So, This is What They Call a Mid-Life Crisis.

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  • Topsking2010
    Topsking2010 Posts: 2,245 Member
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    Just turned 50 and women my age don't appeal to me any more in a romantic sense.


    Looking at buying a sports car for Christmas.


    Traveling to a Foreign Country for the lst time in 2013.


    Purchase a ticket to go skydiving in 2013.


    Regarding your first line? Why the hell NOT?



    Most single women I meet my age can't match my energy level. Just sayin!!!
  • emaren
    emaren Posts: 934 Member
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    I had the absolutely mother, father and grandparents of a middle age crises when I turned 40.......

    I absolutely did everything that you can imagine that a guy who suddenly realizes that his life is mundane could do, I dumped my partner, bought a sports car, added a Ducati to my fleet of motorcycles, partied hard in Vegas, ran a marathon with zero training, had relationships with all the 'wrong' women, dated girls in their 20's and early 30's voraciously etc.....

    My mid-life crisis was pretty awesome.
  • staceyseeger
    staceyseeger Posts: 783 Member
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    Age is just a number :wink: :wink: :wink:

    Since turning 40, I have lost 60 lbs, PR'd for a half marathon at 1:42, done 3 Century rides, a Tough Mudder, several duathlons & a triathlon. :smile: :smile: :smile:

    In 2013, I will have a son in the ARMY & officially become a Grandma! :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
  • alvalaurie
    alvalaurie Posts: 369 Member
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    Just turned 50 and women my age don't appeal to me any more in a romantic sense.


    Looking at buying a sports car for Christmas.


    Traveling to a Foreign Country for the lst time in 2013.


    Purchase a ticket to go skydiving in 2013.


    Regarding your first line? Why the hell NOT?



    Most single women I meet my age can't match my energy level. Just sayin!!!

    I completely understand this! Which is why I have always dated younger men. However they are usually not in it for the long haul, so I finally decided to try a date with an older man (only 2.5 yrs older) and we are perfect for each other! Granted, he's not very active & complains alot about his knees, back etc, but he doesn't stop me from being young & active so it works!
  • staceyseeger
    staceyseeger Posts: 783 Member
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    I had the absolutely mother, father and grandparents of a middle age crises when I turned 40.......

    I absolutely did everything that you can imagine that a guy who suddenly realizes that his life is mundane could do, I dumped my partner, bought a sports car, added a Ducati to my fleet of motorcycles, partied hard in Vegas, ran a marathon with zero training, had relationships with all the 'wrong' women, dated girls in their 20's and early 30's voraciously etc.....

    My mid-life crisis was pretty awesome.

    This was my husband between marriages - :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • Stinkerbelle84
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    You are only as old as you feel.

    I am only 28, and had my first mid-life crisis at 22, lol!

    Pretty easy to say when you are 28, believe me...

    By the way OP, you look pretty damn good.

    I suppose it is pretty easy to say when I am 28....except that I did not mention the high blood pressure, tachycardia, amount of dental work due to TMJ, or any other day to day woe is me. Oh yeah, and chronic migraines. So, like I said you are only as old as you feel. I feel pretty old.

    a mid-life crisis is not about feeling old. it's about when you first realize that you're older than you feel and time is moving forward relentlessly. when i was 28, i didn't understand it. at 45, i now do. a realization like that hits you like a ton of bricks. that's what people mean when they talk about having a mid-life crises.

    Thank you so much for the clarification. But, I am pretty sure that I understood what a mid-life crisis was before I posted. I do understand at 28 what a mid-life crisis is, and I understood it very clearly at 22 as well. It was without a doubt a realization that hit me like a ton of bricks. I have severe anxiety, always have. I had a doctor tell me at 22 that despite the fact that I was an otherwise healthy person, anxiety caused my heart rate to raise to over 125 (at a resting rate), and I would be lucky to live until I was 25. FYI........the anxiety was due to the fact that life was moving forward relentlessly, and out of my control. I realized how important my family is, and they deserve better than that. There are also lots of other life defining events that I am not going to mention here.

    So again, you are only as young as you feel. I believe that it is never too late to set out to accomplish anything that your heart desires.

    i still don't think you understand. it's about realizing that certain things are no longer possible because you're getting older. that's why a lot of guys compensate by going out and getting a Porsche. they want to feel like they are still young, even if they are not. in my case, i never got married and never had kids. now it's too late for me. that's something a lot of people take for granted and it's something i'll never get to do. that's the sort of realization that hits you like a ton of bricks. at 28 you can't understand. intellectually, maybe. but until you get to your mid-40's, you won't really know. it's not about disappointments everyone faces in life due to the stresses of life. a mid-life crisis is about aging and the barriers it starts to put up in front of the grand plans you had for life when you were young. at least that's my take on it.

    While you are certainly entitled to your opinion, keep in mind that you DON'T know me. Yes, I am 28. You don't have to be in your mid-40's to come to term with the fact that you may never do certain things. I will most likely never have children of my own. This is not because I am incapable, but because my husband is 38 and does not to have children much later than that.

    I have lost a parent, a sibling, just about all grandparents, and my parents are already losing siblings. They were only in their 40's. Ive watched friends lose parents who are in their late 40's early 30's. I realize that life is temporary, and who are you to tell me that I can't realize at 28 that there are barriers. You can't tell me that I will live until tomorrow, much less into my 40's or 50's. I have a friend who is dying of cancer, and a friend who's child is fighting a very courageous battle with cancer. She may not make it into her 40's to realize that she won't accomplish everything that she set out to in life.

    I don't think that a close minded "general" approach is really all that applicable in this situation. I don't think that you can judge a person by their age and say that they don't understand the meaning of mid-life crisis.

    But again, thanks for the clarification.
  • DanielleMN
    DanielleMN Posts: 24 Member
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    I love the "I beat anorexia" T-shirt.

    My husband turned 48 last week. I like to tease him about that because I won't be 48 until February. :)

    I actually feel pretty good right now, but I do worry about getting older. And sometimes I mourn for the things I did not do, like having kids.

    And like Nora Ephron, "I feel bad about my neck."
  • disasterman
    disasterman Posts: 746 Member
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    Could it be that our understanding and definition of mid-life crisis is different from person to person and evolves over time? I get what Stinkerbelle is saying but I identify very closely with WinnerVictorious and think he said what I was trying to say even better. But maybe you are both "right"?

    Edited to say I just didn't want to quote that huge thread...
  • scapez
    scapez Posts: 2,018 Member
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    I think me taking up running is the manifestation of my mid-life crisis.

    Heh...me too.
  • Stinkerbelle84
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    Age is just a number :wink: :wink: :wink:

    Since turning 40, I have lost 60 lbs, PR'd for a half marathon at 1:42, done 3 Century rides, a Tough Mudder, several duathlons & a triathlon. :smile: :smile: :smile:

    In 2013, I will have a son in the ARMY & officially become a Grandma! :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:

    You ROCK!!

    A 60 pound loss is amazing! Your physical accomplishments are awesome, too!

    My decided in her later 40's that her life just wasn't what she wanted it to be. She went from a selling specialist in a department store to a multi-million dollar producing real estate agent. I am so proud of her! She had her first "official" grandbaby earlier this year =)
  • rompers16
    rompers16 Posts: 5,404 Member
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    Sometimes being on here reminds me of how old I am. I have kids the same age or older than a lot of 'kids' on here...from 25 yrs old to an 11 year old. I like to think I'm still pretty cool, but my kids remind me on a regular basis that I'm not. ;)
  • deksgrl
    deksgrl Posts: 7,237 Member
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    Do you get where I'm going with this? I am realizing that I AM BECOMING THAT OLDER LADY!

    I want to hear your stories:

    What is going on with you in your mid life, are you having a crisis, and what are you going to do about it?

    I WAS that older lady. But I'm not any more.

    When my son was about 13, he wanted to go to the carnival. I was just getting home from work and didn't really want to, but I took him. I'm waiting for him while he was on the rides, all the young people around me, I'm wearing an ugly shapeless jacket and carrying my huge purse, and I thought, "OMG, I turned into my mother". I pretty much had the attitude that once you hit a certain age, that is it, you get heavier, you dress frumpier, and that's just the way it is. Trying to dress young is ridiculous, you now wear what is practical and what fits.

    So, I did that for too many years. My son is now 26. And I'm about to turn 50. But I won't be a fat and frumpy fifty. I'll be a fit and fabulous fifty. Oh, and I went and got my motorcycle license and got myself a Harley. No crisis here. ;)
  • TheRealJigsaw
    TheRealJigsaw Posts: 295 Member
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    *Whistles at katiedid*

    You can knock that one off your list
  • emmeylou
    emmeylou Posts: 175 Member
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    I'm pretty sure mid-life crisis can come at any age... I am 21, in a horrible financial situation, will probably never be able to get back to school, am stuck working part time at Walgreens and everyday I feel like my 4.0 GPA/Honor student brain is going to mush.

    But, on the plus side... living at home means I get to spend everyday with the most amazing little sister ever (she is seven) and my relationship with my mom is better than ever. I may never be able to get to med school like I dreamed of as a little girl, but apparently I stock shelves like a pro and my boss loves me, so I'm not likely to lose the job that took me months to find.

    On the best side, I have been able to take my time "off" of school to focus on "me". My mom's insurance covered weight loss surgery and I am down 135lbs and I am healthier than ever. Pretty awesome way to start off my adult life. Now if I could get everything else in order, I would be golden.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
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    Do you get where I'm going with this? I am realizing that I AM BECOMING THAT OLDER LADY!

    I want to hear your stories:

    What is going on with you in your mid life, are you having a crisis, and what are you going to do about it?

    I WAS that older lady. But I'm not any more.

    When my son was about 13, he wanted to go to the carnival. I was just getting home from work and didn't really want to, but I took him. I'm waiting for him while he was on the rides, all the young people around me, I'm wearing an ugly shapeless jacket and carrying my huge purse, and I thought, "OMG, I turned into my mother". I pretty much had the attitude that once you hit a certain age, that is it, you get heavier, you dress frumpier, and that's just the way it is. Trying to dress young is ridiculous, you now wear what is practical and what fits.

    So, I did that for too many years. My son is now 26. And I'm about to turn 50. But I won't be a fat and frumpy fifty. I'll be a fit and fabulous fifty. Oh, and I went and got my motorcycle license and got myself a Harley. No crisis here. ;)

    I have to admit that I was THAT older woman, too. I never wore makeup, except for work, I dressed in comfortable shoes and clothes for work (stuff that didn't ride up my butt and didn't squish my belly) and on the weekends I lived in either sweats and a sweatshirt (no makeup) or shorts and a t-shirt, depending on the weather. I looked terrible in shorts because I was fat, but I didn't care because I was comfortable and I had no reason to dress attractively.

    Then I lost 40 lbs and started liking to buy clothes and look nice, during the week and on weekends. I am in better shape than I was 10 or even 20 years ago because I had quit smoking when I turned 40, so I can actually run a couple of miles a few times a week.

    So there are good things about mid life, but there are some tough things like noticing the wrinkles in my neck or on my chest, having to get my hair highlighted to cover the grey and having to wear reading glasses, to start.
  • tonicandgin
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    quote: "a mid-life crisis is not about feeling old. it's about when you first realize that you're older than you feel and time is moving forward relentlessly"....this is how i am feeling, my age really seemed to hit me when i turned 45 in June.......in my head im not 45, but unfortunetly the mirror is telling me a different truth.... i dont have a bucket list and was reading this thread hoping for some ideas :)
  • katiedid1226
    katiedid1226 Posts: 233 Member
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    I had the absolutely mother, father and grandparents of a middle age crises when I turned 40.......

    I absolutely did everything that you can imagine that a guy who suddenly realizes that his life is mundane could do, I dumped my partner, bought a sports car, added a Ducati to my fleet of motorcycles, partied hard in Vegas, ran a marathon with zero training, had relationships with all the 'wrong' women, dated girls in their 20's and early 30's voraciously etc.....

    My mid-life crisis was pretty awesome.

    I am jealous of the running a marathon without trainining! What are you the bionic man?
  • katiedid1226
    katiedid1226 Posts: 233 Member
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    Totally with you on this!



    I got all excited when my personal trainer "flirted" with me. He's 19. SO not right, but made me feel alive!


    I know what you mean! Even if nobody is flirting with me, I think might be imagining that they ARE. But this year, since I started lifting heavy weights, I have really felt great about things and I like to think perhaps the kid bagging my groceries is flirting! It's so crazy!
  • bellydancer124
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    This is how I first realized just how old I am:

    My 15 year old niece got concert tickets for Christmas and is super excited. This past Sunday, I asked her what bands will be playing. She rattled off a list of about 10 bands.

    I didn't recognize a single one of them.


    I'm "only" 33 and always prided myself in being the cool mom/aunt. Guess I'm not as cool as I thought. :grumble:
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
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    I'm pretty sure mid-life crisis can come at any age... I am 21, in a horrible financial situation, will probably never be able to get back to school, am stuck working part time at Walgreens and everyday I feel like my 4.0 GPA/Honor student brain is going to mush.

    The economy has been particularly vicious to those born in the 1980s/early 1990s.