Society's view on food
Replies
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If you're obese and you don't think people are judging you then you're delusional. They may not say it to your face or let it be known but from being on the other side I can tell you that you are being judged. May or may not be right but it's happening. Just the same as obese people are looking at thin people and judging their eating habits. It's the way life works!
That doesn't make it okay!
War happens, crime happens, and hatred of one another exists in humanity, but does that make it okay? Should we teach our children to behave and think negatively? I think not! Stop thinking about everyone else and focus on yourself and your loved ones! 0 -
We should teach our children good eating habits.0
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That statement was mean....And speaks volumes about your character, or lack there of
I disagree with this. It isn't mean. It's a true statement.0 -
I'm not going to judge either way, but it's possible that the 'hugely obese' woman was bringing a plate of goodies back to share with a number of coworkers who didn't have a chance to go down for the treat. She might also be on a weight loss journey herself, and she's just going to enjoy a single treat from the plate.
I study food an culture as a career- so this question has always interested me.
I think most of the folks here are offended, not necessarily by what you said, but how you said it?0 -
The people who are reacting strongly to this post are the ones, like me, who have a very hard time saying no to food. We are tired of feeling guilty for being different, we are tired of fighting, and we are tired of having to be strong in the face of people we know, love, and care about making us feel like we are HORRIBLE for making choices about our diet that MIGHT upset our friends and family, because of the way THEY eat.
Amen to this right here. ^0 -
No, really... I don't get it. I've been the skinny person, the fit person, the moderately chubby person, in social and professional environments were food was offered.
If I wanted some, I took it. If I didn't want it, I didn't. I never felt any pressure to eat or not eat any certain foods. I never felt any pressure to justify my actions.
Then again, I also didn't have any urge to smoke or drink as a kid. Maybe my mama just taught me right when it comes to peer pressure. :laugh:0 -
I have just joined this web site, and thought I would look at the forums. The replies and the initial post make me not want to join any more of these discussions. Very unsupportive and unhelpful in my opinion.0
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We should teach our children good eating habits.
Darn right we should! I wish I would have been taught them by my own parents. Unfortunately my mother was always overweight and there was always too much junk food in the house to get our hands on as kids. But simply because I am obese now (and yes, I can admit that, and calling someone as such in and of itself is not insulting if it's true), doesn't mean that I should never be allowed to have a day of trashy eating or never eat another doughnut, in the office or otherwise. You say society's view on food is skewed, but isn't it ****ed-up that skinny people with high metabolisms can eat whatever they like, but obese people who have had physical or mental medical conditions, life tragedies or many children get treated like dirt whenever they reach for the sugar, salt or fat? Like an earlier commenter said, for all you know that woman could have only eaten one thing off that entire plate and shared some with everyone else. Then where are you with your negative judgements?0 -
I have just joined this web site, and thought I would look at the forums. The replies and the initial post make me not want to join any more of these discussions. Very unsupportive and unhelpful in my opinion.
Just in case anyone missed it -
this is why we are supposed to be nice to other people who have weight problems.
57 - I've found these forums to be really supportive, actually. Really supportive. It's why a thread like this got my ire so much - it's shocking to me.0 -
How about we just focus on our own stuff instead of worrying about everyone else?
Your argument is invalid.0 -
I have just joined this web site, and thought I would look at the forums. The replies and the initial post make me not want to join any more of these discussions. Very unsupportive and unhelpful in my opinion.
Honestly I'd stay away from the forums for the most part. Almost every time I browse I find at least one post that completely demotivates me, like this one. But the majority of people on here do have good intentions, at least, including OP. She's just not very good at expressing them.0 -
We should teach our children good eating habits.
As well as teach our children to be independent and not succumb to peer pressure. Someone offers you something you don't want? Say no thank you and move on.0 -
This thread was me venting. As I've stated before many times, it wasn't about this particular woman. It was a situation I encountered yesterday that put me in a foul mood, and I wanted to express my feelings.
I did say "no thank you" graciously. In my head, I was thinking something else though, good or bad.
It wasn't meant to demotivate anybody in their journey. That's the last thing I would want to do.
I'm sure people thought the same thing about me when I was overweight. I don't really care, since it was most likely the truth.
I am very much a results orientated person - for example, if you do "xxx", this will then lead to "xxx."
If you don't do "xxx," this won't lead to "xxx."
I tend to leave the emotions out of it. Obviously not everybody thinks that way.0 -
This thread was me venting. As I've stated before many times, it wasn't about this particular woman. It was a situation I encountered yesterday that put me in a foul mood, and I wanted to express my feelings.
I tend to leave the emotions out of it. Obviously not everybody thinks that way.
Those statements are rather contradictory. But I'm not trying to troll you. I know that you didn't expect to get reamed the way you did, and I've been in the same position-- pretty much no matter what you say on an Internet community, someone is going to get offended. But take this as an opportunity to reflect on the fact that most often, when we see things we don't like in others and judge them negatively, it's because we have the same things in ourselves.
You say now that you "don't really care" what others might have said or thought about you when you were overweight, but... honestly... at the time, could you say that you were completely invulnerable to hurtful things said about your weight? Or if you heard every stranger's callous judgement? No one is Iron Man, and no one isn't susceptible to moments of vulnerability. But what I like about MFP is that for the most part, positive reinforcement is the way to go.
If you really feel that pressured at your workplace, perhaps try bringing in a healthy snack to share, or get your co-workers in on some sort of healthy-food-sharing day or week or something. But thinking that you have to be "anorexic" and throw food away is not only wasteful, but it proves that in the end you'd rather give in and fake it than to stick up for your new lifestyle in the face of peer pressure. Lead by your own example, not by shaming the ones who haven't yet realized that they've only got one life to live, and they don't want to live it fat.0 -
, but isn't it ****ed-up that skinny people with high metabolisms can eat whatever they like, but obese people who have had physical or mental medical conditions, life tragedies or many children get treated like dirt whenever they reach for the sugar, salt or fat?
This is judgmental. How do you know the skinny person has some super metabolism that allows them to eat anything they want without weight gain? I get it all the time. It's no better than saying you're fat. In general most people have a metabolism within a few percentage points of each other. It's a rare individual who is out of that norm. Do you know how annoying it is to have people constantly saying "Look at you, you can eat anything"? I can't, I'm very careful and plan well for those times I want to eat more. I'm very active as well. Just because you see a thin person eating doesn't mean they do that all the time any more than assuming an obese person is sitting on their butt stuffing Ding Dong's down their throat.0 -
I get that. I also would never throw away food to put on a show.
I was disgusted though, that that though crossed my mind, when in fact I eat 2000 calories a day.
We as a society though are gluttonous, which makes it difficult for those who want to lose weight or even maintain their weight.0 -
My eating may be a tiny bit "disorded" in that I log every thing, even a packet of artificial sweetener or a stick of gum etc. but I totally get your point about pressure from obese friends/ relatives/ co-workers putting the pressure on to eat junk foods just like they do. My mom loves to accuse me of being anorexic, while I almost never eat less than 1700 calories a day.
People will passively or actively try their darnedest to drag you down to their level. Stay strong, smile and just tell yourself that you are making healthy choices for YOU and people who love you. :flowerforyou:0 -
, but isn't it ****ed-up that skinny people with high metabolisms can eat whatever they like, but obese people who have had physical or mental medical conditions, life tragedies or many children get treated like dirt whenever they reach for the sugar, salt or fat?
This is judgmental. How do you know the skinny person has some super metabolism that allows them to eat anything they want without weight gain? I get it all the time. It's no better than saying you're fat. In general most people have a metabolism within a few percentage points of each other. It's a rare individual who is out of that norm. Do you know how annoying it is to have people constantly saying "Look at you, you can eat anything"? I can't, I'm very careful and plan well for those times I want to eat more. I'm very active as well. Just because you see a thin person eating doesn't mean they do that all the time any more than assuming an obese person is sitting on their butt stuffing Ding Dong's down their throat.
Yeah I don't know many skinny people who can eat whatever they want. I have an uncle who's like that, but he's not the norm. I am finding a lot of my skinny friends eat very healthy as well, and don't over indulge.0 -
, but isn't it ****ed-up that skinny people with high metabolisms can eat whatever they like, but obese people who have had physical or mental medical conditions, life tragedies or many children get treated like dirt whenever they reach for the sugar, salt or fat?
This is judgmental. How do you know the skinny person has some super metabolism that allows them to eat anything they want without weight gain? I get it all the time. It's no better than saying you're fat. In general most people have a metabolism within a few percentage points of each other. It's a rare individual who is out of that norm. Do you know how annoying it is to have people constantly saying "Look at you, you can eat anything"? I can't, I'm very careful and plan well for those times I want to eat more. I'm very active as well. Just because you see a thin person eating doesn't mean they do that all the time any more than assuming an obese person is sitting on their butt stuffing Ding Dong's down their throat.
You're right that it's judgmental. I suppose I should have worded it better; I meant that in our society, slender and fit people don't get harshly judged for eating whatever they choose to, because "they can afford to"/ "it won't stick" / "they're skinny as a rail" / etc etc. Whereas, even if that fat woman WAS sharing that whole plate, or taking it back to her kids at home, or some other alternative rather than eating all of them herself, it's automatically assumed that not only IS she going to eat all of them herself, but that her diet must be unhealthy because she's indulging in something trashy in public. That's the part that bothered me. I personally don't look at a skinny person and think that any more than I do a fat person, because I know that no one's diet is static throughout their life.0 -
Wow, huge can of worms opened here.
Sometimes you just have to call a spade a spade. With the obesity epidemic on the rise, should we really be sugar coating things?
I work for a man who is over 400 pounds. There are mounds and mounds of treats at work on a daily basis. To him and his wife (who is a tiny thing who doesn't bring any of the stuff), that way of eating is normal. It's normal to have 3 cookies for dessert and 3 as an afternoon snack.
I get comments all the time. "You're wasting away", "You need to eat something", "One isn't going to hurt you". Truth is, I don't want to eat that stuff all the time, and now that I know how long it takes to burn off that 200 calorie treat, I'm less likely to eat it. I can say "no" most of the time, but it's hard and sometimes I do give in to show them that I eat "normally", ie: like them.
It does grate on the nerves though, day after day, so I can see OP's point.0 -
My eating may be a tiny bit "disorded" in that I log every thing, even a packet of artificial sweetener or a stick of gum etc. but I totally get your point about pressure from obese friends/ relatives/ co-workers putting the pressure on to eat junk foods just like they do. My mom loves to accuse me of being anorexic, while I almost never eat less than 1700 calories a day.
People will passively or actively try their darnedest to drag you down to their level. Stay strong, smile and just tell yourself that you are making healthy choices for YOU and people who love you. :flowerforyou:
Why not correct the disordered behaviors?0 -
I am very process oriented. That said, I'm also not a very patient person. If you try to deviate me from a process that I have in my head (my diet for example), I'm going to get annoyed.
I'm not just like this about food, but pretty much everything. That's just the way I'm wired. Ask my mom about it.0 -
I am very process oriented. That said, I'm also not a very patient person. If you try to deviate me from a process that I have in my head (my diet for example), I'm going to get annoyed.
I'm not just like this about food, but pretty much everything. That's just the way I'm wired. Ask my mom about it.
Same way here, except, I don't get annoyed. For some reason, the frustration gets turned inward on myself. I consider it a weakness if I deviate from the plan.
If I want abc, I know I have to do xyz to get it and don't stop me from it.0 -
Same here! It's a blessing and a curse...0
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I am very process oriented. That said, I'm also not a very patient person. If you try to deviate me from a process that I have in my head (my diet for example), I'm going to get annoyed.
I'm not just like this about food, but pretty much everything. That's just the way I'm wired. Ask my mom about it.
Well there you go, that's a valid acknowledgement. But there is always going to be temptation, whether it's your co-workers or billboards or the horribly wonderful aroma drifting across the street to you from some restaurant on a summer evening. But just try not to take it as You vs. The World, where The World is a devious force trying to knock you off your healthy path. We live in an age of luxury and plenty, and now rather than eat as much as we can as often as we can because food is scarce, we have to go against thousands of years of evolution and ONLY eat as much as we need to survive, and eat healthy, and somehow make those foods tantalizing enough so that we actually want to eat them instead of the bad stuff. Unfortunately food is not only a hobby and an art, it is a way of life. Some are brought into the world of food from a healthy perspective, but most of us aren't. You *should* feel good about yourself for re-routing your lifestyle (and inspiring others to do the same), but in the end, no one can be forced to comply with your processes, just like you can't be forced to comply with theirs. So you just gotta roll with it. 0 -
I didn't really read the entire topic; but I guess things are very different in Europe than they are in the USA. We don't have people taking donuts or other pastries to work to offer to coworkers and we certainly don't put 3 apple pies on our plate ...
If people take a salad for lunch the general thought would be more like; "wow you're so healthy! I wish I could be as motivated as you to stay healthy" instead of "is that all you eat?". If someone would say that they go to McDonald's or some other fast food chain every week, people would regard that person as unhealthy and definitely not on a good path.
I do also think that people can be critical of very obese people since they are just plain unhealthy and basically killing themselves. Even if you have a disease that causes you to be bigger than other people, the disease is not going to make you morbidly obese. Overweight people are fine, since I just assume that they like eating (like me), but morbidly obese people have some real issues they should take care of.0 -
, but isn't it ****ed-up that skinny people with high metabolisms can eat whatever they like, but obese people who have had physical or mental medical conditions, life tragedies or many children get treated like dirt whenever they reach for the sugar, salt or fat?
This is judgmental. How do you know the skinny person has some super metabolism that allows them to eat anything they want without weight gain? I get it all the time. It's no better than saying you're fat. In general most people have a metabolism within a few percentage points of each other. It's a rare individual who is out of that norm. Do you know how annoying it is to have people constantly saying "Look at you, you can eat anything"? I can't, I'm very careful and plan well for those times I want to eat more. I'm very active as well. Just because you see a thin person eating doesn't mean they do that all the time any more than assuming an obese person is sitting on their butt stuffing Ding Dong's down their throat.
I agree with this. I know no thin or fit person who eats like my obese friends or like I did when I was obese. They indulge sometimes just as all of us do, but they are also athletic, very active, and don't eat an entire bag of Cheetos in one sitting or a super-size McDonald's meal 2-3 times per week like I used to do.
As for the OP, I can attest that she is not a condescending b**** as some of you have tried to make her out to be. I think maybe the original post could've been worded better with a little more sensitivity, but I agree with her that it's annoying when people try to push food you've already said "no thank you" to on you and make those backhanded "you're too skinny" comments when they are obese themselves.
As for the topic at hand, a lot of people in my daily life have been trying to get me to sit on my butt and eat more the entire time I've been pregnant. They keep telling me I'm "doing too much" when I do my morning long walks and climb stairs all day long or "not eating enough" when they see me eating a sandwich and an apple for lunch when in fact I'm doing very well managing my weight now. It's just another example of how distorted American's view is on what is a "healthy" way of living and what is not, which is the topic of this post.0 -
I solved that one a long time ago....when they comment I say, "Go get me two of each and warm it up, too, Thx!" never happens, so I'm off the hook..0
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I would take one pastry eat it and thank them for bringing yummy sweets0
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this is kinda off topic, but hopeing someone may be able to help me out.....I have a ton of weight to loose, and my husband and some friends want to go out to a chinese buffett tomorrow afternoon....on my weight loss journey i eat what i want but just mind how much i eat of it, and so far that has gotten me from 236, to 210.8......my question is no matter how much or little you eat of chinese its very high in calories, so how do i keep it down on a lower scale, and how do i log a buffett menu on mfp.....?0
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