Way off topic...Any advice?

well, i guess i am kinda in this situation?

my man and i actually bought a house together at our year anniversary. we knew by that point that we didnt want anyone else.

HOWEVER i must bring up the fact that now a year later, we picked out a ring , yet i have NO IDEA when i was actually be engaged. He knows how very much i want it, but im also trying not to push him... because we are so broke and hes the breadwinner... SO ANYWAY, thats my 2¢

in my VERY biased (insert major disclaimer here) opinion it kinda takes the fun out of getting married :ohwell: don't hate me you asked

The only advice I have is that EVERYTHING changes once you move in together. You will think it's cute to pick up the wet towel off of the bathroom floor the first couple times (Oh honey, you're just SO forgetful. ) but by the second month of doing it every day, it will turn into, "Will you PLEASE have the &$%#&# common sense to PLEASE pick up your &$^#(#)$&%&^ towel off of the %$&#(#% bathroom floor?"

At least that was my experience. But I also think it's good to move in together before moving forward, because then you'll know if you CAN live together and get along for extended periods of time. It was also a good way for me to train my hubby before we got married. So now I don't have to deal with the annoying things he used to do, because he knows better. :bigsmile:

As far as being too comfortable and never moving forward, it made my husband want to marry me even more, because he knew that he could be around me and like me exactly the way I was, because there's only so long that you can go without burping or farting or using the bathroom in front of your SO.

I would say if you want to do it, and he wants to do it, then you should try it. If it doesn't work out, you know you've made every effort.

I had a long distance relationship ... he in NY and me in CT for 2 years. We only saw each other on the weekends (where he would stay at my place) then he moved to CT into a studio apartment. Well, needless to say the poor guy only slept there by himself for a couple of nights before I "had a drawer"! Then I moved out of my place and in with him. We then rented a 1BR condo for more space. I have VERY old fashioned parents and really heard from them, but we tried to explain to them, that it was senseless to spend money on 2 places if we KNEW we would eventually get married. They didn't like it, but they got over it. He finally proposed after 4 years together. He carried me over that threshold of our condo door. We then bought a house. We are now on our second house, 2 kids and 10 years of marriage!
Good Luck!
Yes, you do get comfortable, BUT, you also get to know if you'll be able to stand the flaws he may have! You also may be pleasantly surprised that he actually does dishes, and his own laundry and cleans up after himself. Or you can train him to do those things BEFORE you get married!

Do what you think is best, I have been living with my fiance now for 1 1/2 years on our own and i'm only 19, i don't regret it at all. Just do what you think is best for you and him.

I also think its good to live together before you get married, because what if it turns out you can't stand living with him, it would be better to find that out before you get married, people do change once you live together

Men marry women hoping they never change.
Women marry women hoping they can change them.

I have been happily married for almost 16 years to my high school sweetheart, we've been together for over 18 years. I wasn't looking, he just happend to be a great friend and poof! They don't change, and if you want them to be someone different, it might not be right. Give it some meditating time...Don't force yourself into a situation you aren't ready for. But you probably already have had that thought.

Good luck!

Well, I met my hubby of 6 years online, and it was bliss...
Except that he lived across the country from me!:noway:

I told him I would never move in with him unless there was serious dedication and commitment - in other words unless we were engaged at the very least.

So that's how it all went down! He proposed, while I was visiting, and I moved to his corner of the country.
Yes, I think we all know that the "honeymoon" phase of any relationship is only so long, :smooched: and you start to see your mate in all their glory; flaws and all, but if you're ready to make that commitment to eachother (engagement) you're ready to say "I do" to it all, right?

That's my advice. Don't go jumping in to cohabitating unless there's commitment from both parties.
Just my $.02
Good luck!:flowerforyou:

Everything does change once you move in with someone, but if you are serious about being with a person eventually it has to. I think living together before getting married is a necessity. You don't really know someone until you have lived with them and you don't know how strong your relationship is until you wake up to them everyday and come home to them every night. Eventually the puppy love will fade away, however if you are with the right person it will be replaced by something much more special and long lasting. That being said, at 6 months your relationship is still pretty new. I'd recommend waiting a little longer before taking such a big step. Moving in, commitment-wise, is one step below engagement. And once you intertwine your lives like this it can be really hard to undo.

I am in a wonderful relationship with a fantastic guy. I moved in with him after 7 months of dating for financial/distance/want to spend more time together & ready for the next step reasons. I was hesitant that it was so soon, but we've now been living together for a year and our relationship just keeps getting better.

I think the most important thing to consider is whether you and your partner have good communication. If you can't voice your annoyances tactfully or listen respectfully when your partner does so, then you'll have a lot of problems. There are a lot of new things to negotiate once you move in together - like, who does what household duties, and yes, whether someone isn't picking up their wet towel off the floor. I felt comfortable with moving in because I knew that my boyfriend and I see eye-to-eye on gender roles and household expectations - we agree to split everything equally. Some things we have to compromise on - for example, he hates cleaning the bathroom and is not good at it, and I hate folding clothes and never get around to it, so I do the bathroom and he does the laundry.

Something else that has been helpful is we instilled a 25 cent fine for each time one of us does something that the other finds annoying, like leaving the toilet seat up, or leaving shoes in the middle of a walkway. The fines go to a vacation fund, which now has upwards of $150 :blushing: It's helped us to train each other in a way that ultimately benefits us both.