Engagement Party AND Jack and Jill...?

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leblanc_kelly88
leblanc_kelly88 Posts: 68 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm not familiar with wedding celebrations....but is it normal/acceptable to throw yourself an engagement party and throw yourself a Jack and Jill? [this is NOT me] AND I'm pretty sure a bridal shower will be thrown as well as a bachelorette party....
I have my opinon on it but I want to see what other people think before I voice it.
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Replies

  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
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    I guess if you have no friends or family it's ok.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    I didn't throw "myself" anything...my friends and family did. If they chose to do all those sorts of parties, that's fine..but to plan them yourself? Yeah that seems kind of overdone to me.
  • perfectingpatti
    perfectingpatti Posts: 1,037 Member
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    I think the only way it wouldn't be tacky to throw yourself a party would be if you specified "No Gifts, Please" on the invitation. You can throw a party to announce your engagement and share the event with friends and family without asking/wanting gifts.
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
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    I think the only way it wouldn't be tacky to throw yourself a party would be if you specified "No Gifts, Please" on the invitation. You can throw a party to announce your engagement and share the event with friends and family without asking/wanting gifts.

    Yes, good point. There is a difference in celebrating your good news and gift whoring.
  • bokodasu
    bokodasu Posts: 629 Member
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    No? I mean, this is a question?

    Also, I have to look up what a "Jack and Jill" is wherever you are, 'cause here it means... uh, something you don't usually throw to celebrate a wedding.
  • andreanicole686
    andreanicole686 Posts: 406 Member
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    what the hell is a jack and jill? lol
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    what the hell is a jack and jill? lol


    Yea, this.
  • leblanc_kelly88
    leblanc_kelly88 Posts: 68 Member
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    I think the only way it wouldn't be tacky to throw yourself a party would be if you specified "No Gifts, Please" on the invitation. You can throw a party to announce your engagement and share the event with friends and family without asking/wanting gifts.

    Yes, good point. There is a difference in celebrating your good news and gift whoring.

    Oh no...they do not put "no gifts please" they want gifts. They dont have a lot of money and they are planning a wedding at a VERY expensive place. Her father is paying for part of it. But she put somewhere she would prefer cash.... The jack and jill tickets cost....plus there is raffles and such apparently. She made it known they WERENT registered anywhere yet at her engagement party.....

    My opinion...its all for money and gifts and i do not agree with it one bit. And I already have to be the awful friend who CANNOT afford her bridesmaids dress because I had a surgery in October and need another one in jan/feb and my medical bills are just too high for me to dish out 300+ on a dress, shoes, etc.
  • xsmilexforxmex
    xsmilexforxmex Posts: 1,216 Member
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    Throwing yourself a jack and jill bothers me. I had never heard of that until I moved to the North East and the whole purpose (from my understanding) is to get money to help pay for the wedding... So the couple uses their money to throw a party to ask for more money but still wants gifts in the rest of the parties they, or other people, throw. It's tacky to me and I don't go to them. This is modern society.. most couples live together already before getting married so they don't need to be showered with gifts save something nice for the money they spent on the wedding and inviting you to it.
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
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    I think the only way it wouldn't be tacky to throw yourself a party would be if you specified "No Gifts, Please" on the invitation. You can throw a party to announce your engagement and share the event with friends and family without asking/wanting gifts.

    Yes, good point. There is a difference in celebrating your good news and gift whoring.

    These ^^^ are about right.
  • leblanc_kelly88
    leblanc_kelly88 Posts: 68 Member
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    what the hell is a jack and jill? lol


    Yea, this.

    Jack and Jill is a way to celebrate for both of them. Instead of having a Bridal shower which is aimed specifically for the bride and her female friends and family. But there are 'admission' tickets you have to buy....its a way to raise money for yourself.

    PS they smoke ciggs and pot often so the money people give them is a joke to me....
  • leblanc_kelly88
    leblanc_kelly88 Posts: 68 Member
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    Throwing yourself a jack and jill bothers me. I had never heard of that until I moved to the North East and the whole purpose (from my understanding) is to get money to help pay for the wedding... So the couple uses their money to throw a party to ask for more money but still wants gifts in the rest of the parties they, or other people, throw. It's tacky to me and I don't go to them. This is modern society.. most couples live together already before getting married so they don't need to be showered with gifts save something nice for the money they spent on the wedding and inviting you to it.

    The way my mother explained it when I got engaged was that the family memebers throw the party for you. They can spend all their money but any money that comes in goes to the couple. Its a great idea when SOMEONE ELSE throws it for you...not when you throw it yourself....espcially after you threw your own engagement party...
  • jess7386
    jess7386 Posts: 477 Member
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    Admission tickets to a Jack & Jill? Please tell me the money isn't going to them, but to some sort of charity or something instead.

    Also, I absolutely HATE going to bridal showers, so I can't imagine dragging my poor fiancee to something he would hate even worse than me.

    We are having a destination wedding, & are putting "no gifts" on the invites, as we know attendance itself is expensive. This just screams wh*ring for money. I think this is one of the reasons our divorce rate is so high, because a wedding turns into an enormous, money-grubbing spectacle, rather than a celebration of love like it's supposed to be.

    That wasn't meant to be as cheesy as it sounds!
  • dayone987
    dayone987 Posts: 645 Member
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    I would pick one to go to and then make sure I had other plans when the other parties etc are happening.
  • Sarahbara76
    Sarahbara76 Posts: 601 Member
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    what is Jack and Jill ..I have heard of the nursery rhyme and the movie but you can't have a party at ether ........................

    NEVER MIND..SOMEONE ANSWERED ..THANKS
  • lorcart
    lorcart Posts: 406 Member
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    No? I mean, this is a question?

    Also, I have to look up what a "Jack and Jill" is wherever you are, 'cause here it means... uh, something you don't usually throw to celebrate a wedding.
    I was thinking...whoa! Well that's a pretty wild "wedding" celebration now! HAHAHAHAHA Glad I wasn't the only one! :p
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
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    If you don't have anyone to throw it for you, I don't see why you can't throw it for yourself. Generally, however, either someone offers to throw the party for you or you ask someone to do it for you.

    I don't know about a jack and jill party.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    I had a friend who did a Jack and Jill, they put it all together, didn't accept gifts and the only money they got came from the ticket sales - and even that half went to the food and the other half went to bringing her elderly grandfather out to her wedding - he otherwise would not have been able to come. It was also the ONLY party we had other than her wedding. It was nice, it was a steak night and then we went drinking and dancing.

    The couple that did it wouldn't let any of us (their friends) do anything, we all offered but the bride was a bit of a control freak and was worried things wouldn't get done the way she wanted them to.

    I think money whoring is horrible, there is NO need to have 3 parties before the wedding.
  • ravengirl1611
    ravengirl1611 Posts: 285 Member
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    all this is is a cash grab - you arent supposed to be the one holding the parties to begin with - either the jack / jill (also called a stag & doe or buck & doe) bridal shower/ bachelor party - maybe the engagement party - and if you do have an engagement party its just to let everyone know about the engagement and to give everyone a chance to celebrate it with you - no gifts required or expected (or shouldnt be anyway)

    Since this couple seems to be out to get everything they can get their greedy little hands on what I would do is attend all of the functions - but there would be no gifts bought (except for the bridal shower / actual wedding) and it would be a gift - no cash!

    I've seen other couples like this - a friend of mines sister and her now husband had all the parties - engagment (buy your tickets early) stag & doe (buy your tickets even earlier) bridal / bachelor and wedding - they ended up with so much cash (partially because they both have large families) they ended up paying for their part of the wedding and putting almost 30% down on their freaking new house - they're one of the biggest reasons I stopped giving cash as a gift

    I decided a long long long long time ago that IF (and thats a huge IF) I ever were to get married again it will be me and the honey going away somewhere and we might tell you all about it when we got back - already did the huge tada with all the bells and whistles and it didnt last so the next time I'll save the money.
  • serenapitala
    serenapitala Posts: 441 Member
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    I think the only way it wouldn't be tacky to throw yourself a party would be if you specified "No Gifts, Please" on the invitation. You can throw a party to announce your engagement and share the event with friends and family without asking/wanting gifts.

    Yes, good point. There is a difference in celebrating your good news and gift whoring.

    ↑↑Agreed↑↑

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