No support from family or boyfriend...

you can only make changes for yourself, not others. you have to have the willpower to not eat that way, and if you dont, then CHOOSE not to go with. perfect example... my mom called yesterday and invited my husband and i to my little brothers football banquet... i know all the good food there, and i didnt think i would be able to resist it... so i declined the invite, and CHOSE not to go...

you cant change your boyfriend, you cant change your boyfriends mother, you can only make changes for yourself... it comes down to this... either you want to be overweight and unhealthy, or you want to be fit and trim, and live a healthy lifestyle... i choose the latter.

Before you make assumptions about me or my life based on one post, I suggest you hold your tongue and keep the negativity out of your post...I am not going to "f my boy toy" because he doesn't go to the gym with me...He supports me in every way and uses teasing as a way to keep me motivated...it's not bad or negative in anyway, it's just jokes...

Ummm ... teasing is not a way to keep anyone motivated, and by calling it just jokes, you're contradicting yourself. If it was in fact, "just jokes", you wouldn't have posted this at all. Bottom line is that they aren't supporting you.

Words hurt.

wow! you are the one who gave us all this info, asking for advice... then you get advice, and you get hostile about it because you dont like it? most WOMEN here are not going to support a man degrading another woman as a way of "motivation"... my take on YOUR POST, your boyfriend must be a major *kitten* for talking to not only a woman like that, but someone he is supposed to be in love with...

Before you make assumptions about me or my life based on one post, I suggest you hold your tongue and keep the negativity out of your post...I am not going to "f my boy toy" because he doesn't go to the gym with me...He supports me in every way and uses teasing as a way to keep me motivated...it's not bad or negative in anyway, it's just jokes...

why am I explaining this to you all anyway...my relationship status shouldn't really effing matter...
all I wanted was some friendly advice...not to be criticized about making "excuses" and "blaming it on others"
You guys don't know me....and are already making assumptions....which you shouldn't do, because it makes you look like an a-hole.
I really was under the illusion that this was a positive community....but i guess not.
Thank you to those who were positive, my faith has not been completely destroyed...but I am seriously going to think twice before posting anything else on the forums again.
Anywho...thanks again to all those who actually responded with advice instead of assumptions and accusations..

because you said you have a boyfriend and a mother in law... YOU SHOULDNT GET ANGRY BECAUSE YOU ARE CONFUSING PEOPLE... no one cares that you are not married and living with your boyfriend... really... no one cares... but when you are confusing people, then those people are going to ask questions... in order to clarify some things... mother in law, boyfriend... its like... YOU HAVE A MOTHER IN LAW AND A BOYFRIEND??? WHERES YOUR HUSBAND??? get it? wow, you seem very hostile here...

if i write a post than confuses others, im not going to be shocked if they ask questions for clarification...

YOU HAVE A MOTHER IN LAW AND A BOYFRIEND??? WHERES YOUR HUSBAND??? get it? wow, you seem very hostile here...

Lots of us with long-term partners call one another's parents "in laws" even though we're not married. So what. It wasn't the point of her post. If you can't respond to her post without clarification on the details of her marital status then you shouldn't be responding at all.

^^^This^^^

no, i dont care, i was responding to her anger at others trying to clarify. i could care less. i think its a bit confusing tho, when other were writing thier responses to her, not knowing if they should refer to him as husband, boyfriend... or the lady as a mother in law... my point was, other people were confused, and trying to clarify... she can call him a pink and green ground hog for all i care... but keep it consistant if she doesnt want others asking questions...

Thanks for your valuable contribution

no problem

I know I can't force them to change, but it would be nice for them to at least try to support me...

You don't want them to support you, you want them to do it for you. Decide to make it a priority and gain the willpower to make your own decisions.

Why does your mother in law do all your driving? Take control of your life! If there is a medical reason then fine. If not, get out there and get your license! I know you're getting mad a people saying you're making excuses...but you're making excuses. If MIL wants to stop for junk food YOU don't have to eat it.

At the end of the day, I think you have gotten some good advice out of this post (minus useless comments about calling your boyfriend your husband, etc). As much a pain as it is to be in an environment where you aren't supported, you can still have great success. Of course it would be nice to be surrounded by parents, friends, and significant others that had your back 24/7. Someone to push you to stick to those workouts or do a fitness challenge with you, someone to cook healthy meals together, someone to stop you from slipping back into old habits...we would all love that. Agreed, it would make things much more simple. I think there's probably one in fifty people who live in that idea environment. At the end of the day, no matter how much it sucks, the people in your life will only change if and when they want to. I still live at home with my parents, both of whom are overweight. They eat bad food and too much of it, have no desire to exercise, and really I think anything I've tried to explain to them goes in one ear and out the other. My mom continues to buy pills and powders and supplements and is forever confused why they don't work when she doesn't change what she eats or how active she is. You can always be positive and offer advice, ask them to come with you to the gym, cook them something healthy...but you can't make them change. I do things on my own. I work out alone, buy food alone...you get the idea. I don't think people were trying to be negative or upset you, but their point is that even though you may be fighting an uphill battle, it's still YOUR battle. You can achieve all your goals, whether they go along for the ride or not. Take time, look over your priorities. How bad do you want it? How important are these goals to you? What do you gain from them? Make a plan and keep those priorities fresh in your mind 24/7. If you're in a situation where something you're doing doesn't align with what you're trying to achieve, take note of it and make the change. You can't change your boyfriend or his mom, but they also don't get to make your choices either. Stick to your guns, do what needs to be done, and if they have a problem with you doing what is best for you and bettering your life, then I'd start to wonder what you mean to them.

we've been together eight years...so it's like we're married, and I call his mom my mother in law and variate between calling him my husband and my boyfriend depending on if I am mad at him or not...

Why would you call someone your husband if you aren't married? Time together is not the same as marriage, and I say that as someone who's been in a relationship for three years. I can't imagine calling my boyfriend my "husband" just because we live together. That's just crazy.

Who cares? She could call him the big pink bunny in her life if she wants. That's not the point of this post, but way to try to out-snark everyone on something completely meaningless. You should get a prize.....

I wasn't trying to out-snark anyone in some desperate cry for approval. I really don't give a flying leap who likes me and who doesn't. I was simply expressing my thoughts on how crazy it is to call someone your husband when you aren't married. The OP put it out there, and I commented on it. If she didn't want anyone to ask for clarification (and I was NOT the only one asking), then she shouldn't have used confusing terms.

My heart goes out to you. Anytime I say I am going to do it this time the reply is "I heard that song before." It hurts, but I keep praying for the day I reach my goal. I just had a set back. In 3 weeks I gained almost 13 pounds back. My back went out yet again. I got depressed, angry and felt like a failure yet again. I got up and dusted myself off. I am moving forward. I don't go to a gym. I sometimes can't walk. I use my chair and do exercise in the chair. I use bands for strength. I have exercise equipment here that was given to me in the past before back issues. I bought a bike at a thrift store for $10. When I can sit and stand I am on my bike and treadmill. My row glider I have to use caution. I am starting again 10 minute walks at 2.0/ 3 times a day and riding the bike 10 minutes. I will increase as body allow. I make sure I get 30 minutes total daily.

You can even use your broom as a bar and add bags with cans in it for the weight. Use your internet for aerobic videos. Step stool for stepping(be careful that it don't move) The length of your yard as your track. Outdoor steps for stair climber. Empty gallons of milk containers fill with water, one in each hand and do lunges. The list go on and on. We can't allow others to block our goals. When there is a road block find another route. I have to. When I can't move and on bed rest. I will do low carbs. It will be hard because I like real country food, not diet food. You will do it, believe in yourself and look for ways to reach your goal.:bigsmile:

^ What she said, but in a much nicer way then what I'm about to say.

Stop with the excuses. Yeah, you may think I'm being "mean", but it's the truth. I've been there and I know how hard it can be to have no support but guess what..the only reason I'm this way is because of me. So it is up to me to make changes. No one is force feeding me bad food. No one is tying me down so I can't exercise.

The only person I know at the moment in this place I'm at is my mom. And she's not exactly supportive or helpful in my weight loss. But you know what happens if she goes and buys fast food or junk food? I either ignore it or if I eat it, I make sure to budget it in or/and work it off.

I invested in an elliptical. And next year, I'm planning on joining a gym. If you can't do either, there are free workouts you can do from On Demand or youtube/hulu videos. There are so may things YOU CAN DO...but YOU are the one choosing not to do them. Your situation and issues aren't so insurmountable that there isn't a solution.

Like I said, you say that you've got no support - neither did I. That's why I came to MFP community and I've gotten some great online support. And the best support I've gotten is actually from those people you have said are mean.

I'd much rather have someone, like the lovable Yoovie - kick me right in my butt and tell me to stop having a self-pity party and DO something about it. The things people have said are the truth.

You want to change - do something about it. Stop making excuses and blaming everyone else. Take responsibility for your own actions and your life.

I completely disagree with alot of the negative posts in this feed. This is supposed to be a supportive community and here go some other members being judgemental and plain old rude. Don't post if you can't be nice, people! Weightloss is a challenge and it's even harder when those around you aren't supportive. And, it can make you want to give up. Keep your eye on what your reasons are for taking care of yourself. Take it one day at a time and you will find that it gets easier. Just focus on you and your goals. Don't beat yourself up. It's all about balance and you need to set small goals for yourself. Your story makes me think of that movie Fried Green Tomatoes. One of the main characters struggled with fitness and a very unsupportive husband. In the end, she found all the strength she needed inside. Tuwanda!

I completely disagree with alot of the negative posts in this feed. This is supposed to be a supportive community and here go some other members being judgemental and plain old rude. Don't post if you can't be nice, people! Weightloss is a challenge and it's even harder when those around you aren't supportive. And, it can make you want to give up. Keep your eye on what your reasons are for taking care of yourself. Take it one day at a time and you will find that it gets easier. Just focus on you and your goals. Don't beat yourself up. It's all about balance and you need to set small goals for yourself. Your story makes me think of that movie Fried Green Tomatoes. One of the main characters struggled with fitness and a very unsupportive husband. In the end, she found all the strength she needed inside. Tuwanda!

^^^^ Another excuse maker. It's nobody else's fault, don't rely on others for support, BE YOUR OWN SUPPORT SYSTEM.

Yeah, I think that even in the movie she realized that she had to take charge of her own life and that she'd been making excuses. Basically, she learned to be accountable for her actions.

And how is it negative to tell someone the truth? Just because it's straight out and not sugar coated doesn't make it negative.