thoughts on skinnyfat--men specifically but all welcome

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  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
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    For all of these women (and men) who are afraid of getting "hard". Have you ever touched someone with defined muscles?

    *closes eyes and goes to happy place*

    I think this fear is limited to women! lol
  • johloz
    johloz Posts: 176 Member
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    guys are scared of women who are too fit. i know this for fact.

    Not true. At all. You know what kind of men are scared of women who are too fit? The insecure ones. The same ones who want quiet, meek uneducated women with no opinions. Men with such weak senses of self that can't feel strong unless you are weak, can't feel intelligent unless you are stupid, and can't feel successful if you have a career.

    Are those the kind of men you want? No. So be as smart, successful, and fit as you can be and weed out the losers. There are plenty of great men who will be attracted to your character. I know THIS for fact.
  • SHHitsKaty
    SHHitsKaty Posts: 301
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    guys are scared of women who are too fit. i know this for fact.

    Not true. At all. You know what kind of men are scared of women who are too fit? The insecure ones. The same ones who want quiet, meek uneducated women with no opinions. Men with such weak senses of self that can't feel strong unless you are weak, can't feel intelligent unless you are stupid, and can't feel successful if you have a career.

    Are those the kind of men you want? No. So be as smart, successful, and fit as you can be and weed out the losers. There are plenty of great men who will be attracted to your character. I know THIS for fact.

    Agreed with this post! I know plenty of guys who go after girls who are toned and in good shape because they themselves, want to stay in good shape and are toned. I know for me, I bust my behind in the gym and give up eating certain foods so I can be healthy, I don't wanna date a guy who never enters a gym and eats whatever he wants while he continues to get flabby and gain weight. I wanna be with someone, am attracted to those that have the same goals and ideas as me.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    Would YOU be upset if you met a great guy and discovered he didn't have True Blood worthy abs? Then give guys the same benefit of the doubt. Any guy who expects a ~40 year old woman to have the body of a 20 year old needs his attitude adjusted.

    That's not stopping me from trying :wink: but I'm doing it for me, because I like pushing myself and finding out just what I'm capable of accomplishing. If you want to tighten up, weights are the way to do it. If you don't, you already look fabulous.

    So agree! There's more to consider besides ripped abs and awesome biceps when chosing a partner.

    I'm 29 and I had a kid by c-section. My midsection is a hot mess of strech marks and a nice scar. Will it ever be "hot" again? Who knows - I'm going to work towards it, but if I don't get bikini worthy abs, I'm ok with that. I just want to feel comfortable in any swim suit.

    And like Lorina said - if you want to get "tighter", lift some weights. If not, be proud of what you've accomplished :smile:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    For all of these women (and men) who are afraid of getting "hard". Have you ever touched someone with defined muscles?

    *closes eyes and goes to happy place*

    I think this fear is limited to women! lol

    oh there's no fear in my happy place, Im just thinking about touching a strong body....

    I am intimidated by the huge career lifters with gigantic veiny muscles that are roaring and can pick up cars. I kind of do not want them to cuddle me. But I will give them a thumbs up.

    But really strong guys, with arms like my thighs, and hamstrings I want to sink my teeth into, and the grin that comes from seeing their hard work pay off...

    I feel like like people who strength train are stronger mentally because they are constantly proving to themselves that they can overcome obstacles that are literally the next thing they cant do ... YET. but next week... next week I can do it. OR MAYBE NOW! RAWR!!!!!!!!!
  • GiddyupTim
    GiddyupTim Posts: 2,819 Member
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    as long as you have boobs :):p

    jk

    guys are scared of women who are too fit. i know this for fact.

    So wrong. . . . just wrong. [shakes head in dismay]
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    ^ FOR REAL

    all the guys that aren't "scared of too-fit women" should show up.
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
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    But, when the clothes come off, I am...a bit squishy. But, isn't it more womanly to be a bit soft?

    No. It is fine for you to like your body the way it is, but you don't have to imply that your body type is better in anyway than someone else's to make yourself feel good about it.
  • stljam
    stljam Posts: 512 Member
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    You are going to get all sorts of answers here. What's important is that you've reached your goals and you should be very proud of that fact. Very. If you want to change yourself further, go at it, but know that its for you.

    Another vote for this.

    A happy, confident woman improves her attractiveness as does a driven goal orient woman whether she's rock solid firm or a bit squishy.
  • brandi797
    brandi797 Posts: 8
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    My exercise routine is mostly limited to walking (I live in NYC, its what we do), and yoga. No weights, no cardio...no gym membership at all.

    what??

    ::looks around to double check what city i live in::

    no it's not.

    sure, we walk in new york.

    but we also run in new york.

    we lift in new york.

    we swim and bike and climb in new york.

    we even do a little yoga in new york.

    Well, I was talking about how in Manhattan we WALK as our primary form of transportation, as opposed to the degree of "pedestrianism" which occurs in nonmetropoltan areas. No need to be a jerk about it Captain_Apollo. And I'm so glad to hear about all your activities.
  • Philllbis
    Philllbis Posts: 801 Member
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    I say if you're happy with where you are, then good for you. I wouldn't worry about what other people think. I like all kinds and shapes of women. I think most of us would rather be with someone that is comfortable with who they are than with someone obsessed with how they look. It's fine with wanting to improve your health and fitness but again do what makes you feel good and don't worry about anyone else.
  • Yogi_Carl
    Yogi_Carl Posts: 1,906 Member
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    There is a happy medium between squishy and hard-bodied and that is 'toned'. Get lifting some weights, you don't have to aim for a hard body but definitely tighten it up!

    PS Well done on your weight loss so far!

    so - there IS such as thing as being TONED. I knew it - I bl**dy knew it. Thank you. Thank you. :bigsmile: :blushing:
  • speedracer2007
    speedracer2007 Posts: 53 Member
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    First, you are a beautiful woman. If you're really a tad bit soft I don't think 99% of men would never think about that. The 1% that would are probably body builders that are perfectionists and aren't worth being with long term...in my opinion. Most men will value your intellegence, your personality & your natural beauty.

    As for fitness, it would benefit your heart to include some cardio, and to tone utilizing weights doing some isolated exercises.

    Also, you've accomplished amazing things achieving your health goals and should be very proud ot that.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
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    My exercise routine is mostly limited to walking (I live in NYC, its what we do), and yoga. No weights, no cardio...no gym membership at all.

    what??

    ::looks around to double check what city i live in::

    no it's not.

    sure, we walk in new york.

    but we also run in new york.

    we lift in new york.

    we swim and bike and climb in new york.

    we even do a little yoga in new york.

    Well, I was talking about how in Manhattan we WALK as our primary form of transportation, as opposed to the degree of "pedestrianism" which occurs in nonmetropoltan areas. No need to be a jerk about it Captain_Apollo. And I'm so glad to hear about all your activities.


    sigh. all the amazing responses here, and of course you get all upset about mine. i did not word it in any way shape or form that most people would consider jerky.
  • laurenz2501
    laurenz2501 Posts: 839 Member
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    guys are scared of women who are too fit. i know this for fact.

    Not true. At all. You know what kind of men are scared of women who are too fit? The insecure ones. The same ones who want quiet, meek uneducated women with no opinions. Men with such weak senses of self that can't feel strong unless you are weak, can't feel intelligent unless you are stupid, and can't feel successful if you have a career.

    Are those the kind of men you want? No. So be as smart, successful, and fit as you can be and weed out the losers. There are plenty of great men who will be attracted to your character. I know THIS for fact.

    this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this this
  • ladytinkerbell99
    ladytinkerbell99 Posts: 970 Member
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    You are going to get all sorts of answers here. What's important is that you've reached your goals and you should be very proud of that fact. Very. If you want to change yourself further, go at it, but know that its for you.
    This.

    ^This
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    Just my opinion, but I'm pretty sure men like all kinds of women. And I think you are beautiful, and you have a beautiful, warm and inviting smile. I think any man would be very lucky and happy to be with a woman like you! And a man that wouldn't see your beauty, is not a man you want anyway.
  • Cranktastic
    Cranktastic Posts: 1,517 Member
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    It doesnt have to be either or.

    The women who want to look soft simply need to carry more body fat,
    BUT should still lift weights.

    you wont look muscular.
    because you wont drop as much body fat as the women who want to show more definition.

    but you will be happy with the results...i assure you
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
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    It doesnt have to be either or.

    The women who want to look soft simply need to carry more body fat,
    BUT should still lift weights.

    you wont look muscular.
    because you wont drop as much body fat as the women who want to show more definition.

    but you will be happy with the results...i assure you

    This.

    Men are stupid. Make sure you're happy, because you have to live with your choices more so than anyone else.

    I'm a man, and I approve this message.
  • MoreBean13
    MoreBean13 Posts: 8,701 Member
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    I'm sorry, but people who are totally comfortable with their bodies don't make posts asking strangers if they think said body type is acceptable. TO me, this suggests that even though you've had great success, there's work to be done before YOU are really happy with your results. That said, this:
    It doesnt have to be either or.

    The women who want to look soft simply need to carry more body fat,
    BUT should still lift weights.

    you wont look muscular.
    because you wont drop as much body fat as the women who want to show more definition.

    but you will be happy with the results...i assure you

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