why does my mum say this *kitten* to me???

You never deserve to be talked to like this. I can't even begin to imagine saying that to my daughters. I wish I could give you a hug and tell you that you aren't the problem and aren't responsible for any of your mother's issues. She is an adult and should start acting like one.

I am so sorry she treats you like this. Don't take on her problems, stay true to yourself, you are doing fine.

I'm not sure if it's constructive to say too much to your mom while you are living with her. If she feels that way, arguing with her about it is just going to be poisonous. It sounds like your goal is to get moved out and you just need to realize that people often look for excuses for the failures in their own lives and like to blame others. You need to realize that this isn't about you at all. Focus on what you can do to get moved out. Water off a duck's back in the mean time. I say this with the idea that you can find a way to move out in the relatively near future and it sounds like something you need to do. If you are going to be there for a while, it might be a good idea to let her know that there's no changing the past and being hateful in the now is only going to be harmful to your relationship with her now and into the future. I still don't know if I'd have that conversation while I was there if I felt like I could get out soon.

If the "brother beating me up" thing is still going on, that warrants a serious discussion, and one possibly involving the authorities.

No one can tell you why...

Seek help and seek it now.

This

Sorry you had to hear that. No child should EVER have to hear their parents say such hurtful things.

If it were me, I'd separate myself from this woman, and consider speaking to her in a few years. In the meantime, I'd find a counselor, and talk it out.. You'll feel better if you better your life, and chances are, she will STILL be miserable.

Do you live at home? If so, move out.
If you don't live at home, try seeking professional advice. We all mean well on here but there's no substitute for professional help. Good luck.

Nothing.

Your mother may have a personality disorder. Basically, she's evil and toxic.

Nothing.

Your mother may have a personality disorder. Basically, she's evil and toxic.

People with personality disorders are not automatically "evil" because of their disorders.

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But yeah, your mom is toxic. You probably have known that for a long time. I grew up w/ a mom like that too.

If there are churches, or any charity organizations, or a women's shelter that assists women who need to get away from abuse, try to get in touch with them so they can find you temporary housing.

I moved out when I was 17 to get away from a toxic environment. Sometimes it's what we've got to do. But I will say - reading your profile it seems like you've got your head together WAY more than I did. You have excellent goals, you just need to separate yourself from the ghosts of the past that are slowing you down.

You will get the life you want! *hugs* Make those calls pls?



p.s. the most important part: What she's saying to you isn't based in truth. And you absolutely do not deserve it. It's hard not to let someone else's disease sink into your own head, but try to remember - you're a good person, worthy of love and respect, you were born that way, and one day you'll get those things in abundance. *hugs*

If you're being assaulted, you need to call the police. No one deserves to be treated like that.