Escaping the children

"WE WANTED IT ALL AND NOW WE JUST WANT TO PEE ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I was seriously on the verge of a mental breakdown this time a couple years back! I have a now 2 and 3 year old and when I started hitting the gym and making time for myself.... everything changed. IF you don't take care of yourself, how can you expect to take care of your family!!!!

A regular sex life is one of the biggest casualties of being a mom. (Another is going to the bathroom alone, but that’s another story.) Parenting is stressful, and uses up an enormous amount of time and energy. Before long, you and your spouse need name tags to remember who each other is! And even when (or if) you do remember, you’re too tired at the end of the day to even think about sex, much less have it. But there’s hope.

The following are 10 tips to help moms “get busy” with their mates:

1.) Serve turkey to the kids at dinnertime for a week. Turkey has tryptophan, a natural sedative. Comatose kids are easier to manipulate into an early bedtime.

2.) Hire a babysitter for a few hours. But first, you must get over your fear that every applicant for the job, regardless of gender, will resemble Charles Manson on an “I forgot my Prozac” day.

3.) Get creative about the “where” of your lovemaking. Isn’t the back seat of the family van more fun that your tired old bedroom, especially when your man starts fumbling with your bra hooks like a hormonally challenged teenager? After your arrest, your mug shots will solicit fond memories when perusing the family photo album.

4.) No babysitter? Go to the movies as a family and plop the kids in the front row while you and hubby head to the balcony for some heavy breathing.

5.) During the school year, let the kids eat lunch in the cafeteria while you and hubby arrange foodless mattress picnics for two.

6.) When the kids ask why you’re going into the bathroom while your husband showers, tell them that Daddy’s afraid he’ll get sucked down the drain and needs Mommy to reassure him that he won’t. They’ll buy that.

7.) Bribe the ice cream truck driver into taking your kids along on his route for a few hours. If he’s a happily married middle-aged man with kids, he’ll enthusiastically accept your generous donation.

8.) Install a lock on the inside of your hall closet without your kids’ knowledge. Then, engage them in a game of “hide and go seek” while you and hubby grab some “alone time” beneath the winter coats.

9.) Practice home fire drills. Let the kids “escape” first, and remind them that if Mommy and Daddy don’t come outside for a while, they are simply practicing the “stop, drop, and roll” technique.

10.) Ask your kids for their help with the housework, or start a conversation about “the good old days” when you were a kid. Either way, your children will run screaming from the house and disappear for hours.

I also have a 4, 2 and 11month old. Things really only got better for me when I started loosing weight and eating more often. I got more energy to be with them all day everyday. When my hubby isn't deployed, I get to sleep in 1 day on the weekends, take a long shower, or read.
When he's not here and it's all us all day everyday, they even sneak into bed at night, I force quiet time, or walk to the park. I also make sure bed time is at 7pm so I can have a few hours of me time. If I don't get it they notice.

I totally agree about an early bedtime! My husband does grave yard shifts 5 days a week and I feel like I am on board on my own, so I have enforced a strict nap time and bed time schedule! I need it for my SANITY!

Take a hot bath.....

I tried this and my kid busted in hopped in the tub and started washing me like I was the family dog!

as long as he/she didn't poop in the tub, you're ahead of the game. :sick: