. For an example: It takes Rosie O'donnel more calories to walk down the street than it does Kim Kardashian. So for every pound you lose, the more you must increase your workout level to attain the same calories burned in a given time period.

    My first goal is to get under 200 lbs, but my second goal is to be back over 200 lbs, but with less volume and a lesser body fat percentage.

    Go up another 2-3 levels on your workouts. It may hurt, but in a little bit it will hurt so good! Go get it!
  • girlonabikedc
    girlonabikedc Posts: 111 Member
    Have you ever heard the story of the howling dog?

    A man was walking by a house one day, and noticed a dog lying on the porch that was howling and moaning. The dog's owner was sitting on the porch, not minding the dog. The dog kept howling & wimpering.

    'What's wrong with your dog?", the passerby asked the man.

    "He's laying on a nail and it's hurting him".

    "Well, why doesn't he got up off the nail?"

    "Doesn't hurt enough yet, I guess."


    When it hurts enough, you'll find the motivation to change your circumstances.
  • I am also testing out a theory: Does beer before a workout increase your workout output? Watchin the abysmal Indy/Jags game, but afterwards I will be hittin the gym, with Heineken and Fritos being the only fuel.....results pending. If my results are that I burn more calories and lose weight, I will be going to the gym every time with a BAL of about .04-.06!
  • I found dieting/eating right in college to be extremely challenging. Everything offered as part of the meal plan was usually fried and super greasy, and the healthy stuff was usually tasteless. Even when I moved into an apartment with my own kitchen, there was hardly time to cook between classes, group projects and the fun stuff. So, don't beat yourself up, because being a student means a constantly changing schedule. Dieting is hard but when you don't have a set schedule it seems a million times harder. Here are some things that really helped ME maintain a healthy weight during school, however I'm not an expert of any kind:

    1. Drink lots of water. If you feel hungry and it's not a meal time, drink water before you eat something.
    2. If you eat at the dorm, hit the salad bar first. This will diminish that feeling of being extremely hungry and help you think rationally when you hit the legitimate food later. Also when it comes to salad, dressing always gets people. My roommate used to think that she was eating healthy by having a salad, except she dumped like 3 tablespoons of ranch on there, and shredded cheese, and whatever else. Just keep it as clean as possible.
    3. If you drink, avoid heavy beers or drinks mixed with regular soda or lemonade. I usually try some vodka cranberry mix, diet coke or if I have to, light beer.
    4. Keep a couple lean cuisines handy. They taste pretty good, are usually on sale, and low in fat and calories. The sodium levels are through the roof, but the occasional lean cuisine won't cause any lasting damage.

    As far as workouts go...Check out the situation at your school's rec center, there's a good chance they offer some type of fitness classes. My last few years at school my friends and I did zumba once a week and we loved it! My final semester I started taking a spin class, which was hard at first but ended up being an awesome workout. You can also look at classes offered at rec centers nearby. Most gyms will let you try the class out for free! Find a friend who will be a good gym pal. Maybe someone who already has a solid routine down who you can tag along with. It's always easier with another person there.

    Best of luck to you!
  • I have a meal plan too and cant afford healthy food either so i totally agree! Its hard but it takes some work! Start doing your research girl. Portion the food you eat at school. If its fried vs grilled obviously go with the grilled. Stay away from the soda and french fries. Its easier than you think. At first you seem overwhelmed with all the fattening food at college. But ive been to two colleges already and they are all the same thing. They do have options of salads..and grilled chicken over fried...its YOU that has to be the one to make the right choice. Start disciplining yourself. Once you get used to the discipline then you will be fine. i was addicted to sodaaa and i quit it.now when i see soda i dont even want it anymore. I drink it sometimes on weekends when i go out to a resturaunt. Its all about discipline and dedication. How bad do you want it really? If your calling yourself pathetic then obviously you want it bad. Follow the MFP guidelines. Workout. Pick the lesser of two evils when it comes to college food and you WILL see change! Trust me i started at 200 pounds last april and now i am at 175..5 pounds under my goal weight. Yes im very tall so this is a thin weight for me haha good luck!
  • tdbad1
    tdbad1 Posts: 87 Member
    As amazing as it sounds, i have found that eating healthy is actually cheaper.

    When filling up on convenience foods we are getting "empty" calories, and get hungry again faster. I found when i was eating mostly veggies, fruits, meat...and carbs in moderation my grocery bill was cheaper. I fyou can get yourself to change the thoughts running through your head, you will find the opposite is actually true.

    Often times we get so used to thinking one way we are resistance to change. It becomes easier to just stay the way it is, and our brain tries to keep it that way. Youve made some huge changes, by going for your education...that took courage to change, even if you don't know it. you can do this too.
    Maybe try writing down comments that are positive, to counteract the ones you posted...read them daily, sounds wishy washy i know, but it's been known to work at changing thought patterns.
  • don't stress it girl. it is SOOOO hard living on campus to eat healthy and find time to workout. i struggle with it too. Sometimes it helps to plan out your day and try to figure out how to fit everything in, and to never get stressed/upset about it. it definitely makes it worse for me to eat well if im stressed! Good luck =)
  • I'm glad to hear that i'm not the only one who finds it extremely difficult to do this in college...
    I RARELY if ever drink... so that isn't an issue. I also only drink water/tea.
  • SexyTmar
    SexyTmar Posts: 23 Member
    For each excuse you come up with .. make yourself 2 reasons to stick with it!

    Start with Baby Steps .. don't try to slam dunk it all at once. You may need to simply start off with the mere basics.. and that's logging every thing you eat and drink for a week or so. Don't be concerned with any goals YET.

    Take a good look at your diary after this initial week or 2 and see what can you change. Are you eating out a lot? do you sit and eat a bag of chips and dip in one sitting? Are you drinking a lot of sodas .. eating a lot of processed (pre-packaged) foods and meals?

    Make initial adjustments small .. walk for 15-20 minutes a few times a week .. don't start with 1200 calorie a day goal .. start with only eating a deficit of 100 calories .. cutting out refined sugars .. lowering some carbs or increasing your protein and fiber. (will keep you feeling full longer)

    As you begin to feel like you can stick with those little changes .. then you can up the ante .. lower your deficit by another 100 calories .. exercise longer and more often. Be patient with yourself!

    This is a lifestyle change .. and hopefully one that will be life long :-) forgive yourself on days you didn't meet your goals. Don't look at them as failures .. but as reasons to work harder the next day or week :flowerforyou:

    YOU CAN DO THIS!

    VERY well said!