So I need advice... Dont judge

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  • 3dogsrunning
    3dogsrunning Posts: 27,167 Member
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    No means no. The world is too vast to waste a single moment being around someone who does not want to be around you. Consider it his loss and never look back. He'll come back around and say he's sorry and he made a mistake. Never live your life for another man (or woman). Set your personal path and move towards it. Eventually you'll find the right person who wants to come along for the ride and it will be a truly great adventure from that point on. Just my two cents. :-)

    Yes. This.
    I have a rule - if we break up, its over. I refuse to play the breakup/get back together game, even if it is one of those heat of the moment type things. Most people break up for a reason. Not saying it never works but the majority of the time, getting back together just doesn't work.
    I've been there. I'm sure most of us have. It will get easier. It seems that when you break up, all you can remember is the good. The more time passes, the easier it is to reflect on the whole relationship. Sometimes we realize that it wasn't as great as we thought.
  • allishax9918
    allishax9918 Posts: 53
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    Some boys are total jerks. I felt head over heels at 15. Which sounds stupid. Needless to say he broke up with me. I would focus on you. Acting like you NEED this guy will just put him on a petal stool he doesn't need to be on. I am very sorry and I'm sure it's his loss!
  • jrbb03092
    jrbb03092 Posts: 198 Member
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    Move on. Don't try to contact him, it makes you look clingy/needy, and neither one of those are attractive.

    I dont try to be clingy or needy or anything like that. It is just so hard to move on, when that person is basically the most important thing in your life. All my friends are away at different colleges, so he's basically all I have right now.

    And unfortunately, that's a huge problem. No one person should ever be all you have. Find some hobbies, find some new friends. Move on. You should be happy with yourself before you try and be happy with someone else.
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
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    I never thought I'd have to resort to MFP message boards for advice, but I just need someone to talk to.


    Let me start off by introducing myself. My name is Brianna, i'm 18 years old. I have been dating this guy for about 4 months now, he is 16 almost 17. We used to be really close, we would hang out a few days a week and we would text 24/7. He was really special to me, I felt like I could really open up to him. I love him alot. For the past couple of days, it's like he just stopped caring. He started asking for more space, and just acting distant. I dont think there is another girl, he doesnt really talk to other girls (and I was his very first girlfriend). Today, he broke up with me. Obviously I'm devastated, and this is where I need your help. I'm not sure what to do. Should I give up and move on (although I REALLY dont want to, especially since I have bad luck with men) or should I give him a couple days and then try to talk to him again? Please help, any advice is welcome.

    I know it seems like the end of the world right now but, please believe me, in a year, he will be nothing more then a sidenote in your life history.

    The funny thing about relationships is that you can have a 99% failure rate but, the one that is sucessful makes those 99 failed ones meaningless.
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    Truth is he's already moved on!!!! you were the flavor of the month...........at that age guys just wanna have fun!!! Hit it n quit it style!!!:devil:

    Hey, that kind of attitude may be ok with mature women, used to these things, but an 18 year old who may be possibly less than 18, not cool at all.
  • Siege_Tank
    Siege_Tank Posts: 781 Member
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    I'll chip in, even though I shouldn't.

    Don't let this guy damage you. Part of what your having to go through is having to do it alone, you said your friends are away at college, and you're having to deal with this alone.

    When I was a senior in high school, my first girlfriend had me wrapped around her finger, and after 3 months I was still starry eyed. She Actually lost her virginity to my best friend at her surprise birthday party.. the point is, to this day that still affects me when I talk to women.

    Take a deep breath, and try taking a step back and look at him. You deserve someone who wants to make you happy as much as you make him happy. If he's not a good fit for you, you're cute.. there ARE other guys out there. If it's over it doesn't mean that your LIFE is over.

    I just wish someone had told me to open my eyes, because the warning signs were there the last month of my relationship, and I was so blind I refused to see them for what they were. The first cut is the deepest.. is now the song running through my head.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    Gotta be honest....at that age sure, it feels like the world is going to end but the fact of the matter is you are so young and have so much living to do. Do not waste a lot of time waiting around for him, over a 4 month long relationship. If he wants to be with you, he would be.

    There is someone else just waiting for you to walk into their view who will catch you, and want to keep you.
  • Nerdy_Rose
    Nerdy_Rose Posts: 1,277 Member
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    Give up and move on. I speak from experience: hanging on will only make things worse for you.
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
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    Move on. Don't try to contact him, it makes you look clingy/needy, and neither one of those are attractive.

    This too ^^

    Just know that "You will survive without him", and know that your still young, beautiful, and haven't tried as many flavors of ice cream yet. Maybe this is for the good, because its allowing you more time, to work on your individual goals. And while your focusing on that, the right one will find you... Think about all you can do for you.... to love yourself. What can you do for you, to make your life a better life (Outside of having a romantic relationship)

    Seriously... If I could go back in time, and be your age again, I would not base my worth on wether I had a boyfriend, or was lovable, or popular, or fit into the size 5 designer jeans, driving a mercedes. Those really aren't important. Thats a waste of time... Persue your dreams first.. Don't let any relationships spoil those dreams.
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    Give up and move on. I speak from experience: hanging on will only make things worse for you.

    Agree
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    Truth is he's already moved on!!!! you were the flavor of the month...........at that age guys just wanna have fun!!! Hit it n quit it style!!!:devil:

    Hey, that kind of attitude may be ok with mature women, used to these things, but an 18 year old who may be possibly less than 18, not cool at all.

    I promise I'm not less than 18. And whatever, I appreciate his honesty. But that was still kinda harsh :(
  • Mad_Dog_Muscle
    Mad_Dog_Muscle Posts: 1,251 Member
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    Maybe you only think he isnt talking to other girls, but as a guy, the signs all point to another girl that he became interested in. Sorry, but sounds like you need to move on and find someone else to be interested in. You probably deserve better anyway. Good luck.
  • Sweatinglikeapigtolooklikeafox
    Sweatinglikeapigtolooklikeafox Posts: 189 Member
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    Everyones advice on here is something I wished I had known when I went through this years ago.
    Trust me, you'll get over this and wonder why you ever gave the guy another thought.
  • OliveLucas
    OliveLucas Posts: 84
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    Sorry about that babe! But to be honest "hes just not that in to you" don't lower your self or hold on to someone who isnt into you. Men are very simple and direct if they want you theyll work for it, if not move on. Dont waste your time your very young there are so many others! Good luck on your journey.

    Ditto!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    i'm going to be blunt.



    i dont understand what you mean when you say you dont know what to do?

    move on. it doesn't matter why he broke up up with you. just move on because he's obviously not interested
  • chubbygirl253
    chubbygirl253 Posts: 1,309 Member
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    Move on. Don't try to contact him, it makes you look clingy/needy, and neither one of those are attractive.

    Yep, I second this. The only way you two would end up back together at this point is if you indeed give him all the space he needs and he misses you so he has a change of heart. But it would require a lot of space. A LOT. Like from where you are standing to about...oh, the moon might be far enough. Any contact at all makes you look clingy and desperate. Don't text him or use other social media to reach out. Don't stalk him on facebook. Don't stalk him at all actually. If there is any tiny piece inside of him that still wants to be with you, then you'll soon find out. Because after a few days of missing you he'll come crawling back. And your dignity will still be intact. But I'm not gonna lie. The chance of this working is about .00001% You really need to find a way to move on. You may have loved him but it gets easier. Most people don't find their soulmates for life at your age or especially his age because your wants and needs in a relationship and a partner are going to change many times and that's ok. Life evolves. Most of us are different than we were in high school. So he's changing and that's ok. The thing is, you can't change to conform to be what he wants you to be. It doesn't work, it only destroys your self worth and your own identity. Let him move on. If he doesn't came back on his own, it isn't worth saving anyway. Sounds like he really needs to see what else is out there, and maybe you do too. Even if it doesn't feel that way right now.
  • magj0y
    magj0y Posts: 1,911 Member
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    1. Relax.
    2. Breath
    3. Give it a few days.
    4. Do not let it consume your life. He is young. Probably short attention span. Like all guys that age. Ask him starait out what the deal is, then move on. You are young, go have fun.

    ^^ he is young, you are young and most guys between 16 and 22 don't know what the hell they're doing so a good relationship isn't easy to find.
  • VogtAndrea
    VogtAndrea Posts: 236
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    When your heart's involved,its hard to just let go but you need to do just that. It was obvious that the guy had been thinking that he needed to either be on his own or out there in the world. He's YOUNGer than you both in years and in maturity. Let him go and grow up at his own speed.
    You need to take a deep breath, look around and let your heart heal. Date a bit. Meet people. Go to movies or places with friends. Get into some activities that let you socialize with people who are 18ish and don't make your happiness depend on a relationship. That will throw you into a relationship that might not be what you need, or be with the right person.
    Learn to be happy in your own right and do stuff with friends or even on your own. Being alone doesn't have to mean that you're lonely. Then when the right person or even the wrong one comes along, you choose what you want based on things besides being needy emotionally.
  • Charlie003
    Charlie003 Posts: 1,333 Member
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    i'm going to be blunt.



    i dont understand what you mean when you say you dont know what to do?

    move on. it doesn't matter why he broke up up with you. just move on because he's obviously not interested

    Agree.
  • JenniBaby85
    JenniBaby85 Posts: 855 Member
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    Give yourself some time, and the heartache will ease and it will be easier to move on. Don't rush into anything right now.

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