my family is ruining my christmas with food

victoriavoodoo
victoriavoodoo Posts: 343 Member
in Motivation and Support
Or, more accurately, without it.

My grandparents go to sleep around 5pm, so they decided christmas dinner will be at 3:30 and no eating before that(or we're cheapening all the hard work cooking the meal) or after. We all flew to Portland this year to visit their favorite child, my uncle, so no car or means of getting food. It is 2:20 and I have been up since 7 with nothing to eat and am very frustrated.

How do they expect me to not eat everything in front of me when we finally sit down, after waiting all day for it? If I go in the kitchen and try to eat something my grandmother will stop me; just tried. They're all overweight and southern so no one sees the indulging that will happen later as a problem, except for me.

I am 21, putting me just above the age where they think snacking is acceptable. My little cousins can snack if they want before the meal, but even if they let me the snacks provided are egg nog and m&ms. The adults have just been putting away bottle after bottle of wine, which they do not consider me old enough to drink.

It is going to be very hard to not attack all the food when it's served.

Today sucks. =[ I feel like I have been set up to fail.


Edit: not really expecting a fix just feels good to rant. thanks for commiserating lol
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Replies

  • a_certain_shade_of_green
    a_certain_shade_of_green Posts: 134 Member
    that just sounds like a massive chore! i really hope you get through it
  • Keto_T
    Keto_T Posts: 673 Member
    It's one day. It sucks but do the best you can and get back into your comfortable routine as soon as you can.
  • Keto_T
    Keto_T Posts: 673 Member
    And bribe the younger cousins to bring you food.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    Oh dear, that doesn't sound like a great way to get through the day!

    But if you've managed so afar (could you not have had breakfast?) then another hour is going to be manageable, yes?
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    I'm a total b*tch if I get that hungry and would get very angry and resentful at people trying to prevent me from eating! What jerks!
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    Ugh! That is crazy. My mom tried that at Thanksgiving - ummm just because we're eating a big meal at 5:00 doesn't mean we have to starve until then! I served breakfast that day and a light lunch today even though we'll have a big meal later. That would be tough though to not be in your own house. Next time you'll have to sneak in some snacks and go hide somewhere and eat! :ohwell: Good luck and enjoy your meal tonight - sounds like you've earned it!
  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
    I'm thinking 21 makes you old enough to bring your own snacks and make decisions on whether you can eat them or not and when.
  • victoriavoodoo
    victoriavoodoo Posts: 343 Member
    Oh dear, that doesn't sound like a great way to get through the day!

    But if you've managed so afar (could you not have had breakfast?) then another hour is going to be manageable, yes?

    Grandma and aunt started cooking yesterday; for the rest of us to eat breakfast would have been rude apparently.
    Yeah I'll make it another hour. I'll probably go crazy at the meal though.

    Spacing food out is something I've been working on since joining here and I think it is a big part of what works for me. meh
  • carrietehbear
    carrietehbear Posts: 384 Member
    That is truly frustrating! I hate being in situations where I have no control over my food. When I travel I try to take snacks for me so I know I will have something I can eat when I need it.
  • Zylahe
    Zylahe Posts: 772 Member
    When u do sit down, fill your plate with as many veggies as possible and eat them first.
    Can you try to get out of the house and go for a walk?
    That might help get your mind off it.
    Or maybe do some excersizes, j jacks, squats, pushups can be done in a small area.
    That way you can at least start to burn of the caliroes before hand.
    Also as evyone will say it is just one day.
    If you can limit the excess to eating at maintenance, then it means you will reach your goal one day later, so its not a complete disaster.
  • victoriavoodoo
    victoriavoodoo Posts: 343 Member
    I'm thinking 21 makes you old enough to bring your own snacks and make decisions on whether you can eat them or not and when.

    Come tell my mawmaw that lol. Her grown *kitten* kids don't get that luxury on holidays. I know I'm supposed to appreciate the time I have left with these people but they make it hard sometimes haha
  • jerbear1962
    jerbear1962 Posts: 1,157 Member
    When you get the chance to eat, take your time set your fork down between bites and enjoy the food as you chew it. Drink plenty of water and remember you haven't eaten all day...so if you end up with extra calories for this meal it's that one meal for the day. Do your best and I hate to say it but years from now you will miss those days. Merry Christmas
  • UWZander
    UWZander Posts: 70
    Relax. It sounds like you just need to take a five minute walk by yourself to calm down. People this time of year get wayyyy to stressed out.
  • victoriavoodoo
    victoriavoodoo Posts: 343 Member
    I'm a total b*tch if I get that hungry and would get very angry and resentful at people trying to prevent me from eating! What jerks!

    Yeah it's a tradition but we're usually home not out of town; at home I can drive off if I want. No car here makes me frustratingly dependent on the general consensus.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    Could you get a cup of tea? That might take the edge of your hunger.
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    I'm a total b*tch if I get that hungry and would get very angry and resentful at people trying to prevent me from eating! What jerks!

    same here. my family is southern and the same way on thanksgiving and xmas. i usually got a pass on the snacking because i will very quickly turn into she hulk when i'm angry and my family realized it was just easier to let me eat when i'm hungry instead of stopping what they were to spank me (when i was a kid) every time i said something sassy.


    a squeaky wheel gets oiled.

    also for next year, maybe you can offer to make pre dinner snacks. and i by offer i mean you say i will be making them and eating them and anyone who wants to stop me can just as easily be wearing them :laugh:
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    This is why people hate family time at the holidays. Can you walk to a store? I know that the south is not known for it's walkability, so I understand that may not be an option.

    Your best bet is load your plate up with protein first, leaving very little room for the carbs. This will fill you up and keep you full so you won't be as tempted to snack later.

    It's just one day. Back on track tomorrow!
  • PikaKnight
    PikaKnight Posts: 34,971 Member
    Sorry, but I know that it is tradition and all, but it is too bad you can't sneak out of the house and have a small snack or something. I mean, sneaking about to eat is bad...but...so is starving to the point you binge when you finally get to eat.

    Can't your family maybe start a new tradition or revise the old one to include something to snack on prior to the feast? Maybe having a vegetable or fruit platter about to graze on?

    Edited to correct typo
  • char316
    char316 Posts: 72 Member
    Next time bring snacks. I always do even when I visit my daughter. For right now, do whatever you can to get through the day. God Bless.
  • threeonethree
    threeonethree Posts: 182 Member
    Rants feel good. lol

    Today was just a small bump along the road. You'll be okay! I had to eat a couple pieces of fruit and a kashi bar to keep my eating on track. Didnt have a proper lunch. :\
  • verptwerp
    verptwerp Posts: 3,659 Member
    Sounds like torture ....... do the best you can ........ and when you finally sit down, eat veggies & protein first ...... also, if you watch everyone else shovelling food in their faces, it might help you stay in control !

    Merry Christmas, anyway !

    tardis_zps589c6229.jpg
  • kimmeyjo
    kimmeyjo Posts: 57 Member
    I'm sorry, but rude or not I will eat when I'm hungry no matter what anybody says. I would grab something to eat out of the fridge whether they liked it or not. End of story!
  • mhcoss
    mhcoss Posts: 220
    OP fasting occasionally is good for you. Don't worry about it and just control your portions when you are served.
  • algebravoodoo
    algebravoodoo Posts: 776 Member
    21 not old enough to drink? Dang, what part of the South are they from? Most of us have our alcohol baptism by the age of 12.

    Being the youngest of my siblings, I have run many covert operations to provide pre-holiday meal sustainance for the elder kids, even causing myself to have a nosebleed too close to the pumpkin pie one year :happy: . That caused a big stir among the hens in the kitchen!
    Unfortunately, this is a Southern thing, although I am not sure why, because the women were always in the kitchen testing the food. Eventually, when we could no longer rely on my cute-factor, we learned to hoard snacks like hamsters in anticipation of such days. Now that you know this is a liklihood on holidays, just make yourself a stash, in your luggage, bedroom, somewhere safe, of healthy snacks to tide you over without hurting anyone else's feelings.
  • love22step
    love22step Posts: 1,103 Member
    That's a strange family tradition, but you can't pick your relatives. I guess you'll never convince them that eating small meals throughout the day will help prevent overindulging at the main meal. Hopefully, you'll have your own family before too long and make new traditions. I hope you made it without getting too out of sorts. Merry Christmas!
  • Sabine_Stroehm
    Sabine_Stroehm Posts: 19,263 Member
    I'm thinking 21 makes you old enough to bring your own snacks and make decisions on whether you can eat them or not and when.
    This.

    No one in my family really eats how I do. I take responsibility for the choices I've made big picture, and therefore the decisions I make on a smaller scale.

    I just did Christmas with 12 folks, including a 95 year old, a vegan, three people who won't eat "anything green" and a guy who "hates cheese". We made stuff. Everyone knew when it would be served.
    And everyone know they'd have some stuff to eat, and some stuff they hated.
    And, we eat took care of ourselves til it was time to eat.
    For me, that meant having some cheese while we were cooking, and a bit of celery. Oh, and I had a protein bar in my bag if needed.
    It's christmas. It's one day.

    To me, the way to make a "lifestyle change" as cliched as that sounds, is to take responsibility for your eating choices, with the constraints you face. And on this one day, you punt. You do the best you can.

    ps: I went for a 5k run this morning
    and a 40 min walk after dinner.
  • AndiNorwich
    AndiNorwich Posts: 25
    from now on, hide non-perishable snacks in your purse, like contraban. and remember, when you take that trip to the bathroom and stand by the bathroom door to eat, that you are doing yourself a favor. it doesn't seem fair that their obese habits need to be shoved down your throat. I understand the show of respect, but it works both ways. It doesn't sound like they have done anything to deserve respect. So do a couple trips to the bathroom, eat a protein bar.. and drink loads of water. It's not much, but it might help the next time that you are in that sitch. Family can be a downer. :( Merry Christmas tho :)
  • justkeepswimng
    justkeepswimng Posts: 506
    I know this doesn't always work, but have you tried explaining your dietary needs to your mamaw? Just tell her that you are trying to maintain a healthy way of thinking about food which includes eating small portions throughout the day and refraining from binge sessions. Tell her that to ensure that you do not binge when you do eat, you need to snack throughout the day. Explain that you would be happy to bring your own snacks in the future but whether she provides the snacks, or you provide the snacks that she cannot dictate how and when you eat. You are a grown woman.
  • fattypattybinger
    fattypattybinger Posts: 337
    I am sorry. I would go for a glass of Milk if avaibale that would fill you up alittle. In your Grandma's eyes you are still a kids. My son is 32 and I treat him like a child too at times. Then he reminds me he is an adult. On the flip side it is hard for me at times as I have a 9 and 11 year old
  • mhcoss
    mhcoss Posts: 220
    from now on, hide non-perishable snacks in your purse, like contraban. and remember, when you take that trip to the bathroom and stand by the bathroom door to eat, that you are doing yourself a favor. it doesn't seem fair that their obese habits need to be shoved down your throat. I understand the show of respect, but it works both ways. It doesn't sound like they have done anything to deserve respect. So do a couple trips to the bathroom, eat a protein bar.. and drink loads of water. It's not much, but it might help the next time that you are in that sitch. Family can be a downer. :( Merry Christmas tho :)


    Fasting isn't an obese habit....

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