Has anyone else dealt with the unsupportive husband/wife?

I have not had this problem with a husband, but have dealt with (ALOT) with friends, family, and roommates. I break it into 2 categories: 1) people who literally are in denial and have no idea that their food choices and lifestyle are making them fat, and 2) people who just don't care or aren't willing to give up what they like to make changes to better themselves.

In both instances, I find that ignoring them and persevering is the best option. It sucks, but you may have to go it alone for awhile. If your husband doesn't understand that crappy food choices are making him fat, maybe seeing you lose weight NOT eating that stuff will finally bring him to his senses. And if he doesn't care enough to better himself, that's his issue, that he has to work out on his own. You might have to deal with his jealousy as you start to look better - ignore it (in fact his comment that you haven't lost any weight might be his jealous way of trivializing your success).

I'm sorry you don't have support, but you seem very driven and you have successful so far. Keep up the good work! Maybe when your husband see's his hot thin wife he'll get his butt in gear!

Mostly unhelpful responses will be found on here... the most popular will be this:

Dump him.

But in all honesty -- if they're not supportive of you in this endeavor, what will they be supportive of? When you have the answer to that, I think you'll figure out what you need to do.

You can only do so much trying to convince another person to do things..

In my case I was so determined I didn't let my husband's habits influence me. He was always in great shape so he didn't see the need to stop bringing coke and sweets into the house. But it was ok - somehow I got into this mentality where I eventually stopped being tempted and did my own thing. It even got to the point where I cooked him his own dinner and I ate something else that meshed with my goals lol
Good luck! I'm sure you can figure something out

Hello, I'm new to mfp. I lost about 5 lbs before and now I am continuing my 'journey' here. I have found wonderful support on here but my husband is less than helpful. He refuses to admit that I've lost any weight while I have lost about about 13 lbs so far. Also, he brings out pies and cakes and chocolates all the time, which he knows is my weakness. Furthermore! He sits there and complains how he's not losing weight himself and how hard he is working but he eats McDonald's and bagels with extra cream cheese and the sweets I mentioned! When I offer to do my diet with him he continually says no. It would be so helpful to have a diet buddy and we could get healthy together. . . WHY THE HELL NOT!? Ugh, I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

This is the problem with getting married so early. Usually one or the other or both!! hasnt matured yet.....or will. So sometimes it ends up in a toxic relationships ie: Unsupportive etc...

Leave him come with here BEERRUNNER I will be your biggest, most awesomely tanned cheerleader......we shall work out, together!:bigsmile:

Hello, I'm new to mfp. I lost about 5 lbs before and now I am continuing my 'journey' here. I have found wonderful support on here but my husband is less than helpful. He refuses to admit that I've lost any weight while I have lost about about 13 lbs so far. Also, he brings out pies and cakes and chocolates all the time, which he knows is my weakness. Furthermore! He sits there and complains how he's not losing weight himself and how hard he is working but he eats McDonald's and bagels with extra cream cheese and the sweets I mentioned! When I offer to do my diet with him he continually says no. It would be so helpful to have a diet buddy and we could get healthy together. . . WHY THE HELL NOT!? Ugh, I don't know what to do. Any suggestions?

This is the problem with getting married so early. Usually one or the other or both!! hasnt matured yet.....or will. So sometimes it ends up in a toxic relationships ie: Unsupportive etc...

Leave him come tih here BEERRUNNER I will be your biggest, most awesomely tanned cheerleader......we shall work out, together!

How YOU doin?

I'm not saying he's unsupportive because he doesn't want to join a gym with me. He taunts me with my favorite food. While he thinks it's funny and harmless I find it mean spirited. I've been married for 5 years I know what a relationship takes.. I just wanted advice on how to be strong enough to say no to the sweets he waves in my face.

Yeeaaaa taunting you and encouraging you to fail at something you are trying to do.....thats kinda unsopportive. just sayin.

In general you have limited options:

1. Deal with it. It's annoying, but you can't put a gun to his head.
2. Put a gun to his head. Ok so, I lied. It's totally not legal, and I suggest not doing it. Guns are for killing delicious woodland creatures, not people.
3. If he refuses to comply with your request, you can leave him. Is leaving your husband because he refuses to stop waving sweets in your face a bit silly? Yeah. Then again, refusing to stop waving sweets in someone's face when they've politely asked you to stop might be considered a little silly too.
4 Try to continue to convince him that you'd really rather that he not do that. It's your call on how futile you think this effort will be.

You can always taunt him with something HE wants. And then doesn't get. Might be immature but it sounds like it might speak to him,..

Part of me wants to focus on how unkind and unsupportive your husband is being. But the reality is that it may be as simple as this: he's not ready to focus on his own lifestyle and intentionally or not is willing to sabotage your efforts. Odds are good that you're on MFP because you haven't always lived a healthy lifestyle in the past. Why didn't you do it two years ago? Probably weren't ready. Now you're wanting to eat right and exercise - fantastic! Do it! No one can stop you except yourself. Your husband can't. The tempting food commercials on TV can't. Your co-workers and friends and relatives can't even if they eat your favorite foods inches from your face. Only you can do it and only you can quit.

My wife has been generally supportive in the sense that she's thrilled I'm losing a lot of weight. But she hasn't changed her eating habits much at all. The rest of the family pretty much eats the same old stuff we also ate - too much pizza, carry-out chinese, and high-fat, high processed foods. She is buying fewer chips, and trying to hide her candy from the girls, but not much has really changed. Every day, every meal I have to prepare my own food - and most nights I have to get dinner for the rest of the family because my wife works too and is going to grad school. I admit that while I try sometimes to get the rest of the family to eat what I eat, they pretty much aren't happy unless I grab them a pizza or chipotle or chinese or make their favorite dishes. I do believe that my eating habits are slowly having an impact on the family. But the fact is that I consciously had to decide early on that I was going to do whatever it takes to eat right, even if that meant that I had to go to the grocery store and cook two meals or go pick up something I've always loved (e.g., tonight they're all have Indian food - my favorite!) and watch the rest of the family eat it while I eat a grilled chicken breast and a salad with a tablespoon of salsa or red wine vinegar. And you know what: although I get tired having to make sure 8 people (and sometimes 9 or 10, including the boys' girlfriends) have something to eat and then cook for myself - there's nothing any of them can do or say that will make me stop eating right.

You'll know you're going to make it when you adopt the same attitude. As long as you choose to let your husband's or anyone else's food choices have any impact on your choices, you'll be less certain to make it. If you really want to reach your goals, it shouldn't be a hard decision to make. And once you make the decision, really make it, it gets really easy.

I'm not saying he's unsupportive because he doesn't want to join a gym with me. He taunts me with my favorite food. While he thinks it's funny and harmless I find it mean spirited. I've been married for 5 years I know what a relationship takes.. I just wanted advice on how to be strong enough to say no to the sweets he waves in my face.

Grow a set gal. You know the answer. LOL

Hmmm, go out and buy yourself a really sexy piece of lingerie. Hang it up prominently where he can see it and inform him that you will put it on when you have lost X number of pounds or reached whatever size and not before. I expect he will become quite supportive of your efforts when he has some motivation. You will also have to be clear with him regarding the right ways for him to help you with your goal It would not be fair to expect him to never have any snacks in your presence, but perhaps he could limit the the type to not include your favourites.

My husband is the same way that your husband is when it comes to bringing home all kinds of junk food, fast food, liquor etc. but I don't look at it as though he is trying to sabotage me. He is just doing what he has always done (since before I lost the extra weight). I am the one who went on the diet and decided to lose weight, I don't think that it would have been realistic for me to tell him to stop eating what he wants to eat or stop bringing it around because I am changing. I just had to develop more self control, which I did and everything worked out in the end.

As far as him not mentioning your weight loss, maybe he really doesn't notice. It is hard for me to notice my own weight loss when I see myself everyday, it takes pictures to really tell the difference. I think a change in mindset on your part is all that may be needed.

If your husband wants to play that game I have a game you can play too.

Whatever offending food choice it is, take a serving, hell take two servings, you deserve it, portion it out on a plate, lick your lips and then throw it in the trash, it's your food, you can do what you want with it and they will stop playing that game fairly quickly.

He may feel threatened by your desire to get healthy; he may question your motives. I don't know what kind of relationship the two of you have, but I suggest that you calmly tell him that his actions are hurting you, and you know that's not his intention. Hopefully, if you point it out to him, he'll stop. It is unrealistic to expect him to stop eating the foods you both enjoyed in the past; it may just "feel" like he's taunting you. If he is, your retaliating in a petty, childish manner as some would encourage, is never a good move in a marriage. Men and women perceive situations differently. I heard a preacher say one time that men will say or do something that they think has the impact of a paperclip, but a woman will feel it as a brick slamming into her. Sometimes, they just don't get it!!! I hope things get better for you. Good luck with your new, healthful lifestyle!