how do you deal when people try to sabotage you ?

Tell her that you're 27 years old and as such, you're old enough to ask for help when you want it without her telling you what to do.

Beyond that, if you don't like her advice then don't take it.

Lastly, she's not forcing you to do anything. Calling this "sabotage" is quite extreme.

That's a really difficult situation. I'm sorry you're having to deal with it!

I'm not sure what the best advice is, but I know I wouldn't enjoy constantly hearing about how I'm doing everything wrong (especially when I think I'm on track!). The next time she criticizes your food or exercise choices, I would say, "Thank you for your concern, but this is all part of the plan that I'm working on! I like what I'm doing." Then the next time she says something, "Mom, I already told you that I'm happy with what I'm doing. Please don't give me any more advice. If you keep giving me unwanted advice, I'm going to leave the room." And then leave whenever she brings it up again.

Hopefully, eventually she'll get the point and stop badgering you. If not, at least you'll be in another room and won't have to hear about it.

Good luck!

yes in fact she is, she pushes me and then harps at me when i fail she dosnt trust me enough to do this on my own..

Is she tackling you when a piece of fruit approaches your mouth? Is she taking food off of your plate and measuring it for you?

You're way too old to be blaming your mother for your problems. The only way she can sabotage you is if you allow her to do so. Stand up for yourself.

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just gonna throw in here that the tae bo works

I'm sorry but some of you are being extremely insensitive. Just because her mother isn't physically forcing food from her hands or "tackling her" doesn't mean that it is not sabotage and certainly isn't behavior that helps someone who struggles with their weight. If you don't have anything helpful or nice to say, move on. To the OP, I think the person that said just politely decline your mother's input is the best advice. Let her know that different things work for different people and you've found what works for you and you don't need her advice but you will ask her when you do. I know it's tough, I'm close with my mom and we both struggle with our weight and we just don't talk about it at all anymore. I hope you can come to a place where you can still have a good relationship with your family and continue to take care of yourself. Good luck!

Hmmmm...you're 27. You are good and grown. Let her say her piece and say, Ok that's your opinion.

Leave it at that, and do what you want. No one can sabotage you unless YOU allow them to. You really do have control of yourself.

Tell your mom to get bent. If that fails, skull-crack her.

Take responsibility for yourself and do what you need to do to get where you want to be. It's all up to you and if you take control of your life you can do it.

I punch them in the throat and continue on with my day.

LIKE THIS ONE!

But seriously, I use their comment/negative thoughts as stepping stones, because only hurting people try to hurt people.
Pray for them and MOVE ON!

i live close to my parents and my mother has tried everything in her power to get me to lose weight shes tried giving me tae bo tapes ( how retro is that?) shes told me about exercise routines you name it but as time wore on and i wasnt getting the results SHE wanted from me she resorted to drastic measures she has invited over my brothers skinny friends and invited me over as well so ill feel insignificant next to them, she has pressured me into restrictive diet after restrictive diet and has all but demanded i try the recent crash diet shes wetting herself over.. now i've found a meal plan that works and i have confidence in myself for the first time ever and shes trying to sabotage me again by saying i cant eat fruit when every diet shes ever given me ever says i can..
and that ill have to do dozens or crunches a day because running on a tredmill wont give me abs according to her... im realy close to my family and i don't want to have to cut ties with them for me to succeed in my efforts to lose the weight i've been carrying around for years but how can i do that when i have someone giving me unsolicited fitness advice and telling me to weigh my food or use a measuring cup to does out my food before i eat it? i know it sounds like im whining and im sorry if i offended anyone i didn't mean to if anyone out there has any advice about this it would be greatly appreciated thank you very much

Here is the thing. Previously you managed to resist her advice on weight loss and stayed at a size she (and obviously you) found unacceptable. If you have a place you already know exists where you can go and tune her out go there now.

The only person in charge of you is you. Also, one thing I had to learn, interestingly enough about the age that you are now, is that for anything to truly be mine (achievements, successes, failures, life) I had to learn that sometimes I just didn't share it with my parents until it was accomplished. You need to establish boundaries and you need to defend them. So telling her that you will no longer discuss your weight or health with her officially (like a sit-down, proper grown up chat) and that you will be enforcing this boundary by leaving or hanging up whenever she (or anyone) goes there. And then enforce it. Don't wine about it, don't argue, don't get mad - just leave the situation. And then go and prove them wrong. The best revenge? Proving them utterly wrong by finding a will of iron and getting this done. But even better - find the 'how many f8cks don't I give' place about anyone else's opinion and do this because it is the right thing for you and what you want to achieve!

In an aside: I don't like to discuss my weight with my husband - he makes me feel like he is taking over whatever I am doing - I don't discuss when I am going to the gym - what I am eating or anything because it causes fights and it makes me resent him and get really mad. I know part of that is to do with accountability - as in: he makes me feel like I am not in control of the situation when he asks me about it - and sometimes I am and so get mad because I don't feel he is being supportive and sometimes it is because I am not and it makes me mad that he has 'caught me out'. This just illustrates how complicated my relationship to weight is and how the journey really is a solo trip. This time things are working because I am doing it for me and mostly couldn't give a flying fig what anyone else's ideas about my ideal self are. At 41 I am feeling a lot more free to do what I want.

Good luck.

Join the Navy and don't go home for 10 years or more.

Hey, worked for me.

You have to set some boundaries with her. If she chooses not to comply then limit your time with her as much as possible until you are strong enough to handle her vitriol.

yes in fact she is, she pushes me and then harps at me when i fail she dosnt trust me enough to do this on my own..

Is she tackling you when a piece of fruit approaches your mouth? Is she taking food off of your plate and measuring it for you?

sabotage doesn't have to be physical....

all i can say is she's your mother so she probably genuinely wants the best for you

can you move out or is that not an option?

She is your mother and they certainly think they always know best. My mother crams her opinion down my throat but I had friends and some family kindly remind me that opinions are given but they don't have to be used. It is up to you what you want to do with them.

If she is forcing it on you in her home it might be time to lay down your own law, if she meddles then you won't come for a visit. Or you can create your own way of coercing her into listening and taking a step back and letting you continue the way that works for you. If you don't say or do anything then nothing will change.