Breaking the "Fat Girl" Mentality

I have been at my goal weight for 2months and sometimes I still feel fat. Because of the amount I lost I have excess skin and still need more toning.. I know I will never be skinny and that was not my goal. I am fit and off all meds which I have acomplished and am very proud of that. I really cannot believe I was as big as I was. I have a hard time with clothing sizes, not quite sure if I believe the number on the tag. It is less than high school (40 years ago). Mind boggling!!!! At the moment I still have a fear of gaining the weight back and struggle constantly to stay within a 5 lb range. I am hoping this will come more easily in the future.

I definitely still picture myself how I was before a lot of the time. When I go shopping, I immediately go for the bigger sizes even though I know I'm a 4 now. I'll do a little cringe before I look in the mirror occasionally because I remember how much I disliked looking at myself.
I've lost 35 pounds, and am only about 10 away from my goal. But a lot of the time I still feel like I'm pushing 170.

I sincerely hope that it goes away one day.

I went from 210 in January 2010 to 130 now. When I was 210 I had no idea I was that big until I saw myself in pictures and even then, I couldn't believe it. Now that I'm 130, I don't believe it until I see myself in pictures again. Even in the mirror I see myself at around 160 (which is what I pictured myself at 210). It is a struggle. Only recently have I started to see a 'fit' girl in the mirror and its not all the time. Sometimes I look at myself and think "omg I'm HUGE", other times I see myself the way others do.

I've lost over 90 pounds, and while I AM still fat, I FEEL like I am still HUGE. I never think I can fit through small aisles or gaps in things, I am SURE that clothes won't fit me in the size that I know I am now, and they end up fitting fine, I still feel very self-conscious even though there have been several incidents that have happened lately that indicate to me that I am suddenly in a different "class" of overweight when it comes to how other people see me (I never even realized that was a thing). I have no idea if my brain will ever catch up, but I really hope it does.

I still feel the exact same and probably will until my stomach is flat.

I lost 145 pounds (gained 30 back, but working my way back down) and I've always felt huge. I had to remind myself all the time that I'm not 300 pounds anymore. I forget my weight easily -- the other day I was trying to enter so info into a calorie calculator and didn't realize I added 50+ pounds to my current weight. Whoops.

On the contrary, every day I take a few minutes before bed to lay down and feel my ribs and the small hollow between them, and in the morning I flex my arms and feel my newfound collarbone and feel the edge of my jaw. My favourite is hunching my shoulders a bit and seeing these hollows I have above my collarbone.

It's so awesome because I've been fat all my life (never up and down, just steadily up) so I don't remember being skinny at all. I think it's cool discovering new parts of myself and I can't wait to find new things. I think I will have a very prominent collarbone when I lose the rest of my weight. (60lbs to go)

I'm smaller now than I've been since I was 15 years old (I'm almost 41 now). I still get startled by my shadow sometimes, or my reflection if I catch it in my peripheral vision. But when I look in a mirror, I still see Fat Angie... Only when I see photos, does it click that I've really lost well over 100 pounds. I honestly don't know if I'll ever look into a mirror and see what others see.

I freaked out the first time I felt my hip bones. I thought "WTH is that? I have a tumor!" Same thing with my ribs. I'm an intelligent person. I KNOW that I'm not Fat Angie anymore, but I still see her in the mirror. I guess it takes longer than one year to change what you have seen staring back at you in the mirror for 25 years...

I've lost 67 pounds so far and I'm now in my healthy bmi range but I do still feel like a fat person.

I am far, far beyond "fat girl mentality" and I am in full-blown body dysmorphic disorder, as diagnosed and still in therapy for. I wish it was so easy as to lose OVER 200 lbs, regain a substantial chunk back, get it together, work my tail off and lose it again AND look ever better than better... AND be able to see it and be able to accept the compliments I get for it without thinking they are backhanded.

I'm still hopeful that with continued hard work, someday I will finally see what everyone seems to see and I will stop nit-picking everything about myself. I am hopeful that I will no longer feel FAT at a 136-137 lb size 4.

Wow. You should be so proud of what you've done! The fact that you didn't give up and did it again is amazing. I hope that the learning experience will motivate you to keep it off for life! You deserve it!!

I think it becomes a case of always wanting that bit more, which is often the case in our society. Once you have a flat stomach you want to be toned, once you have those slim arms you want to gain muscles etc.

I used to weigh 230 lbs, got all the way down to 145 lbs, but not a healthy way. I felt/looked terrible at 230 lbs and I felt/looked terrible at 145 lbs, I'm now back up to 182 lbs, once again feeling/looking terrible but now trying to loose it the right way but fear that I will never see it once I get there. My boyfriend tells me all the time that you have to learn to accept yourself as you already are in order to make and see the changes you want to see to improve yourself (On top of telling me that I look gorgeous as I am but he supports my weight loss decision so I can feel beautiful and healthy), but I can't seem to do that. I don't really know what I look like now to be honest, people tell me I don't look as much as I weigh but I feel like I still look 230 lbs. I think it comes down to time to adjust, strength to accept the changes despite what your mind is telling you from years of what it's used to, and being able to learn to love yourself inside and out. Good luck to all of you who struggle too with the "fat girl" or "fat boy" mentality, hope we can all see our beauty someday

Yeah, today while shopping, I literally forced myself to look in the misses section. I felt very uneasy, like I was trespassing or something. I don't know another way to explain it...For me, I believe, that my lack of self-esteem is creating this wayward thinking. I, also believe this way of thinking is fueling my addiction to cardio. I've been on this journey for over a year now, and my brain is not even close to catching up with the whole weight loss thing. It's crazy....

I know exactly what you mean. Yesterday while out shopping for Christmas gifts, I passed this store called Hollister (I think). I remember over the summer, I ventured in there fairly upbeat and confident with my forty pound loss, only to be scandalized by how small their sizes were! So yesterday, without my husband (who is so supportive), I glanced to the left. Glanced to the right. Nibbled my lip. And stepped back into the land of Tiny Sizes. I glanced suspiciously at the girl folding sweaters and didn't meet her eyes when she greeted me. I stared, debating the stacks and stacks of Little People jeans, again nibbling my lip. The girl comes over to ask me if I need help and I very nearly jumped out of my skin! Like I'd been caught about to steal the diamonds out of a showcase.

I thought for sure, she was going to look at me in pity and tell me that perhaps nothing would really fit. I steeled up my gumption and picked a variety of sizes in random jeans (I'm surprised I could find the courage to grab anything, to be honest) and this pretty white, shimmery sweater in an /ambitious/ medium.

I make my way back to the dressing room (at this point, I discovered their dressing rooms kind of suck with no bench or chair or /anything/ and for an upscale place, they need SOMETHING) following the dressing room attendant's lead. I stare at the jeans I have hung on the hooks and proceed to try things on like I'm about to be yelling, "LET THEM EAT CAKE" as the proverbial guillotine is about to come down on my fat booty.

One size didn't fit (and it was comical how badly this was going), but the middle size (yes, I did the goldilocks thing: small-not-to-be-really-expected, the-just-right-hopefully-please-Lord medium, and the-please-not-this-size-but-I'll-take-it-because-it's-their-largest-size-in-store. I was amazed! The medium-just-right size fit! And the medium sweater fit!

Still, once undressed and back into my street clothes, as I was leaving, and they were like "nothing worked?" making those cluck-cluck-please-spend-your-money noises, I STILL felt like I was in a land that I was outclassed in.

In the end, I didn't get chased out of the store and I fit into something I've been gearing up the courage to try to fit into for a few months now.

I am weirdly the other way. My mind has not accepted that I am morbidly obese. I refuse to be deeply affected, but it does bother me. I just feel like it will change and I will look the way I want again. I have been doing well this year but have lost 79 pounds previously, then sabotaged it. I recognise that now and I will be successful.

Me too. I never see myself as fat or thin, just always somewhere in between and that causes a lot of problems.

I thought I had a pretty good handle on my own size whatever my weight and up until I lost weight I did - I could judge pretty closely what size pants to grab to try on and be nearly spot on every time.

...now the other day I was folding the laundry and whenever I picked up a pair of pants that I KNEW to be mine my brain kept telling me they belong on my teenagers piles. I had to stop and look at the label for the brand to confirm they were my pants/jeans/shorts. Could not believe how weird it felt because my brain kept automatically telling me 'too small for you must be Miss A's or Miss J's clothes although I KNEW they were mine.


Weird.