How to not take this as an insult...

"I didn't get the thin genes. I got the 'get-off-my-*kitten*-and-fit-the-skinny-jeans-genes'"

Your brother most likely was joking because he is jealous of your accomplishments. However, it won't be until he can get the motivation to just do it to lose the weight also. As you probably know.

I am sure it was his way to compliment you. :flowerforyou:

You have done fantastic.

If your brother truly weighs that much, I'm sure he knows that you know he's not eating lettuce for every meal. Maybe he wants your help but doesn't know how to ask for it. Why not tell him about how hard you work and that your health isn't just about luck?

That's very sad that your brother weighs almost 500 pounds and doesn't care enough about his life and his family to want to do something about it. When I see someone in the morbidly obese category shoving Big Macs it makes me want to cry and vomit, not necessarily in that order.

Does he not realize that he could drop dead at any given moment? Does he have kids? I hope not, I wouldn't want them to grow up without their father.

You didn't get the "skinny genes". You got the BRAINS of the family, and he got the "lazy genes".
Good for you for being the thinnest in your family!

Agreed, tell him exactly what you just told us. Just because he is 500 pounds doesn't mean you have to sugar coat it (LOL OK, that is funny)...He is isnt being realistic and its ok to call him on it.

Simply state that "my feeling were hurt when you said......." I have been working very had to control my weight. Would you like to work out with me? I think that would be fun.
Never start with "you" start with I,My . Then you are not placing blame and he should be less defensive.
Let us know how this works.
By the "weigh" I got the skinny gene too only because I work my A;;;; of every day.
Gail

Great advice.
"I statements" really work. "I feel....." instead of "You ....."
Tell him that statement hurt your feelings and has been bothering you.
Emphasize how much work this has taken, and let him know you'd be glad to help him along the same journey.
Tell him there may not be any "skinny genes" in your family but it's fun to wear "skinny jeans"!

Well, if I'm reading your ticker right, you've lost almost 150 lbs??? So how anyone can pass that off as just 'good genes' is beyond me. But in all honesty, it sounds like this is much more about your brother than it is about you -- he isn't ready to take on his own journey, and he's built himself a safe place where he doesn't need to. And your success intrudes on that place -- because if you can do it, why can't he? But he's not ready to go there yet.

The most I would suggest is just being honest with him the way you were here, say it bothers you that it seems like he is discrediting all the hard work you've put in ... tell him a little about what your life is like now and the changes you've made. But I wouldn't attach him over it. I'm sure there was a time in all of our lives where we made our own share of excuses and it's not bad to show a little compassion.

That is a tough one to handle. You just hope that some day he will look at you and want to be more like you. Are you two close? Do you think approaching him and talking to him about it might upset him or help him? It is all in what you really want to do about it.

My story with my mother is I want her to live a long and healthy life. I try to talk to her about it all the time, but it goes in one ear and out the other. It is so frustrating. She has seen my transformation and is very happy for me and I so want the same thing for her. I completely understand where you are coming from.

Maybe if you sit down with him and explain why you are the only one in your family without diabetes and ask if he wants help to beat it as well. I wish I had more encouraging words for you.

On another note, congrats on your new and beautiful lifestyle. Keep up the AWESOME work. :bigsmile:

By him laughing at you, thats him crying out for help and a little jealousy . You should try talking to him and make him understand that he is killing himself. I have the same problems with my sisiters and they also make a lot of excuses and joke about me. heck they will sit right in front of me and eat an ice cream they think they are hurting me but in reality they are hurting themselves. Its a difficult situation but they really need the help your brother might get on your nerves and insult you till he is done but dont give on him. He will eventually come to his senses.

Rather than telling him to stop being lazy and telling him he is greedy etc (because that will achieve nothing except offending him back) I think you are in a perfect position to mentor your brother into weight loss and improved health. You are the example for him to follow. Motivate him and show him that he can have a better life; explain its about small and continued lifestyle changes. Once he starts to lose weight it should be the motivation he needs to continue. I'm a firm believer in learning through action and example. I don't think just saying you're fat/big because you eat too much and dont move will do anything. I say this as someone who used to be morbidly obese. As much as it is in his control to change things, he will feel like its not. He will need a lot of support and understanding to reclaim his body back. As his brother I would want to do everything I can to help him to achieve that.

(Anyway, fat genes just leave you predisposed to put on weight (so you put it on more easily than someone without a fat gene) they are not the actual cause of obesity in and of itself so his comments are not valid on that basis)