Way off topic...Any advice?

well, i guess i am kinda in this situation?

my man and i actually bought a house together at our year anniversary. we knew by that point that we didnt want anyone else.

HOWEVER i must bring up the fact that now a year later, we picked out a ring , yet i have NO IDEA when i was actually be engaged. He knows how very much i want it, but im also trying not to push him... because we are so broke and hes the breadwinner... SO ANYWAY, thats my 2¢

in my VERY biased (insert major disclaimer here) opinion it kinda takes the fun out of getting married :ohwell: don't hate me you asked

The only advice I have is that EVERYTHING changes once you move in together. You will think it's cute to pick up the wet towel off of the bathroom floor the first couple times (Oh honey, you're just SO forgetful. ) but by the second month of doing it every day, it will turn into, "Will you PLEASE have the &$%#&# common sense to PLEASE pick up your &$^#(#)$&%&^ towel off of the %$&#(#% bathroom floor?"

At least that was my experience. But I also think it's good to move in together before moving forward, because then you'll know if you CAN live together and get along for extended periods of time. It was also a good way for me to train my hubby before we got married. So now I don't have to deal with the annoying things he used to do, because he knows better. :bigsmile:

As far as being too comfortable and never moving forward, it made my husband want to marry me even more, because he knew that he could be around me and like me exactly the way I was, because there's only so long that you can go without burping or farting or using the bathroom in front of your SO.

I would say if you want to do it, and he wants to do it, then you should try it. If it doesn't work out, you know you've made every effort.

I had a long distance relationship ... he in NY and me in CT for 2 years. We only saw each other on the weekends (where he would stay at my place) then he moved to CT into a studio apartment. Well, needless to say the poor guy only slept there by himself for a couple of nights before I "had a drawer"! Then I moved out of my place and in with him. We then rented a 1BR condo for more space. I have VERY old fashioned parents and really heard from them, but we tried to explain to them, that it was senseless to spend money on 2 places if we KNEW we would eventually get married. They didn't like it, but they got over it. He finally proposed after 4 years together. He carried me over that threshold of our condo door. We then bought a house. We are now on our second house, 2 kids and 10 years of marriage!
Good Luck!
Yes, you do get comfortable, BUT, you also get to know if you'll be able to stand the flaws he may have! You also may be pleasantly surprised that he actually does dishes, and his own laundry and cleans up after himself. Or you can train him to do those things BEFORE you get married!

Do what you think is best, I have been living with my fiance now for 1 1/2 years on our own and i'm only 19, i don't regret it at all. Just do what you think is best for you and him.

I also think its good to live together before you get married, because what if it turns out you can't stand living with him, it would be better to find that out before you get married, people do change once you live together

Men marry women hoping they never change.
Women marry women hoping they can change them.

I have been happily married for almost 16 years to my high school sweetheart, we've been together for over 18 years. I wasn't looking, he just happend to be a great friend and poof! They don't change, and if you want them to be someone different, it might not be right. Give it some meditating time...Don't force yourself into a situation you aren't ready for. But you probably already have had that thought.

Good luck!

Well, I met my hubby of 6 years online, and it was bliss...
Except that he lived across the country from me!:noway:

I told him I would never move in with him unless there was serious dedication and commitment - in other words unless we were engaged at the very least.

So that's how it all went down! He proposed, while I was visiting, and I moved to his corner of the country.
Yes, I think we all know that the "honeymoon" phase of any relationship is only so long, :smooched: and you start to see your mate in all their glory; flaws and all, but if you're ready to make that commitment to eachother (engagement) you're ready to say "I do" to it all, right?

That's my advice. Don't go jumping in to cohabitating unless there's commitment from both parties.
Just my $.02
Good luck!:flowerforyou:

Everything does change once you move in with someone, but if you are serious about being with a person eventually it has to. I think living together before getting married is a necessity. You don't really know someone until you have lived with them and you don't know how strong your relationship is until you wake up to them everyday and come home to them every night. Eventually the puppy love will fade away, however if you are with the right person it will be replaced by something much more special and long lasting. That being said, at 6 months your relationship is still pretty new. I'd recommend waiting a little longer before taking such a big step. Moving in, commitment-wise, is one step below engagement. And once you intertwine your lives like this it can be really hard to undo.

I am in a wonderful relationship with a fantastic guy. I moved in with him after 7 months of dating for financial/distance/want to spend more time together & ready for the next step reasons. I was hesitant that it was so soon, but we've now been living together for a year and our relationship just keeps getting better.

I think the most important thing to consider is whether you and your partner have good communication. If you can't voice your annoyances tactfully or listen respectfully when your partner does so, then you'll have a lot of problems. There are a lot of new things to negotiate once you move in together - like, who does what household duties, and yes, whether someone isn't picking up their wet towel off the floor. I felt comfortable with moving in because I knew that my boyfriend and I see eye-to-eye on gender roles and household expectations - we agree to split everything equally. Some things we have to compromise on - for example, he hates cleaning the bathroom and is not good at it, and I hate folding clothes and never get around to it, so I do the bathroom and he does the laundry.

Something else that has been helpful is we instilled a 25 cent fine for each time one of us does something that the other finds annoying, like leaving the toilet seat up, or leaving shoes in the middle of a walkway. The fines go to a vacation fund, which now has upwards of $150 :blushing: It's helped us to train each other in a way that ultimately benefits us both.

Something else that has been helpful is we instilled a 25 cent fine for each time one of us does something that the other finds annoying, like leaving the toilet seat up, or leaving shoes in the middle of a walkway. The fines go to a vacation fund, which now has upwards of $150 :blushing: It's helped us to train each other in a way that ultimately benefits us both.

That is an AWESOME idea. I am so going to incorporate that.

I am one that thinks you need to listen to your inner voice and decide if it is right for you. It can make or break a relationship, and in a very short amount of time.

I am not the best example, but I met my husband through some friends and hung out in similar places but rarely spoke for about two months, he asked me out on a date and eight days later I moved in with him, and we have been married for 15 years this July. We lived together for two years before marrying and it didn't take any fun out of getting married and it hasn't taken any joy out of 17 years together!

I have had friends that were questioning the idea and some make it and some didn't. One friend waited until she got married to live with her long time boyfriend (they dated for 5 years) and ended up in counceling because she couldn't stand that he took his clothes off and left them next to the bed and his spitty tooth brush on the sink.

Look inside and you will find the answer that is best for you.

Man you woman drive a hard bargain! First off, let me correct you all in saying WE ARE NOT "TRAINABLE!!!!!" If you think you can change us, there's the door, don't le tit slap you in the butt on the way out!

Ok now that thats out of the way, I HIGHLY, repeat HIGHLY recommend you move in together just to see what it will be like before you sign on the dotted line. My last (ex) girlfriend and I were together for a year, I got my first job with my degree, she moved to Atlanta with me, I planned on marrying her pretty quick when everything was right. Our parents were conservative, but I told them if you can't respect my ideas and way of life theres the door, they all got over it in abotu a week. Well Needles to say my diamond in the rough, after 9 months of rough, didn't get a diamond. Long story short she is way different to live with then to see all the time or have over on the weekends, etc.

I don't feel it takes the fun out of marriage what so ever, only you can be the judge of that. As soon as you become the "trainer" or "Nagger" you become the enemy. I recommend you guys sit down over some dinner or pillow talk ( beware pillow talk hell probably agree to anything, hes happy ) and discuss what you each expect out of each other and are expecting to do for each other.

If your worried that hes going to think "why buy the cow because the milk is free" you have the wrong mindset. If its meant to be its meant to be, honestly. I am getting my milk for free and I got engaged roughly a year and a half after I met my awesome girlfriend when I got back from Iraq. You can't force someone to propose, trust me satin, i mean hitler, i mean my ex tried to do just that. I tried everything but in the long run we were just not compatable and she made it easy by cheating on me with a 17 year old! ick she was 21!

Long story short, The worse thing that can happen is you find out , hey this guys the one for me and wait, I mean if hes the one whats the rush, he isnt going anywhere and probably planning on asking you anyway if he feels the same. Or find out, wow he is not who I thought he was, and he did not stick to what he said we agreed to in the beginning. Realize we all have our flaws ( mine happens to be leaving wet towels on the floor, I know cut my hands off!:noway: ) I try really hard not to do it but I do sometimes, Ive gotten better, but ocasionally I have a slip up.

Don't let others way of thinking control your life! Don't worry what x person will think. Do they have to live with you the rest of your life? Nope its all about you and your happiness until the end, what makes you happy you and only you can decide! Good luck!:drinker:

If I could do it all over again, I definitely would have waited. We were together for about 1 1/2 yrs, we moved in together, we got engaged about 4 months after living together, and now ive been engaged for 2 solid years....no wedding insight- haha

THe next thing I knew we were working overtime to pay bills, and had a baby in january!
Things change so much when you live together, suddenly you're doing loads of laundry, picking up towels and boxers off the bathroom floor, but it also allows you to see who this person truly is. So I dont regret my life with him, but I wouldve planned the wedding 1st, haha, before I got caught up in everything else!

Good Luck!

This is a tough one... :huh:

I personally wouldn't do it. I've always looked at it as "why would he commit when he already gets the candy for free". Secondly, the main reason given for moving in together - so that you can see if you like living together - is a lame reason for me. I think living with ANYONE requires an adjustment and compromise. BOTH people have to do their part for it to work... that holds true with ANY situation.

With that said... I do think living together works for SOME people. For instance, my friend had a horrible experience with her first marriage and is now divorced. She has already said that she will definitely live with the next serious guy before she marries him.

So, I guess what I'm saying is it depends on the situation... but if you've already discussed marriage then what are you two waiting for??? If you feel THAT strongly for one another then do it... who cares about how long you've been together. My hub and I were together for 5 months when we got engaged... then married 6 months later.. we just celebrated our 3 year anniversary.

If it's there then it's there... if it's not then it's not... ya know??? :flowerforyou:

Good luck! :bigsmile:

Kris