fighting through depression..

There are better days ahead. I've suffered from depression and anxiety since I was a child, and I can tell you, it definitely does get better. I still fight the depression from time to time, I still fall into slumps, but I've learnt to talk myself out of it. I've learnt to deal with it. And I've gotten to a point where I'm content more often than not. I'm not going to lie, much like weight loss, it's something you're always going to have to deal with. But one day you just realize, you're okay. Even when I do find myself in a depression, I still feel okay. I can't say when you're going to come to this realization, or whatever realization it is you need to come to. It depends on you, it's different for everyone. But you will be okay. Stay strong, and keep your head up. It really does get better.

Here's something I started doing a few years back that REALLY helped me. It may sound silly, but it really helped me so much. Do you like writing? If so, start keeping a journal, if you don't already. I know we tend to write in our journals in a way that, incase anyone ever comes across it, we don't seem too crazy lol. But in this case, you HAVE to write like no ones ever going to read it, because no one ever will. Everytime you feel depressed, stressed, anxious, angry, have a problem you're dealing with and need help, are upset about something, whatever it may be that your facing, write it out. It doesn't matter where you start, just start writing, and keep writing, no matter where it takes you. Don't worry about your hand writing or your spelling or anything like that. Let your thoughts flow onto the paper. Don't worry about staying focused on the issue, the point is to let the pen go wherever your thoughts go, and write for as long as it takes. I find writing on paper works a lot better than doing it on the computer, but that's just me. I think it's better to do it on paper though, so you're not worrying about grammar or editing. If you write for long enough, you find yourself writing about strange things, things that you never thought mattered, maybe things from your childhood, etc. Suddenly you find yourself coming to realizations. Sometimes those realizations are seemingly unconnected lol, but you came to it for a reason, and you will continue to come to more. Also, this form of writing can be emotional, and you'll find sometimes you cry. But that's good. You need to let it out. The reason this is so helpful, is because by writing your thoughts out, your actually forcing your mind to think with a clarity and focus it normally doesn't have, which allows you to make sense of your thoughts, feelings, and the issues that your facing. This is often one of the biggest problems with depression; we're thinking too much about too many things, juggling conflicting thoughts and emotions all at once, unable to focus on any one thing long enough to properly deal with it. So learning to calm our minds in this manner, think clearly and focus on our feelilngs, allows us to deal, and help ourselves. It's not a miracle, it takes time, but if you keep doing this, make this a habbit, you'll start to notice a huge difference in the way you think. This is basically forcing you to re-train your mind to think and problem solve more efficiently. And in time, you'll start doing this naturally, without needing the paper. It's hard to understand, but if you do this for a while and keep at it, you'll see. And when I'm done, I throw it away. If that makes you feel better, you can do that too. This way you know no one will ever read it, so you can write with absolute freedom. Because lets face it, these writings are going to be such a mess, you're never going to want to look back at it haha.

Yes. Diet and exercise can definitely help... Medication and counselling can help as well. A lot of it depends on the cause of your depression. PTSD is a major stressor and I am sure you are aware that stress is a major concern in both weight maintenance and depression. Bipolar disorder actually is most likely your true diagnosis in that depression is the primary state in most bipolar patients. That is a complicating factor as I am sure you are aware. Bipolar Disorder is especially difficult to treat because if antidepressants are not carefully used, they can cause a break through of manic symptoms... certainly not a desirable effect. If you are continuing to have problems with your depression, the best person to discuss this with is your psychiatrist. Not all depressions are the same. Some are caused by external stimuli, some by internal brain activity, some by stressors... Just because the symptoms are the same does not mean the causes are the same. Only a psychiatrist can best know how to adjust your meds to help you better. That being said, diet and exercise really do have a major influence as well as rest... (and bipolar disorder wreaks havoc with that as well as I am sure you are acutely aware)... Perhaps this is too much information but I am confident that better days can certainly be ahead... It is hard I know but do your best to press through to find them. Best wishes on your success in life.

don't accept any diagnosis off some randoms off the interwebs. you can accept support and motivation, but not diagnoses- only allow your dr to do that. and even then your diagnosis only indicates a bunch of symptoms- your experiences are the real issues. you are not your diagnosis.

as for depression- keep on moving. keep on getting up in the morning and brushing your teeth. keep on recognising when you have done something positive and pat yourself on the back for it. when things are going wrong, focus only on what you can influence- not the things that are out of your control. if you have a thought that keeps on going around and around in you head that won't leave you alone, get up and do something with your hands (like cooking, or a jigsaw puzzle, or artwork)- distract yourself.

truth be told, the depression may not leave. BUT how you cope with it can change, and therefore you won't allow it to affect your life so much. and it comes and goes in waves- people in general aren't always depressed. when you see something good or feel good, hang onto that feeling. revel in it. then when times are dark, try to remember what that felt like and keep reminding yourself that the darkness won't last forever.

things will get easier. the right treatment/meds/therapy/combination will do you wonders. but you're already boosting your own seratonin by exercising. and by now you should be feeling pretty happy with the achievements you've made so far- if you're not give yourself a mental slap and acknowledge how far you've already come.

I too am depressed. When I feel good about myself and what I am doing, then my attitude and mood are better.

Ahh I was "diagnosed" with major clinical depression at age 14. Put on some ridiculous drugs that made me crazy (paxil) and swore off antidepressants until I was 22 and it got so bad that i could no longer function. I feel as though I am mis-diagnosed, but i'm too chicken-**** to go to a real doctor and I'm functional on the meds i'm on now. I still get sad and angry... frequently, but i'm no longer so tired I can't get out of bed. I can concentrate on daily life now... and I can even make goals and work toward them. I'm relatively sure I'm actually mildly bipolar, but so far... i'm liveable. lol. Depression sucks. For me, at least, it's not like everyone thinks it is where you're like "Ugh, my life sucks and every thing is awful and I hate myself.. " etc etc. Some of it is like that... but I've learned to work through those feelings. It's like physical symptoms that get me. The extreme fatigue was my main one. I still struggle with ADHD-like symptoms.

Anyway, what I came here to say... is that surviving depression is one thing. Making a happy life despite your brains chemical imbalance is quite another. Strive for the latter. LIVE, don't survive. You're here, meaning you're at least contemplating the right kind of lifestyle changes. Just keep going. Keep swimming

Strive for progress, not perfection.
One day at a time.
Forgive yourself.

(P.S. I'm also an alcoholic...)
But the mantra's work for so many things in life.

Good luck to you. And friend me if you want. :flowerforyou:
Happy trails.

As a nurse, and with your diagnosis', you didn't mention if you were on medication or in any type of therapy. You are doing the right things, but a majority of people with your diagnosis' need therapy, meds or both. It's nothing to be ashamed of. Are you doing either or both of these?

I have anxiety, panic and mood disorders and to be honest, mine got better when I went off the meds. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. It's the worst.

I think it is possible to beat depression, I go through phases of feeling better, but something always brings me back down again, it's getting there though.
It's great you're eating well and exercising, I think that can help. I find keeping myself and mind busy seems to help too.

It is possible...I was very depressed recently for 3 or so years and it is something I have struggled with my entire life. This last bout from 2009-2011 was awful and I kept trying things that would help. Prozac helped me manage my negative thoughts and helped me deal with everyday life. I remember thinking exactly like you are, is it possible to get better? Is it possible, I felt like I had tried everything? Yes, it is possible! Keep trying girl! It will happen, keep getting help and trying different things. I read a book that helped me understand my depression and also helped me choose a medication that I felt was appropriate, it's called "Women's Moods". I highly recommend that you get it and read it. Good luck! Please feel free to friend me if you want a friend that understands what you might be going through.

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Yes, it's definitely possible. It may be a never-ending fight for many of us, but it is winnable, and you seem to have a lot of the right tools already. One to work on perhaps (if possible) is further developing your offline social support system.

As I'm sure you know, BPD can be tricky to treat but there are suggestions that symptoms reduce naturally with age/time. With both BPD and PTSD, the right therapist and style of therapy can make a world of difference.

Also, I'm not suggesting that anything is this simple, but I imagine that things will only improve for you when you are able to change your less-than-optimal living situation.