Boyfriend help please

What good advice! love it.

My whole family are thin and some of them judge me for being fat. I spend a lot of time with my dad who can eat anything he wants which gets me angry at times. When we are out together we always go to McDonald's and half the time I'm not even hungry but I'll have something to be sociable but I'm going to cut that out this year because I'm tired of it. If I was you honey i'd take the bull by the horns, tell him straight and if he doesn't like it then its his problem. We all need to be the strong, beautiful and confident women that we are.

He sounds like he is either super clueless, or maybe a bit passive aggressive -- and also kind of a belligerent nag, for going on and on about it! Who is unable to "withstand the stench" of home cooked food? I'm assuming that there are some nice qualities there as well or you would not put up with this.

If you really believe he would not want to hurt your feelings, you have to tell him that what he's doing is having that effect. Otherwise you are kind of trapping him in a situation where he is unknowingly a jerk who is hurting your feelings, which isn't cool. Yes, he should know better, but it sounds like it is possible he doesn't. Maybe he has Asperger's or something? Anyway, you should tell him in a very clear way, not yelling or anything, just be really literal and see if that helps with his behavior.

If he is a true passive aggressive personality, then he is actually doing it to cut you down on purpose and keep your self esteem low enough to stay with him. If you think that is the case I would scram if I were you. But also, if that is the case, there's no harm in telling it to him like it is first, so step one would be the same -- tell him really literally what is bugging you and don't beat around the bush.

The last thing you should do is ignore it. Things won't change when you ignore them. They tend to just get worse.

What he is doing would annoy the hell out of me. Be direct and forward, and tell him to stop.

He sounds quite childish. I would have to bluntly ask him why the hell he is so obsessed with how often or what I am eating, anyway.

Well, if everything you say is true and he only does this with your food. He could be afraid that if you lose the weight he may lose you. My husband did that to me years ago and after years of talking to him it came out that he was afraid I would find someone else as he knows he is hard to live with. Those are his words not mine. I would sit down and talk to him about it. What the others say here could be correct and he is an ****. You are the only one that knows the true about that. My husband is very supportive at this time. We do eat very different foods. He will cook his own diner and I cook mine. That works for us. We have been married for more than 35 years now and have adult children. We will still eat together just different things.

You have to decide what you want to do if he will not changes his ways. I wish you the best as this is not going to be easy.

You need to communicate with him and explain that his behavior and comments are very unsupportive and frustrating on you. He has to realize that his behavior is not cute and it's very tiring on you. You've accepted his bad eating habits, and probably other aspects of his lifestyle, and he needs to accept YOUR life choices and support them.

Hopefully he just needs a talk...:sick:

If he still wants to act like a terdfart and wave junk food in your face, whine about your cooking, and find other ways to put you down then set him loose. You have to take care of yourself, and anyone making you miserable and hindering your healthy choices needs to go.

Good luck.

Okay, I read through all of the responses, and not one supports his action in any way (no surprise there). I wouldn't be so quick to dump him, unless there are other issues you haven't disclosed. Maybe he's just stupid - give him a chance to fix it. Maybe start by printing out ALL of these responses and let him hear/read from other people what a thoughtless, insensitive *kitten* he is being - maybe he was raised by thoughtless, insensitive parents. Also...and please let him read this...if he thinks McDonald's is "healthy," you have bigger problems than his insensitivity, hon - he is BEYOND ignorant.

I'm in the same situation. My fiance is a paper-weight and he's constantly eating fast food and snacks all hours of the day & night. It's super frustrating when you're trying to lose weight. I got to the point whereas though I had to tell him in a polite way to be more considerate of his food selection. We're on a tight budget too and healthy food normally cost more than unhealthy fast food/junk. Like you I am an emotional eater too. Uggh I feel your pain!!

I think you should talk to your boyfriend and ask him to be more supportive of your weight loss journey. Maybe if you have the time you could start cooking healthy meals for you & hm. Y'all have to work together. Good luck!!

One of my BIL (early 60s) is literally is dying from a lifetime of eating Micky D's and Burger King stuff. He was skinny in his 20s too.

DROP THE ZERO AND GET WITH A HERO!!!

Um, yea, divorce and kicking em to the curb are always the answer. Before asking him to please stop of course!

To the OP, take the fella aside, and explain that he needs to not talk to you about your food timing and choices.

She's posting on a public forum to get advice from a bunch of strangers about relationship problems we shouldn't know about since a relationship is supposed to be between two people..not two people and a crowd...and what we know is, of course, her version of things which may or may not be true or/and exaggerated....She either wants attention or she wants to feel justified with being told to end it.

So yeah...just break up.

I cant understand what happens to a girl when she gets a boyfriend that makes her unable to make decisions for herself as an individual and then turn around and make like its all his fault when she is the one that changed, not him.

I can't understand when people - men or women - think that it is a good idea to get advice from people they don't know about their relationships, especially when they haven't really had a serious convo with the SO.

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is suffering from a condition known as "HesanAsshole" basically it causes him to do things that a normal person would think very rude but for him it seems normal.

No matter what course of action you choose you should definitely tell him to back off.

I think your best option is a jerkectomy. What this does for you is relieves the stress by removing the cause. It basically takes your boyfriend and relocates him to a different place where he will be free to suffer out his condition in solitude. The main advantage to this one is it actually results in you being single which frees you up to find a guy that is more supportive and deserving.

Well said!!!

It sounds to me like your boyfriend is suffering from a condition known as "HesanAsshole" basically it causes him to do things that a normal person would think very rude but for him it seems normal.

I think your best option is a jerkectomy. What this does for you is relieves the stress by removing the cause. It basically takes your boyfriend and relocates him to a different place where he will be free to suffer out his condition in solitude. The main advantage to this one is it actually results in you being single which frees you up to find a guy that is more supportive and deserving.

THIS IN SPADES!!!

Honey, I don't know how old you are nor how long you've been with this guy, but I can tell your writing from the heart.
It's easy for just about all of us to recognize that your relationship is one where if you a family member, you would look at it and say "He's bad for her" and want to tell her to get out...NOW.

Emotions aside, you need to do some deep down soul searching to determine if this guy (whom you're not legally bound to..thank goodness) is supportive of you and your goals as much as you are of his. A boyfriend/husband is supposed to be a team mate. A team mate who's on your side.

Think about it.

And by the way...don't fret about his "he can eat what he wants and never gain weight." Eating all the McDonalds you want and not gain weight in no way makes you healthy. Nor does it make you a healthy person if you can't support your girlfriends aspirations.

It may be a new year and a time for a new life that is focused on you and your wellbeing in more ways than one.

Good luck!

1 - break up

2 - stop focusing so much on what he's doing and worry about committing to what you're doing. You're using his lifestyle as a crutch and an excuse. If he's "waving french fries" in your face constantly tell him it's a-not funny and b-disrespectful . . . consenting to the french fry is consenting to the behavior.

My husband eats 1 or 2 large meals a day, I graze my way through the day. I focus on my thing, he focuses on his, it works for both of us.

This

Your boyfriend sounds like an immature d**k.

You don't want to hurt his feelings by saying something to him, but it's OK for him to hurt your feelings by being so un-supportive and juvenile? You are just allowing him to continue to treat you this way.

Get rid of this guy and find yourself a grown up relationship.