Family saying I am getting too skinny when I am not?

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nintento64
nintento64 Posts: 17
in Health and Weight Loss
Does anyone know why families fail to show support when it comes to fitness/losing weight/health?

I think it's because they are overweight themselves but because they don't do anything about it they have to put others down for actually taking action...
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Replies

  • Lozze
    Lozze Posts: 1,917 Member
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    Without knowing anything about you (how tall are you? How much do you weigh? What do you want to lose?) it's impossible to say.

    Sometimes your family is jealous. A lot of times they care and worry.
  • SueGremlin
    SueGremlin Posts: 1,066 Member
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    The solution is not to talk to them about your weight loss. If they start, change topics or leave the conversation.
  • Amberonamission
    Amberonamission Posts: 836 Member
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    The second I told my family about my weight loss was the second they started sabotaging me. Food gifts are a constant now. So funny because before this they would have never sent me food.

    The best thing I have learned this Christmas is that I am not saying one more word to anyone about this. I can handle it alone. I am going to have to.
  • brevislux
    brevislux Posts: 1,093 Member
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    We can't really tell. It is possible that they're right and they're just worried about you. It could be that they have a skewed idea of what's healthy and what's skinny. We can't know which is true.
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    Based on your avatar photo they might be correct. Your round head is as big as your torso. I'm no expert but I think your torso should be at least two if not three times bigger than your head.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
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    It can also be because they consider themselves normal sized. I suffered from that delusion. But Lozze is correct, maybe you are too skinny and are in denial on the other end.
  • acogg
    acogg Posts: 1,870 Member
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    Based on your avatar photo they might be correct. Your round head is as big as your torso. I'm no expert but I think your torso should be at least two if not three times bigger than your head.

    ROFL!
  • straightjacketjacob
    straightjacketjacob Posts: 74
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    I think they just want you to feel good being you. My grandma is always trying to feed me.
  • victoria4321
    victoria4321 Posts: 1,719 Member
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    I think they're just not used to you looking different. I used to get the too skinny thing too. After keeping the weight off for quite some time no one says that anymore.
  • brtrentgl
    brtrentgl Posts: 130
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    Does anyone know why families fail to show support when it comes to fitness/losing weight/health?

    I think it's because they are overweight themselves but because they don't do anything about it they have to put others down for actually taking action...
    that's probably it, the people that see you a lot or what their used too is so different. My family asks me why I want to lose weight and I'm at 180# lol
  • beachpoodles
    beachpoodles Posts: 30 Member
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    I think many people are content with where they are and have never felt or researched enough to possibly improve their own lifestyle (they may not need too). Families and food = love to so many and I dont always feel people are doing because they are jealous, when many times, they just don't get your goals or why you are doing it.

    Talk to your family in depth about your goals......you could be surprised on the positive reaction, or not but its worth trying. I have a few family members now on FP because I shared information, its amazing when people GET IT :)
  • Missjulesdid
    Missjulesdid Posts: 1,444 Member
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    When my younger sister was preparing to enter her senior year of high school, She wanted to lose weight so I put her on a sensible but strict diet (1800 calories a day since she was active, No grains/starches.. lots of protein lots of vegetables and also some fruit and some healthy fats) Over the course of 9 months she lost from 220 down to 160. That's just 6.5 pounds a month.. certainly not an unhealthy weight loss. Now her ending weight was 160 which at 5'5" is still in the "overweight" category.

    You would not BELIEVE how many adults grilled her on her eating habits and suggested that she had an eating disorder and was getting too thin. Not just family members, TWO teachers at school also approached her on this! I don't understand why... Maybe because she had been overweight for her whole life and people just couldn't get used to her new size? I wonder if it also had to do with her shape.... she was and still is an extreme pear shape.. so when she was 160 pounds, her top was a small and yes, you could see a few ribs, but her bottom was a 12/14. Maybe they only noticed her top as she was quite good at camouflaging her bottom half. I don't think it was jealousy that inspired these comments. I do think it was genuine concern, but still it was annoying and even a bit offensive so I understand your frustration.
  • fiberartist219
    fiberartist219 Posts: 1,865 Member
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    I would just dress conservatively and only talk about it to people that are supportive.
  • Larela
    Larela Posts: 17 Member
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    I ignore my family when it comes to this kind of stuff. My side of the family has all sorts of eating disorders so I figure their opinion is skewed so it doesn't count. My husband's side of the family is tall and skinny so they will never understand weight issues. I usually change the subject.
  • Larela
    Larela Posts: 17 Member
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    .
  • Larela
    Larela Posts: 17 Member
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    Based on your avatar photo they might be correct. Your round head is as big as your torso. I'm no expert but I think your torso should be at least two if not three times bigger than your head.

    Lol !
  • vtmoon
    vtmoon Posts: 3,436 Member
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    So did we come to a conclusion?
  • Minki1990
    Minki1990 Posts: 44
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    Does anyone know why families fail to show support when it comes to fitness/losing weight/health?

    I think it's because they are overweight themselves but because they don't do anything about it they have to put others down for actually taking action...

    My dad flipped when I told him I want to lose more weight and gain some muscle to be a fitness model. I don't think they truly understand what being healthy means, they associate being in shape as anorexic or having a eating disorder.
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    If they are accustomed to being around people that are heavy or unfit, that becomes an adjustment to what is their "normal" view of people, so slender people can suddenly seem too thin (even if that person is the same size they have always been). And they may be saying it out of concern (even if the concern is misguided).
  • cjsacto
    cjsacto Posts: 1,421 Member
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    I had a couple people tell me I was thin enough and didn't need to lose more weight as a way of trying to be complimentary and supportive, in their way. They were trying to tell me I looked good. (Note, this was NOT recent, this was many years ago when I did lose quite a bit of weight... which has now crept back on. On my current efforts, no one has really noticed yet.)

    Anyway, I found it a bit condescending and a little insulting at the time, as I clearly was still bigger than the people telling me this. To me, it was a blatant lie, like telling someone their lousy food tasted good or that a bad haircut looked nice. But, I think they were well-intentioned and had no ulterior motives to sabotage me. I just looked a lot better than I used to and they couldn't picture me thinner than that.

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