To all the men who think they are nice, take the Fedora test
Replies
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as for the test i failed right off the bat on the "leg shaving" question.
but to be clear i feel men and women are obligated to groom themselves.
It's more the issue that it is expected, and from someone you haven't met yet. Rather than something that you both believe in as a couple. Shaving both of your entire legs every day is alot more work than shaving your face or whatever, so the expectations on women to be well-groomed are, quite frankly, ridiculous and unfair/unequal.
Also, have you claimed you are a nice guy? if not, then this test is irrelevant to you.
In case you hadn't noticed, for quite a number of the men on the website who answered that question as you did, it doesn't appear that grooming is their top priority...
I'm more disturbed by the sexual expectations these jerks have.
Personal vendetta against men like me that have standards? I have no desire to sleep next to a chimp, I took care of myself and I expect my future wife to do the same not only physically but mentally and career wise as well.
The term "Nice" guy is subjective and to be honest if I knew you in person I would find your attitude very insulting as you yourself come across as a sexist pig trying to downplay men giving honest answers.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. I don't know if you actually looked at the blog, but i wouldn't say that many of these men are prioritising their appearance as you apparently do. I wouldn't want you to sleep next to a chimp either, so i hope you are dating humans.
Speaking of humans, these answers are disturbing BECAUSE they're honest. It's not a questionnaire for the greater good of humanity and science, it's a dating website. Most humans should have human decency- and that is not expecting that women give them sex for being nice guys; women dehair their ENTIRE bodies because this guy might shave his face and possibly wax his butt occasionally; and being phobic in general is actually just plain wrong.
How foes one define NICE? Are you saying you are NICE and women reject you for it? Because that is the point of the entire blog, and why it is funny. If you are not saying this, then it is not relevant to you. I am not doubting there are female equivalents to this 'nice guy' syndrome (although i doubt any of them are demanding sex as a 'prize' for being 'nice').
You sound like an idiot, so i will no longer engage with you on this topic. It will just be embarrassing for you.0 -
guys groom more than just their face.
maybe obligated is the wrong word.
and yeah the guys that said girls were obligated to have sex with them was pretty scary. and on top of that they were dumb enough to answer the question.
Most men who are into grooming are still not grooming as much as women are into grooming, but yes, i take your point, although the actual point is the word 'obligated'. it is upsetting.
'dumb' enough is actually not true, it is ****ing DISTURBING that any man does or thinks anything like that, but we know unfortunately they do, or there would be no rape or sexual harassment in the world. I guess they figured they were hiding in some sort of anonymous internet hole, alot of them wouldn't even know they'd made it to that blog. Or they think those attitudes are acceptable. If there are that many men thinking that **** is ok, then i'd rather it be out in the open and addressed rather than guys 'pretending' they don't believe in rape in ANY circumstances, but secretly thinking there are some situations where it is fine.
Just to be clear to all you 'nice' guys, unwanted and ongoing sexual behaviour is NEVER EVER ok. EVER. Don't do it. Ever. Even if you think you 'got away with it' you didn't. If she wasn't ok with it in any way, you committed a crime and violated a human being and she knows what you did.
Woman rape and sexual harass as well...just so you know.
So this concludes that OP should back off from the keyboard right about now and have the thread locked and burnt into ashes as the topic is not even relevant to fitness or the men on this site. If you however were subjected to any ill treatment from a member on this site then I would suggest you contact Mike and have it sorted....
Actually, i posted this in the 'general chit chat' area, where i have noticed an astounding amount of topics not relevant to health or fitness. I have also noticed many people posting somewhat sensitive topics, and getting attacked for it- or even harmless topics.
This is not personal for me, i found it amusing and slightly disturbing. others also seemed to find it funny. i found it more disturbing seeing some of the responses such as your own, prompting me to respond as i have.
I hope your close, personal friendship with Mike makes you feel better, and i dearly hope you can get this topic shut down before it's too late!!!!!0 -
I am so tired of the phrase "friend zone" for this exact reason!
I never heard it before i was LMAO at this blog!! Ah dear, sometimes you got to laugh.0 -
GuysOfOKC is amazing and sad all at once. Do these guys think that their female friends are machines, and if they put friendship coins in then some sex will fall out?! "I'm a NiceGuy, but I will judge you if you don't shave your legs or if you refuse to sleep with me. I'm entitled to some sex." - if you think that, then you're not a nice guy, you're a misogynist pig who wouldn't know what to do with a girlfriend even if he could get one.
Love it! One of my favourite responses on the blog is this:
"help i think i might be one of those "nice guys" and i dont even mean to. i know its not a good thing to be like this. WHAT DO I DO?"
Anonymous
"wash the cheeto dust off your hands and stop expecting sex and/or praise for basic human decency.
I believe in you friend there is hope for you yet!"0 -
Take a break, have some coffee and perhaps enjoy some chocolate cake as well and then return with a better mindset before attempting the "Self Righteous" attitude with me.
PS - Don't forget to log it though...
On a serious note...OP I understand where you are coming from but do realize we are all but human...we all have flaws and some of us still need to experience life before being mature enough to make rational decisions. I have seen people get married time and time again at a young age only to get divorced 10 years later as they grew as person and realize what they really want out of life.
I am 25 so having a high sex drive it is obvious I would be more focused on the visual aspect of a woman and after spending years together I would become attached and love her in a much deeper level then I wouldn't even care if her breasts were dragging behind her.
However at your age I would expect much more of you than attacking us all on site, you chose this platform and I am challenging you into a debate...not getting personal and calling you names.
As for being the "Nice" guy...what is it? Being the doormat or the fact of respecting someone?0 -
Okcupid has quite a few poorly worded questions (as a majority are user submitted)
If it were worded "I prefer women with shaved legs." there would likely be no issue.
While someone can choose to skip questions, it still contains the same core idea.
The expected sex thing I can't think of a rational rewording or a mistaken idea. Meh.
Also sort of concerned how a person's religious beliefs make them a not-nice-guy.
(abortion, homosexuality, etc.)
But meh.0 -
Take a break, have some coffee and perhaps enjoy some chocolate cake as well and then return with a better mindset before attempting the "Self Righteous" attitude with me.
PS - Don't forget to log it though...
On a serious note...OP I understand where you are coming from but do realize we are all but human...we all have flaws and some of us still need to experience life before being mature enough to make rational decisions. I have seen people get married time and time again at a young age only to get divorced 10 years later as they grew as person and realize what they really want out of life.
I am 25 so having a high sex drive it is obvious I would be more focused on the visual aspect of a woman and after spending years together I would become attached and love her in a much deeper level then I wouldn't even care if her breasts were dragging behind her.
However at your age I would expect much more of you than attacking us all on site, you chose this platform and I am challenging you into a debate...not getting personal and calling you names.
As for being the "Nice" guy...what is it? Being the doormat or the fact of respecting someone?
You actually seemed to feel very attacked, you were quite angry as your previous responses made very clear, and as i said prompting me to respond as i did. You didn't sound very intelligent in those responses, again prompting me to respond as i did. And i did also feel angry, because you were missing the point, and speaking about women as being 'apes' if they don't shave their legs every single day to please you.
I am a strong debater, so apologies for shooting you down in flames, and you feeling like i needed to cool off when perhaps it was yourself feeling very personally attacked. I do not like it when people make throwaway remarks about rape and sexual harassment, i feel i need to make it very clear that none of that is ok. And while, yes, i am aware that women do this too, the statistics are heavily in favour of men being the main perpetrators of sexual violence. Heavily. But i was in no way saying ALL men do this, i was responding directly to comments people posted.
However this if off the point of the original post, so let me explain again:
I never attacked men, the topic doesn't attack men, it is a link to a blog where men who continually go on about how nice they are turn out to not be so 'nice' by their clear responses on a dating website. they are contradicting themselves. it is humorous. i'm sure there is a female equivalent but i happen to be a straight female and therefore this is the website in regards to dating men that was sent to me.
I found it amusing because i regularly see men post topics on MFP in this exact 'chitchat' section about how nice they are, but the chicks only want to be friends with them, and they seem to think it is because 'women only want to go out with dbags'. As though they should be rewarded for being nice, which in fact is not nice behaviour. they can feel sad for themselves, but perhaps, as the blog makes clear, there may be other reasons as to why women you want to sleep with don't want to sleep with you, and those reasons are clearly evident in the contradictory responses. such as maybe you aren't as 'nice' as you thought you were.
The questions are directly from the dating website.
If you have never seen the website or did not get the point of the blog, then i am sorry you were offended.0 -
I don't need a website to tell me how much of a *kitten* I am0
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TLDR, but I think I need a shower to clean this thread off of me all the same0
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Okcupid has quite a few poorly worded questions (as a majority are user submitted)
If it were worded "I prefer women with shaved legs." there would likely be no issue.
While someone can choose to skip questions, it still contains the same core idea.
The expected sex thing I can't think of a rational rewording or a mistaken idea. Meh.
Also sort of concerned how a person's religious beliefs make them a not-nice-guy.
(abortion, homosexuality, etc.)
But meh.
This is true about the poor wording of the questions.
However the point is still the same, the blogger (and posters) are saying that, actually perhaps you are being rejected because you yourself are being unrealistic in your expectations of women. And yes, perhaps they are rejecting you because they don't care if you think they should shave their legs, or don't like that you are a homophobe. Not because you are just so damn nice!
It is not saying you ARE definitely NOT nice because of this, but perhaps you aren't so nice as you think you are. It's not a scientific study. The real point is wanting to be rewarded for being nice is an exact contradiction of being a nice person. People who are truly nice just get on with the business of being nice- comforting their friends when they are upset, for one, and not expecting anything for it.
Anyway, it's meant to be funny. I'm glad at least a couple of other people found it to be so.0 -
Take a break, have some coffee and perhaps enjoy some chocolate cake as well and then return with a better mindset before attempting the "Self Righteous" attitude with me.
PS - Don't forget to log it though...
On a serious note...OP I understand where you are coming from but do realize we are all but human...we all have flaws and some of us still need to experience life before being mature enough to make rational decisions. I have seen people get married time and time again at a young age only to get divorced 10 years later as they grew as person and realize what they really want out of life.
I am 25 so having a high sex drive it is obvious I would be more focused on the visual aspect of a woman and after spending years together I would become attached and love her in a much deeper level then I wouldn't even care if her breasts were dragging behind her.
However at your age I would expect much more of you than attacking us all on site, you chose this platform and I am challenging you into a debate...not getting personal and calling you names.
As for being the "Nice" guy...what is it? Being the doormat or the fact of respecting someone?
You actually seemed to feel very attacked, you were quite angry as your previous responses made very clear, and as i said prompting me to respond as i did. You didn't sound very intelligent in those responses, again prompting me to respond as i did. And i did also feel angry, because you were missing the point, and speaking about women as being 'apes' if they don't shave their legs every single day to please you.
I am a strong debater, so apologies for shooting you down in flames, and you feeling like i needed to cool off when perhaps it was yourself feeling very personally attacked. I do not like it when people make throwaway remarks about rape and sexual harassment, i feel i need to make it very clear that none of that is ok. And while, yes, i am aware that women do this too, the statistics are heavily in favour of men being the main perpetrators of sexual violence. Heavily. But i was in no way saying ALL men do this, i was responding directly to comments people posted.
However this if off the point of the original post, so let me explain again:
I never attacked men, the topic doesn't attack men, it is a link to a blog where men who continually go on about how nice they are turn out to not be so 'nice' by their clear responses on a dating website. they are contradicting themselves. it is humorous. i'm sure there is a female equivalent but i happen to be a straight female and therefore this is the website in regards to dating men that was sent to me.
I found it amusing because i regularly see men post topics on MFP in this exact 'chitchat' section about how nice they are, but the chicks only want to be friends with them, and they seem to think it is because 'women only want to go out with dbags'. As though they should be rewarded for being nice, which in fact is not nice behaviour. they can feel sad for themselves, but perhaps, as the blog makes clear, there may be other reasons as to why women you want to sleep with don't want to sleep with you, and those reasons are clearly evident in the contradictory responses. such as maybe you aren't as 'nice' as you thought you were.
The questions are directly from the dating website.
If you have never seen the website or did not get the point of the blog, then i am sorry you were offended.
To be honest I love debating and I have to say I appreciate the fact that you stand up in what you believe in. I took the time and read carefully through the site and I get what you are saying about men that think being "Nice" woman should feel obligated to have sex with them...I wholeheartedly agree with you.
However I have standards when choosing a potential mate, from having certain personality traits to the way they handle confrontation. I am picky and I have the right to be as I only have one life to live so I get to be anal about it. You know the biggest problem with anyone "nice" is the level of insecurity, the fear of being rejected or the overwhelming shyness to approach someone in public. I know for a fact so many guys beings friends with woman who are head over heels yet they are too afraid to share their true feelings.
I personally avoid online dating sites as actions speaks louder than words, if you can't win her heart in person how do you expect to keep it when you are together? These nice guys/gals just need to grow a backbone and learn to play the game, if you feel being overweight is hindering you then get in shape....same goes for money, power, charm and whatever you need to be more appealing to the opposite sex.
PS - English is not primary language so with the fast typing I might lose you in translation, I apologize for that0 -
as for the test i failed right off the bat on the "leg shaving" question. but to be clear i feel men and women are obligated to groom themselves.
It's more the issue that it is expected, and from someone you haven't met yet. Rather than something that you both believe in as a couple. Shaving both of your entire legs every day is alot more work than shaving your face or whatever, so the expectations on women to be well-groomed are, quite frankly, ridiculous and unfair/unequal.
Also, have you claimed you are a nice guy? if not, then this test is irrelevant to you.
In case you hadn't noticed, for quite a number of the men on the website who answered that question as you did, it doesn't appear that grooming is their top priority...
I'm more disturbed by the sexual expectations these jerks have.
Personal vendetta against men like me that have standards? I have no desire to sleep next to a chimp, I took care of myself and I expect my future wife to do the same not only physically but mentally and career wise as well.
The term "Nice" guy is subjective and to be honest if I knew you in person I would find your attitude very insulting as you yourself come across as a sexist pig trying to downplay men giving honest answers.
You're just mad you failed the test, bro.0 -
my fiance has a fedora LOL. uh oh. i don't shave my legs the entire late fall winter months but he doesn't care about that. although he onlly got it when he started working at a hat store, and didn't want to wear the same hat all the time. so he says anyway...0
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I don't care what kind of guy I am as long as I get to keep my fedora0
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The only thing I think I learned from that is that I apparently like jerks who wear hats.0
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The only thing I think I learned from that is that I apparently like jerks who wear hats.
Who loves ya baby0 -
This site just made my life! I should be going to sleep because I work in the morning but instead I am looking at endless pictures of "nice guys" and laughing.... totally worth it0
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I don't care what kind of guy I am as long as I get to keep my fedora
NEVER let ANYONE stop you and your fedora from a long and happy life together
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No lie I thought it read:
NiceGuys O Fokc!!!
Because really, O Fokc...girls are slutty and like men who are abusive and terrible human beings.
Or is it O Fokc girls just don't give them a chance because they think they are less manly men
Why I want a nice guy: because I love looking at couples where the man is holding his woman's purse, telling everyone about his brilliant beautiful insert dreamy adjective here wife, a guy who holds doors because he's not afraid of being second into a building and the kind of guy who buys whatevertheheckitis because it made her smile, who does what she wants to do to the point of doing things he doesn't enjoy. Basically, I look at these couples and think: man if only you married an *kitten* you could raise two kids alone because your hubby ran off with whateverhernameis because after all girls are slutty he's manly and women are terrible human beings.0 -
I don't think there is anything wrong with a man wanting his woman to have clean shaven legs. And, for him to say so does not keep him from being a "nice" guy. It's part of grooming and taking care of yourself. As far as other comments made on that site, yeah...the guys are dbags. And, pretty fair statement...if a guy has to say "I'm a nice guy", than most times he's not.0
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All I know is I'm a misogynist pig. And I don't own any fedoras.0
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GuysOfOKC is amazing and sad all at once. Do these guys think that their female friends are machines, and if they put friendship coins in then some sex will fall out?! "I'm a NiceGuy, but I will judge you if you don't shave your legs or if you refuse to sleep with me. I'm entitled to some sex." - if you think that, then you're not a nice guy, you're a misogynist pig who wouldn't know what to do with a girlfriend even if he could get one.
Yes, a thousand times YES!!0 -
I just want to know how long you have to pretend to be nice before you get the reward.0
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I had no idea this was a trending problem in the world, but I'm not a woman on the receiving end of sexual advances from male friends, and I'm not a self-described 'nice guy'. The last time I heard anyone say "friend zone" was a Chris Rock standup from like 2 decades ago.
This is both funny and weird.
These guys really don't get it.0 -
Have you ever tried to explain to one of these "nice guys" why they aren't getting girls? I tried once in the nicest way possible and it was like three semi trucks carrying livestock smashing into each other on I-5 going through L.A. during rush hour--not a pretty sight.
P.S. I thought by telling him it would help him in the long run...nope, he didn't want to hear it.0 -
my hat box sits in the attic, the only object therein supporting no dust, stained with tears0
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lmao I refuse to be the fat guy in the fedora. Glad to say I own ZERO!0
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