I don't "look" like I lost 50 lbs, so no one believed me.
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Wow! 50 pounds is an awesome loss! Congratulations! There will be nasty people everywhere you go, they are jealous they can't do it. You should be very proud of what you have achieved. Ignore them and keep going, you are doing a fantastic job!
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Just tell them it's more obvious when you're naked.
Then go high-five yourself for being awesome.
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My sympathies. It's hard enough to lose the weight in the first place, without then having people doubt that you've done it, and say so to your face. Not a good feeling, I know, and one that's almost guaranteed to be a trigger for an emotional eater (that's me, and sounds like it's probably you, too, along with a lot of other people here on MFP).
As much as I hate the cliche, you do have to decide that other people (in general) aren't important to your weight-loss, and find a way to make yourself believe it. We all like, and need, reinforcement - perhaps those of us in entertainment, more so than anyone else, need, in fact, subconsciously expect, applause when we've done well - but maybe the public and journalists aren't the most likely or reliable way to get that. Who else can be your cheerleaders? Parents, siblings, friends? Your agent? MFP folk?
The things that seem to have (mostly) curbed my bingeing are:
Logging my food - seeing just how many calories are in the cupcake/bag of crisps/tub of icecream/giant Toblerone/huge bowl of pasta...and how many hours of exercise it would take me to burn it off. A few shocks along the way!
Exercise itself - I use my commute home as my main exercise, walking a brisk 45-50 minutes, usually with music, and enjoying the changing seasons and scenery - it's actually become a pleasure. That may not work for you, depending on your schedule and where work/home are in relation to each other, but finding some form of endorphin-releasing activity every day, or just about, is likely to help with the emotional element of your day-to-day eating. Your day of activity sounds like fun, but could it be spread out at all over the week?
Not being too restrictive - I eat more or less what I want, and I don't fret if I'm a few hundred over one day - it almost always balances out over the week. Some of my choices may have changed, but I can just about guarantee that there will be some chocolate or other sweet treat worked into pretty much every day. I also don't do 'diet' anything - my foods are mostly fresh, made with good ingredients, but luxurious. I could never exist on a diet of baked chicken breast and vegetables - not for my tastebuds or my schedule!
Finally, a little bit of food-related therapy. Sounds a bit flaky, maybe, but I do think that talking about the real reasons I got so overweight to start with, with a qualified therapist specialising in eating issues, laid the foundations to make permanent changes this time around. It took almost another year to get the changes started, but talking and thinking about the why's and what's and what I was/am afraid of (a lifetime of the 'security' of being the fat kid/girl is hard to let go of, sometimes) got my mind in the right place to start with. I've been at this now for a little over a year, which is longer than any previous effort has ever lasted, and I think that's why.
As for the bouncing back... To be honest, for me it's a combination of my rationale for doing this in the first place - work, men, nicer clothes possibilities, and reminding myself of how good I felt when I saw the first stone lost, then the second, then the third. How I rejoiced when I saw my collar-bones in a photo for the first time! How much fun I have buying new clothes, even if, after 50+lbs lost, they are only one size smaller. How happy I am to see my ever-slimmer face in the mirror every morning (that seems to be the fastest-slimming part of my body - wish my stomach would get the hint!), rather than hiding from my own reflection. I accept that I'll never be petite - I'm not built that way - but I also believe that I can be a svelte, curvy, statuesque goddess, if I put my mind to it. Yes, my reasons are mostly external, but the thing that really keeps me getting back up on the wagon (and believe me, I've fallen off big style a few times in the last 15 months!) is remembering how proud I felt of myself in each of those moments.
The very best of luck to you. We all have to find our own ways to do this - the things that work for us - but I hope some of the ideas mentioned above will be helpful :flowerforyou:
Edited to add: As others have said, people are very bad at understanding how much a given weight actually is, or what it looks like, except in comparison to their own experience. For someone who has never weighed over 200lbs, 'say, a 50lb loss sounds more dramatic than it looks on someone who weighs a lot more than they do. 50lbs IS a lot, but it doesn't look the same on you, or me, as it would on someone who started off a lot lighter than either of us. It doesn't help the mean-natured sniping, but it might help to understand why they don't understand, if you see what I mean!0 -
Just tell them it's more obvious when you're naked.
Then go high-five yourself for being awesome.
Better yet, send them a naked picture of yourself! that'll show em!0 -
You feel like crap because of what other people said to you? Tell you what...go to the nearest grocery store and pick up a 25-50 pound bag of dog food you can find and carry it around while you do your shopping. I guarantee that you'll feel the success you made thus far before you get to the check out (I did that with just a 5-pound bag of sugar).
As far as the naysayers? Remember the old saying from elementary school? "Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." Their words can't hurt you unless you CHOOSE to let them. CHOOSE to be proud of yourself and to surround yourself with others who are proud with - and of - you! Use positive self-talk! I bet you're wearing some smaller sized clothing...Success! I bet you're consuming less calories...Success! I bet you're getting in some sort of exercise...Success! I bet you're doing something about your helath that any of those naysayers are not...Success!
Keep up the good work! All of here at MFP are PROUD of you! :flowerforyou:0 -
The problem is you shouldn't care what people think. As long as you know you've lost 50 pounds, that is all that matters. You shouldn't let a bunch of idiots sabotage your weight loss! Now you are back at square one for caring about what others think!0
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WHO CARES! You are healthier. That is the ONLY THING that matters. Redefine your priorities. Oh, and congratulations.0
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Congrats on your weight loss.
I don't know you personally but I think you need counseling to help you 'cope' with people. Why even care what THEY think? You're doing this for you, not them, right? Ignore them, don't let them get to you and if you can't do that, get help.0 -
I have lost 22 lbs since Oct 2, 2012. And almost 8 inches. And let me tell you it shows I'm 258 now was 280. People can be rotten. I have seen some horrible comments made to people and can't believe what I'm reading. Try not to go on too many of these post or topics. Block or delete some of these people if there is a way.
Just don't forget. 50 pounds is a lot on ANYONE and is great. Also some people can lose more faster when they are heavy. I'm heavy. Hold your head up, take your heart off your sleeve and move forward. In fact add me as a friend. That's what were here for SUPPORT!!!!0 -
The first problem that you have is actually caring what idiots have to say about your success. You are wonderful and 50lbs is hard to notice in some aspects, but don't you for a second let any of these people steal your success away. If you post your pictures to share your success, understand that people are idiots and you have to take what you felt at the moment when you stepped on the scale and realized you were 50lbs lighter. Take those emotions and wear them proud.
I can tell that you are emotional which may be attributing to your weight gaine.. Trust me, I know.. I am high anxiety, depressed and many other things. I also binge and I am a true yo-yo dieter. I have lost weight probably 6 times and I've gained it back each time. You are not alone. No one has ever noticed my weight loss, but I gave up trying to please the masses. This weightloss is for you! Yes, it is nice when people notice, but just let them notice. In due time you will shock the world. You are beautiful inside and out your only problem is still having faith in idiot human beings. Once you get pass that you will be right at your goals.0 -
50 pounds is awesome! Screw them. I am like you....I started out at a really high weight, and now after 60 pounds people are like "omg, you look good"....but are shocked that I've lost 60 pounds because thin people assume that losing that much weight would turn me into a slim person, not a still overweight-but-on-my-way-to-greatness person.
You are still down 30. Refocus, get through the holidays without any more gains, and get your mojo back!0 -
You've got this. You had a setback, but you've really got this. I too am in the position where a 50lbs loss will not be noticeable, but you know what? It's 50 effin' pounds! That's more than my nephew weighs! And losing that much, yeah sure it isn't noticeable on the outside but your heart sure thanked you. And your circulatory system, and your lymphatic system and I could go on and on.
And yes, you're now 30lbs lighter than you were at your starting weight which is awesome! For those of us starting out, it's great to see those who have lost even that much because it shows us that it is possible.
You CAN do this, and when (not if, but when) you do this, thank yourself for doing it - you are most important to YOU.
Namaste xo0 -
I am sorry to hear about the mean things people have said to you and how they've made you feel. I am more sorry that you've let their opinions get you down. No one can make you feel bad unless you let them. I'm with everyone that's said that 50LB is absolutely a GREAT accomplishment no matter what your starting weight was.
If you feel great, and you see your improvement, nothing or no one else should matter. At the end of the day, you should do this for yourself and no one else! People will always be mean, don't let that stop you from reaching your goal. I hope you can find your way back soon!0 -
People love to put the successes of others down.. Why? To make themselves feel better.. It truly is a crappy world we live in :-(
Don't listen to anyone else, their opinions are biased against you and you will never be happy putting up with that crap.
-1/4 of the way is incredible!
Good luck xox0 -
I have had a horrible month.
I was so very proud of myself for losing 50 pounds, I never imagined that possible, I had all these ugly pants in my closet that no longer fit me and it felt GREAT.
So I did a stupid thing. I bragged about my success. And then I went out to publicize my new film.
And because I went from 320 to 280, not 150 to 100, I got these responses from journalists and fans:
"Oh my god, she's still fat, I thought she supposedly had some big weight loss?"
"Sweetalker dear, you look good! You lost what, five pounds?"
"You've been on the diet for how long? Three months, oh my it doesn't look like it's working, let me tell you what you must be doing wrong"
"Fifty pounds? She lost fifty pounds? HA HA HA HA HA HA HA what a liar"
It pushed me back, waaaaay back. I am a binger, and I ate enough to gain 20 pounds in 30 days. I made myself sick. All those ugly pants fit me again. I'm back to not being able to keep food in the refrigerator again, because it WILL get eaten before morning, no matter what it is. I won't even be able to taste it. Just, down it goes.
So if anyone here has suffered a major setback -- what caused it, and how did you "snap back"?
And what do I tell the (more polite) people who don't seem to understand that I won't look "thin" for another 80kg or so, BUT I FRIKKIN LOST FIFTY POUNDS AND I DESERVE RESPECT FOR IT?
That is right, you do deserve repect. not just for loosing weight ( which congratulations by the way) but for being a human being. Peole are so freakin rude. they see the outside, but dont realise there is an actual sould in side that body, with real feelings. Keep up the good work, you can only make yourself happy.0 -
I've also concluded it isn't a good idea to tell anyone that I'm on a diet, let alone that I've lost anything. So many people either want to sabotage you, or turn into the diet police ("Oh, is cheesecake on your diet?") MAYBE they mean to be helpful but rarely are.
That's why I like the anonymity of MFP.
I've only lost 12 so far, many more to go, so you should be proud of yourself for having lost 30. You're way ahead of me. My 12 pounds hasn't made a dent so far. I haven't even noticed clothes fitting better or anything. It's going to be a tough long slog.0 -
Not everyone's MFP join date is the day they started losing weight.I'm still curious as to how you lost the weight.
How
Did
You
Do
It????
Yeah, my ticker says 9 pounds lost, but I lost 5 pounds before joining and actually only lost 4 pounds during the first four months on mfp (a pound a month). Anyway, weight loss is not my goal. Plus some people join, then leave, then rejoin (making the start date be different).
Congrats OP, keep up the good work!0 -
you should be proud for every single pound lost. It's a pound closer to your goal no matter how big or small your goal is. I think 50lbs is fantastic!
I am probably the worst person for "going on a diet" and sharing it with every one I know!! Then in a few months I am not doing it because it's "too hard" or whatever excuse I've allowed to work and people start saying "weren't you on a diet? Did you even lose any weight? Your diet is obviously not working you should try something else" and I get upset.
Obviously my story is alittle different because I quit, but you didn't you have lost weight! This time around I am not really telling anyone. My husband knows I want to eat healthier because I am cooking healthier foods otherwise my lips are sealed! If they notice or comment then I will respond, but in this world everyone is a critic whether their opinion is warranted or not.
Congrats again!0 -
I am a binger as well, and it doesnt take much for me to resort to old ways. My last binge was simply because I really liked what I cooked...so I ate more and more really fast until I couldn't anymore. I rebounded from that about two days later, because thats not EVER goign to get me to my goal. And my goal is GOING to be reached! And the same is true for you. I don't care how far you have to go...Fifty lbs. is an AMAZING loss!! Congrats and keep your eyes on the prize!0
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I've learned that there are people who don't want to see you slimmer than they are especially if they are not at their best weight. It's a mind over matter thing and you really have to loose the weight for yourself. Keep pushing through because in the end you will have the last laugh! Loosing 50 lbs is a great thing. While some people physically won't notice it's more because they probably didn't really pay attention to your weight in the first place. They are also probably one-dimensional, meaning to them "big is big" and "small is small".0
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People are going to hate or be jealous of what they don't understand. You have done an amazing job of losing 50lbs!!!!!!!!!! So what if they think otherwise? Don't let them define you!!!!!!!!!!!!0 -
you can't let your feelings hinge on what a bunch of strangers think. The masses are cruel, mob rule is callous and unforgiving, if you put yourself out there, expect the harshest judgement you can think of, then make it worse.
Allow those you love to be your real support, all the others out there should be tiny little marshmallow balls thrown at you, if you like them, have a few (but not to many) and enjoy, if you don't like them, let them bounce off you; because their commentary is only as important as you let it be.
Precisely!
“Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch0 -
You are AMAZING!!! 50 pounds is an ENORMOUS achievement! And, like you said, 30 pounds is STILL better than where you started! People are just dumb and never think before they open their big dumb mouths. Do your thing and dont even bother with them. Don't let their fear of your success stand in your way. I think you just found out who your REAL friends are. Nice to find out this early in the game, eh?
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I went from 165 to 135 and size 14 pants to size 6 in four months. Not one single person has commented other than my husband and an employee. Not even my daughter said anything at Thanksgiving. To give everyone credit, they didn't comment when I was fat. Now I try to notice and compliment if someone has lost weight. What I don't want to do is what my former mother inlaw used to do. She would ask me every time she saw me if I had lost weight. When I said no, she would say that she remembered me much heavier. NOT a compliment. She was VERY rotund.0
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Not everyone's MFP join date is the day they started losing weight.I'm still curious as to how you lost the weight.
How
Did
You
Do
It????
Very true! I started my lifestlye change two weeks before I found MFP but wanted to be able to see ALL my progress on MFP so I did my start weight the first day and the second day I weighed in with my two week loss. I like to be able to see my total progress all at once.0 -
I went from 165 to 135 and size 14 pants to size 6 in four months. Not one single person has commented other than my husband and an employee. Not even my daughter said anything at Thanksgiving. To give everyone credit, they didn't comment when I was fat. Now I try to notice and compliment if someone has lost weight. What I don't want to do is what my former mother inlaw used to do. She would ask me every time she saw me if I had lost weight. When I said no, she would say that she remembered me much heavier. NOT a compliment. She was VERY rotund.
Don't feel bad about people not commenting, especially people at work. Some people simply look at the inner person and truly don't notice the outer person.Others don't want to comment on weight loss since it implies you didn't look good or weren't worthy before you lost weight.0 -
i mean no harm but everyone is saying "who cares what people think" but the truth of the matter is we do care. we don't want to gawked at, ridiculed, laughed at or any of that. we shouldn't care but we do i think it's absolutely amazing that she's lost 50lb what she should have said is believe or not but i have lost 50lbs rather you can see it or not.0
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You HAVE to do this for yourself! Impress yourself because you are the one who is doing this thing! I sympathize that you have to face people in the media. I can't imagine how hard that has got to be!
I had a similar situation when my husband didn't notice and even scoffed that I had lost 30 lbs. I let it totally derail me and I gained 50 to punish him. (Pretty dumb, I know.) I used to blame him for sabotaging me, but I have since realized that I was the one who sabotaged myself by reacting stupidly. This time around, I let his jerky statement, "Don't get rid of your fat clothes," inspire me to SHOW him. Thanks honey, for the inspiration!
Make a list of your NSV's. Post them on your bedroom mirror. Get a T-shirt that celebrates every milestone. Celebrate here where everyone will be cheering your achievements. These things will happen. People will say mean, thoughtless things. Love yourself and take care of yourself.
Good luck! :flowerforyou:0 -
It's tough. FWIW - people don't notice weight changes unless they are really dramatic. I've gone from 240 to 198 (I am 5'11") since I last saw my family and no one said a word. Honestly, I don't think they ever thought about my weight as much as I do, so it makes sense now.
What I think about your situation - people are jerks and, because you are in the entertainment industry, your body is considered fair game for public comment. People are making rude comments about you, and they are also making rude comments about how some singer/model/actress is "fat" because she gained five pounds after a breakup. It's incredibly mean and that is one reason I don't look at People or any of those celebrity magazines.
People also want a dramatic change, thanks to shows like Biggest Loser and whatnot. They want you to look like a gastric bypass patient who has dropped 200 pounds before returning to the public eye. So when you advertise your weight loss, they expect something incredibly unrealistic.
Continue working on making changes for yourself. It sounds like for you, getting your binge eating under control has been really important and you've had success. Once you have some more success, start focusing on the quality of what you're eating. Add some healthier foods, foods that will fuel your body the way it deserves! Focus on adopting a healthier lifestyle - exercise throughout the week for fun and stress relief, not just to balance out what you ate. One step at a time. Feel free to add me if you'd like support. Take care!0
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