I don't "look" like I lost 50 lbs, so no one believed me.

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  • PaleoPath4Lyfe
    PaleoPath4Lyfe Posts: 3,161 Member
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    First, let me say that 50 lbs is a great achievement, no matter what your starting point is. You should feel great about that. So celebrate your successes, and take your setbacks as learning experiences and move on from them.

    That being said, there's some ugly truths you need to recognize. About 10% of people will genuinely care about your weight loss and be supportive. 40% will hate you for it, or be jealous of you, and the other 50% could care less unless there is something in it for them.
    That's the reality.

    I don't know you, and as such, I can't speak to your mental state or capacity, but I can say this, I've been losing weight, or mentoring others for a while now, and one thing I can say is that you need to worry about you, you can't let your feelings hinge on what a bunch of strangers think. The masses are cruel, mob rule is callous and unforgiving, if you put yourself out there, expect the harshest judgement you can think of, then make it worse.

    Allow those you love to be your real support, all the others out there should be tiny little marshmallow balls thrown at you, if you like them, have a few (but not to many) and enjoy, if you don't like them, let them bounce off you; because their commentary is only as important as you let it be.

    Continue your journey undaunted by the comments of fools, for only a fool would allow others to rule their though.

    Best luck

    -Banks

    This is so true..............
  • sylviatx
    sylviatx Posts: 156 Member
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    Well, I say, forget about the 50. You have lost THIRTY POUNDS which is awesome and amazing and a wonderful accomplishment. I wish I knew how to post a picture but I don't, so here's a link to a picture of a THIRTY POUND BASS somebody caught (scroll down to the Sept 5th guy): http://www.adventurecharters.org/2009.htm
    Dang. That's a lot of extra weight, and you aren't carrying it around every day anymore! Congratulations!

    It's also twice as much weight as I have lost. And I'm really proud of my little 15 lbs!

    It must be very hard being in the public eye, having reviewers who write snarky things about you and then feeling blindsided. I can't quite imagine how that would feel. But I'm like some of the others here, you have to just forget about them. They don't matter. YOU matter.

    You can do this. Set your sights high and ignore the peanut gallery.
  • Lee_louh
    Lee_louh Posts: 37 Member
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    Look to MFP. We support you, we are proud of you, yes some of us will envy you, but we don't belittle your AMAZING success out of petty jealousy.
    And above all else, congratulations. You earned that weight loss.
    Rock that body! You've lost the same weight as 200 sticks of butter!!!
  • DragonflyF15
    DragonflyF15 Posts: 437 Member
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    I just read this and thought of you: Never judge yourself through other people's eyes! >hugz<
  • LisaLouisiana
    LisaLouisiana Posts: 145 Member
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    I work in the same industry and you know we work with a lot of people that think they're sharks. You do what you need to do for you to be healthy and blow them off. I don't understand how some people get off being mean. You know they're being mean, so just ignore them and put your energy into taking care of yourself. (((HUGS)))
  • Ejourneys
    Ejourneys Posts: 1,603 Member
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    First, give yourself credit for all the hard work you've done, period. And give yourself credit for reaching out and allowing yourself to be vulnerable here. I imagine it can't be easy while you're living in a fishbowl that runs so heavily on public image -- especially one where craft and talent can be forced aside by which wheel squeaks the loudest.

    The world is full of "shoulds" as it is. Make sure that you have some time to separate yourself from that. Find that space where you are true to yourself beyond all the clamoring from outside. The more that you can do that, the less what others say will matter and the more you'll be able to focus on what you need and on what nourishes your soul.

    You ask about setbacks. I've been a caregiver for 10+ years. Working multiple shifts to support us and deep-sixing myself in a dead-end job was one major source of stress. Another was a medical nightmare that lasted for about three years, leading up to my caree's latest and most definitive diagnosis (with misdiagnoses along the way).

    What helped me the most was finding support and validation for what I was going through. So much gets focused on the caree that caregivers often get lost in the shuffle. I had to learn to trust myself again and separate from all the actual and perceived "shoulds" around me. It's hard to do when one is so conditioned to rely on the expertise of others.

    Keep following your bliss. Keep doing what is right for YOU. Hurtful words hurt even if your skin is already thick; the trick is to see them for the smoke and mirrors they are. Your journalists and fans are bit players; they react to what they see on the surface. The you that's on stage for them is part of the act. The real you is what gives you your talent and your strength. Keep focusing on that and let the other lines be just lines.
  • TamiMcP
    TamiMcP Posts: 3
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    NEVER ever let other people define who you are. Stay strong in the fight against unhealthy practices!
  • WinnerVictorious
    WinnerVictorious Posts: 4,735 Member
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    Thanks guys, and it just occurred to me that at least I'm at a better starting point than I was when I first began this journey, I'm still down 30 pounds from what I was when I first started MFP.

    I've just been entirely too embarrassed to even try to keep track of what I ate in November. It was really, really bad.

    (And yes I noticed the math mistake in my original post, I got down to 270, now back up to 290 again, give or take a pound depending on time of day.)

    it's really simple... are you losing weight for yourself or for somebody else. if the answer is yourself (as i suspect it is), then who cares what other people think, notice, or say? 320lbs to 270lbs is a 50lb drop that only people who have been there will notice. don't fret if the entertainment media doesn't see it. when you go from 220lbs to 170lbs, they'll see it too.

    get back on track. log what you're eating. the logging helps keep you from slipping back. if you want support, seek it here. almost everyone here understand the little victories you are achieving because most of us have been in your shoes or are still in your shoes.

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