I realized something just now.

DuhhMuffin
DuhhMuffin Posts: 198
in Motivation and Support
Doesn't it kind of seem like "fat" people can't do anything right by some "skinny" people?

Like, when I work out in front of skinny people, I can just tell some of them are thinking, "What is she doing here? Shouldn't she be at home eating Twinkies and watching Oprah?"

I feel the same thing when I go to a restaurant and order healthy, or go to the store and buy healthy things. Shouldn't people be thinking, "Wow, good for her!"

I dunno. That was just a random thought. Maybe that's just the social anxiety talking :p


Also, this isn't all skinny people. Just some people.
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Replies

  • epcorne
    epcorne Posts: 59 Member
    they don't make twinkies anymore :( what a shame!

    haha. but yeah, totally feel judged by 110 pound girls who barely break a sweat at the gym. sucks
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    I think some of this is in your head. I used to feel that way to, but then I realized, most ppl dont think about me at all. It was my own psychosis.
  • datguy2011
    datguy2011 Posts: 477 Member
    It's a rough situation; I guess it depends on the positive/negative in people. I'm a more positive person, so I would think.. good for her... but I can see how jealous or negative people think/might bring a so called "Fat" person down...
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
    I think a lot of it is in your head, too. Truthfully people naturally care more about themselves and how they are perceived than about another stranger. There are the bad apples out there of course but they amount to few in comparison to everyone else. I know when I'm out and about I could care less what anyone else is eating or doing.
  • imfivebyfive
    imfivebyfive Posts: 104
    It's not likely they are thinking anything other than what exercise THEY are going to do next, or how tired THEY are, or how they think THEY look while working out.

    It's human nature to be fairly self-centered. So unless your directly keeping them from working out I would chalk it up to your own anxiety.

    I have always been on the thin side and when I see someone overweight at the gym I typically think 'good for them' but more than likely I don't think about them at all as I'm thinking about what I want to do next.

    Besides who cares what they think? What makes them so special?
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    I'm lucky. My gym is full of sweaty fit people and the only time I think I've gotten disgusted looks is when I read a book while doing the stationary bike.

    They simply don't understand that when you're overweight (especially as overweight as I was before) anytime you can burn any extra calories it's a good thing. So I did my weights, rowing machine, tried the elliptical and failed, then went for the stationary instead of heading for my car. I can peddle for awhile, so that's several hundred extra calories burned!

    But other than feeling uncomfortable over that, my gym seems very welcoming and accepting. One of these days I'll fool them all and get an IPOD and load it up with an EBook. They'll never know! :laugh:
  • DrMAvDPhD
    DrMAvDPhD Posts: 2,097 Member
    You are projecting your insecurities on to others. Unless, of course, you are a mind reader.
  • DuhhMuffin
    DuhhMuffin Posts: 198
    You guys are probably right about a lot of it being in my head. I'm sure there are some people who really do think the things that I'm afraid of, but it's probably like 1 out of ever 100 people who see me in reality.
  • DuhhMuffin
    DuhhMuffin Posts: 198
    You are projecting your insecurities on to others. Unless, of course, you are a mind reader.

    Maybe I am, hm? :D
  • bookworm_847
    bookworm_847 Posts: 1,903 Member
    I know what you're saying. But try not to let it get to you. I saw a quote on Facebook (I think) that try to keep in mind... "What other people think of you is none of your business." I don't remember when I saw it or who said it, but I think it's a good one.

    Also, try to keep in mind that the people at the gym are there for the same reasons you are. They may be at a different place in their journey, but they have no reason to judge you.

    Good luck!
  • Jizes318
    Jizes318 Posts: 409 Member
    I don't think you are a mind reader so stop thinking those things LOL When I am at the gym and see heavier people working out I think "Good for them!!"
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    People are not thinking about you as much as you think. I know I don't go around thinking about what others should do or not do.
  • SunKissed1989
    SunKissed1989 Posts: 1,314 Member
    I think some of this is in your head. I used to feel that way to, but then I realized, most ppl dont think about me at all. It was my own psychosis.

    I used to be paranoid all the time thinking that people were looking at me saying "God, look at the state of her" and the likes and then I realised that I'm not the centre of people's attention. If they were laughing around me, it wasn't necessarily about or at me. When I workout, it's me and the workout. Who cares what else is going on around me - I've got an awesome workout playlist with so many feel good, pumped up songs to keep me going that I forget about everyone else in the gym:smile:

    When I see larger women in my Zumba class or at the gym, I think "It's a shame they got to that stage, but good on them for doing something to change it and giving their all." :smile:
  • lovechicagobears
    lovechicagobears Posts: 289 Member
    Don't think like that. A lot of my friends who are in shape have told me they love seeing heavier people at the gym. They think it's awesome that people are taking charge of their health, and they wish they'd stick around past March (when most New Year's resolutions fizzle out).

    Granted, there are some tools out there, but just ignore them. If they aren't actually saying anything, try to assume they're part of the "good for you" crowd.

    A group of guys started hollering at a heavy girl walking into my gym the other day (the guys were in the parking lot). I started to feel super bad for her, but then she flipped them off. It was AWESOME. :) I wanted to go high-five her. A year from now, she's going to be around 100 pounds lighter, and those morons will still be stupid.
  • agthorn
    agthorn Posts: 1,844 Member
    I don't pay attention to what anyone else is doing at the gym.
  • shar140
    shar140 Posts: 1,158 Member
    A group of guys started hollering at a heavy girl walking into my gym the other day (the guys were in the parking lot). I started to feel super bad for her, but then she flipped them off. It was AWESOME. :) I wanted to go high-five her. A year from now, she's going to be around 100 pounds lighter, and those morons will still be stupid.

    hahaha, YESSSS! :drinker:
  • DuhhMuffin
    DuhhMuffin Posts: 198
    Don't think like that. A lot of my friends who are in shape have told me they love seeing heavier people at the gym. They think it's awesome that people are taking charge of their health, and they wish they'd stick around past March (when most New Year's resolutions fizzle out).

    Granted, there are some tools out there, but just ignore them. If they aren't actually saying anything, try to assume they're part of the "good for you" crowd.

    A group of guys started hollering at a heavy girl walking into my gym the other day (the guys were in the parking lot). I started to feel super bad for her, but then she flipped them off. It was AWESOME. :) I wanted to go high-five her. A year from now, she's going to be around 100 pounds lighter, and those morons will still be stupid.

    Ahaha xD That made me laugh. That's awesome as crap.
  • Beckyloo80
    Beckyloo80 Posts: 1,088 Member
    Doesn't it kind of seem like "fat" people can't do anything right by some "skinny" people?

    Like, when I work out in front of skinny people, I can just tell some of them are thinking, "What is she doing here? Shouldn't she be at home eating Twinkies and watching Oprah?"

    I feel the same thing when I go to a restaurant and order healthy, or go to the store and buy healthy things. Shouldn't people be thinking, "Wow, good for her!"

    I dunno. That was just a random thought. Maybe that's just the social anxiety talking :p


    Also, this isn't all skinny people. Just some people.

    I am sure that some are judgmental. In my experience, I give anyone who makes a point to live a healthier lifestyle major props!

    Who cares what they think anyways. Wait until you reach your goal and know how hard you worked to accomplish it! You can do it!
  • StephCoff1969
    StephCoff1969 Posts: 357
    I think some of this is in your head. I used to feel that way to, but then I realized, most ppl dont think about me at all. It was my own psychosis.

    Yeppers ^^this^^ was me... We are always are own worst critics..
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    That's because you're 19 years old.

    There's a gold age which starts somewhere between 25 and 35 where you stop caring and do things for yourself.

    Then comes the dark age, when you hit 70, and you don't care about anything at all anymore, and you walk around my locker room at the Y with your knee-length old-man-sac swinging around the room trying to talk about the weather like your gibblies aren't on display.
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    There are certainly some people who do think those things, but there are also some people who would be thinking the praise thoughts as well. But mostly people are just thinking about themselves, or what other people think about them.
  • Erica_theRedhead
    Erica_theRedhead Posts: 724 Member
    "You call yourself Fat Amy ?
    Yes, so twig b****es like you don't do it behind my back."

    LOVE this movie!
  • Bethie_B
    Bethie_B Posts: 292 Member
    Someone told me there were Twinkies here.

    *looks around*

    Crap.
  • FabMrFox
    FabMrFox Posts: 259 Member
    I think some of this is in your head. I used to feel that way to, but then I realized, most ppl dont think about me at all. It was my own psychosis.

    Wolf is right on this being in your head.....I don't judge the thin guy for needing to bench press the empty bar I think good for him for working out
  • PapaverSomniferum
    PapaverSomniferum Posts: 2,670 Member
    Doesn't it kind of seem like "fat" people can't do anything right by some "skinny" people?

    Like, when I work out in front of skinny people, I can just tell some of them are thinking, "What is she doing here? Shouldn't she be at home eating Twinkies and watching Oprah?"

    I feel the same thing when I go to a restaurant and order healthy, or go to the store and buy healthy things. Shouldn't people be thinking, "Wow, good for her!"

    I dunno. That was just a random thought. Maybe that's just the social anxiety talking :p


    Also, this isn't all skinny people. Just some people.

    I've never heard such a thing!

    I'm going to bet it's entirely social anxiety.
  • wdwgirl3
    wdwgirl3 Posts: 36 Member
    The best gift you an give yourself is to stop caring what strangers think of you! I am 40 and joined a gym for the first time in my life last year. I was TERRIFIED of those "skinny" people and what they would be thinking about me. Well, I got over myself and focused on why I was there....I was there for ME , not someone who is younger,skinner or prettier than me. Now i really don't give a rat's *kitten* and love the gym!
  • jenn_may
    jenn_may Posts: 154 Member
    You can't really know the answer to this thought unless you walk up to them and ask. I really do feel it is mostly in our heads. I also feel judged by people thinner than me when I am at the gym, but I know that is a character flaw within myself. It has nothing to do with what they really think about you because when I see someone bigger than me at the gym I am super impressed and happy for them. You can never know what someone is thinking so I wouldn't worry about it.
  • Dave198lbs
    Dave198lbs Posts: 8,810 Member
    People are not thinking about you as much as you think. I know I don't go around thinking about what others should do or not do.

    this
  • beaglelover12
    beaglelover12 Posts: 52
    My Grandma always says, "Don't flatter yourself. They're not thinking about YOU!" Haha. She cracks me up. Personally, I think "YOU GO GIRL/BOY!" anytime I see someone working out regardless of their size. Even if they are thinking these things about you, screw them. It doesn't matter what they think - you know that you are doing the best you can.
  • Jpinpoint
    Jpinpoint Posts: 219 Member
    Doesn't it kind of seem like "fat" people can't do anything right by some "skinny" people?

    Like, when I work out in front of skinny people, I can just tell some of them are thinking, "What is she doing here? Shouldn't she be at home eating Twinkies and watching Oprah?"

    I feel the same thing when I go to a restaurant and order healthy, or go to the store and buy healthy things. Shouldn't people be thinking, "Wow, good for her!"

    I dunno. That was just a random thought. Maybe that's just the social anxiety talking :p


    Also, this isn't all skinny people. Just some people.

    I'm betting more often than not the "skinny" people at the gym looking at you are thinking, "Damn it, I lost count of my reps. Did I pay the electric bill? I wonder what I should have for dinner. Hmmm, kids haven't text me saying they are home, I should find out." OR "It's nice to see her working out. I remember my first days in the gym, good for her!"

    Most of the time we are wondering or assuming negative things from others because IT'S ALL IN OUR HEADS. Our expectations of ourselves are skewed, so if we think we are not "skinny" then we don't rate.

    My recent conversation with a trainer he kept saying, "You want to get sexy right?" By the 4th time he said this I told him, "I am sexy. I'm not doing this for anyone but me, I DON'T GIVE A CRAP about what anyone thinks of me working out, in this gym." He has since stopped asking if I want to get sexy. He has now started in with the, "I'm the booty master, we'll get your butt nice and toned." *sigh* He IS good at what he does, just stupid with his mouth.

    Hang in there dollface, You're on a mission, people want to support you, here and at the gym. :)

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