Non-Traditional Brides - Any Regrets?

Why does it seem like I'm the only person that thought of "non-traditional brides" as people that did things like a theme wedding, or wore a dress other than white, a costume, whatever...

My ex and I were planning a themed wedding, to be followed by a block party on the block of street between the two places we went on our first date. We also considered doing a non-denominational, Muslim influenced wedding.

I think the only thing you regret is if you don't do what you want. to me, 40 people sounds like a lot of people but who knows. All I know is that in my mind, if you wear a white dress, have a wedding party, a venue, a reception, in any capacity, that is a "traditional" bride.

We had a *very* non-traditional wedding. We had about 10 guests, all friends. We had costumes of a sort. We had all manner of silliness and shenanigans, including pole dancing. It was fun. I don't regret that choice over a more traditional wedding at all. If we hadn't done that, we would have eloped. I could not have stomached the stress, or expense of a big wedding. Not to mention the stress of putting all of our family together.

I should add, I was never one of those women, or even little girls, who dreamed of a big, white wedding. It might be because my parents eloped in Vegas, so I never grew up seeing pictures of my mom in a big white gown or anything like that (she did have a photo of them, in which they sport some a very 70s look). Or maybe I'm just "not that kind of girl."

My first wedding was 200 people, big white dress, church etc... and I did not like it one bit. I did it all myself on a budget and it was very stressful.

This time we decided on a local "tea house" with a gazebo that we got married in. I think we had 40 ppl total under tents in case of rain, and having the wedding and reception in the same venue saved a lot of hassle. Used my sister in law as my wedding planner. We thought it was great. I would suggest getting a wedding planner!!!!

The only thing is that a couple of my friends thought that I was purposely leaving them out and I had to explain that it was only really family that was coming, but we did have a couple of close friends on each of our sides. If you can afford a larger party for the people you aren't inviting to the ceremony, that might help spare feelings if this could be a factor.

Married twice, both small ... first was at the courthouse, then a BBQ after at my parents. Second was at a waterside park. Both were great.

People often forget - it's not the ceremony that makes a marriage, it's the commitment. After the party is over, the real commitment begins. As my mom said to me, Do you want a wedding, or do you want a marriage? I wanted a marriage, and that's what I have. :-)

My husband and I also went downtown to the courthouse and got married. We invited no one...we felt if we invited our parents they would tell the rest of the family, and it would snowball, and same thing with friends. So we just went. Our witnesses were a stranger who was waiting for something and the court clerk.

Our parents were a bit upset and so were some of our friends but everyone soon got over it. My mother-in-law and one of her sisters were going to do a small reception/dinner for us but then their other sister died so that, understandably, fell by the wayside. We were going to have a renewal vows ceremony for our 10th anniversary in 2009 but I had about as little desire to do all the planning for that as I did about a wedding LOL. Maybe I'll get it together for our 20th.

When I think back on my wedding it seems just perfect for us; small and private. I still have my wedding outfit and I treasure it like most women do their big gowns.

My first wedding was held at my parents' house with a justice of the peace. Only family was there. I wore a plain blue dress.

My second wedding was held in a Catholic church with a priest and a Protestant minister (who signed all the paperwork because I was divorced). My husband was raised Catholic, this was his first marriage and we wanted to make his mom happy by getting married in a church. I wore a simple wedding dress. We had probably 50-60 people attend, friends and family. He had a best man and I had a maid of honor, that was the whole bridal party. Our reception was a pig picking at our place. The total cost to us was probably $1500. I was very happy with the whole thing.

I agree with everyone who said do what makes you happy.

I was married 21 years ago, I wanted a small, but traditional weddingm white dress, church, bridesmaids, etc... I gave in to pressure from my parents (mostly my father) because I was the first in my family to get married, and ended up having a huge wedding, with people there that I didn't even know.

I don't necessarily regret the wedding itself, but thinking back on all that expense and doing it mostly to make other people happy is what I regret.

I'm divorced now, and if I ever do get married again, it will be the way my future husband and I decide to do it.

My wedding was at home with 11 people. My only regret was having my now ex-BFF to be my matron of honor. I only asked her so my wedding wouldn't get the redneck-inbred label (only 3 people were not related to me).

We had a destination wedding with about 15 people. I don't regret it at all. We had a blast and saved a ton of money. We had a party when we got back for all the family that wasn't able to make the destination part. It was a lot of fun. But, if you feel like you will regret it then maybe it isn;t the best option. Go with your gut, it's usually right.

My husband and I got married at city hall in 2009 with about 30 people there. We went to lunch right after and my grandma surprised us with a small wedding cake so we cut the cake and all of that. It was really special.

We just had our wedding ceremony this month and had about 40 people there. It was super casual and non-traditional. My husband and I walked down the aisle together, no programs, seating charts, bridal party or annoying DJ's forcing people to dance. It was great. I think that our city hall wedding felt more like a wedding than our wedding ceremony though cause city hall was more our style. I never dreamt about my wedding as a little girl though. I never wanted to get married. Oh well, I'll have better pictures from the ceremony and I'll be 22 pounds lighter than the city hall pictures!

We had a non-traditional 5pm cocktail wedding at our house. It was a lot of work to pull off but I loved it. We have a victorian home and rented a clear party tent with a dance floor which was awesome to see the stars at night especially with a candle centerpiece hanging from the top. The bar was open on everyone's arrival and we had white chairs around where we were getting married for some people to sit but not all as it was a cocktail party. The only real structured seating areas we used were renting bar tables and chairs for the patio areas. We served champagne right after our quick ceremony. It was beer and wine only except I had the bar tender make a special drink of the hour... chocolate martinis, mango champage cocktails, etc. finishing with bailey's in an edible chocolate shooter cup.

We had an appetizer style dinner so no seating was required. We had a high end restaurant make some of the best food I've ever had and was surprised they could pull it off with my kitchen. Food was served all night long. We rented a high energy band, not a DJ, who played a great mix of songs and people said it was one of the best parties they have been to but they felt bad holding a drink while we were saying our vows of which I said nonsense, or we wouldn't have had the bar open before then. The band made it very intimate with built in entertainment versus a DJ.

Things I regret:

1. Not hiring extra people the day of the wedding to help set up although I had lots of people hired to clean during the party. I underestimated how long it'd take to put the flowers out, beer on ice, etc.
2. Letting my Grandmother talk me into posed wedding photos right after my ceremony - I missed the cheese platter and it took way too much time to do when I had hired a photographer to take candid shots all night because it was a short wedding as it was starting at 5pm. People will always try to impose their crap on you and I didn't hold my guns and missed out enjoying my moment right after the ceremony while everyone else was having fun and I was stuck doing photos for an hour!!!!!
3. Not having enough cold platters as it took time to get the hot stuff out and people were waiting for food.
4. Inviting certain people - again not sticking to my guns about it and doing what I thought I "should" do. I missed the last song at my wedding because my neighbors wanted a tour of my home and I had some friends there I've never spent time with since. I would have liked even less people at my wedding.

I loved it though because I put all my efforts into the decadence of the event and not into the number of people I invited. Less gives you the time for more and you get more time to actually interact with everyone at your wedding when there are less people. Everyone has a different idea of what their perfect wedding is and you'll regret not making it special in the way that suits you best. It's a very special day and it goes by so fast. Do everything you can so that you are free to just take in your special day. Congrats!

1st husband Courthouse My sister and His Friend

Did I regret it Yes the marriage and the wedding-

watching my friends picking out dresses walking down the aisle at the time it made me feel like I missed something.

So second marriage nice wedding at a Country Club outside in a Gazebo - 115 People at the reception awesome DJ - I loved it that was 24 years ago.