A Miscarraige and Evil Doctor

February of 2012 I should have been celebrating my 29th birthday and Valentine's Day, but instead I was going through the most heartbreaking thing to have ever happened to me. I wan't feeling well so I went to the Doctor for an antibiotic. The next day he called. I was pumping gas and he told me to sit down. I did and he said, "Congrats! You're Pregnant!" Already having a 4-year-old, my husband and I had been trying since about 3 months after he birth to get pregnant again. It just never seemed to happen. I was elated!! He said the pregnancy hormone was so low I must have come to him just 6 or 7 days pregnant. I immediately made an appointment with the OBGYN. I know people don't usually go for 3 months but I'm overcautious so I told them about my HBP in my first pregnancy to get me in early.
I went for my appt. and he assured me I was pregnant. He said the numbers were kind of low so com back in a few days because the number should double daily. Three days later I went back. My husband and I waited for the results nervously. The doctor returned and said, "The numbers are so low, you must be having a miscarriage. It's no big deal. Just about everyone has them." The lump in my throat grew and the tears began to well. The Doctor said, "You know you probably won't be able to have kids, because you're so big. How many calories do you usually eat?" I had just started a diet, and although those words felt like a truck just smashed into my chest, I muttered, "1500." "Well that's too much for you. If you ever want to lose that fat and have a baby, you're going to have to commit to eating a lean cuisine everyday. 250 calories should do you, since what you're doing isn't working. I'll call in some Phentermine for you so it'll help you not eat."
That day my husband and I struggled to stand and make it home. We laid in bed crying for the day. It seemed like an eternity. My heart was broken. My baby was gone and I was told it was because I was too fat. I've since gained 20 lbs. This time I'm getting my life back. I'm taking control. I'm ready to face the fact that I'm overweight and do something about it. I'm finally over what that Doctor said to me and I'm going to use it for motivation. He's an idiot who made me feel less than human, and 2 feet tall in front of my husband, who wants another child as much as I do. I have more than 100 lbs to lose and it's getting done this year. I've wanted to write this down forever it seems. Thanks for reading if you did.

Did he tell you to reduce your calories by 250 per day or eat 250 calories per day? Something doesn't seem to be adding up here. I have a hard time believing any doctor would recommend a 250 calorie diet.

Also, you stated you just started your diet and you told him you eat 1,500 calories a day. Did you happen to tell them you just started a new eating program? You don't get 100lbs overweight on a 1500 calorie diet. You either left a good bit of the story out or you weren't completely honest with your doctor and let him assume you have always eating 1,500 cals a day. BTW, if you are eating 1,500 cals a day you don't need a food suppressant.

I am sorry to hear about your miscarriage, I am a father of two little ones and they are special gifts. I hope you guys have success having another one.

Now, I think it’s time to start being honest with yourself and stop making excuses why you can or can't do things. Your profile is filled with excuses. It is so much easier to make excuses than to put in the work but excuses won't get you to where you want to be. We all have crazy schedules, work, commute, kids, chaos. Everyone in my house is up at 5:15am getting ready for the day, eat health breakfast, exercise, get ready (including a 1 and a 2 year old) and out the door (in no particular order).

You know those TV shows you like to watch at night? Well you need to decide would your rather watch those shows and sit on the couch or would you rather attack your goals and do some sort of exercise with that hour. Its about choices, good choices about diet and exercise will get you where you want to be not sulking about being overweight and how things for some reason aren't going your way.

You can do it, you just have to..... well, do it!

Sorry if this was harsh but sounds like you need a kick in the pants and sometimes people who are close to you won't tell you what you need to hear.


Edit - We are in bed by 10:00pm most nights. Sometimes 9:30 and never past 10:30pm. Rest is important and you can't get up at 5am if you are up until 12-1am.

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I didn't misunderstand. He said 1 frozen dinner a day. No I didn't tell him I'd just started counting calories. I didn't really think about that at the time. There were other things on my mind. Not sure where my profile is full of excuses, unless you think me working is an excuse. However, I'm tired of apologizing to people like you. This year is different. I am on track. I do eat a lot of frozen dinners (I'm sure the doc wouldn't be so proud at how many), but I never cut it down to 250 calories. I am honest with myself. I knew then that I was overweight. I know now, and I know and have always known exactly what to do to fix it. I wanted to get it out and I appreciate every single bit of support (not looking for pitty). Thanks for the kick, but I've been kicked enough. From now on, I kick back.

I am so, so sorry you went through that. That's absolutely awful, and you have all my sympathies. I hope sharing your story helps you get closer to closure; I know talking can be a vital healing tool.

I'm also glad you can recognize how awful that doctor is; I would recommend IMMEDIATELY getting another doctor, and a nutritionist if you can. You might have have a big number to lose, but 1200 is generally the "go to" because it's generally much closer to a BMR. At 250 calories, your body would legitimately have nothing to function on after a few weeks. You can lose sustainable weight at a much higher number.