I went into the big boys gym survived! (question for lads)

24

Replies

  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    First let me say, I realise both men and women work out in the weights only heavy weights part of my gym... it's just tonight, my first time in there with a trainer, it was all lads. I would say there were 20 there and probably I was the oldest person there by at least 10 years (I'm 43)...

    I was in with my trainer who is a cute female in her late 20s I'd guess.

    I felt really really uncomfortable training there as they don't really chat and we were talking (because she was training me and it was my first time) and self-conscious. Not that I'm flattering myself into thinking they were looking at me, as I'm sure they have their own ****e to think about and working out is something you need to be focussed for...

    but... what do lads think of unfit women in the big weights gym?

    I'm hoping that I can go back there again to train and not feel so incredibly out of place, unfit and frankly frightened. It's not like they were going to gang up on me and make me do the plank but I was still so nervous...

    any tips from girls who've done it and any lads who have a comment, please, enlighten me and say things that will make me want to try again!

    PS I actually got a great workout in terms of form and effort because I felt like I was on the telly!!

    I don't care WHAT the big boys think!! I still have 30# to lose before I cross the line from obese to overweight...then another 20 or so to be *healthy*

    I have wanted to go in the big boys room for a while. One day I was doing the machines and I saw a lady over there leg pressing. I made a comment to her about wanting to do that *someday* and she showed me how!! The bar alone was 118lbs, and I actually found it to be EASY. The next time I leg pressed, I asked the trainer ( early 20s guy, super cute) to help me load the machine. he put 90# on there ( for a total of 208) and I did it fine!!

    I keep hearing that squats are awesome, and the trainer is a big advocate of using weights vs machines...so a few weeks ago I decided to try squatting again ( I tried it like 6 months ago and was SUPER sore, so I quit) and asked the trainer to watch me to make sure my form was good. I can squat a measly 65# right now, but am hoping to be close to 100# by Christmas.
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    I always say to fake it until you feel it.

    Walk in there as well if you belong and with time it will come naturally.

    I love lifting and really feel at home in the free weight part of the gym.
  • Half of them are trying to figure out the best way of saying hi. They're most likely to hurt themselves trying to impress you. They're all sucking in their gut. :flowerforyou:

    Oh yeah, they're going to stop talking about musicals and macrame in your presence and switch the conversation to quads, reps, and cars. anything to butch it up. :tongue:

    seriously, you belong there as much as they do. Go find yourself a nice Channing Tatum look-a-like dude to spot you.

    I love it! :)
    Actually, the reason I felt so self conscious was that my personal trainer was with me, being all sweet and cute and encouraging...like dealing with someone standing on a ledge :)
  • First let me say, I realise both men and women work out in the weights only heavy weights part of my gym... it's just tonight, my first time in there with a trainer, it was all lads. I would say there were 20 there and probably I was the oldest person there by at least 10 years (I'm 43)...

    I was in with my trainer who is a cute female in her late 20s I'd guess.

    I felt really really uncomfortable training there as they don't really chat and we were talking (because she was training me and it was my first time) and self-conscious. Not that I'm flattering myself into thinking they were looking at me, as I'm sure they have their own ****e to think about and working out is something you need to be focussed for...

    but... what do lads think of unfit women in the big weights gym?

    I'm hoping that I can go back there again to train and not feel so incredibly out of place, unfit and frankly frightened. It's not like they were going to gang up on me and make me do the plank but I was still so nervous...

    any tips from girls who've done it and any lads who have a comment, please, enlighten me and say things that will make me want to try again!

    PS I actually got a great workout in terms of form and effort because I felt like I was on the telly!!

    I don't care WHAT the big boys think!! I still have 30# to lose before I cross the line from obese to overweight...then another 20 or so to be *healthy*

    I have wanted to go in the big boys room for a while. One day I was doing the machines and I saw a lady over there leg pressing. I made a comment to her about wanting to do that *someday* and she showed me how!! The bar alone was 118lbs, and I actually found it to be EASY. The next time I leg pressed, I asked the trainer ( early 20s guy, super cute) to help me load the machine. he put 90# on there ( for a total of 208) and I did it fine!!

    I keep hearing that squats are awesome, and the trainer is a big advocate of using weights vs machines...so a few weeks ago I decided to try squatting again ( I tried it like 6 months ago and was SUPER sore, so I quit) and asked the trainer to watch me to make sure my form was good. I can squat a measly 65# right now, but am hoping to be close to 100# by Christmas.

    That's some accomplisment! Well done!! I will go in there do my bit and go...I'd imagine one day if I'm all lean and strong and tight some of them might call me a MILF. It happens sometimes already when I'm clothed. I'll know I'm fit when it happens in work out clothes too haha
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    It's great. Makes the place more balanced. But if you and one of the "lads" start chatting while I'm waiting for a bench to be released I'll toot in your general direction, too.

    In my humble experience the women that I know that lift are more serious on the floor than the guys.

    (sorry, pissed off today at the barbell grunting monkeys in my gym.)

    There is no reason you should ever not feel comfortable and welcome. Do your thing! Enjoy the place, bust it out!
  • Kryxx
    Kryxx Posts: 34
    My honest (and possibly) shallow opinion; I just think "good on you, your going to be a fine piece of eye candy in a few months!"
  • kealambert
    kealambert Posts: 961 Member
    You are fine in my opinion. We are all there for a reason, and you have every right to be anywhere in the gym that your membership covers. I think its cool for girls / women to lift the weights and not just stick to the cardio equipment.

    this. more power to you if you're expanding your comfort zone
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
    I don't pay much attention to anybody else in the gym. I go there to do what needs to be done and get out. This morning I talked to one of the other guys only because he asked me if he could work in a set in the squat rack. I'll sometimes watch the trainers with newbies, only because I might glean ways to improve my form, but I only do so in as inconspicuous a way as possible.

    Sure, guys will notice if women are present all of a sudden. But for the majority, it would only be a minor interruption before going back to doing whatever they were doing.

    Short Version: They were almost certainly more concerned with what they needed to do than what you were doing. Just do what you need to do.
  • Shadowsan
    Shadowsan Posts: 365 Member
    First let me say, I realise both men and women work out in the weights only heavy weights part of my gym... it's just tonight, my first time in there with a trainer, it was all lads. I would say there were 20 there and probably I was the oldest person there by at least 10 years (I'm 43)...

    I was in with my trainer who is a cute female in her late 20s I'd guess.

    I felt really really uncomfortable training there as they don't really chat and we were talking (because she was training me and it was my first time) and self-conscious. Not that I'm flattering myself into thinking they were looking at me, as I'm sure they have their own ****e to think about and working out is something you need to be focussed for...

    but... what do lads think of unfit women in the big weights gym?

    I'm hoping that I can go back there again to train and not feel so incredibly out of place, unfit and frankly frightened. It's not like they were going to gang up on me and make me do the plank but I was still so nervous...

    any tips from girls who've done it and any lads who have a comment, please, enlighten me and say things that will make me want to try again!

    PS I actually got a great workout in terms of form and effort because I felt like I was on the telly!!

    If I see anyone in the free weights area, provided they're using correct technique then big amounts of respect goes out to them.

    Form over weight, all the time.

    So so SO many people seem to believe lifting big in the free weights area is the only way to go, but in reality more than 75% of the people doing it in there lifting big weights are doing it _all_ wrong.

    As long as you're keeping your form good, then keep it up! You'll find plenty of people watching you - mainly because they'll be impressed!
  • DPernet
    DPernet Posts: 481 Member
    Most (99%) of the guys there will just be checking out your bum when they reckon you're not looking.

    The other 1% will be gay :bigsmile:
  • dare2love81
    dare2love81 Posts: 928 Member
    I feel like a badass when I'm the only girl in the free weight section honestly.

    Just do your thing, ignore 'em.

    If they bug you with awful comments, say something like "I'm getting strong so I can punch out jerks like you"

    =D

    Keep liftin'

    ^^THIS. But it took me a few months to get to that point. And now I look back and wonder why I was so intimidated. :) Most guys (at least at my gym) respect the women who walk into the "guys" section because they realize you're there to work. and it's really a great feeling when you get to the point where you're lifting as much (if not more) than the guys in there. :bigsmile:
  • SirZee
    SirZee Posts: 381
    No reason to worry. Most of us who lift regularly know its not about how you look or how much you lift. True lifters will notice you when you have superb technique, thats about it. (Well if you got really nice curves, we mgiht sneak a peak during rest periods--eye candy is good for bloodflow--but we know that is too close to the 'creepy' line, and try not to do it much/get noticed doing it.)

    You'd be surprised how boxed in we are when training hard (especially with headphones on), sometimes I work out and I know there are people there, but its just blobs, I can't even tell you afterwards whether they were men or women.. just mostly moving shadows in the background that sometimes occupy/linger on the stationI want to work out next.
  • kenazfehu
    kenazfehu Posts: 1,188 Member
    I really am in my own little world at the gym. It has taken me a few sentences to realize that somebody else is talking to me. (embarrassing!)
  • sarahrbraun
    sarahrbraun Posts: 2,261 Member
    First let me say, I realise both men and women work out in the weights only heavy weights part of my gym... it's just tonight, my first time in there with a trainer, it was all lads. I would say there were 20 there and probably I was the oldest person there by at least 10 years (I'm 43)...

    I was in with my trainer who is a cute female in her late 20s I'd guess.

    I felt really really uncomfortable training there as they don't really chat and we were talking (because she was training me and it was my first time) and self-conscious. Not that I'm flattering myself into thinking they were looking at me, as I'm sure they have their own ****e to think about and working out is something you need to be focussed for...

    but... what do lads think of unfit women in the big weights gym?

    I'm hoping that I can go back there again to train and not feel so incredibly out of place, unfit and frankly frightened. It's not like they were going to gang up on me and make me do the plank but I was still so nervous...

    any tips from girls who've done it and any lads who have a comment, please, enlighten me and say things that will make me want to try again!

    PS I actually got a great workout in terms of form and effort because I felt like I was on the telly!!

    I don't care WHAT the big boys think!! I still have 30# to lose before I cross the line from obese to overweight...then another 20 or so to be *healthy*

    I have wanted to go in the big boys room for a while. One day I was doing the machines and I saw a lady over there leg pressing. I made a comment to her about wanting to do that *someday* and she showed me how!! The bar alone was 118lbs, and I actually found it to be EASY. The next time I leg pressed, I asked the trainer ( early 20s guy, super cute) to help me load the machine. he put 90# on there ( for a total of 208) and I did it fine!!

    I keep hearing that squats are awesome, and the trainer is a big advocate of using weights vs machines...so a few weeks ago I decided to try squatting again ( I tried it like 6 months ago and was SUPER sore, so I quit) and asked the trainer to watch me to make sure my form was good. I can squat a measly 65# right now, but am hoping to be close to 100# by Christmas.

    That's some accomplisment! Well done!! I will go in there do my bit and go...I'd imagine one day if I'm all lean and strong and tight some of them might call me a MILF. It happens sometimes already when I'm clothed. I'll know I'm fit when it happens in work out clothes too haha

    Its funny, 'cause here I am a fat old housewife, but I talk to the trainer often--just about daily. Just the other day, an off-duty trainer greeted me with "there you are!!" I kinda gave him an odd look so he explained that he sees me come in all the time, and since I am so regular, he knows that when I come in, his workout is almost over. There are several people who I see in passing, including a lady who is recovering from a stroke, who take notice and tell me how great I am doing.

    Actually, I had forgotten until just now...but one day I actually made some guy look bad on the machines! He let me work in a set on the back extension, and I dropped the weight 1 notch then knocked out 40 reps--he said he could only do like 12!
  • No reason to worry. Most of us who lift regularly know its not about how you look or how much you lift. True lifters will notice you when you have superb technique, thats about it. (Well if you got really nice curves, we mgiht sneak a peak during rest periods--eye candy is good for bloodflow--but we know that is too close to the 'creepy' line, and try not to do it much/get noticed doing it.)

    You'd be surprised how boxed in we are when training hard (especially with headphones on), sometimes I work out and I know there are people there, but its just blobs, I can't even tell you afterwards whether they were men or women.. just mostly moving shadows in the background that sometimes occupy/linger on the stationI want to work out next.

    that's the effect I was hoping to have there in your last paragraph...next time, I won't wear red top! That attracts attention! :)
  • TG no one talked to me... not even a grunt.

    Another thing I have to ask while I am here...you know in the middle of the training if you want to get water (fil up the bottle from the fountain)...is it bad form to walk in front of someone who is lifting? What if there is no mirror. Oh, and might I add, I'm scared to walk anywhere near them so I'll need to go to the loo before I go in there again :)
  • Generalle
    Generalle Posts: 201 Member
    the trick is to just keep going and eventually you'll feel just as comfortable as they are.
    I'm literally the only female in the 'big boys part' of the gym 99% of the time and I don't care at all. Like a previous poster said, a huge chunk of the men lifting are doing it wrong anyway so their opinion of whether you should be there or not is irrelevant.
    There's a lot to be said about the feeling of being able to lift the same if not more than them as well!!!
  • That was me three months ago. I really had to swallow my discomfort because there was a goal I was focussing on. Nothing like being very overweight, over 40 and working with younger people to make you feel older than you are. I am pretty sure though that most of them don't think this way.
    Please stick with it. It does get better and you will love the results. I feel much better about myself and while I have a long way to go I don't feel uncomfortable anymore and have begun to make friends there. People will respect the effort you are putting in.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    I feel like a badass when I'm the only girl in the free weight section honestly.

    Just do your thing, ignore 'em.

    If they bug you with awful comments, say something like "I'm getting strong so I can punch out jerks like you"

    =D

    Keep liftin'

    Yes, I will continue and it's not the type of gym where people would say anything TO you, just behind your back. :) I don't really mind then... just wondered what ppl thought of newbies who are unfit lifting.

    In any case, not for long! I shall overcome! I did hear a guy at the gym tell an older woman (my age) that she was really looking great and to keep up the good work and he wasn't a trainer and he was HOT!

    To be honest, try to stop worrying about your age - I am older than you and feel totally comfortable in the squat rack or any part of the free weights section. There are people of all ages there. Just focus on what you are doing as most of them will be focusing on what they are doing.
  • wee_wolfie
    wee_wolfie Posts: 40 Member
    I booked a trainer to take me to the free weights, didn't have the confidence to do it myself, and now I mostly work out there. I found it massively intimidating, and still do if it is busy, but I put in my headphones and play something get myself all revved up. It's not so bad, mostly you can completely avoid communication with the dudes and just get on with it. I have only spoken to people maybe 3 times, and it was to ask if they were using the smith machine or something. One guy has been nice to me, which was a surprise, but only the violent 'roid guy has been overtly intimidating. It may help that the vast majority of the dudes in my gym are too busy checking out other dudes or themselves though haha!

    Just crank up the volume and go for it - the results are deeply satisfying :)
  • That was me three months ago. I really had to swallow my discomfort because there was a goal I was focussing on. Nothing like being very overweight, over 40 and working with younger people to make you feel older than you are. I am pretty sure though that most of them don't think this way.
    Please stick with it. It does get better and you will love the results. I feel much better about myself and while I have a long way to go I don't feel uncomfortable anymore and have begun to make friends there. People will respect the effort you are putting in.

    that's such great encouragement...! I am so motivated but I'm taking it slow and getting good at doing the things I've learned instead of moving on...I told my trainer I don't want to/can't do the eliptical because I'm simply too self conscious and think I'll fall off!
  • EvgeniZyntx
    EvgeniZyntx Posts: 24,208 Member
    First let me say, I realise both men and women work out in the weights only heavy weights part of my gym... it's just tonight, my first time in there with a trainer, it was all lads. I would say there were 20 there and probably I was the oldest person there by at least 10 years (I'm 43)...

    I was in with my trainer who is a cute female in her late 20s I'd guess.

    I felt really really uncomfortable training there as they don't really chat and we were talking (because she was training me and it was my first time) and self-conscious. Not that I'm flattering myself into thinking they were looking at me, as I'm sure they have their own ****e to think about and working out is something you need to be focussed for...

    but... what do lads think of unfit women in the big weights gym?

    I'm hoping that I can go back there again to train and not feel so incredibly out of place, unfit and frankly frightened. It's not like they were going to gang up on me and make me do the plank but I was still so nervous...

    any tips from girls who've done it and any lads who have a comment, please, enlighten me and say things that will make me want to try again!

    PS I actually got a great workout in terms of form and effort because I felt like I was on the telly!!

    I don't care WHAT the big boys think!! I still have 30# to lose before I cross the line from obese to overweight...then another 20 or so to be *healthy*

    I have wanted to go in the big boys room for a while. One day I was doing the machines and I saw a lady over there leg pressing. I made a comment to her about wanting to do that *someday* and she showed me how!! The bar alone was 118lbs, and I actually found it to be EASY. The next time I leg pressed, I asked the trainer ( early 20s guy, super cute) to help me load the machine. he put 90# on there ( for a total of 208) and I did it fine!!

    I keep hearing that squats are awesome, and the trainer is a big advocate of using weights vs machines...so a few weeks ago I decided to try squatting again ( I tried it like 6 months ago and was SUPER sore, so I quit) and asked the trainer to watch me to make sure my form was good. I can squat a measly 65# right now, but am hoping to be close to 100# by Christmas.

    Great job!
    Squats are great! Look at videos for form or read Starting Strength. Btw, the bar usually 45lbs for free weight squats. Always start you squats with the bar unloaded.
  • perfect10isha
    perfect10isha Posts: 200 Member
    Don't know if its been said already, but just keep going back. Even if only for 1 or 2 exercises and you will get more and more comfortable each time. It can be intimidating, but I promise as you get more comfortable using the equipment and feel more competent you will start to walk in there like you own the joint. For me, once I felt comfortable using the weights I didn't feel so awkward anymore. The more you go the more the lads will get used to seeing you and the more you'll become a fixture just like them. Put on some headphones, go in there and focus and get lift weights. Simple as that, just take it one day at a time. GL
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Personally, I usually think, "wow great to see that you're there working out - keep it up!"

    I think you'll find that those guys that are really big, you know the tatted up monsters that look like they could eat the weights they're lifting? They're usually pretty nice guys that freely give advice if asked when the weights aren't in their hands. Quite a few have helped me. Just smile and enjoy yourself.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Personally, I usually think, "wow great to see that you're there working out - keep it up!"

    I think you'll find that those guys that are really big, you know the tatted up monsters that look like they could eat the weights they're lifting? They're usually pretty nice guys that freely give advice if asked when the weights aren't in their hands. Quite a few have helped me. Just smile and enjoy yourself.

    Hey! Now there's nothing wrong with a juicy tatted man!
  • abyssfully
    abyssfully Posts: 410 Member
    I think they care less than what you think! Whether you are unfit or fit.

    For example, a couple of years back I was in the weights section of the gym and stupid me decides to bench press without a spotter --- I had to scream HELPPPPP for anyone to even notice! Two big muscle guys quickly ran to my aid - but the point is that it's not like they were sitting there staring at me the whole time!

    Keep up the good work! Don't back away from lifting heavy because you feel awkward - you will get used to that area and will be glad you did!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    i'm one of the fat chicks in the weight room :drinker:

    dont be scared, i honestly think i get more respect for consistently coming to the gym and lifting. there was one guy who was a little b*tchy to me at first about me using the squat rack when he was deadlifting in it. but now he's pretty nice and will even save the squat rack for me if i get in a bit late on a mon or wed.

    i thjnk they also became a little bit more friendly to me after i demanded high fives from a few of them on the day when i was able to deadlift more than my body weight :laugh:

    but in general now i'm getting the comments about how i'm losing a lot of weight or how they wish they could get their gfs in the weight room

    oh yeah, i wear compression pants too by the way, and my butt is fabulous, so i have started getting more compliments on my squat technique and my posterior chain :laugh:
  • Begood03
    Begood03 Posts: 1,259 Member
    Don't worry about it, just go and do your workout.
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    Bumping because I'm 46 years old and starting in a couple of weeks and was wondering about etiquette there. Don't want to piss anyone off because I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing.
  • Sarauk2sf
    Sarauk2sf Posts: 28,072 Member
    Bumping because I'm 46 years old and starting in a couple of weeks and was wondering about etiquette there. Don't want to piss anyone off because I'm doing something I shouldn't be doing.

    Rack your weights......that's pretty much it.