So I need advice... Dont judge
Brianna72994
Posts: 887
in Chit-Chat
I never thought I'd have to resort to MFP message boards for advice, but I just need someone to talk to.
Let me start off by introducing myself. My name is Brianna, i'm 18 years old. I have been dating this guy for about 4 months now, he is 16 almost 17. We used to be really close, we would hang out a few days a week and we would text 24/7. He was really special to me, I felt like I could really open up to him. I love him alot. For the past couple of days, it's like he just stopped caring. He started asking for more space, and just acting distant. I dont think there is another girl, he doesnt really talk to other girls (and I was his very first girlfriend). Today, he broke up with me. Obviously I'm devastated, and this is where I need your help. I'm not sure what to do. Should I give up and move on (although I REALLY dont want to, especially since I have bad luck with men) or should I give him a couple days and then try to talk to him again? Please help, any advice is welcome.
Let me start off by introducing myself. My name is Brianna, i'm 18 years old. I have been dating this guy for about 4 months now, he is 16 almost 17. We used to be really close, we would hang out a few days a week and we would text 24/7. He was really special to me, I felt like I could really open up to him. I love him alot. For the past couple of days, it's like he just stopped caring. He started asking for more space, and just acting distant. I dont think there is another girl, he doesnt really talk to other girls (and I was his very first girlfriend). Today, he broke up with me. Obviously I'm devastated, and this is where I need your help. I'm not sure what to do. Should I give up and move on (although I REALLY dont want to, especially since I have bad luck with men) or should I give him a couple days and then try to talk to him again? Please help, any advice is welcome.
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Replies
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1. Relax.
2. Breath
3. Give it a few days.
4. Do not let it consume your life. He is young. Probably short attention span. Like all guys that age. Ask him starait out what the deal is, then move on. You are young, go have fun.0 -
^ exactly. Guys at his age have no idea what they want... Give it a few days
And sorry, it sucks when that happens0 -
Are you saying I should give it a few days and then try to talk to him?
Honestly I'm hoping he will change his mind.0 -
Sorry about that babe! But to be honest "hes just not that in to you" don't lower your self or hold on to someone who isnt into you. Men are very simple and direct if they want you theyll work for it, if not move on. Dont waste your time your very young there are so many others! Good luck on your journey.0
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No means no. The world is too vast to waste a single moment being around someone who does not want to be around you. Consider it his loss and never look back. He'll come back around and say he's sorry and he made a mistake. Never live your life for another man (or woman). Set your personal path and move towards it. Eventually you'll find the right person who wants to come along for the ride and it will be a truly great adventure from that point on. Just my two cents. :-)0
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Sorry about that babe! But to be honest "hes just not that in to you" don't lower your self or hold on to someone who isnt into you. Men are very simple and direct if they want you theyll work for it, if not move on. Dont waste your time your very young there are so many others! Good luck on your journey.
I agree with this.0 -
i second that!1. Relax.
2. Breath
3. Give it a few days.
4. Do not let it consume your life. He is young. Probably short attention span. Like all guys that age. Ask him starait out what the deal is, then move on. You are young, go have fun.0 -
Move on. Don't try to contact him, it makes you look clingy/needy, and neither one of those are attractive.0
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i second that!1. Relax.
2. Breath
3. Give it a few days.
4. Do not let it consume your life. He is young. Probably short attention span. Like all guys that age. Ask him starait out what the deal is, then move on. You are young, go have fun.
The problem is, the heart wants what it wants. You need to override your feelings with logic.0 -
Move on. Don't try to contact him, it makes you look clingy/needy, and neither one of those are attractive.
I dont try to be clingy or needy or anything like that. It is just so hard to move on, when that person is basically the most important thing in your life. All my friends are away at different colleges, so he's basically all I have right now.0 -
Move on. Don't try to contact him, it makes you look clingy/needy, and neither one of those are attractive.
I dont try to be clingy or needy or anything like that. It is just so hard to move on, when that person is basically the most important thing in your life. All my friends are away at different colleges, so he's basically all I have right now.
We have all been there. It is not easy. Growing pains. He was no Mr. Right, He was Mr. right Now. You need to be a trooper and move on. It stinks, it is hard, and it is not fun. Step by step. Just do not do anything stupid to yourself.0 -
You are both young. The world is big.
It hurts yes. Change is always hard, and even harder when we aren't in control.
When you love someone, whether it is being returned to you or not, you need to also be able to respect them and their decisions. You'll know when you are ready to truly move-on in terms of another relationship, and if this was your first love, you'll never really forget. Maybe in time you'll be friends, maybe you'll drift apart. None of these events need to define you. Have a cry, have a bath, have a cookie - whatever. Start a new activity - go to the bookstore or library, or coffee shop. Bring your laptop. Find something for you, because when you are confident and happy with yourself, it shows and it attracts all kinds of good people for your life - both friends and lovers.
It's OK to hurt.0 -
I would just give it time... You know the saying, If you love them let them go and if they come back they were always yours... Or something like that. I know its hard and im sorry that happened but I would just let him have some time. Maybe he will change his mind, But if you call him and stuff you may push him farther away. If he does not come around then move on... There is a guy out there that will want to spend all his time with you. Sometimes you have to date a few wrong guys to find the Mr.Right0
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Truth is he's already moved on!!!! you were the flavor of the month...........at that age guys just wanna have fun!!! Hit it n quit it style!!!:devil:0
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Truth is he's already moved on!!!! you were the flavor of the month...........at that age guys just wanna have fun!!! Hit it n quit it style!!!:devil:
I guess I should add he never "hit it"0 -
My mom used to always tell me this
If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t they never were.
Give him space, if you are worried something else is going on in a week or two let him know if he needs someone to talk to that you are still there for him. Otherwise do not contact him.
I had a similar experience with a guy, turns out he wasn't comfortable with who he was and didn't like being labeled by others with how they viewed me and him compared to me (he was shorter than I am and didn't like the fact that people noticed and commented about his height more when he was seen with me). People at that age are very influenced by what others think, peer pressure and all that. If he this is what is going on, and he isn't willing to take crap from others for being with you then he wasn't good enough for you
It isn't the end of the world it is just the end of a chapter in the book that is your life, characters can always come back but sometimes they are gone for good.0 -
Truth is he's already moved on!!!! you were the flavor of the month...........at that age guys just wanna have fun!!! Hit it n quit it style!!!:devil:
I guess I should add he never "hit it"
and BEERRUNNER is going to say, that's why he moved on.. right beerrunner?0 -
I can't tell you how many times this has happened to me. He's just not that into you. If you keep thinking about him and hoping he'll come back, you'll probably be waiting a long time. (I don't know your situation, it's just not likely) Go have fun with the girls, flirt, watch some funny movies, and try to slowly move away from him. I know it's hard. I'm stuck where you are too, so I understand the uncertainty and pain you're going through. Eventually it gets easier the longer you're away from them. Since he's young there could be so many reasons. The best you can do is focus on yourself and let whatever happens happen.
Best of luck sweety. We'll all be rootin for ya!0 -
i second that!1. Relax.
2. Breath
3. Give it a few days.
4. Do not let it consume your life. He is young. Probably short attention span. Like all guys that age. Ask him starait out what the deal is, then move on. You are young, go have fun.
The problem is, the heart wants what it wants. You need to override your feelings with logic.
Agreed.0 -
Truth is he's already moved on!!!! you were the flavor of the month...........at that age guys just wanna have fun!!! Hit it n quit it style!!!:devil:
I guess I should add he never "hit it"
and BEERRUNNER is going to say, that's why he moved on.. right beerrunner?
You know it!! :bigsmile:0 -
No means no. The world is too vast to waste a single moment being around someone who does not want to be around you. Consider it his loss and never look back. He'll come back around and say he's sorry and he made a mistake. Never live your life for another man (or woman). Set your personal path and move towards it. Eventually you'll find the right person who wants to come along for the ride and it will be a truly great adventure from that point on. Just my two cents. :-)
Yes. This.
I have a rule - if we break up, its over. I refuse to play the breakup/get back together game, even if it is one of those heat of the moment type things. Most people break up for a reason. Not saying it never works but the majority of the time, getting back together just doesn't work.
I've been there. I'm sure most of us have. It will get easier. It seems that when you break up, all you can remember is the good. The more time passes, the easier it is to reflect on the whole relationship. Sometimes we realize that it wasn't as great as we thought.0 -
Some boys are total jerks. I felt head over heels at 15. Which sounds stupid. Needless to say he broke up with me. I would focus on you. Acting like you NEED this guy will just put him on a petal stool he doesn't need to be on. I am very sorry and I'm sure it's his loss!0
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Move on. Don't try to contact him, it makes you look clingy/needy, and neither one of those are attractive.
I dont try to be clingy or needy or anything like that. It is just so hard to move on, when that person is basically the most important thing in your life. All my friends are away at different colleges, so he's basically all I have right now.
And unfortunately, that's a huge problem. No one person should ever be all you have. Find some hobbies, find some new friends. Move on. You should be happy with yourself before you try and be happy with someone else.0 -
I never thought I'd have to resort to MFP message boards for advice, but I just need someone to talk to.
Let me start off by introducing myself. My name is Brianna, i'm 18 years old. I have been dating this guy for about 4 months now, he is 16 almost 17. We used to be really close, we would hang out a few days a week and we would text 24/7. He was really special to me, I felt like I could really open up to him. I love him alot. For the past couple of days, it's like he just stopped caring. He started asking for more space, and just acting distant. I dont think there is another girl, he doesnt really talk to other girls (and I was his very first girlfriend). Today, he broke up with me. Obviously I'm devastated, and this is where I need your help. I'm not sure what to do. Should I give up and move on (although I REALLY dont want to, especially since I have bad luck with men) or should I give him a couple days and then try to talk to him again? Please help, any advice is welcome.
I know it seems like the end of the world right now but, please believe me, in a year, he will be nothing more then a sidenote in your life history.
The funny thing about relationships is that you can have a 99% failure rate but, the one that is sucessful makes those 99 failed ones meaningless.0 -
Truth is he's already moved on!!!! you were the flavor of the month...........at that age guys just wanna have fun!!! Hit it n quit it style!!!:devil:
Hey, that kind of attitude may be ok with mature women, used to these things, but an 18 year old who may be possibly less than 18, not cool at all.0 -
I'll chip in, even though I shouldn't.
Don't let this guy damage you. Part of what your having to go through is having to do it alone, you said your friends are away at college, and you're having to deal with this alone.
When I was a senior in high school, my first girlfriend had me wrapped around her finger, and after 3 months I was still starry eyed. She Actually lost her virginity to my best friend at her surprise birthday party.. the point is, to this day that still affects me when I talk to women.
Take a deep breath, and try taking a step back and look at him. You deserve someone who wants to make you happy as much as you make him happy. If he's not a good fit for you, you're cute.. there ARE other guys out there. If it's over it doesn't mean that your LIFE is over.
I just wish someone had told me to open my eyes, because the warning signs were there the last month of my relationship, and I was so blind I refused to see them for what they were. The first cut is the deepest.. is now the song running through my head.0 -
Gotta be honest....at that age sure, it feels like the world is going to end but the fact of the matter is you are so young and have so much living to do. Do not waste a lot of time waiting around for him, over a 4 month long relationship. If he wants to be with you, he would be.
There is someone else just waiting for you to walk into their view who will catch you, and want to keep you.0 -
Give up and move on. I speak from experience: hanging on will only make things worse for you.0
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Move on. Don't try to contact him, it makes you look clingy/needy, and neither one of those are attractive.
This too ^^
Just know that "You will survive without him", and know that your still young, beautiful, and haven't tried as many flavors of ice cream yet. Maybe this is for the good, because its allowing you more time, to work on your individual goals. And while your focusing on that, the right one will find you... Think about all you can do for you.... to love yourself. What can you do for you, to make your life a better life (Outside of having a romantic relationship)
Seriously... If I could go back in time, and be your age again, I would not base my worth on wether I had a boyfriend, or was lovable, or popular, or fit into the size 5 designer jeans, driving a mercedes. Those really aren't important. Thats a waste of time... Persue your dreams first.. Don't let any relationships spoil those dreams.0 -
Give up and move on. I speak from experience: hanging on will only make things worse for you.
Agree0
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