Need some help with Self Sabotage
ChantiC
Posts: 137
So I have been having a real hard time lately with sabotaging my weight loss efforts. I feel like I am going insane and I am super frustrated! I am educated on what is healthy to eat and what is not. I have been on pretty much every "diet" you can think of. I have lost all my weight before and gained it all back plus some. I know what to do and in my heart I know I want to lose this weight and be healthy and feel good about myself. So why when I do well, do I go into destructive mode and sabotage myself with tons of junk food? I recently finally got to my goal of under 210 lbs and what do I do for the past 3 weeks, eat my @ss off. And now back to 213 - 214. What is wrong with me? I know that some here will say if you really want it, then you do it. And I have that no nonsense kind of thinking too. I am not looking for sugar coated answers lol. I would just love some help from some people who do this as well and how they over came it. Thanks for any input 
Appreciate it.
Appreciate it. 0
Replies
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I have been doing the exact same thing for the past couple of weeks. I blame it on finals stress. It is a deep rooted problem. Is it not thinking we do not deserve this accomplishment? Is it just lack of will-power? Like you, I am perfectly educated on what is healthy and what is not. I think it is really in the mind. You can do it! It is a change in attitude and perspective; losing weight is not just about eating and exercising differently. I too struggle everyday with this change.0
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Hey there. I am sorry I wish I had a good response to your dilema. But I have done the same thing off and on. I got down to my 1st goal and then totally slacked and did some seriously bad eating and quit logging. Why, oh Why do I think that that little pound of gain is no big deal when that same one pound of loss seems to mean the world to me?? Why can't I hang on to that amazing feeling when I lost that one last pound? This is a super lesson to be learned from folks who are maintaining. Once the thrill of losing is fading, how do you keep from binging. And what's made it worse is that I actually rewarded myself for losing a bit by letting myself have the junk food. How nuts was that?!? It's like HOORAY I painted something as gorgeous as a Rembrandt so now I will slack off and slop coffee on it!
Good Luck... Maybe you need to just keep reminding yourslef... " I am a Rembrandt.... I am so worth this "0 -
I have the same problem
I've been working out in the gym the hardest I have ever worked in my life. And then I'm eating chinese food and loaded mashed potatoes. Why am I sabotaging all of my work in the gym? I wish there was a psychological answer to why I'm doing this.0 -
I don't have the perfect solution for you, but I will tell you what helps me. Don't completely expect to stop eating the foods you love, if you eat perfect for 5 days straight you are going to start having crazy cravings and go wild, that's what I do. I give myself 2 cheat meals a week...nothing overboard. But if I want a hamburger, fries, and coke, I can. I am not talking about 2 binges or anything. I plan when I am having my cheat meals too, gives me something to look forward to and helps me stay healthy in the mean time 0
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I have a similar problem... It's been dragging me down for years... I wish i knew what was going on! But i'm here to help in the meantime. 0
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Try to dig deep into your life (past). You'll find your answer. I sometimes self sabotage, but I remember this:
My ex husband used to abuse me physically and emotionally and always on me about my weight. 11 years ago, I got down to 170 but for him that was still "fat". So I gained all the way back up into the 200's again.
Now I've been remarried for 3 years now and I'm finally losing weight again. 50 pounds since February.
My self sabotage? Comes from fear that my ex will kidnap me once he sees that I'm skinny finally. (he's kidnapped me once before exactly 4 years ago on Dec. 16th) So, it makes me not wanna lose weight for fear that he'll want me back and do anything to get me back. But I just have to be strong, and get that out of my mind and move on with my life. He will not be an obstacle anymore!!!
Good luck everyone!0 -
There's a lot that plays into your decisions about eating:
What's convenient? Do you have healthy food on hand that can be prepared and eaten as quickly and easily as junk food? Do you know where to go for a healthy meal if you're on the go with your kids? Did you bring a snack with you to help you avoid the vending machine?
What nutrients are you craving? If you want chocolate or ice cream, your body's asking for dietary fat. Reach for some nuts or a small amount of cheese instead. Figure out what you crave and what healthy substitutions to make that will give your body the same satisfaction.
Did you eat enough today? Before indulging in the junk, have you pretty much met your macros? Are you about to binge on a Chinese buffet because you worked out and still have a ways to go on your calorie goal, so your body's demanding food and demanding it immediately? Eating something small (and protein packed!) post-workout can prevent binges.
Is there something you do that triggers your desire to eat? A lot of people are accustomed to snacking while they watch TV, so they almost instinctively reach for a bag of chips. Be aware of those behaviors and take steps to correct them.0 -
I started on here 8/27/12 @ 221 and am down to 199 as of today I have been working on changing my habits. For instance I have changed to eating oatmeal for breakfast everyday. I hate oatmeal, but have found that Apple & Cinn isn't so bad. It is even better since it is helping the weight loss. Also I pick 3 snacks a week that I can have. Only keep those at home and at work. You have to change your habits. It is ok to indulge on something once a week. Just not too much. Right now I am doing the 30 Day Shred which is 25 min of my day. If I have time I go for a walk or jump on my bike, but I don't beat myself up if I don't. last month I only lost 4 pounds, but I didn't gain any. You have a lifetime to lose this weight. A little at a time. If you change your habits then it will be that much easier to maintain it once you lose it. Don't beat yourself up just start again today as a brand new day. It gets easier I promise. If I can do it anybody can, I am the habitual yoyo dieter and this MFP site has been the best thing ever 0
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I have been on pretty much every "diet" you can think of.
^ This is probably a large part of your problem. Stop dieting.
This is not some brief period of punishment that you have to endure for being overweight. This is not a test of your willpower to eat certain foods at certain times or a test of how long you can go without cookies. This is your life. Being healthy and fit requires an overall behavior modification. It’s about developing new habits that will be sustainable for a very, very long time, not just until you see a certain number on the scale.
Think of how long it took you to be overweight and unhealthy. For me, it was years. Most of my teenage and adult life. If you've never been fit like me, never worked out, been into sports, been taught how to cook, etc., then it’s going to take a long time. You start slowly, with achievable goals that will eventually, over time, become habits. Those habits will start to replace the bad habits you've developed, if you let them.0 -
I think you're doing just fine on your own.......\m/0
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Maybe you need more support from others. Have people hold you accountable (REALLY accountable)! Like tell them to yell at you if you start to self sabotage. Tell them to not ask you out to eat and not have junk food in the house etc. Something that is helping me a lot right now is this 8 week challenge I'm doing with MFP friends. We get points for eating right and exercising etc.0
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I have been up and downt he last couple weeks, loosing some then gaining it back. I have noticed that the week before my period is when I feel more hungry and crave the chocolate and junk more, so I honestly think that affects me those change in hormones. Other than that I have no idea why I do it either, some days emotions get the best of me and I eat, or any other excuses. It's a hard lifestyle change to make.0
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I too, wish I had the answer to this question. I've lost the same 50 lbs - twice. I've gained it back yet again. sigh. I am well educated on not only eating right, but excercize as well. Doesn't matter - I still stuff my face and find every excuse I can not to do what I know I should be doing. I am worth it, so why do I punish myself?0
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Don't do what you feel like doing. Plan out your day, write down on your notebook that you WILL work out today, and don't find an excuse. If your mind gives you some reasons to give up, ignore them.
self-sabotage is about fear.
Find out what the suppressed fear
-afraid that you won't succeed?
-afraid of change?
-afraid of not getting through the holidays without backsliding?
-afraid of people's perceptions?
Oh, and stop dieting.
*Our body is a mirror that reflects to us our own beliefs about our selves. Seeing our body as the enemy – because it “should” look different, or because it’s not perfect, or because we feel repelled by what we see in the mirror – prompts us to fight it, to reject it, to abuse and shame ourselves for it. We develop an adversarial relationship with our body, and feel victimized by it. We take turns then shaming, blaming, trying to fix, control, or hide (and deny) it. Explain to me how anything but suffering can come from a relationship like that with our body?* ~ Lynne Forrest
HALT: "Am I eating to nourish my body or feed my addiction?"
self-sabotage is about fear.
Find out what the suppressed fear
-afraid that you won't succeed?
-afraid of change?
-afraid of not getting through the holidays without backsliding?
-afraid of people's perceptions?
"A consciousness of wrongdoing is the first step to salvation…you have to catch yourself doing it before you can correct it." --Seneca
Remember TFAR: Your Thoughts lead to your Feelings which lead to your Actions which lead to your Results. Diets don’t work because they are focused on actions, not the root causes (your thoughts and feelings); in fact they even create new thoughts and feelings that drive more overeating! Where else in your life do you try to fix the outside without addressing the inside first? How is that backfiring?
Why I Want To Get In Shape
"Losing weight is hard. Maintaining weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. CHOOSE YOUR HARD." I've made my decision!!
"If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution."
One "bad" meal doesn't make you fat, just like one "good" meal doesn't make you skinny!" Get up and move on, don't stay down
I suggest you post quotes of encouragement around you, and find exercises you like to do.
Best of luck~0 -
Obviously from all the replies, you aren't alone! I also often sabotage myself. The biggest thing I have noticed that leads me to do this is being TOO restrictive. If you don't allow yourself wiggle room, or stop using guilt as a motivator, then your train will jump the tracks.
Remember that the process isn't difficult, it's all mental. Don't tell yourself you are on a diet, don't guilt yourself into exercise or eating sparingly, it will just backfire! Most of all, if you do slip, accept it and MOVE ON!
As Dory says, Just Keep Swimming!0 -
I have the same problem
I've been working out in the gym the hardest I have ever worked in my life. And then I'm eating chinese food and loaded mashed potatoes. Why am I sabotaging all of my work in the gym? I wish there was a psychological answer to why I'm doing this.
There is a psychological reason. You may not know what it is. I know I didn't and still someimes don't know what drives my compulsive eating, but I do know after numerous therapists, that there are definite mental factors.0 -
It's a process. You do what you can, when you can.
A couple things that helped me. First, when you gain a couple pounds, time to reign it all back in. Start logging everything again, eating within calories, drinking a lot of water and getting moderate exercise 3-4 times a week. "Everything" doesn't have to be perfect. Just do these things.
Also - I only need so much food. Really. The rest is wasteful. Instead of not wasting food on my plate, I don't fill the plate. I use a smaller plate. I wait after eating. I eat healthy food and lots of protein.
Keep getting back up. Ever watch a toddler learn to walk? That's right. They don't stay on their butt. They get. back. up.
Nobody does this perfectly. Give yourself a huge atta-girl when you do something right, but don't beat yourself up when you don't. It's a learning process.0 -
I don't have the answer of all answers. BUT. We're into the holiday season and that means more temptations everywhere you look.
I think if you look at how long it took the weight to go on, and then allow for an equivalent time to lose it, you would be looking at a much slower weight loss and much longer timeframe. The long picture. The big goal. The big goal is to be at your goal weight, FOREVER, and never gain this weight back. So, take it slow, and keep your eye on the prize.
I like to reward myself for meeting small interim goals. Goals like "I will not eat anything today from the trays of goodies at work." If I manage that, I get something. Maybe a long jacuzzi at the gym, maybe some flowers from the store, maybe an hour reading a book, maybe a nap, maybe a movie on netflix.
I also try to allow myself treats. There is an ice cream sandwich I like that is 100 calories per, Bluebell Mini Sandwiches. Or, we went to the movies the other night, and I logged in my candy in advance to make sure I could "afford" it.
Good luck. You can do this.0 -
Have a slice of cake
You're welcome.0 -
You know I had this conversation with my hubby this morning. I used to do low carb and it wasn't for me. I told him I'm tired of the "dieting" and I want to start living. Yes..I'm still going to track my food and make healthier choices. But I will no longer punish myself for missing a day at the gym or eating a few lemon bars. I'm going to track it and keep it moving.
You do have a lifetime to lose this weight...so I'm going to live and be merry!
And without the added pressure, I don't crave the sweets and junk as much.0 -
Kidnaping is a crime and is not OK. This should not even be a possibility. Do you have a restraining order? At least are all your friends/family aware of the risk and know what to do should you turn up missing? Yikes. Wishing you the best.0
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EW LOL!0
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I am going through the same thing right now. I was going to post about it, but like you posted you would get the good ol Nike quote "Just do it.". I know what I need to do, but just can't. I have no idea why.0
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"Losing weight is hard. Maintaining weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. CHOOSE YOUR HARD." I've made my decision!!
I love this!0 -
I don't know how you are going about choosing foods for your diet, but are you being too restrictive? Are you labeling certain foods as "good" and/or "bad"? Are you giving up too many of the foods you love for fear they will hinder weight loss?
Sounds like you binge because you gave up too many things at one time. Often times that leads to frustration and then failure. Try looking at food differently. You should be able to eat most anything as long as you stay under your calorie goal and hit your carb/protein/fat goals. Plan out your days so that you can fit in a few snacks that you enjoy.0 -
You really have to look inside because the food is not the issue. I have a fear of being viewed as sexy and as much weight as I have lost and more I want to lose I still have to deal with that fear. For me the compulsive eating is all about my emotions not hunger, and trying to fill a void. I just try and do something fun or be active instead of sitting down with the entire bag of chips or the cookies. If I stay busy I don't even thing about being lonely, feeling unloved, having the weight of the world on my shoulders as a child. Hope this helps.0
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You need to make small, gradual changes to your lifestyle. If you are honestly serious about losing weight, you know it will take a long time. There are no quick fixes if you do it right. Take one bad habit, and gradually change it. I used to eat 2 donuts every morning. Yep! I started having 1 per day for a while until I got used to it (and I messed up a few times and got 2, but I made sure I was comfortable with getting just 1), then every other day, etc. I haven't had a donut in about 3 months, but it took me a long time to get to that point. And I know if I ever want one, I can get one and just factor it into my calories for the day, but I know I will be starving 5 minutes later. It's not worth the calories (most of the time).
Take whatever it is that you think is causing you the most problems. Sweets? Cheesy things like pizza or casseroles? Soda? Whatever your biggest problem area is, slowly start chipping away at it. Take it one day at a time. Start trying to stay under calorie goals, but set your calories high at first so you can get used to it, and slowly lower them when you feel comfortable.
I know it sounds sucky and probably not what you wanted to hear, but I had very similar problems with sabotaging myself and this is the ONLY thing that has ever worked for me. I feel like I am in control of my life again, and trust me, it's worth it.0 -
Simple answer.... STOP making excuses.
As the wise Yoda once said.... there is no try, there is only do, or do not.0 -
I don't know how you are going about choosing foods for your diet, but are you being too restrictive? Are you labeling certain foods as "good" and/or "bad"? Are you giving up too many of the foods you love for fear they will hinder weight loss?
Sounds like you binge because you gave up too many things at one time. Often times that leads to frustration and then failure. Try looking at food differently. You should be able to eat most anything as long as you stay under your calorie goal and hit your carb/protein/fat goals. Plan out your days so that you can fit in a few snacks that you enjoy.
^this times a million0 -
A lifetime of previous bad habits will not just disappear. It takes time and effort to re-learn new habits & behaviors.
Everybody will have days (weeks, months, etc) of this when they are re-learning. I do it, but I am getting better at fighting the urges. I'm also learning better choices of what I can eat, so I'm trying to replace one thing with a better version. And sometimes... I say screw it and eat what I want. But I don't pretend that I'm not doing it, I am trying to force myself to see what I'm doing and how I can change but not deny myself everything fun.
It takes time, effort and will power. It can be done.... it's not an easy road or nobody would ever worry about it.
Just take one step at a time - record EVERYTHING. Honestly. Then step back and look at what you've done and see if you can find healthier alternatives. One trick an old pych doc of mine told me was to record (written) how I was feeling when I felt driven to hit the junk food (or even just plain eat). Look at the entries - see if your eating from stress, boredom, anger, etc. good luck (to you and everyone - we all need it :flowerforyou: ) 0
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