Fit girl rant
Replies
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I've had the same problem with the people I work with, and I agree with the other posters, don't worry about what other people think. I have my own goals, and I'm not going to stop training hard because someone tells me I'm getting too "jacked." I've had people tell me that it's extreme to care about how much protein, carbs, and fats I'm getting in my diet. I've had people tell me that women shouldn't lift heavy weights.
But you know what? I've also gained a hell of a lot of confidence through strength training. I remember being afraid of even walking into the weight training room at my gym. Now I know all the regulars, and I've even have taught new people (male and female) proper form. I don't plan on giving that feeling up for anyone.
I just started learning how to properly weight train!0 -
After reading the OP I'll weigh in with my 2 cents. I have found in my experience that no matter how you look, fat, skinny, muscley, lean, you are going to be harshly judged by those who have thier issues and insecurities with how you want to be. Now I admit I am not a fan of body builders and being super ripped but I do admire their perserverance and determination in achieving how they always wanted to be.
So in essence become what you want, and as long asyou are happy that is what counts. Don't sacrifice your happiness for someone else's ignorance.0 -
That's the problem with our society's distorted view of what a strong, attractive woman looks like. No wonder the world is full of skinny-fat people. I know how you feel, my mom is constantly saying to me that my legs are starting to look grossier coz of the muscles that I get from lifting heavy weights but I just ignored her.
I know its hard but just think of all the benefits of being a strong woman. Those people who find it gross are simply losers who lack proper education.0 -
Sometimes jealous people say mean things. Ignore them!0
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So after struggling with the idea that "strong is the new skinny", I'm finally starting to accept that being "healthy" is more attractive than being skinny. I've been all over the map and been called every name- in high school I was super fit and muscular because I really wanted to do physique competitions and catty girls (and boys) started calling me a man. I got self conscious and stopped working out, I moved out of my parents house and starting partying a lot and gained quite a bit of weight while in a relationship. That ended and I got sick, which I don't really want to go into, but after a couple years, suddenly, I was "too skinny", I started taking better care of myself, gained some weight (too much I think), mostly thanks to great relationship I'm in right now. So here I am trying to find the happy medium and learn how to feel good about myself and be healthy at the same time. Dana Lynn Bailey is someone that inspires me a lot and tonight after my first CrossFit training session, I shared one of her Facebook photos. Now I'm reading through all the back-lash, all from men going on about how gross she is. I'm taking their critique of her personally and it's making want to do some not-so-healthy things.
Ugh, so frustrated.
There wasn't really any point to this other than ranting- hopefully to an audience that shares my frustration with body image and expectations, be them self appointed or otherwise.
Hope you all having a good day!
This made my day. I've had so many ups and downs and skinny and fat years and struggled with body image and no matter what a woman does, every part of her will be critiqued. Just know that it's NOT you, you can be whatever size you want, however fit you want, and no one can and should be able to tell you different. Its not about fat acceptance or skinny acceptance, it's about acceptance. Period. It's about what you want and what makes you happy. A woman's body is not some object that everyone gets to comment on, but it happens nonetheless and it isn't fair.0 -
There are always going to be people who find you attractive no matter what your shape. If you're skinny and soft, there will be people who enjoy that. If you're bulging and ripped there will be people who enjoy that. If you're somewhere in the middle there will be people who enjoy that.
There are 7 billion unique individuals on this planet. Aside from genetic anomaly like identical multiples and other extraordinary situations, every single one has all the same parts and yet looks completely different from one another. Exactly which of those 7 billion are you supposed to try and model yourself after?
Just be you. Go for whatever look you like.0 -
It's normal to consider what others think, we are social animal driven by these, and other, biological desires. But these thought can overtake a healthy self-image and provide all sorts of false insecurities in a beautiful and capable person, like yourself. Keep them in check - you have strength, great abilities, fitness and you are doing things. The "new skinny" is not strength or fitness or any single one thing, but the ability to rock your world, the way you want to, with self-assurance that you are your own kaleidoscope.
You seem to be doing great, keep at it.0 -
Well now that I'm almost 40 and struggled with what you are when I was in my 20s, all I can say is you will NEVER be EVERYONE'S cup of tea. Some people are jealous, some people like muscles, some like big butts, and some like skin and bones. It is simply not possible to EVER be pretty enough or have a perfect enough body. People like different things. Some people are just plain jerks.
I wasted my entire 20s feeling like you describe and I was very fit and a rockin hottie! I never even had a boyfriend until I was 25 because my self-esteem was so low! Now people say things about me like, "Well, she's cute but you should have seen her when she was younger. She looked like a model." And at the time, no one told me that. GRRR. You cannot listen to what others have to say. Just decide how you want to look and feel, based on healthy ideals and go after that. And if they don't like it, screw them. They're just immature. Why not pick a fitness goal unrelated to appearance and go for it? Like a race or a competition? Then you can focus on how you feel and what you've accomplished, not how you look.
P.S. Looks fade. You will be sad someday that you spent so much time worrying about them at the expense of other important things in your life. I know I have regretted the days I should have been happy that I spent being so sad. I think a lot of it just comes with time and people's priorities change. In a few years, everyone will be so busy with their own lives that they won't care what you look like (kids, work, etc.).0 -
Dana Lynn isn't my idea of eye candy, but you'd probably giggle like crazy if I showed you a pic of my husband and told you how ridiculously attractive I find him. That's just personal preference. She is, however, healthy and that is something that isn't really up for debate. I can not imagine the amount of hard work and dedication it must take to obtain and then maintain such an incredible body. It takes real guts, I'm betting.
I highly suggest that you trim the sexist fat off of your friend's list if you're getting so much negativity from these guys over a woman who inspires you, especially if it's making you consider endangering your own health. I'm of the opinion that friends like that aren't really friends.0 -
What you experienced is the main reason I dont share any pics on facebook. People are stupid, judgemental and selfrighteou. When it comes to fitness Ive figured im better of turning to the places where people share my interest, like Mfp or tumblr.
Its about coming to terms what you like, and understanding that there is not only ONE ideal body, its just a matter of opinion and peoples opinion differ from one place to another. For a long time I felt fat, ugly and big just because im very muscular and I felt like I didnt fit in anywhere, just because men and women have a tendency to talk loudly about how disgusting muscles are on women. But then when I found tumblr I slowly realized there are other people out there just like me who love muclses and love their strong healty bodies and who think Dana Lynn Bailey is AWESOME! Cuz she really is!!!!!0 -
Unfortunately those girls/guys in highschool don't actually change (mentally). You just have to learn to be proud of yourself, and hold your head high! Easier said than done I know, but the feeling you get after successfully portraying confidence is AMAZING :happy:0
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Dana Lynn isn't my idea of eye candy, but you'd probably giggle like crazy if I showed you a pic of my husband and told you how ridiculously attractive I find him. That's just personal preference. She is, however, healthy and that is something that isn't really up for debate. I can not imagine the amount of hard work and dedication it must take to obtain and then maintain such an incredible body. It takes real guts, I'm betting.
^^^^ I totally agree. It's not the look I aspire to but it's exceptionally admirable. Now if she would only stop ruining it with the constant duck-facing!0 -
I am completely jealous of your job
and I agree, I bet the people who complain about how you look don't have the guts, ability or strength and stamina it takes to do those things,
You look great just ignore them and focus on what you want to look like, that's all that matters0 -
I personally prefer a softer women look. If this is the look you want go for it! There are plenty of people that find it attractive.0
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Screw them.. FlagNorFail bby
! DLB is a beast! and so are you! haters gunna hate, Mirers gunna mire ~.^".
on another note... no matter what.. you will always get jerks.. who say mean things .. like " shes gunna look like a man lifting like that.".. or something along those lines.
Just fight through it all!
it hurts at first .. but it gets old after a bit. ;D 0 -
I didn't read what everyone put on here but... There will always be different people with different opinions. Some people like skinny girls, some like women with more muscles, heck! some people like bigger women. You will never be able to have the shape and size that EVERYONE will like. You'll have to decide what YOU like best, what YOU want. Talk about it to your partner and see what he thinks would be best for you. Don't forget that being healthy should come first. Oh and I think crossfit is an awesome program and you should stick with it if you like it. I wish you all the best 0
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Saw this on a blog the other day and it made me reeeeally mad.
Its always a free-for-all on FB and even on this site to bash fit/muscular women and its extremely sad.
heres the link: http://shirtlessncomfortable.tumblr.com/image/35205607952
Every single one of those comments looks to me like a very bad case of sour grapes....
"I can't be bothered to put the effort in to get the grapes off that tall vine (or someone else beat me to it, or I think I'm totally incapable), therefore they must be sour and I'm better off than the person who puts the effort in to get them...."
I like strong women, my husband likes strong women, and no other opinions on the planet really mean anything to me. I'd rather look like the woman in the pic than be one of the people talking **** about her because I'm jealous!!0 -
You know what they say about opinions, don't you? Really, if the pic inspired you, use it, and ignore what other people think about it. As long as your goal is HEALTHY, then go for it.0
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Getting FROM caring what other people say to an unhealthy degree TO taking into account what other people say, but ultimately understanding that their opinion is not as important as your own... is a difficult and time-consuming process.
Once I started keeping a journal -- that is, using the MFP blog to write out my thoughts every day -- I've been able to track my mental growth over time. Mental growth is such a huge part of becoming healthy. You can't REALLY become completely healthy unless your relationship with yourself and your opinion of yourself is healthy too.
Once you get to the point of truly understanding that YOUR hopes and dreams and aspirations and goals are what's REALLY important in YOUR life -- because it IS YOUR LIFE -- then you will be able to mold your body to exactly what you want it to be -- OR JUST REALIZE that your body ALREADY IS exactly what you want it to be -- and you will feel so much happier with your life.
These journeys that we are all on -- it's not really about "losing weight" or "gaining muscle" or "toning" or whatever -- it's about LOVING OURSELVES. I'm fat right now, but y'know what? I'm starting to love my body anyways. I don't like the way it looks, but it's the only body I've got, and I'm going to do my best to love it, take care of it, and make it as healthy and happy as possible, and not let my body being unhealthy keep me from doing all the things I want to do with my life.0 -
Develop a thicker skin...Be confident in yourself and what YOU like and what YOU want to do with your body. Everyone is not going to have the same opinion on body types or levels of fitness, and that's ok. I mean really, so what? Who cares what other people think, it only matters what YOU think.
No one else's opinions should have such a hold on you or impact on you that you would want to do unhealthy things.0 -
One of the biggest lessons to learn in life is that no matter what you do, what you believe in, what you say, what you look like, etc----there will ALWAYS be people putting you down and telling you that you're "wrong". The only way to truly be happy is to live your life the way you see best and ignore the negative people and comments that come your way. They'll come no matter what, regardless.0
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I always take other people's opinions into consideration. But I then end up disregarding it about 95% of the time.
Because most people are freakin' idiots.
True story.
On a serious note how can another person's opinion of me be more important than my opinion of myself? They cannot know as well as I do what struggles or issues I have faced, what makes me...me better than I do. In short they lack enough real information to make an informed decision unless they are very close to me. As such their opinion will always be secondary.0 -
Jeez. Many of you on here don't really need to lose weight. You need to gain self-esteem.....
Rule 1: Like yourself
Rule 2: Be selective about the people whose opinions you care about
Rule 3: Don't give much weight to what "others" think - unless those "others" know you and care about you
Rule 4. Make your own rules.0 -
I would love to chill and have a beer with DLB she seems like a really cool chick.0
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I would love to chill and have a beer with DLB she seems like a really cool chick.
YES!!!!
OP stop over thinking. Do what makes YOU happy.0 -
Getting FROM caring what other people say to an unhealthy degree TO taking into account what other people say, but ultimately understanding that their opinion is not as important as your own... is a difficult and time-consuming process.
Once I started keeping a journal -- that is, using the MFP blog to write out my thoughts every day -- I've been able to track my mental growth over time. Mental growth is such a huge part of becoming healthy. You can't REALLY become completely healthy unless your relationship with yourself and your opinion of yourself is healthy too.
Once you get to the point of truly understanding that YOUR hopes and dreams and aspirations and goals are what's REALLY important in YOUR life -- because it IS YOUR LIFE -- then you will be able to mold your body to exactly what you want it to be -- OR JUST REALIZE that your body ALREADY IS exactly what you want it to be -- and you will feel so much happier with your life.
These journeys that we are all on -- it's not really about "losing weight" or "gaining muscle" or "toning" or whatever -- it's about LOVING OURSELVES. I'm fat right now, but y'know what? I'm starting to love my body anyways. I don't like the way it looks, but it's the only body I've got, and I'm going to do my best to love it, take care of it, and make it as healthy and happy as possible, and not let my body being unhealthy keep me from doing all the things I want to do with my life.
#applause0 -
Jeez. Many of you on here don't really need to lose weight. You need to gain self-esteem.....
Rule 1: Like yourself
Rule 2: Be selective about the people whose opinions you care about
Rule 3: Don't give much weight to what "others" think - unless those "others" know you and care about you
Rule 4. Make your own rules.
Rule 5: If your Facebook friends are haters, DELETE THEM!0 -
I'm inspired by fitness models/competitors too. I'm my own worst critic and don't care what people think. Being my worst critic pushes me to work harder so I can achieve my goals. Yes, it's extreme to many who don't understand it. Many also don't understand that these fitness models and competitors don't look like they do in the pictures year round. It's a lot of hard work and dedication to get to where they are. I admire them for that.
I loathe Facebook. Don't take what anyone has to say on there to heart.0 -
It's sad that there are people who can only feel good about themselves by putting other people down. Don't let their problem become your problem. Try out whatever body shape you like, you can always adapt your goal along the way.
Oh, and my favourite fitness inspiration is Anowa. I love those thighs and all that confidence. She reminds me that there are all kinds of beautiful women in this world and there's no need to try to be anyone else's ideal.0 -
I take everyone else's(men and women) opinions so seriously, more than my own. I've always been that way. I have no idea how to think for myself about myself physically.
You're 22? Give yourself five more years of torturing yourself over it... that should about leave you fed up with everyone else's opinions. Eh... you'll be fine.
This!!0
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