"Doctors are _______ to Fat Patients"
Replies
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Okay... I realize I'm probably being naive right now, but I'm just wondering, how does a vegan get fat? If you're a true vegan? Do you eat like, 15 pounds of carrots a day? I really don't get it, I'm sorry...
oreos, bread, olive oil, nuts, avocadoes. these are just a few vegan foods which are calorically dense.
Oreos are vegan? And bread? :huh: Aren't there animal products in those?
It would be easier if there were! Many breads are vegan, but others have dairy or animal-based dough conditioners. A determined label reader can find vegan bread. Damn it, since that's me more often than it should be!0 -
Okay... I realize I'm probably being naive right now, but I'm just wondering, how does a vegan get fat? If you're a true vegan? Do you eat like, 15 pounds of carrots a day? I really don't get it, I'm sorry...
oreos, bread, olive oil, nuts, avocadoes. these are just a few vegan foods which are calorically dense.
Oreos are vegan? And bread? :huh: Aren't there animal products in those?
It would be easier if there were! Many breads are vegan, but others have dairy or animal-based dough conditioners. A determined label reader can find vegan bread. Damn it, since that's me more often than it should be!
I JUST discovered that lard is NOT vegan. *feels dumb* but Crisco is!!!
Also you can get vegan margarine. Vegan bread. Vegan cheese (yes, CHEESE! It's made from soy).0 -
It's not about when you ate, it's about how much you ate. A lot of people here like eating once a day, they aren't starving themselves, they are simply eating their calories at once. Also, eating sweets is irrelevant, it is not the sweets alone that make people fat but the amount of calories.0
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I agree with this poster...how do people downplay that obesity is one of the top killers in the nation? It is a real actual health risk. Just because you don't have complications from it now does not mean you won't down the line.Yes, damn those doctors for telling people to get healthy. :huh:
Telling you what you already know is silly...What they need to do is give you the tools to achieve this healthier goal! Clearly overweight patients are having trouble on their own. What factors are involved.
Skinny is not always healthy...keep that in mind! I have a few very skinny friends and they have the worst eating habits. I consider myself more healthy then them anyday!
I'm sorry but I think that YOU are confused about what healthy means. Even if you only eat once per day and you eat 3,000 calories, that's still a ton. And I apologize if this sounds offensive, but there is no way that you got to three hundred pounds by not eating unless you have some sort of metabolic disorder. It is simple biochemistry. Your thin friends may eat worse things than you, but I'm guessing that they have other factors helping them, like:
1. More movement
2. Smaller portions
3. No binging
4. Good genetics
Doctors are not nutritionists. They are going to tell you the things that you probably already know, like avoid soda, sweets, fast food, eat veggies, complex carbs, and protein. Move more. Doctors can tell you all this stuff, but they can't force you to do it.
Skinny does not equate healthy, but do not belittle the importance of healthy weight ranges, as they are researched and prescribed for a reason after much research.0 -
Yes, damn those doctors for telling people to get healthy. :huh:
Telling you what you already know is silly...What they need to do is give you the tools to achieve this healthier goal! Clearly overweight patients are having trouble on their own. What factors are involved.
Skinny is not always healthy...keep that in mind! I have a few very skinny friends and they have the worst eating habits. I consider myself more healthy then them anyday!
I'm sorry but I think that YOU are confused about what healthy means. Even if you only eat once per day and you eat 3,000 calories, that's still a ton. And I apologize if this sounds offensive, but there is no way that you got to three hundred pounds by not eating unless you have some sort of metabolic disorder. It is simple biochemistry. Your thin friends may eat worse things than you, but I'm guessing that they have other factors helping them, like:
1. More movement
2. Smaller portions
3. No binging
4. Good genetics
Doctors are not nutritionists. They are going to tell you the things that you probably already know, like avoid soda, sweets, fast food, eat veggies, complex carbs, and protein. Move more. Doctors can tell you all this stuff, but they can't force you to do it.
Skinny does not equate healthy, but do not belittle the importance of healthy weight ranges, as they are researched and prescribed for a reason after much research.
No confusion here on what is considered healthy at all! You are assuming I do not move, I eat big portions, I binge and have bad genes...interesting. If someone is in a 'healthy' weight range...why are you assuming they are healthy? A number on a scale is just that..a number on a scale..it does not show you are eating right and active. I would hope you were eating healthy and living an active lifestyle. I eat much better now with the help of MFP then I ever did even when I was in a healthy range. My weight is falling off everyday! Eating is helping me lose weight. I love MFP!0 -
Yes, damn those doctors for telling people to get healthy. :huh:
Telling you what you already know is silly...What they need to do is give you the tools to achieve this healthier goal! Clearly overweight patients are having trouble on their own. What factors are involved.
Skinny is not always healthy...keep that in mind! I have a few very skinny friends and they have the worst eating habits. I consider myself more healthy then them anyday!
I'm sorry but I think that YOU are confused about what healthy means. Even if you only eat once per day and you eat 3,000 calories, that's still a ton. And I apologize if this sounds offensive, but there is no way that you got to three hundred pounds by not eating unless you have some sort of metabolic disorder. It is simple biochemistry. Your thin friends may eat worse things than you, but I'm guessing that they have other factors helping them, like:
1. More movement
2. Smaller portions
3. No binging
4. Good genetics
Doctors are not nutritionists. They are going to tell you the things that you probably already know, like avoid soda, sweets, fast food, eat veggies, complex carbs, and protein. Move more. Doctors can tell you all this stuff, but they can't force you to do it.
Skinny does not equate healthy, but do not belittle the importance of healthy weight ranges, as they are researched and prescribed for a reason after much research.
This.
To the OP of this post (not the reply I quoted), the saddest part of this is the only person you're hurting by lying to yourself about how you got where you are is you. I'd recommend taking a step back to figure out how you really got here and what behaviors you need to change to reverse it permanently. From someone else who used to be in denial about how I got to obesity to another, confronting what really happened and learning from it is the greatest gift you can give to yourself.0 -
Some doctors are ignorant to fat patients.
It is all about the approach.
Educate yourself...discover why someone is overweight and go from there...NEVER ASSUME YOU KNOW!
I am fat..why? I overeat? I dont' excercise?....Neither of these things. I am fat because I do NOT eat. I used to eat once a day maybe even once every two days. I do not eat sweet.
So think about your approach.....I said to my Dr. once....Do you think I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and went..holy crap! Im fat!
What you might consider healthy is not what I would consider healthy! Remember that!
You got fat by not eating? Do you just mean not eating by mouth or some nuance you are leaving out? Because a lack of calories can not cause fat gain.
If you starve yourself what do you think will happen to every calorie you put in your mouth..it hoards it..you do this for years what do you think will happen. There are several factors for people to be overweight. A doctor should discuss solutions and aids to help with these factors for a patient to be successful. I am overweight, I have no medical issues thankfully and I consider myself healthy.
Ummm........starving people in 3rd world countries are not fat AT ALL...and they rarely eat at all. Your logic is illogical. 99.9% of the time fat people are fat because they eat too much and don't move around enough.0 -
When I went for my 6 week check up after I had my son my OB was so rude.. He told me I needed to lose weight (no kidding.. i just had a BABY) like he had no idea I had a lot of trouble delivering my son. It's not like I was doing jumping jacks and crunches the night after I had him. I think sometimes doctors need to find a nicer way to tell people to slim down. My entire pregnancy he was screaming at me to GAIN weight and 6 weeks after he's screaming at me to lose weight. ( i know i have a lot to lose and that's why I'm here.. but really? You just delivered my son and you're screaming at me to lose when I couldn't even *move* for like 3 weeks postpartum)
bottom line. evaluate the patient. find the root of the problem. discreetly tell them that they might need to drop x number of pounds and suggest something like MFP to help.0 -
Some doctors are ignorant to fat patients.
It is all about the approach.
Educate yourself...discover why someone is overweight and go from there...NEVER ASSUME YOU KNOW!
I am fat..why? I overeat? I dont' excercise?....Neither of these things. I am fat because I do NOT eat. I used to eat once a day maybe even once every two days. I do not eat sweet.
So think about your approach.....I said to my Dr. once....Do you think I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and went..holy crap! Im fat!
What you might consider healthy is not what I would consider healthy! Remember that!
You got fat by not eating? Do you just mean not eating by mouth or some nuance you are leaving out? Because a lack of calories can not cause fat gain.
If you starve yourself what do you think will happen to every calorie you put in your mouth..it hoards it..you do this for years what do you think will happen. There are several factors for people to be overweight. A doctor should discuss solutions and aids to help with these factors for a patient to be successful. I am overweight, I have no medical issues thankfully and I consider myself healthy.
With all due respect, while there is much research on the whole "starvation mode," as someone who gained 30 lbs after recovering from anorexia... you don't just KEEP gaining weight once you start to eat unless you are eating too few calories or not burning enough calories to sustain what you're eating. Especially not a 100+ weight gain.
If you truly, truly ate 1200~ calories or less for a long time, and then began eating less than 2000... how could you have gained 100+ lbs without another contributing factor? You say you have no health problems, but are you sure? WERE you eating 3500+ calories when you started eating again? Did you start eating a large amount of calories but not exercise?
Your hormones WOULD eventually reset.
Obviously there's multiple factors for gaining weight. I gained 30 lbs from a roughened up metabolism when I was younger. I'm currently on here because I gained weight, even while not eating much at all and staying active, from prolonged high cortisol because my body was dealing with thyroidtoxicosis. That was also only a 20-30 lb gain. Keep in mind, the former 30 lbs put me at like... 120? I'm 5'6". This last deal put me at tipping the BMI scale.
I'm finding it incredibly difficult to believe you gained such an immense amount of weight WITHOUT other contributing health factors or an immense amount of calories/sedentary lifestyle.0 -
When I went for my 6 week check up after I had my son my OB was so rude.. He told me I needed to lose weight (no kidding.. i just had a BABY) like he had no idea I had a lot of trouble delivering my son. It's not like I was doing jumping jacks and crunches the night after I had him. I think sometimes doctors need to find a nicer way to tell people to slim down. My entire pregnancy he was screaming at me to GAIN weight and 6 weeks after he's screaming at me to lose weight. ( i know i have a lot to lose and that's why I'm here.. but really? You just delivered my son and you're screaming at me to lose when I couldn't even *move* for like 3 weeks postpartum)
bottom line. evaluate the patient. find the root of the problem. discreetly tell them that they might need to drop x number of pounds and suggest something like MFP to help.
Do some doctors need better "bedside manners" regarding weight? Absolutely.
But, put yourself in their shoes. Spend all day giving people advice that they refuse to take. Offer them long term solutions just to be shot down in favor of the band aid or quick fix. Do that every day for years. See how your patience and attitude might not be the best? I'm not saying it's right, but for every pregnant woman who works to return to a healthy weight, there are 15 others who say "I'm a busy mom and I just have to eat like crap and not exercise and don't you know how hard this is on me???" while they are continuing to gain. I know - I did it. It took me 4 years to realize how stupid that approach was. What if I had listened to the doctor who took out my c-section stitches and started trying to lose after I was cleared for exercise? I would have saved myself a lot of headache.
Note - I posted earlier that my doctor never commented on my weight. That's true - my primary care doctor always told me I looked great, even when I was tipping the scales at 230lbs. The only doctor who ever said anything was the doctor who performed my emergency c-section. He told me to lose weight or I'd end up diabetic and sick. He was right - I just didn't want to listen. I imagine that would get extremely frustrating for him.0 -
Sigh...absolutley hopeless. I know how I became overweight. I stated that very clearly. Doctors need to be more aware of their patients factors for weight gain. Not what they assume are their factors. Never felt so personally attacked for personal situation ever in my life. I know how I got to be overweight and I know what I need to do to lose it and I am doing it. If I decided not to share certain parts of my health history then boo boo me!0
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Sigh...absolutley hopeless. I know how I became overweight. I stated that very clearly. Doctors need to be more aware of their patients factors for weight gain. Not what they assume are their factors. Never felt so personally attacked for personal situation ever in my life. I know how I got to be overweight and I know what I need to do to lose it and I am doing it. If I decided not to share certain parts of my health history then boo boo me!
I don't think people are attacking you, they're just curious. That's all.
I mean, we've all heard how eating low calories can cause weight stall, but to be honest, your case is new to me.0 -
Some doctors are ignorant to fat patients.
It is all about the approach.
Educate yourself...discover why someone is overweight and go from there...NEVER ASSUME YOU KNOW!
I am fat..why? I overeat? I dont' excercise?....Neither of these things. I am fat because I do NOT eat. I used to eat once a day maybe even once every two days. I do not eat sweet.
So think about your approach.....I said to my Dr. once....Do you think I woke up this morning, looked in the mirror and went..holy crap! Im fat!
What you might consider healthy is not what I would consider healthy! Remember that!
You got fat by not eating? Do you just mean not eating by mouth or some nuance you are leaving out? Because a lack of calories can not cause fat gain.
If you starve yourself what do you think will happen to every calorie you put in your mouth..it hoards it..you do this for years what do you think will happen. There are several factors for people to be overweight. A doctor should discuss solutions and aids to help with these factors for a patient to be successful. I am overweight, I have no medical issues thankfully and I consider myself healthy.
Unfortunately that just is not how the body works...0 -
Sigh...absolutley hopeless. I know how I became overweight. I stated that very clearly. Doctors need to be more aware of their patients factors for weight gain. Not what they assume are their factors. Never felt so personally attacked for personal situation ever in my life. I know how I got to be overweight and I know what I need to do to lose it and I am doing it. If I decided not to share certain parts of my health history then boo boo me!
No one's boo booing you... we are literally trying to figure it out, because your story is going against... science? Like, even anecdotal cases in science. Even the famously used "Eat more to weigh less" story with the girl who was 50 lbs overweight and ate 800 calories a day... because she would eat 3000 calories on the weekends.
When you say, "I know why..."... did you literally diagnose yourself here?0 -
Sigh...absolutley hopeless. I know how I became overweight. I stated that very clearly. Doctors need to be more aware of their patients factors for weight gain. Not what they assume are their factors. Never felt so personally attacked for personal situation ever in my life. I know how I got to be overweight and I know what I need to do to lose it and I am doing it. If I decided not to share certain parts of my health history then boo boo me!
No one is attacking you.
We simply pointed out that your comments didn't make sense. If you only post a half-story claiming it to be true, how are we supposed to know it's only a half-story?0 -
Sigh...absolutley hopeless. I know how I became overweight. I stated that very clearly. Doctors need to be more aware of their patients factors for weight gain. Not what they assume are their factors. Never felt so personally attacked for personal situation ever in my life. I know how I got to be overweight and I know what I need to do to lose it and I am doing it. If I decided not to share certain parts of my health history then boo boo me!
This is not a personal attack by any means. But you are new to this and have a long way to go. A lot of the people that have responded to you have been at this for awhile, and have learned a lot of things along the way. It is really in your best interest to consider some of the things that they say and the possibility that you might be looking at this the wrong way.0 -
I've been overweight for a long time and I've never been told to watch what I eat or anything like that. I'm perfectly healthy in every aspect except my thyroid and carpal tunnel, and I'm proud of that fact. Just because I'm fat, it doesn't mean I make poor food choices. I have in the past, but for the past almost 6 months, I've been a different person and the thyroid problem is what's preventing my weight loss. But, if I was overweight because I was eating junk 24/7, I'd WANT and expect my doctor to tell me to knock it off!0
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No confusion here on what is considered healthy at all! You are assuming I do not move, I eat big portions, I binge and have bad genes...interesting. If someone is in a 'healthy' weight range...why are you assuming they are healthy? A number on a scale is just that..a number on a scale..it does not show you are eating right and active. I would hope you were eating healthy and living an active lifestyle. I eat much better now with the help of MFP then I ever did even when I was in a healthy range. My weight is falling off everyday! Eating is helping me lose weight. I love MFP!
I'm sorry, but you are clearly projecting, because I did not speculate upon why you are obese. I think however that it is logical to assume that if your friends eat unhealthy things more often than you do, but have a healthy weight, that barring any metabolic disorder on your part, it is probably because of a combination of those four possibilities.
1. People who move more, whether it be intentional exercise or not, are going to be able to consume more calories without gaining weight.
2. Lots of people can eat crap, but they have 1 or so servings and stop. I don't think that many obese people can claim the same.
3. People who seem "effortlessly thin" have usually grown up with a mentality of food being solely a way to fuel the body, and so binging is not natural.
4. It is unfair, but some people have naturally faster metabolisms that others. I also come from a family that seems to easily put on weight, so I know how frustrating this is.
I suppose what I am trying to get across is that although you are correct in saying that being at a healthy weight is not a prerequisite for being healthy, there is a higher correlation between a healthy weight and other aspects of health. "Healthy weight Standards" are not created by people who have been consumed by the thin-obsessed culture of hollywood and advertising. These are researchers who have looked at muscle to fat percentages, and weight correlation with high blood pressure, cholesterol, joint stress, and other problems. You may not have this symptoms at a young age, but in 20 years, those are going to become issues. But of course, that's why you're on MFP, and it looks like you're doing well, so more power to you!0 -
When I went for my 6 week check up after I had my son my OB was so rude.. He told me I needed to lose weight (no kidding.. i just had a BABY) like he had no idea I had a lot of trouble delivering my son. It's not like I was doing jumping jacks and crunches the night after I had him. I think sometimes doctors need to find a nicer way to tell people to slim down. My entire pregnancy he was screaming at me to GAIN weight and 6 weeks after he's screaming at me to lose weight. ( i know i have a lot to lose and that's why I'm here.. but really? You just delivered my son and you're screaming at me to lose when I couldn't even *move* for like 3 weeks postpartum)
bottom line. evaluate the patient. find the root of the problem. discreetly tell them that they might need to drop x number of pounds and suggest something like MFP to help.
Do some doctors need better "bedside manners" regarding weight? Absolutely.
But, put yourself in their shoes. Spend all day giving people advice that they refuse to take. Offer them long term solutions just to be shot down in favor of the band aid or quick fix. Do that every day for years. See how your patience and attitude might not be the best? I'm not saying it's right, but for every pregnant woman who works to return to a healthy weight, there are 15 others who say "I'm a busy mom and I just have to eat like crap and not exercise and don't you know how hard this is on me???" while they are continuing to gain. I know - I did it. It took me 4 years to realize how stupid that approach was. What if I had listened to the doctor who took out my c-section stitches and started trying to lose after I was cleared for exercise? I would have saved myself a lot of headache.
Note - I posted earlier that my doctor never commented on my weight. That's true - my primary care doctor always told me I looked great, even when I was tipping the scales at 230lbs. The only doctor who ever said anything was the doctor who performed my emergency c-section. He told me to lose weight or I'd end up diabetic and sick. He was right - I just didn't want to listen. I imagine that would get extremely frustrating for him.
^ completely agree with you! I wish I would have started MFP right after my son was born. But I was in the middle of moving, ending a bad relationship with his father, and starting college (really.. i'm not just making excuses. made the dean's list that semester!!) I exclusively breast fed my son for a year (he's 18mos now) in hopes that it would help me burn off those extra calories and get back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Didn't work. So then after my first semester I decided that it was time for a change and I started working out. Lost 20lbs with MFP. Got over confident that I was doing so good and put it all back on. This is the second round of MFP and I'm not falling off the wagon again. It's time to get serious and lose all 80lbs that I decided it's time to lose. My doctor wants me to weigh 100lbs at my height but I'd be happy with 135-140. ^_^0 -
. Most of them seem to believe being fat is the root of every health problem I've had.
At over 300 pounds, it's very possible that being fat was the root of at least *nearly* every health problem you've had.0 -
Yes, damn those doctors for telling people to get healthy. :huh:
Really? Losing weight /= healthy.
Since I was 10, the first thing every doctor ever said to me is: You need to lose some weight. Never mattered what I came in to see them about. They never gave me and info or help on how to do this. Most of them seem to believe being fat is the root of every health problem I've had.
It could be the root of every health problem you have ever had. I am not trying to be mean, just honest.
every health problem ever? lmao0 -
I don't really know what to add to this thread. As a fat doctor I feel I can connect with my obese patients better. Most of my fellow doc's either say nothing or give no real advice to their obese patients. Some give bad advice. I understand the struggle. If a patient shows a real interest, I will help them in any way I can. Some don't always like what I tell them. Most want a quick fix. There is none. Since I been on this site I have had some of my patients join and they have done well. My two cents.0
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I am so happy everyone knows how MY body works! I have never been so informed about MY personal situation with my weight gain.
Some very nice supportive voices..Thank You those people...and we go back to approach for the others.
Never assume you know the entire story:)0 -
.:brokenheart:0
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I don't really know what to add to this thread. As a fat doctor I feel I can connect with my obese patients better. Most of my fellow doc's either say nothing or give no real advice to there obese patients. Some give bad advice. I understand the struggle. If a patient shows a real interest I will help them in any way I can. Some don't always like what I tell them. Most want a quick fix. There is none. Since I been on this site I have had some of my patients join and they have done well. My two cents.
This is awesome...this makes me smile:)0 -
I love the people advocating that being overweight isn't unhealthy, seeing as they are on a weight loss website.0
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My eye doctor, after seeing the start of corneal arcus (google it) and the signs of pre diabetes after my last eye exam (yes, you can tell that from your eye), told me he was concerned and to see my G.P. to see if everything was fine. He didn't embarrass me; he was very professional. He said "I see these two things and these things can lead to diabetes and heart problems, etc" ending with "which can stem from being over weight."
He looked me in the eye while speaking to me and spoke kindly. I *was* embarrassed, but not because it was brought up to me. I was embarrassed because it needed to be and I could have prevented it by choosing a healthier lifestyle. It was one of the defining factors to me coming here and fixing myself.
Edit: I think that a little more explanation of why the doctor is concerned is needed; are there things that are showing up during the exam that are causing concern? The ones that are going "loose some weight, you fatty fasarse" are doing it wrong.0 -
I read this thing in one of Jillian Michaels books once. She said she went on some TV show, a sort of panel debate thing. One side was health and fitness experts, the other were "weight rights" people. She was on the fitness side, and her fellow fitness side panellists were very antagonistic to the "weight rights" people. One of them had a close relative that had died of an obesity related disease and the other one had some other emotional issue of their own with obesity. Bottom line was, they started lecturing and ordering round the weight rights people, not listening to them and not treating them with basic human respect and dignity, basically being really angry and acting on their own emotional reposnes and fears rather than connecting with the other people and responding to them.
She realised that the "weight rights" people were really not just saying "respect us however we are" but also "look, it is hard being 300lbs, hard enough as it is without being treated like we are sub-human when you know nothing about me and what my life is, without having your anger and fear taken out on me like I am some kind of punch bag". And she realised that any kind of automatic response like that is prejudice and that that always leads somewhere wrong.
So she just spoke to the weights rights people like normal people, because they were normal people. She stayed in touch after the programme with one of them and she helped her lose weight, when the other person realised that was what she wanted and asked for help. So a bit of understanding, respect and empathy, as well as just plain old kindness and niceness was what got a result in the end.
And I think a LOT of doctors could do with learning that, and a lot of other people too. A human connection and a bit of respect is going to lead somewhere better or quicker than fighting about what weight is right or wrong.
This popped into my head when I read this.... when I was (hate saying it) obese and people learned I was a vegetarian I had one person tell me (but it really hurt at the time) "If this is what being a vegetarian looks like I'm going to keep eating meat." Now that I look like myself again and I'm dropping weight people say "Maybe I should be a vegetarian." Fat people know they are fat.... they know it is unhealthy like smokers.... like you said if you just treat them like humans then they will be more likely to change if you give them support instead of "You're fat lose weight. Come on it's not that hard calories in calories out." for me I had to do way more than that and when I found a doctor to help me that is when my life changed0 -
I love the people advocating that being overweight isn't unhealthy, seeing as they are on a weight loss website.
WOW! I am healthy! What gives you the right to say how I feel and know! And I never said others weight gain was healthy, I do not know their situation. I was stating from my personal weight gain situation.0 -
So I gained all my weight from medication (which I've been struggling to get off about 6 months after I gained it when it finally clicked that I wasn't skinny anymore) and whenever I went in to see my doctor and she was out...one of her colleagues was my doctor for that day. Every time I came in, whether it was for strep or possible flu or whatever else, he would walk in the room saying, "What is wrong with today's children? They don't seem to understand what exercise is and how not to eat too much." or he would talk about how kids just need to get up and do something.
Yeah, a**jack. I know you're talking about me. Shut it and tell me if I'm actually as sick as I feel.
Not all doctors are like this, but they usually generalize -- especially in today's world where most of the population did do it to themselves. But they shouldn't bring it up unless it is a true risk or getting ready to be a risk, or it's actually their patient..
In my case, he shouldn't have said anything to me. He wasn't my doctor and didn't know my situation, and also didn't know that I had only been 35 lbs heavier for just a year and it wasn't even my fault and that I was working on it.
I still dislike him and how he treated me.0
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