What would you think if you saw self harm scars?

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BeautyFromPain
BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
in Chit-Chat
What would you honestly think if you saw self harm scars on someone? (Don't sugar coat it)...

I have been covering them up for years but it is coming up to summer and I would love to be able to wear shorts/dresses etc again. (I only have them on my thighs).

I'm not trying to show them off but does it mean I will never be able to wear dresses again?
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Replies

  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    I'd think, "That person went through some tough times." And if they were healed, I'd be happy that person was in a better place emotionally.
  • auzziecawth66
    auzziecawth66 Posts: 479 Member
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    Unless they are really bad I don't know if a person would even really notice unless they were looking for them...

    (and if anything I would just think I'm glad that person was strong enough to be able to get to a better happier place and not let their past get in the way of how they feel about their self now)
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    I would think "Hey. There's someone like me." I've got scars, too.

    Something that may help - most people don't know what they are looking at when they see scars. Even if they are all long, identical, similarly placed, etc - the only people who will know what those scars actually are will be people who have histories themselves, maybe those who have loved ones who self-harmed.

    It's a map etched into skin, but not everyone has the legend. That's always helped me feel less self-conscience.
  • mtabh
    mtabh Posts: 128 Member
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    I have them, too. Mine are all over. I wouldn't think anything of it, except mabye "glad those are scars and not fresh". Hang in there. Best of luck.
  • matchbox_girl
    matchbox_girl Posts: 535 Member
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    Don't hide them. They represent the person you use to be, not the person you are now. You went through bad times, and you overcame them. The world is allowed to know that.
  • kaseysospacey
    kaseysospacey Posts: 499 Member
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    I have them, I dont think about it or cover them.
  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
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    I'd think, "That person went through some tough times." And if they were healed, I'd be happy that person was in a better place emotionally.
    I agree!
  • BroiledNotFried
    BroiledNotFried Posts: 446 Member
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    I don't understand the behavior. I'd think the person had some deep emotional issues, or at least did. I'd proceed with caution around the person until I knew better.

    But, to be honest. I'd llikely think the scars were from an accident. Perhaps the person ran into a barbed wire fence while biking. I think the best of people. But, once I know there are emotional issues . . . I handle the person very carefully.
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
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    I would think, "Hey, maybe I'm not as alone as I feel."
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,224 Member
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    I don't know that I would recognize them as self-harm scars. I am covered in scars, and would pray that the person did not endure what I did when I got mine. That aside, my scars are part of me and the experience that brought them about is a huge part of who I am. I don't hide them and nobody asks.
  • Madholm
    Madholm Posts: 167
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    Honestly I knew a girl with scars and the only thing I ever said was that if she was tempted to do it again to let me watch.

    It was a joke, but I didn't think much of her having the scars since she seemed pretty well adjusted at the time.
  • SomeoneSomeplace
    SomeoneSomeplace Posts: 1,094 Member
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    I have them too on my thighs and feel kind of embarrassed about them. Luckily they're really high up so they really only show if I'm in a Bikini or something. I guess that makes me more sensitive to noticing self-harm scars on others. If I saw that I'd understand that they went through something, if I was really close to the person, like dating then or something I might ask them about it or just offer them a listening ear if they ever wanted to tell me about it. But it would make me a little more cautious about the person especially in a romantic situations, I'd like them to be at a point in their lives when they are more stable. But I don't hold the past against people.

    Mostly people who've seen mine have been boyfriends, it can be a tough conversation to have, since it's emotionally upsetting for someone who cares about you but if you assure them it's not something you do anymore etc my experience has been that people are understanding
  • MsDover
    MsDover Posts: 395 Member
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    I'd think, "That person went through some tough times." And if they were healed, I'd be happy that person was in a better place emotionally.

    This ♥
  • dakitten2
    dakitten2 Posts: 888 Member
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    One of my sisters used to do this. My thoughts would be that I would hope that this person has finally found peace in their life and no longer feels the need to cut.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I would think that I'm glad they're still in the world. Then I would forget I ever saw them, and judge the person by who they are today.

    The world can be a frightening place, but there is also a great deal of kindness in it.
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
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    As you are hearing, I think they are pretty common.
  • Rum_Runner
    Rum_Runner Posts: 617 Member
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    Honestly, if they were healed I would be happy to know that person hopefully found hope and help to cope with whatever caused them to harm/cut.

    If they looked new - I would wonder what what going on to make them want to do that. If I knew them personally, might offer an ear to let them vent. But its not my business otherwise- I'd just hope they would find the help they need to avoid cutting/harming in the future.

    No one knows others struggles - no room to judge!!
  • BeetleChe13
    BeetleChe13 Posts: 498 Member
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    As long as they're definitely healed I wouldn't think much about it. In fact, I might admire that the person was strong enough to stop harming themselves. If they're fresh, it'd break my heart. :frown:
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
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    I wouldn't think anything of it. Although your username perturbs me considering your question!
  • BelindaDuvessa
    BelindaDuvessa Posts: 1,014 Member
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    If they were fresh, I would be concerned. If they are healed, I imagine that the person has adjusted since that time period. I work at a jail and see it often enough from both ends. I actually think I'm the only person that noticed them on the arms of one of our nurses. Other people hide it better. One girl even talked to me about it. But I try not to look down on anyone for it. I'd rather help the person through whatever they need, if they are willing to let me. But that is always their choice. I don't ever bring it up, unless they are already open about it. And I don't see a reason to hide them, especially if you have moved on.

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