Some posts on MFP are starting to concern me

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Replies

  • mom73
    mom73 Posts: 3
    I am one that needs to lose alot of weight. But I knnow that it won't come off quick. I have finally realized I need to eat better AND exercise.

    It won't come off over night. I am happy if I lose 1 pound a week. These people that think it will come off fast...it won't trust me I have tried. If you lose alot quickly you will gain it back plus more.

    Just my 2 cents coming from a dieter that has tried everything.

    Sara
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
    I agree, I'll read about a post about someone who is eating 1200 calories a day burning 800 calories in a work out and not eating any excercise calories back (this is just an example, I am not talking about anyone in particular). I start to read the comments and am shocked to hear people telling them that a plateau is normal and maybe they should shake up their work out or some other bad advice.

    The problem is, when someone tries to educate them about eating right and doing it the healthy way, more often than not they get jumped on by others and say they are judging the person and critisizing them. :grumble:
  • CrystalT
    CrystalT Posts: 862 Member

    **I've especially noticed a disturbing trend with my friends. When someone logs in and it says they were "under their calorie goal," they receive lauds and accolades. I thought the idea was to remain within a few calories of your goal, and that eating healthily was the main objective. It seems that we're promoting calorie deficits. Honestly, when I first read that someone was below their goal, I thought, "Wow, gotcha...." - then the congratulations started in and I had to take a step back. Maybe, I'll be the first to promote a new trend, and call people out on their deficits. :laugh:

    Are others noticing this trend with the daily log, or am I merely overreacting?

    I definitely see where this could be a problem. I have thought about it too - since it doesn't let the friends know by how much is the person under. It could be by 5, 50 or by 500 cals and would have the same message displayed. That is where it would concern me. I just hope that people are eating healthy and staying close to their calorie goals.

    I rarely "complete" my day because of this. I don't think it's right that people are being praised for being under. And if you go over your caloires the message is different so *gasp* everyone knows you went over your calories!!! I think the feed is a great tool to get feedback and motivation, but I think they still need to work on it some. I think that it would be better served to have a calorie range instead of a set point of calories. Some people tend to put too much stock in getting that exact number or just below. If I'm given 1680 calories a day and I eat 1650 or 1750, it isn't a huge difference either way.
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
    Agree 100%. Literally JUST had this whole convo with my SIL yesterday. People that are going to do it the unhealthy way won't have lasting results. My co-workers are just the same with their "10lbs in 3days" diets, great in 3 days you'll be down 10lbs & then when you eat normal again you'll be up 12lbs.
    The problem is, when someone tries to educate them about eating right and doing it the healthy way, more often than not they get jumped on by others and say they are judging the person and critisizing them :grumble:
    Exactly!!!
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member
    I haven't read through all the response here yet, but I agree with you, Banks. I've all but stopped even posting on random threads because of it (I mean, not that there's anything really lost by that :laugh:). All of the "I don't care if this is healthy, but can I still lose weight doing it" posts are alarming.

    I just can't wrap my head around someone not wanting to be healthy. :ohwell:
    Really? You care more about what the scale says than being healthy? You'd rather be sickly skinny and malnourished than fit? I don't get it.
  • LittleSpy
    LittleSpy Posts: 6,754 Member

    I rarely "complete" my day because of this. I don't think it's right that people are being praised for being under.

    My understanding (thanks to JStar) is that the reason it posts you were UNDER is that people are supposed to encourage you to eat more to meet your calorie goal.

    Problem is that people missed the point.
  • snorker88
    snorker88 Posts: 179 Member


    I'm concerned about the number of posts that are being posted about "short cuts", eating under 1200 calories, etc. and I think they should be monitored closely and closed if they are going the wrong way. Like the post last week where someone was looking for foods that have a laxative effect... people kept giving her ideas! Seriously?


    Totally agree, it was concerning enough that somebody thought it was a good idea to lose weight in that way. I was alarmed when people started giving tips! :noway:
  • rtmama
    rtmama Posts: 403 Member
    Yes, I have noticed these posts as well, but I also have noticed them on other forums besides MFP. I think people are just looking for the easy way out, not understanding that quick weight loss is temporary, and that it needs to be done the healthy way.

    I guess the more popular MFP gets, the more often we'll see posts like that!
  • Supermel
    Supermel Posts: 612 Member
    Interesting topic. I know for me, I posted once when frustrated that after eating perfect (right on calorie goal) for over a week, I had not really seen a loss that week. I received fabulous advice about how our bodies work and that was just a normal part of the weight loss cycle. I know in the past when putting forth that much effort I had seen much faster results on the scale BUT i had never stuck with it as long as MFP. So while my post may have looked like i was dying for super fast unhealthy weight loss, its not the case. It was just me being suprised with the descrapancy between my effort and the scale number. The support on this site is what kept me on this awesome healthy program. I have not lost as fast as i initially had hoped, but am super pleased with progress none the less and have overcome many hurdles (some emotional eating, checking NI online before eating out, figuring out good restaurant choices, sodium, removing carbs before bed, finding some kickass recipes) and know these changes are for LIFE now. So while some may do it the 'wrong' way, you can only hope they will come back and read as much as I did, and realize what the 'right' way is, cause it does work!.

    A few people in my life have recently lost large amounts of weight quickly. It hurt a bit when they got all the attention for their weight loss and few noticed mine, when i know i'm doing it the proper way, but what do you do (i did not let it get me down and it hasn't changed anything i have done). I hope in a year I'll be the one being asked what i am doing... while that person has either figured out the right way to keep it off or has gained it back. I find short term fast loss SCARY.
  • havingitall
    havingitall Posts: 3,728 Member
    I've found there to be a lot of younger people who have real body image issues trying to lose weight when they don't need to. Also..is there an age requirement on this site? I don't know if 15 year old girls should be on here, if they have a serious weight problem it is something that they should be talking to their parents about and consulting a doctor or nutritionist to get help with. This site is a wonderful tool, so even if their parents used it in a positive way WITH their children.....because anyone under 18 years old are still children....

    My 17 year old daughter has used this site because she spoke to me about it. She saw the success I was having and wanted that for herself. Although the site does say you have to be 18, why shouldn't somebody who is younger, with theg uidance of an adult, use it?
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
    Well, this ramped up quickly, I get in my car for work with 1 reply, and get into work 45 minutes later with almost 40 replies. WoW!

    Guess I touched a sensitive spot. LOL!

    anyway, thanks all, good to know it's not just me being overly critical of MFP.

    And to you "lifers" like me (Kerri, Jeannie, Willy...et al) man, how much has MFP changed in the last year or so? Not in a bad way, but still, amazing how different the board is. I can't really describe it. The community is mostly still there, but it's very compartmentalized now. I really don't try to segment myself and I try to reach out and comment on every post that interests me, but when you step back and look, you'll see that there are some that only post on some topics and/or with certain folks, and others who will only do Blog stuff... It's interesting.

    It was far more all encompassing 2 years ago, although I guess that goes with the territory when the site becomes as popular as this one has.

    Back to the topic at hand.

    Jeannie, I agree with your earlier comments about people coming to the realization soon enough. My problem is more with people like that drawing others into their game. Things like "Biggest Loser" competitions at work are appalling to me. OK I get that they are trying, but still, really, there's gotta be SOMEONE in the office that has basic nutritional knowledge that will speak up. I know that in my office if they ever tried to start that, I'd smack it down with a vengeance! In fact, I offered (and will be starting after my vacation) a 1/2 hour lunch and learn in my office once every other week covering a different topic every session. The first one will be Basic Nutrition, the second Exercises to keep you healthy in a office environment, it'll get more specific from there. If anyone wants to offer up something like this, I can give you my notes after each one, it's a great thing to do, and you don't need to be an expert to do it, as long as people know you aren't an expert, it's fine to do this stuff, more like communal learning with a team leader than teaching.
  • Supermel
    Supermel Posts: 612 Member
    I don't see a problem with a 17 year old using it. Especailly with a mother watching over her diary and filling her in on the logistics. I do have a problem with 13 year olds using it with no guidance though!
  • Dom_m
    Dom_m Posts: 336 Member
    I actually haven't noticed this. Well I've only been here for 3 months (I didn't make a new year's resolution, I just happened to find it in Mid January) so maybe my comparison is too short. Or maybe I just don't pay close attention. But in the last 3 months, the culture everyone in this thread is trying to promote has definitely been dominant on MFP. The other perspectives generally come across as 'newbie' perspectives.

    I'm surprised that some of you are concerned about young people using this site though. Why would you want to shelter children from a really helpful and informative website? They get so much negative and misleading information shoved in their faces all the time, this is one of the few places where they might get something real, and learn to be healthy! Bring them here, I say. Beside that, there's no reason to assume because someone says they're 15 that their parent's are unaware that they're using the site.
  • darman
    darman Posts: 269
    great posts everyone and i agree with most of what everyone has said - one thing though about coming in under your calories is good i think but coming in TOO low as we all know is bad - so it would be cool if mfp showed how many cal's below the person was - then those of us that have learned from each other can lend some advice when someone comes in dresticaly under their cal goal

    it is a process as most of us have found and it takes time if it is going to last - we all know that diets don't work - changes in eating and lifestyle habits combined with consistent exercise does work and it lasts!!

    there are so many great posts for beginners but everyone doesn't read them - so much great stuff about calorie intake / eating your exercise calories / how to lose - etc. - it would be cool if there was someway that mfp could say that you have to read those posts before you can become a full member

    Blessings to all today!! We keep pushing, we keep pulling but always we keep going!!
  • dmags
    dmags Posts: 303
    I realize that this is frustrating, however, we have all been there. Maybe I should not say all, many of us have put stock into the get thin quick thing. How many of us bought the pills, ate the cabbage, or drank the drinks? We now know that the best way to do it is with lowering calories and exercise. We know that logging our food and be honest is the only way to be truly accountable. But not everyone has reached this stage. So how can you punish someone who has simply not gotten to that stage of the game yet. If you are frustrated, don't respond to the posts. I just think that we have to be patient with those that are still learning.

    As for the kids on here, I agree, but it is up to MFP to regulate that.
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
    My 17 year old daughter has used this site because she spoke to me about it. She saw the success I was having and wanted that for herself. Although the site does say you have to be 18, why shouldn't somebody who is younger, with theg uidance of an adult, use it?
    "With the guidance of an adult" is the key. Too many posts are flirting with the PG rule every day for someone under 14ish not to be watched. With adult guidance I think its a great idea.
  • Its all about learning to eat better food choices and proper portion sizes. I dropped weight pretty fast the first month but then again I was close to 300 and I am sure it was a lot of water now I am at a 1-2 pound lose a week and I feel great. This isnt a diet for me. It is a life style. Have I given up some foods? Yes but heck I enjoyed some mint Kisses the other day but I ate the serving size. I am learning I can still have things as long as I dont do what I did in the past ( like eat the whole bag of chocolates) At first I couldnt allow myself any sweets because it would set me off. Now I am content with a serving size. I also know if I have a day of bad choices I need to kick it up at the gym. It isnt going to happen over night and people who lose vast amounts of weight quickly usually put it right back on and then some
  • jadenfox
    jadenfox Posts: 43 Member
    I agree. And I just want to add that this site has taught me so much. It has taken me nearly 7 months to lose 25 pounds, but I know I can be successfull. This site is about education and friendship and it needs to stay this way.
  • questionablemethods
    questionablemethods Posts: 2,174 Member
    I think it is Dave Ramsey who says "Those convinced against their will are of the same opinion still."

    I've also seen a lot of people lately talking about wanting quick fixes and I do find it concerning. But also like so many others have said, unfortunately, they will either see the light or will fade away and go around claiming that they "have tried everything" and "just cannot lose the weight."
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    I've found there to be a lot of younger people who have real body image issues trying to lose weight when they don't need to. Also..is there an age requirement on this site? I don't know if 15 year old girls should be on here, if they have a serious weight problem it is something that they should be talking to their parents about and consulting a doctor or nutritionist to get help with. This site is a wonderful tool, so even if their parents used it in a positive way WITH their children.....because anyone under 18 years old are still children....

    My 17 year old daughter has used this site because she spoke to me about it. She saw the success I was having and wanted that for herself. Although the site does say you have to be 18, why shouldn't somebody who is younger, with theg uidance of an adult, use it?

    While 17 isn't a huge problem ... much younger than that certainly is... for one, caloric recommendations are much different for young people. They need more calories for their brains and bodies to develop. Pediatricians do not recommend restricting calories for young people who are still growing. A 13 or 15 year old on here could be setting themselves up for a lot of problems because MFP is not set up to make reasonable caloric recommendations for them. And again, as a mom, it's MY job to make sure that my child is eating the RIGHT things... no website will be able to do that.
    I have no problem with your 17 year old using it with your guidance.
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
    I realize that this is frustrating, however, we have all been there. Maybe I should not say all, many of us have put stock into the get thin quick thing. How many of us bought the pills, ate the cabbage, or drank the drinks? We now know that the best way to do it is with lowering calories and exercise. We know that logging our food and be honest is the only way to be truly accountable. But not everyone has reached this stage. So how can you punish someone who has simply not gotten to that stage of the game yet. If you are frustrated, don't respond to the posts. I just think that we have to be patient with those that are still learning.

    As for the kids on here, I agree, but it is up to MFP to regulate that.

    Now see, I disagree with this. MFP is a community. Like any community I consider it my job to offer to help those that I feel are in need of help. In the most positive and constructive way I can, I feel that it's important that we try to explain to people to the best of our ability why they have the wrong idea (in my opinion of course). I realize that almost everyone on here has done it wrong in the past (myself included), but I also know that if someone I trusted and thought was knowledgeable came to me and said, "this is why I think you should change how you're doing it..." I would have listened, and probably taken the advice. It should be noted that, I'm not forcing my views on anyone, but when you post in a public forum, you should (as I am) be prepared to take criticism. If you don't want constructive criticism, then you should post a blog about it where you can delete replies that you don't like.

    NOW

    whether they take that advice is another matter, as the saying goes, "you can lead a horse to water..." and that's fine, but again, my issue is that many (newbies) don't yet get the concept of communal support with weight loss, and some may see those posts about fast weight loss as acceptable just because they have been posted on this site. And that is bad to me.
  • XFitMojoMom
    XFitMojoMom Posts: 3,255 Member
    where else will they learn it, if not from here. Let's lead by example, provide as much information on nutrition as we can -patiently!! Or we could just ignore the dumb posts all together! :laugh:
  • arewethereyet
    arewethereyet Posts: 18,702 Member
    I think it depends on how much weight you have to lose like with me i have well over 100lbs to go so i tend to set myself higher goals than say somone with 20lbs to lose but as my weight loss continues i will ajust my goals accordingly.

    I am so proud of you!! WOOT for losing almost 30 pounds already!!:drinker:

    My concern with low calorie intake at a high weight is: Where will you go when you have 20-30 pounds to go? If your body is already used to 1200-1400 calories, you will have to add a LOT of cardio to continue losing weight. I did this. Went down to 1200 without eating my exercise cals when I started here at around 170.

    I was so happy to lose 2 pounds a week. But once I was down 10-15 pounds........my weight loss came to a screeching halt.

    So all I am saying is, keep this in mind and maybe stagger the calorie intake.

    Again your doing a wonderful job!! :drinker:
    Thanx for the input.....I started my first few weeks at 1300 cal to kick start my weight loss but then have added 50 every week, so I am now up to 1550 with the aim of going to 1600 (my suggested intake) I know this may not work for everyone but I am pleased to say for me it has so far.
    Thanx for the words of encouragement.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    Good for you! I love hearing when someone learns and gets it right! Big hugs girl........your looking great!
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
    Don't give up! Keep talking to the newcomers, busting myths and correcting erroneous assumptions/advice. That is how people (like me) learn. Thanks to everyone who posts the same things over and over and over again :flowerforyou: :heart: :drinker: You make a HUGE difference in the environment here, trust me! You all keep the FITNESS in MFP....otherwise it would be just another weight loss site.
  • sonjavon
    sonjavon Posts: 1,019 Member
    I realize that this is frustrating, however, we have all been there. Maybe I should not say all, many of us have put stock into the get thin quick thing. How many of us bought the pills, ate the cabbage, or drank the drinks? We now know that the best way to do it is with lowering calories and exercise. We know that logging our food and be honest is the only way to be truly accountable. But not everyone has reached this stage. So how can you punish someone who has simply not gotten to that stage of the game yet. If you are frustrated, don't respond to the posts. I just think that we have to be patient with those that are still learning.

    As for the kids on here, I agree, but it is up to MFP to regulate that.

    Now see, I disagree with this. MFP is a community. Like any community I consider it my job to offer to help those that I feel are in need of help. In the most positive and constructive way I can, I feel that it's important that we try to explain to people to the best of our ability why they have the wrong idea (in my opinion of course). I realize that almost everyone on here has done it wrong in the past (myself included), but I also know that if someone I trusted and thought was knowledgeable came to me and said, "this is why I think you should change how you're doing it..." I would have listened, and probably taken the advice. It should be noted that, I'm not forcing my views on anyone, but when you post in a public forum, you should (as I am) be prepared to take criticism. If you don't want constructive criticism, then you should post a blog about it where you can delete replies that you don't like.

    NOW

    whether they take that advice is another matter, as the saying goes, "you can lead a horse to water..." and that's fine, but again, my issue is that many (newbies) don't yet get the concept of communal support with weight loss, and some may see those posts about fast weight loss as acceptable just because they have been posted on this site. And that is bad to me.

    The other side of that is that when people first come on to MFP - they don't know who "the experts" are. I see a lot of people on MFP who state information as if it is fact when in reality - I know it's not. When I started MFP, I did a lot of reading before I posted... and I read what people said... a few people made a lot of sense to me... Banks, you for one and TamTastic... because I related to her pictures. But people are grasping at straws and honestly for me, this seemed "too easy" to work. I was still looking for the ONE magic bullet that was going to make it all work when I came to MFP over a year ago... because I had tried "everything" - except this. MFP was the first place that I found that made it all make sense. Keep fighting the good fight... you can't be everything to everyone - but to some, what you say could mean everything!
  • JJs25th
    JJs25th Posts: 204 Member
    I had also noticed a slight increase in the amount of "quick fix/loss" posts. I read some of them, and once in a while found myself questioning my plan. :noway: But I just review where I came from and where I need to be.

    In a couple of weeks I will have been here a year. I only had 25 or so pounds to loose when I started. I thought I could do that by October --HA! I could have, if I gave up things I liked to eat completely and devoted my life to living in a gym. I knew from experience that was not going to happen -- and even if it did, I could not keep it up once I reached my goal. I read the threads, and paid attention to the ones that made sense -- and had some knowledge backing them up. (thanks Banks! :flowerforyou: ) I realized that having a "small amount" to loose (incomparison to some) meant the journey would be a little more difficult than I had anticipated. And most likely longer. October came and went -- I was closer, but not there. I did not give up. I have continued the plan I put in place. I am now as they say "within spitting distance" of my goal. I feel great, I am signed up for my first 5K charity walk at the end of April. And what I learned here has helped me set my mother on her path.

    I will make my goal -- it took a year, but I can maintain this within the life strructure I lead. And that is what is important.

    [Edit:] And I could not have done it withot MFP urging me on. I have given this webaddress to everyone who has asked how I have lost weight. I tell them: "Some work, protion control, and my best tool: MyFitnessPal.com"
  • Well, here is the deal in my case. I have had lap band surgery. Contrary to what people believe it is no "magic bullet" but a tool. I have had it for 8 yrs.I at one time weighed over 300 pounds. I have kept most of what I lost off. However I am finding that now that I attempting to eat healthier, I can not handle the bulk of healthy food. Chips, cokes and cookies go right down! This is why, thus far, I have lost weight somewhat quickly because I am not able to eat all my food. I have chosen to take weekends off to keep my weight loss from being too fast ( not going crazy) and to keep my metabolism up.
  • SHBoss1673
    SHBoss1673 Posts: 7,161 Member
    I had also noticed a slight increase in the amount of "quick fix/loss" posts. I read some of them, and once in a while found myself questioning my plan. :noway: But I just review where I came from and where I need to be.

    In a couple of weeks I will have been here a year. I only had 25 or so pounds to loose when I started. I thought I could do that by October --HA! I could have, if I gave up things I liked to eat completely and devoted my life to living in a gym. I knew from experience that was not going to happen -- and even if it did, I could not keep it up once I reached my goal. I read the threads, and paid attention to the ones that made sense -- and had some knowledge backing them up. (thanks Banks! :flowerforyou: ) I realized that having a "small amount" to loose (incomparison to some) meant the journey would be a little more difficult than I had anticipated. And most likely longer. October came and went -- I was closer, but not there. I did not give up. I have continued the plan I put in place. I am now as they say "within spitting distance" of my goal. I feel great, I am signed up for my first 5K charity walk at the end of April. And what I learned here has helped me set my mother on her path.

    I will make my goal -- it took a year, but I can maintain this within the life strructure I lead. And that is what is important.

    just a wonderful story. And thank you for the credit, but it's not needed, YOU did the work, and YOU came to the realizations you needed to in order to be healthy! So YOU take all the credit. Great job JJ! Walk that 5K, and I expect to see you running the next one :wink:

    -Banks
  • kerrilucko
    kerrilucko Posts: 3,852 Member
    I've found there to be a lot of younger people who have real body image issues trying to lose weight when they don't need to. Also..is there an age requirement on this site? I don't know if 15 year old girls should be on here, if they have a serious weight problem it is something that they should be talking to their parents about and consulting a doctor or nutritionist to get help with. This site is a wonderful tool, so even if their parents used it in a positive way WITH their children.....because anyone under 18 years old are still children....

    My 17 year old daughter has used this site because she spoke to me about it. She saw the success I was having and wanted that for herself. Although the site does say you have to be 18, why shouldn't somebody who is younger, with theg uidance of an adult, use it?

    This is a good point, but I do think that the situation you refer to is pretty unique. Most of the underagers I see open discuss the fact that they are underage, and go about losing weight in a very healthy way (a way I'm CERTAIN you would never encourage your daughter to do this). The youngest I have seen on this site was 11. I think that certainly by 17 you're getting into a whole different category of opinions. An 11 year old should simply NOT be dieting, a 17 year old learning about healthy lifestyle is a different issue.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
    I've noticed the same thing, Banks.

    I also notice some of those threads are people who joined about January (New Year's Resolution) and are now getting frustrated that they've been "Working really hard" for "So long now" (3 months) and haven't lost the 30lbs. they thought they would. :laugh: :flowerforyou:

    Just like at the gym. I think those "New Year" crowds will be thinning out soon. :wink:

    Also, Kudos to those "Vets" I see responding to the same questions over and over. :flowerforyou:

    I totally agree with Banks and this post.
    I was at the gym yesterday during lunch (yep, I'm lucky enough that my gym is right across the street from my office) and I was the only person in there...when a few months ago it was packed. LOL. At least I didn't have to share any of the equipment yesterday but it really is disheartening to see the lack to want and need for people to be there chugging on beside me.
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