Were you ever in a relationship where...

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  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I'm going to play the devil's advocate here...

    How do you know the husband / ex-husband was on the up & up? Ok, so he got your number and saw some texts. Maybe they were still on the same plan. I am on the same plan with my ex, at least for now (legal recommendation). He has access to the account and can find out whatever he wants. Who cares. My ex is also a compulsive LIAR. Ok, my current situation may be different than hers as the papers are not yet signed (he's being an arsss & wants me to support him forever - NOT gonna happen!). However, you really don't know the situation.

    May not have been worth finding out the truth, but I'm just sayin' that he may not have been telling you the truth either. :glasses:

    Just by our phone conversation he said that its been rough but they're still together and married and he's trying to make it work.

    There was no way I was getting involved with that kinda complication in a relationship even if it was "over" between them in the woman's eyes.

    Plus we had sex...so i felt even worse for the husband when he asked if we did anything and there was no way I could tell him the truth. I just said "no, we didn't"...he was pretty much crying to me on the phone!
  • Stefanie7125
    Stefanie7125 Posts: 462 Member
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    Got you all beat. I dated a guy for three YEARS, we lived together and had a 9 month old son together when I found out he was still with the woman he dated before me. He traveled alot for work and actually lived with her too. Looking back, there were lots of signs, but for whatever reason I chose not to see them.
  • angel_marcelle
    angel_marcelle Posts: 101 Member
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    Yes..it's disgusting. I started dating a guy that I met out dancing one night... We went out for a month or so, then I saw him at a community event (he was a county sheriff) with his WIFE!!! I was so torn as to what to do... I wanted her to know what a scumbag he was, but I didn't want to be the one to tear a family apart. Never talked to him again.
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
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    There was no way I was getting involved with that kinda complication in a relationship even if it was "over" between them in the woman's eyes.

    Plus we had sex...so i felt even worse for the husband when he asked if we did anything and there was no way I could tell him the truth. I just said "no, we didn't"...he was pretty much crying to me on the phone!

    I agree. I would have done the same thing you did in your situation. I was just pointing out that there are always two sides to the story and not everyone tells the truth. My ex plays the pity card ALL the time! It's pathetic. Thankfully those who know see right through it. Hopefully, if it comes before the judge, he will too!
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
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    Got you all beat. I dated a guy for three YEARS, we lived together and had a 9 month old son together when I found out he was still with the woman he dated before me. He traveled alot for work and actually lived with her too. Looking back, there were lots of signs, but for whatever reason I chose not to see them.

    OMG!! How do you come back from that?? I've heard of these double lives, but never really think someone can carry it off. Must tale a lot of planning and deceipt. I hope the pair of you (women) kicked his *kitten*!!
  • obolton756
    obolton756 Posts: 261 Member
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    A guy once asked me on a date and about half way through dinner his phone kept ringing.. He claimed it was his mother.. He eventually confessed after I pushed it it was his fiancé.. Whom he was marrying the very next month.. Needless to say I made a swift exit!!!!
  • Stefanie7125
    Stefanie7125 Posts: 462 Member
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    Got you all beat. I dated a guy for three YEARS, we lived together and had a 9 month old son together when I found out he was still with the woman he dated before me. He traveled alot for work and actually lived with her too. Looking back, there were lots of signs, but for whatever reason I chose not to see them.

    OMG!! How do you come back from that?? I've heard of these double lives, but never really think someone can carry it off. Must tale a lot of planning and deceipt. I hope the pair of you (women) kicked his *kitten*!!



    This was back in 98 and it was not easy. I thought he was the perfect man; he spent alot of time portraying that character. Live and learn. He actually stayed with her for quite a few years after. He apologized to me a few years ago, told me didn't realize what a good woman he had. I think he was just lonely at that point and I was soooo over it, wasn't even tempting. Good riddance.
  • k8eekins
    k8eekins Posts: 2,264 Member
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    ...after a few dates you found out they were still married or had a bf/gf?

    Not quite actually, but moot. My betrothed and I knew what was to be - with us, despite the 17 years difference and that was that. He carried on with his long-time girlfriend and mother of his 2 children, with whom he was involved from when I was a toddler and I'd maintained my discretion with my boyfriend, whilst out on the town/city.

    Relevant to topic in the sense that given the circumstances, him needing to be with his "secret" family and my having to spend time with my boyfriend at the time as an independent teenager, allowed those awkward moments when my then future-husband would enter into a venue I'd entered to socialise with my then-boyfriend, to take liberties - with a kiss in front of my boyfriend, before he'd continue with his evening on site, or worse - he'd help himself to a seat, worsening an already uncomfortable evening, directed solely at my then-boyfriend.

    Just awful!!!

    * My boyfriend bravely dared date me, despite my former betrothed - for a semblance of normalcy in my life - then.
  • mdyorston
    mdyorston Posts: 158
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    There's a Guy at my work place who talks about his wife and kids then hits on me in the same breath (blatantly, "your looking so good" "Wish you'd let me take you out" ect).
    He's a really nice guy and i enjoy working and talking to him, but it just seems so messed up.

    If I make a commitment to be in a relationship with someone then that's it for me, and if I become unhappy in that relationship then I either get out of it or try and work it out. I don't think there is any excuse for cheating

    It's funny actually, if I see a guy I'm attracted to I go out of my way to talk to him, and if I find out he's in a relationship it's like an "turn off" switch gets flicked and I lose interest (romantically anyway).
    ^^ same here with the off switch...they are no longer sexual beings in my eyes
  • Maidofmer
    Maidofmer Posts: 908 Member
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    cant say that I have, but it happed to a friend of mine. almost killed the *kitten*.
  • mdyorston
    mdyorston Posts: 158
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    I was in a relationship for a couple of months with a guy who claimed he was legally separated. We used to stay out all night sometimes, well into the next day. Anyway one day he came over and got in my bed to sleep (without me) and something just clicked in my head. I asked him if he had been lying to me, he said yes. I asked about what and he was like come on let me sleep! REALLY?!!! I picked up the mattress and rolled him right off the other side ! We argued for awhile because he wouldn't leave..."it's the middle of night, where am I supposed to go?" he said.....I don't know, back to your WIFE?! f'n jerk
  • 33Freya
    33Freya Posts: 468 Member
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    That sucks that she lied. I tend to ask point blank, and I run from those who are separated (doesn't matter how long or how far apart they live). I tend to run if the divorce was too recent as well.
    I was an A student at the School of Hard Knocks!!
  • angelicasmommy
    angelicasmommy Posts: 303 Member
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    I am incredibly naive and gullible. Not so much now because of how many people have lied to me so much.
    Anyways...I met the father of my two year old in the workplace in January of 2009. From the first day we worked together, he hit on me constantly. About 3 months later, we started going out and we actually moved in together that same weekend (I know, so stupid) We had had a threesome with a girl who was a friend of a mutual friend of ours about 3 months into the relationship. Just before our daughter turned 1, I found out he had been cheating on me with that girl for the last 5 months. He also got her pregnant. We broke up and he is still with her. Then last year around November-ish, I found out that while I was pregnant, he also slept with my best friend! We are no longer friends.
    Then a few weeks ago I found out through our mutual friend who is best friends with the woman my ex is with now that they have been sleeping together since our threesome...so basically the WHOLE relationship.
    We were only together for just under 2 years but it still pisses me off and hurts at the same time and I can't figure out HOW I didn't realize this was happening. Now, I find it very hard to trust guys at all anymore. The other night, the guy I am seeing was texting a girl from work and I got a bit angry inside, and jealous. I hate that I will always feel like this because of some *kitten*.
    OH, and when my ex and I first got together, he was still living with his ex" (he said they werent together anymore) because they both were broke and couldn't afford to live on their own yet. He told me all these stories about how she had been cheating on him blah blah and I felt bad for him. I heard something early on about how she accused him of cheating on her with me and I ignored it, thinking she was crazy because they weren't together. Now it all makes sense. I think he cheated on her with me and lied to me.

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