Guys, it is never okay to...

I get what you're saying. Fat isn't a bad word though. Fat is a body type. Using that word as a weapon is what's not okay.

I think what you mean is build.. Fat isn't genetic, nor is it a body type. It's influenced by what you eat and/or medical conditions.

Fat is as genetic as tall.

no. being "fat" is not genetic. It is over eating.

Science disagrees with you.

they walk among us.

more so this morning than usual it appears.

What, people who actually bother to do their research?

i thought it was a predisposition from genes. of course theres a billion other things that goes into being gaining a lot of weight. but it plays a part

To those discussing if Fat is genetic or not please read
http://news.discovery.com/human/exercise-overpowers-influence-of-fat-genes-121811.html
And please read it completely, specially the part where it says the "fat gene" is a gene where it is MORE LIKELY for someone with a overweight family to be overweight by their 20s, but this is not 100% garanteed, as in, we still have the choice to get off the couch and work our guts off, in other words, Fat is not actually genetic, so those who are saying "science will disagree with you" needs to look into science.

Sorry I am not in a good mood today and saw that science comment as a bully, so I am pointing you out.

Also about the REAL topic here, about not calling a girl fat.
I agree, teasing is horrible when it comes to weight, and women do not be sexist, a guy with a weight problem deals with the same stuff as you do, society just forces us to be less sensitive about those subjects (I express myself freely if I get made fun of to much). BUT, every once in a while, specially with the RIGHT significant other, it should be ok to JOKE (not tease) about anything and everything (except the death of love ones), this allows a lighthearted feeling over it all.
Never tease or joke about weight when it is obvious a sensitive time (lady troubles or not, sensitive moments come at all times to all genders)
Never tease or joke about weight when a work is about to be had, or just happened, never make fun as a casual thing like "hey fatty, what we doing today?", and a few more that most of you can figure out.

But let us say one (male or female, no difference) JUST FINISHED COMPLAINING ABOUT the weight issue, then they go to McDonalds and want to order like, well it is McDonalds order anything at all, and then they slip and fall, or they could not squeeze between chairs or something like that, with all those situations involved how do you not say something like "Haa Haa (like from simpsons), that is what you get." or something like that.

Just saying at times, specially if both are into the mentality of joking about it, have a good laugh at the fat, that way the topic is not just to serious and depressing.

But if you have told your man not to joke about it and he keeps doing it, then leave him, plain and simple.

Dear lord the bad relationships and relationship advice around here.

Your partner repeatedly pointing out he thinks your fat is unacceptable or teasing about a nonexistent problem of being fat is disqualifying himself as partner and does not deserve your loyalty or efforts.

Don't ask a question if you know you won't like the answer.

Finding their weak place and exploiting it as get back won't improve a relationship. If you're resorting to that you should just leave. There's at least some honor in that.

Best answer here

My fiance had a rating scale of body sizes on women.
1) anorexic
2) athletic
3) average
4) cuvy/has meat on her (2 and 4 are his preference. I happen to be the 4)
5) dude.. girl, you got FAT (not in those terms, but that's what a girl will hear)

I, like an idiot, told him to be honest about the day I started getting too big (nearing 5). Being in a REALLLLYYY ****ing depressed mood for about a week, I looked at him and said, "I'm a 5 aren't i?"
His response came slowly and I knew it was going to be bad.. He had that look of "Don't make me say it." Well.. he said it... "I'm sorry babe, but you are getting there."

I sobbed for 2 hours, ignoring him completely, or as much as I can, even though he was near/in tears for making me feel so bad. I had never felt so ashamed and hurt and all around ****ty EVER. Really sucks when the person you love pretty much is overly honest....

That is the douchiest thing I've ever heard.

My husband has NEVER said anything about my weight fluctuations. He thinks I'm beautiful no matter what size. Likewise...I always find him attractive.

People are so superficial.

Wait....she asked the question...she asked him to be honest.....where should the blame lie? Don't ask a question if you don't want the answer. You can love someone unconditionally but think they are getting out of shape.....

I get what you're saying. Fat isn't a bad word though. Fat is a body type. Using that word as a weapon is what's not okay.

fat is not a body "type"

fat is a body with too much fat on it

still....it is lame for a SO to make fun of you

"My pain may be the reason for somebody's laugh, but my laugh must never be the reason for somebody's pain"
Charlie Chaplin

Fat is a body type just like thin is a body type or muscular is a body type. Everyone has different definitions of "too much" fat, so that does not accurately describe what being fat is.

I disagree. No body is meant to be fat. When you get fat, your body "type" does not change. Your body type (endo, ecto or meso) will always be one of those three. Added fat does not change that

It doesn't matter whether you believe a body is "meant to be" fat or not, no body is "meant to be" disabled, but some people just are. There is nothing wrong with either.
Fat is a type of body. Just like thin is a type of body.

^^This is silly. While no one is 'meant' to be disabled, if someone could grow back a limb or their eyesight with a little hard work and dedication. I'm pretty sure that they would jump on the chance.

Also, for 'fat' being genetic. That is incorrect. People can be more genetically PRONE to become obese. But being fat in and of itself is NOT a genetic certainty.

It's funny you should mention the confidence. I weigh 124 lbs now and my goal is 120. I suffer from lack of confidence is so many different ways. I didn't lose any weight this week and I'm upset about it. Once I set a goal I don't do well with any set backs. As for you boyfriend, maybe you could write him a letter and then drop the subject. He might take you seriously if you have it in writing.

Guys, it is never okay to joke about your girlfriend's weight or body! I don't care if she is 200 lbs or 100 lbs! Just don't do it.

It is not funny to call a fat girl fat, and it is equally NOT FUNNY to call a skinny girl fat! My boyfriend thinks it is hilarious to tease me for being fat (because I am not), and I have to keep telling him he can't joke with me like that because it totally messes with my head! Not funny! Not funny! Not funny! Even the most confident woman is not THAT confident.

Rant complete.

3 suggestions:

1. Slap him in the face every time he calls you fat.

2. Talk to him about how his name-calling isn't funny or motivating and it pisses you off.

3. Find out what he's insecure about and take digs at it.

1. Lol. I would never slap him in the face, but we spar together all the time, so I do get to punch him regularly.

2. I have told him why it isn't funny: I litterally am unable to see what I look like. I know that I am not fat, but if he keeps joking about it, it makes me start to believe it, which is really dangerous for me because I did had an eating disorder when I was young, and it took me a long time to develop any kind of confidence about my body.

3. I know what he's insecure about... but I would never poke fun at a man's penis.

I think a lot of people missed the point. I am not fat. I am 5'7" and 128 and very athletic. He's not teasing me about it because he thinks I'm fat or he doesn't like my weight or body. He's teasing me about it because he likes to press my buttons and just doesn't get it.

I caught that and his behavior, particularly given the danger it poses for you, but also simply because you have asked him to stop and he has not, makes him a ****ty partner and unworthy of your time.

Find someone who will treat you well. You deserve it. And the advice you are responding to is terrible (with the exception of #2). If anyone feels that that advice is appropriate to their relationship, their relationship is inappropriate and should end.

Guys, it is never okay to joke about your girlfriend's weight or body! I don't care if she is 200 lbs or 100 lbs! Just don't do it.

It is not funny to call a fat girl fat, and it is equally NOT FUNNY to call a skinny girl fat! My boyfriend thinks it is hilarious to tease me for being fat (because I am not), and I have to keep telling him he can't joke with me like that because it totally messes with my head! Not funny! Not funny! Not funny! Even the most confident woman is not THAT confident.

Rant complete.

Since no-one else used the line yet, I will do so....

Just break up.

Have you talked to your boyfriend and put the teasing into terms he can get, like penis size or something? I'm NOT saying to actually tease him about it. But even though you and he both know it's fine, teasing about it would probably cause him GREAT distress and anger. He would start to wonder if you really thought that way, and were softening it through jokes, even though logically knowing that's wrong.

Maybe he really doesn't get HOW deep of an issue this is. Guys are like that sometimes... really meaning no harm, but still thoughtless.

My fiance had a rating scale of body sizes on women.
1) anorexic
2) athletic
3) average
4) cuvy/has meat on her (2 and 4 are his preference. I happen to be the 4)
5) dude.. girl, you got FAT (not in those terms, but that's what a girl will hear)

I, like an idiot, told him to be honest about the day I started getting too big (nearing 5). Being in a REALLLLYYY ****ing depressed mood for about a week, I looked at him and said, "I'm a 5 aren't i?"
His response came slowly and I knew it was going to be bad.. He had that look of "Don't make me say it." Well.. he said it... "I'm sorry babe, but you are getting there."

I sobbed for 2 hours, ignoring him completely, or as much as I can, even though he was near/in tears for making me feel so bad. I had never felt so ashamed and hurt and all around ****ty EVER. Really sucks when the person you love pretty much is overly honest....

I believe you already knew the answer before you asked the question. It was just hearing it out loud that made you believe it and that hurt your feelings. Honestly, what could he have said, THAT WAS HONEST, to avoid hurting your feelings. It looks like you are trying to lose 90 pounds. If that is correct than you were significantly over weight. I am not saying that he or any of these men couldn't find a kinder way to say it, but if you ask someone if you look attractive, healthy, skinny....whatever the question is and they answer you honestly and not in a mean way, how can you be angry with them. Please don't mistake what I mean here, i am not trying to stick up for anyone who is mean or teases. I am a very honest person and I value someone's opinion who will tell me the truth in matter how bad it is so much more than someone who just says what they think I want to hear.

I knew the answer, but it's hard hearing it from someone whose opinion I value more than anyone else in the world. *side note.. WHAT S**T STORM DID I CREATE ON HERE!? GOOD LORD!*
I know I'm fat. I worked in fast food to support myself because it was the only job that I could find at the time and I couldn't, even though I tried, leave. I am now in a different job, different settings, and am losing relatively decently. I know what I did and it was enought to scare me. I love him dearly for being honest, but I just wanted to throw out a real example, not have a crucification match over whether my fiance is a jerk or I'm a heifer.

Also, I sort of just picked a post to reply to. This one was it. Also, I value your honesty as well and took no hard feelings. I know what I've done to myself. I'm obviously on here to fix it.