embarrassed to leave the house.. :(

I am a huge believer in the power of the mind. We are what we think. If I continuously tell myself that "I am a failure," then I will undoubtedly fail. It's just a vicious cycle. Negative thoughts are saboteurs. Try replacing negative thoughts with positive thoughts. It will take some practice.

You say that you have no free time. Think about your daily routine. Do you watch any television at all? Do you surf the internet? Those are free times. If you don't do those things, can you get up early in the morning to workout? What about your lunch break? Even a little exercise is better than none, and it does wonders for self-esteem.

Don't say you have failed, you can restart right now! I had a couple months where I stopped logging because of school stress, and I felt so terrible physically and emotionally. When I decided I needed to restart all of this, I took a couple of days to drink lots of water, get moving with some easy exercise (walks) and then I was ready to start logging my food again. I had to mentally ease myself back into it! Everybody does it differently but I believe we can all reach our goals.

In the first place, there is nothing wrong with long skirts and long sleeves. A bit of mystery can be a bit sexy.

Too many of us can't see ourselves as others do. Go to mybodygallery.com, put in your height, weight, and body type. The My Body Gallery project is real women, mostly dressed in ordinary clothing, not models or anything like that, and you get a better idea of what you look like to others. You can also put in your goal weight to get an idea of what you might look like at that weight. It's a great motivator! Then, to see how far you have come, put in your starting weight and see what you have accomplished!

What you believe is perhaps the most important part of making changes that last. If you feel bad about your weight and appearance, if you're frustrated about your injury, if you are embarrassed then it can be very hard to make changes that matter.

The past two years I spent getting myself as fit as possible. I was in a stuck place with weight loss which annoyed me, but my muscles had changed radically and I was even planning to do a tri-athalon in 2012 although I was sure I would be the heaviest woman in the event. (I have done 2 half-marathons and except for the friend who did it with me I'm pretty sure I was the heaviest at least one of them, but I didn't finish last in either of them.) In January my life stopped hard. I was discovered to have a brain tumor. I had two surgeries. I took awful drugs including steroids that made me gain a pound a day for more than a month. I slept more than 20 hours a day for more than a month. Being able to stay awake did not mean having energy enough to walk around the neighborhood. By the time I could I didn't want to be seen either and I didn't have a lot of clothes that fit me. When I got back to any kind of exercise it was mostly tai chi. Not a great fat burner, but important for waking up my muscles again. By the time I was ready to go back in the gym I knew I had to lose 60 lbs and I was not allowed to do more than 15-20 minutes of exercise and only if I had someone right beside me the whole time.

I tell you all of this to say this. I hear you. Do what you can. Do what you're willing to do. Even if it means you're doing a few yoga poses in your living room. I promise you when you start feeling a little change in your ability it will help you to want to do more. You'll be surprised how fast it can happen. Since September I've gone from being able to lift 35 of my pounds to being able to lift 90 of them while working on my pull-ups. My arms still don't look as good as they did a year ago, but I'm not ashamed to wear a sleeveless dress to a Christmas party.

You don't have as far to go as I did physically, but you might have the same emotional distance. Funny how that works. If I can encourage you, feel free to friend me. Sometimes we all need to hear we're not the only one trying to make a good decision and finding it hard.

Sounds like your problem is less weight related and more agoraphobia. Consider seeing a therapist; There are some who will come to your home. I had many issues with leaving the house and being in public and in crowds and therapy helped me immensely.

If you don't want to get therapy, the next time you feel poorly about yourself just think of me. I weigh almost 100 pounds more than you and I go out in public every day. I wear revealing clothing too. If I can do it at my gigantic 272 pounds, you can do it at your 190. ;-)

As a teacher, you know that you can get help with what sounds like agoraphobia. However, if it is not, I can tell you that I went on a cruise this summer and gained 12 lbs in two weeks. Do I regret eating what I did? No way and I knew that the scale would be higher when I got home. I didn't expect 12 lbs though. I just started walking again, watching what I was eating and recently, got back to MFP to track my calories. I am down 11 of those 12 lbs and back on my way to my goal. I am older and if I can do it, so can you! Good luck to you!

It's natural to gain some weight around the holidays and when under stress. I still think you look beautiful. You are NOT a failure. You are very talented and successful as an artist, as a teacher, and as a mother (hint: when your kids are pissed off and hate you, that means you're a great parent! LOL).

You're just going through a time of high stress. Roll with it. You've got some fun friends at work. Enjoy yourself there. Think of it as an escape from the house. Once your knee recovers you can hammer out the physical exercise size stuff. In the meantime... chin up and crank some tunes!

I'm pretty sure you're judging yourself much more harshly than anyone else is judging you.

I'm sorry you are feeling this way.

I agree with a few other people that it does sound more like a confidence, self esteem issue as opposed to an actual weight issue. I really think a few sessions with a therapist will help.

I'm also a believer in the "fake it till you make it" attitude. ie don't let the negative thoughts consume you. Act like the confident person you want to be and eventually it will happen.

I'm sorry you feel this way.... 155 is by no means "out of control"
I agree with other posters that it appears to be a little more of a self-esteem vs weight issue. I also agree with the fake it, til you make it attitude....

You CAN do this, you have to think day by day, or even minute by minute if it helps. Not sure what you do for work, but if you warm something up in the microwave for lunch, do calisthenics while it heats up. Walk around at least once an hour for 5 minutes if you sit at a desk all day.... anything to increase your calorie burn and decrease the amount of calories you take in will help, even if you don't have time to work out for 30+ minutes a day.

If it helps, find some weightloss/self-esteem/stress reduction motivational quotes or affirmations and post them around your home (on your mirrors) or in your car... anything positive can/will help.

I'm pretty sure you're judging yourself much more harshly than anyone else is judging you.

This! I think you are amazingly beautiful, strong and resourceful! You also are talented artistically - something I have no chance of ever being. Hang in there!

Read through the forum success stories on here. There are people with major physical, mental, and life challenges that have made major transformations. At 155 pounds.. you're either totally over reacting like a drama queen or you're suffering depression. You may want to seek out some professional help and counseling. Or just give yourself a major kick in the *kitten*...pity party over.

I agree with those suggesting agoraphobia. I suffered from this for over a year, which made my life miserable. My confidence was shot, and I lived with crippling panic attacks many, many times a day. The thought of one person seeing me, other than my family, was enough to send me into my bedroom closet.

If you are suffering panic attacks, I ask you to seek someone professional to speak with. It's not a lifestyle you deserve. You have vibrancy in your eyes, and a life out there to live.

Please feel free to add me as a friend. I've been there. It's hard, incredibly hard, but you can get through this. You are stronger than you think.

xoxo

5' 5" and 155 pounds isn't big. You need to remember where you were at 190 pounds and decide not to be like that again. Then remember how you felt at 140 pounds and think what you did different to get back there.

You look great and it does sound like a confidence issue. I am constantly having the same thing. I was over 370 pounds and now I am nearly 200 pounds lighter in 20 months. Every day I have to realise and remember what I have done so far and not go back to where I was.