Weight + treatment from men / dating

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  • Mbishop7684
    Mbishop7684 Posts: 171 Member
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    Nope. When I was thinner I struggled with "getting attention" from men. As I became heavier(PCOS), my outlook on life changed. It started with (this was my own personal mantra to help me mentally get better) "If they don't like me for what I am now, then they don't deserve me for what I will be!" The moment I actually believed that, I had men choosing me over my skinny beautiful friends. Why? My personality was confident, outgoing and I couldn't give a flying .... about what anyone thought of me. ITS ALL ABOUT CONFIDENCE! I expect the same from a man. If hes cute but has a crappy personality and is incredibly insecure, that's a HUGE turnoff and is a NO-GO. However, if there's a guy who maybe isn't the HOTTEST guy in the world but has an amazing personality and confidence, I"ll take him in a hearbeat!
  • nayers86
    nayers86 Posts: 60
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    Yes and no...I was 226 (size 14-16) at my heaviest and men found me attractive. It was just that I attracted to different men based on my perception of my self. I had such low self confidence and was incredibly insecure so I dated men that were not the best option for me. As I have lost weight and gotten thinner (currently a size 4), I get attention everywhere. I am in a happy committed relationship (mind you an incredibly HEALTHY one at that) now and he loves me as I am but is more attracted to the toner and tighter version of myself. Some men will find you beautiful regardless of your size because of who you are not what you look like. And others will be more attracted to a more fit female.
  • shiraLA
    shiraLA Posts: 272 Member
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    I have been on both sides and I have to say that I get hit on way more now that I'm thinner. That being said, I have also changed my lifestyle and am way more active, way more open to things and have more confidence. I think this is what really attracts men. In the end, it's all about attraction and it's the same for both men and women. A man doesn't have to have rock hard abs for me to be attracted to him and I know that guys feel the same way about a lot of women.
  • anybeary
    anybeary Posts: 188 Member
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    My experience has been that guys only interested in one thing are interested in me now...my brains seemed to matter more when I was fat.
  • anybeary
    anybeary Posts: 188 Member
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    Yes and no...I was 226 (size 14-16) at my heaviest and men found me attractive. It was just that I attracted to different men based on my perception of my self. I had such low self confidence and was incredibly insecure so I dated men that were not the best option for me. As I have lost weight and gotten thinner (currently a size 4), I get attention everywhere. I am in a happy committed relationship (mind you an incredibly HEALTHY one at that) now and he loves me as I am but is more attracted to the toner and tighter version of myself. Some men will find you beautiful regardless of your size because of who you are not what you look like. And others will be more attracted to a more fit female.

    This too.
  • jenniferinfl
    jenniferinfl Posts: 456 Member
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    Way back at 145lbs and 5' 6", I could pretty much pick one.. lol..

    Now there's still some lookers, mostly the older crowd. I don't pursue as I'm married, so I don't know if it's real interest.
    Honestly, I think almost any weight can find someone if they're active, interested and involved in life. Oh yeah, and have realistic expectations. I've been chatted up more than a couple times at my heaviest weight, which I think is interesting.
  • butterflyluv1218
    butterflyluv1218 Posts: 430
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    My weight has gone up and down a million times over. I've never had a problem with men either way. I am very outgoing and flirty though so that could be why. I do have to say that women are nicer to me being big. Maybe they think there's no competition that way. Who knows. :)
  • AnnaVee84
    AnnaVee84 Posts: 345 Member
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    haha honestly, here in Vegas, girls get hit on no matter what size - it's just all about how much skin you show :tongue:
  • Brunner26_2
    Brunner26_2 Posts: 1,152
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    As long as they're not cheap, right OP?
  • Rogue_Minx
    Rogue_Minx Posts: 71 Member
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    It's all about how you carry yourself. I got more attention from men when I lost weight because I was much more confident in myself when I was out and about vs. thinking I looked terrible all the time.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
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    I've never had a hard time attracting men, but certainly I get more random/spontaneous attention when I've been thin vs. when I've been fat. At my healthy weight I get men opening doors, letting me go first at the ATM or in the grocery lineup... and I'm not flirting at all. I'm happily married and don't flirt. But definitely more, "No, please... after you," kinda stuff. But then I've noticed the same thing being blonde vs. being brunette :laugh:
  • nickyfm
    nickyfm Posts: 1,214 Member
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    I seem to get A LOT more attention from men when I'm heavier (ie 8 pounds heavier than goal weight, where I am now). Probably coz my *kitten* is ghettolicious LOL. But I feel like crap at my current weight, so I'd prefer to lose some butt and a couple of men, if it means feeling good about myself!!

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