I don't "look" like I lost 50 lbs, so no one believed me.

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  • Akumu
    Akumu Posts: 120 Member
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    "Allow those you love to be your real support, all the others out there should be tiny little marshmallow balls thrown at you, if you like them, have a few (but not to many) and enjoy, if you don't like them, let them bounce off you; because their commentary is only as important as you let it be."



    Very well said
  • shellbatronic
    shellbatronic Posts: 193
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    Ugh, weight loss really can bring out the nasty in people. When you start at a higher weight it is so easy to "poo-poo" your accomplishments, god knows I do it. And if we aren't proud and don't see it as a victory, those evil little weasels who sense any tiny bit of weakness just pounce on it. I don't think they want you to feel good about yourself because in their world it's a zero-sum game. If you're losing weight, it means they're fat.. or something. There's no real logic to it.

    What I've been doing it actually googling images of things that weigh the amount I lost. I've been doing this the whole way down.. an 8 pound trout, a 20 pound vacuum cleaner, a 40 pound Terrier... I find it hard when I just think of the number.. like right now, I'll be all "pffff, 118, I still have 30 or whatever more to go, that's nothing, I'm still so heavy." But I do an image search and it turns out I've lost a Paris Hilton. It's reaaaaaaaally easy to lose perspective, but you gotta just say, forget those people, they have their own issues that makes them wanna tear you down. Rock on, let them fester in their own misery.
  • OfficiallySexyVal
    OfficiallySexyVal Posts: 492 Member
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    Fortunately I havent had anyone that cruel to me but when I lost the first 30lbs 311 to 281 I couldn't see a difference in myself now that I have lost 61 I am really starting to see it and now no one can get me down! I know why I am doing this and I know what I want out of this new life style! I am a better and stronger for everything that I have gone through and so are you! Hope you are feeling better and that you are able to get right back into it!
  • Hambone23
    Hambone23 Posts: 486 Member
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    This is the time to be mature. So you say: I did lose 50 lbs., but you're still ugly. ;}
  • brendaj39
    brendaj39 Posts: 375 Member
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    how sad people gotta be like that...i've been my own sabatoger...
    but please get back up and do it again! this time post your success here where we can positively support you and encourage....
    keep it going!
  • starfish1783
    starfish1783 Posts: 120
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    Ugh, I'm a HUGE binge eater - especially when my emotions com into play. It's a vicious cycle, but just know - YOU lost the weight and YOU proved to yourself that you could do it. Screw anyone who tries to put you down for that. If they don't notice, psh.. tough noogies for them. YOU are amazing and I agree with the others on this post who say you should focus purely on yourself (hey, when it comes to weight loss, i say be a little selfish!) and know that there's always people out there who're gonna hate on you for gaining/losing weight. Jealously, that's all it is.

    You keep up the awesome work and know that we're here if you need some support! :flowerforyou:
  • brittamh
    brittamh Posts: 137 Member
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    You have lost 50 pounds and screw what others say. Be proud of yourself! Only you can let them make you feel bad!!
  • SlimmingSarah2012
    SlimmingSarah2012 Posts: 53
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    I think you have to do this for you...not for others. People are cruel unfortunately but you can't let them get to you like that. Put up your shields, 50 pounds is nothing to snuff at.

    Time to dust yourself off and get back up and on that wagon. You've done it before and you can do it again, don't blame yourself, don't feel guilty, don't live in the past, every day is a new day towards a new healthier version on yourself. You CAN do this!
  • awetherell
    awetherell Posts: 62 Member
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    Firstly, as everyone else has said, losing 50lbs is an incredible achievement. I jump up and down congratulating myself when I lose 2. What you did by losing 50lbs was completely change your life. The critics love to find something to criticise - I guarantee that when you have finished losing all your weight, someone will say you're still too fat or now too thin. No one can ever be perfect for them!

    It's frustrating to say, but do try to ignore them. Everyone here is right - the people who said those things are blinkered and do not realise a true achievement. If they had the self control that you had, they probably wouldn't be stuck writing those columns! They're clearly bitter...

    Regardless of your setback though, you CAN bounce back. Yes, you have gained some of the weight again, but you have already shown yourself that you can lose a whopping 50lbs - if you could do it then, you can certainly do it again - and more! Just use their criticisms as fuel; the sooner you lose all your weight and look even more stunning than I'm sure you do now, you can wiggle your skinny butt at them and you will have won.

    And if you ever need to b*tch about them in the meantime (sadly sometimes it really does help) then you know we're here to join in!

    Keep at it and good luck!

    xx
  • DragonflyF15
    DragonflyF15 Posts: 437 Member
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    I'm so sorry that happened to you :( I get mad when I hear people make remarks about fat people, or saying something like, oh, she shouldn't be wearing that to the gym and etc. I'm like, how do you know that this person didn't just lose 50lbs and they may have found some new gained confidence in themselves and you peons are going to still laugh. Besides, if they are at the gym, I say kudos to them for being on the right track! People are too quick to judge. Yes it sucks. However, pick yourself back up and build yourself up to be stronger inside as well as outside and as for those *kitten*, forgetaboutit! This is your journey and your life, live it :)
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    First, let me say that 50 lbs is a great achievement, no matter what your starting point is. You should feel great about that. So celebrate your successes, and take your setbacks as learning experiences and move on from them.

    That being said, there's some ugly truths you need to recognize. About 10% of people will genuinely care about your weight loss and be supportive. 40% will hate you for it, or be jealous of you, and the other 50% could care less unless there is something in it for them. That's the reality.

    I don't know you, and as such, I can't speak to your mental state or capacity, but I can say this, I've been losing weight, or mentoring others for a while now, and one thing I can say is that you need to worry about you, you can't let your feelings hinge on what a bunch of strangers think. The masses are cruel, mob rule is callous and unforgiving, if you put yourself out there, expect the harshest judgement you can think of, then make it worse.

    Allow those you love to be your real support, all the others out there should be tiny little marshmallow balls thrown at you, if you like them, have a few (but not to many) and enjoy, if you don't like them, let them bounce off you; because their commentary is only as important as you let it be.

    Continue your journey undaunted by the comments of fools, for only a fool would allow others to rule their though.

    Buy this man a beer.

    As for the binging as a response... learn what an "extinction burst" is, which makes changing habits SO hard: http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/07/07/extinction-burst/
  • thatjulesgirl
    thatjulesgirl Posts: 200 Member
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    Please don't be discouraged - think of the pounds you put back on as a lesson you needed to learn:

    You are doing this for yourself. It is not about other people noticing, or caring, or commending you, it is about getting the satisfaction of knowing that you're healthy and in control of your body and mind.

    You will *never* be able to please everybody... most days we can't please anybody so the only person you can aim to please is yourself.

    When I first started MFP, at the end of hundreds of failed attempts and well over 300lbs, I had my lightbulb moment: no matter how bad it seems or how hard it is, if you just keep going the weight *has* to eventually come off. Try not to put yourself on time constraints... let it take as long as you need to feel comfortable and confident with the changes... and then it'll happen. Just. Keep. Going.

    Good luck, OP. We're here with you :flowerforyou:
  • johloz
    johloz Posts: 176 Member
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    Just tell them it's more obvious when you're naked.

    Then go high-five yourself for being awesome.
  • RunsOnEspresso
    RunsOnEspresso Posts: 3,218 Member
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    I'm sorry that happened to you. People can be so awful. 50 pounds is an amazing accomplishment. I hope you are able to get yourself back on track. Take it one day at a time. And try to ignore the negative.
  • WickedGarden
    WickedGarden Posts: 944 Member
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    the only person who can appreciate a 50 pound weight loss is another person who lost 50 pounds (or more) and YOU.

    You are losing weight for YOU, for YOUR health. Screw anybody else or what they think. Are you gonna die because they don't appreciate all your efforts? no, so why do they matter?

    You did the right thing to come here and brag about it, we can cheer you on, we understand how tough weight management is.

    Congrats on all of your hard work and dedication!
  • kcatlin9
    kcatlin9 Posts: 321 Member
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    Here's the secret: I didn't change what I ate - my diary shows pizza, burgers, cake, chips, fudge, milkshakes, cheesecake, eggnog, and worse. I only changed how much. Once I knew that I COULD eat whatever I wanted, that there were no "bad" or "forbidden" foods, I didn't crave them nearly as often.

    It was simple math that got me in the end, helloitsdan. GI/GO (garbage in, garbage out).

    I figured out how many calories I could eat and still lose weight, and I logged Every. Damn. Bite. Before I even allowed myself to eat it. I would still find myself eating late at night, but I found the best way to deal with that was to write it up on the following day (if I ate it late Monday night, it would go on Tuesday's food diary, etc.) and if I had eaten too much Monday night, it severely restricted my diet Tuesday. I am stubborn, but it only took 4 or 5 "200 calorie days" (because I had binged on 1100 calories the night before) to get me to stop binging.

    My schedule is hectic, so I set aside one day a week where I burned off any extra calories I managed to pick up. That one day was spent swimming, doing Pilates, roller skating, and spending the night boogeying on the dance floor (or, ahem, other physical activities). The only rule was "It has to be fun." Again, I planned out exactly how much time I would need to spend on each activity in order to get under my weekly calorie limit. On Exercise Day I could eat as many calories as I wanted, because I could just "work them off" that same day. (Still had to log them, though.)

    Wasn't anything too magical about it, really. The hardest part was avoiding the free food at work, but I forced myself to drink two 16 oz bottles of water before I could pick something out to eat - and after 32 oz of water I'd be too full to eat more than a bite.

    I know this site focuses on calories, if you could find some lower fat, lower sodium alternatives to some of the foods you're eating (sticking to the calorie limit), it might accelerate your losses. Also, many of those foods listed are high carb food which may be instigating some of your cravings. Swap some carbs for more proteins.

    Forget the press...they're idiots in general...but I know they are important to your profession. What matters is you know you're making progress. Stick to the plan (make a few adjustments) and it will be more noticeable very soon. She who laughs last...
  • thinjustfabulous
    thinjustfabulous Posts: 30 Member
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    That's why I never bragged about weight lost.
    I just act surprise when people notice and told them it was because of work or something
  • 4_Lisa
    4_Lisa Posts: 362 Member
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    50 lbs is a huge accomplishment... Congrats. I think sometimes people who are around you the most don't see the changes as quickly because they adjust to your ever changing look every day. My husband doesn't notice my change as easily as someone I see only every week or so. Don't let them bring you down. You know that you have lost the weight and are feeling good about yourself. I don't think skinny people or people who only have 10 or 20 lbs to loose really "get" it. (no offense to anyone) but when you have a lot to lose it can be really intimidating and you don't see the changes as quickly even though you are working your *kitten* off. So it can seem really pointless.

    but regardless what everyone around you has said KEEP IT UP! eventually they will notice the hard work you have put in and then you can tell them to kiss yours and YOU will feel better and be able to relish in the huge accomplishment you have made. :smile:
  • melly0920
    melly0920 Posts: 2 Member
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    I am very proud of you! You did great! Please do tell us how we can lose 50lbs since September. Do not worry about those others, keep focusing on your end goal.
  • ravenchick
    ravenchick Posts: 345 Member
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    I started about the same weight as you and it wasn't until I had lost about 65 or 70 pounds that anyone even noticed. You have to be so proud of yourself for losing 50 pounds!! Don't let the haters get the best of you. Make them eat their words when you lose another 50. Just push yourself harder to keep losing. Don't let them win! Congratulations on losing the first 50. I know how hard it can be. You're stronger than your haters. So keep doing what you're doing and they will be the ones to feel dumb in the end. :wink:

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