Do you feel like you're invisible or way too visible?

2

Replies

  • chlorisaann
    chlorisaann Posts: 366 Member
    Sweetie, it has less to do with your size and more to do with your confidence... I am over 300 lbs, happily married and get hit on at least once most weeks... I am one of those super confident ppl that thinks I am gorgeous no matter what and if you don't like it you can stick it! I thank my mom everyday for raising me that way!!!
  • StinkyWinkies
    StinkyWinkies Posts: 603 Member
    I think it depends on my mood...sometimes I wish I were invisible and I think it 'shows'

    I get stared at a lot, but I am usually always smiling, and I have a brilliant smile, so.... of course, they could just be staring at my wild unruly hair... :wink:
  • tequila09
    tequila09 Posts: 764 Member
    I'm definitely very visible. I get approached all the time it's nice but sometimes gets annoying! I've always had a lot of confidence as an adult so I think that's why.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    People forget me immediately or tell me they know me and I don't remember them.
  • curvygirl77
    curvygirl77 Posts: 769 Member
    Visible, people are obsessed with my lion hair because it's big and curly.
  • Motivated_Mom_4
    Motivated_Mom_4 Posts: 87
    I feel invisible to all except for my children. I'm visible to my husband when he is "in the mood" however beyond that I'm unsure. When I try to make the first move with him intimately, I'm often turned down. Not thinking I get noticed by others much. Maybe losing more weight and getting in better shape will help. :)
  • Elma1975
    Elma1975 Posts: 58
    friends and I told him to go meet his friends than, so I didn´t change and I don´t understand why people change so much.
    I will always just stay in the "friend zone" due to my looks and disability and that is ok most of the time.
    I wish you all the best and hopefully your friends will wake up and realize what they are risking losing

    Don't say that. i have many friends with disabilities and they ended up with nice men and are super happy. I believe like a lot of you guys mentioned that it comes down to how you feel on the inside and your confidence. Give yourself more credit. Take care of yourself and you will meet an amazing partner who will take care of you!!!
    I have severe confidence issues but i am working on it. I find that the more i make an effort to look good on the outside and eat healthy to feel good on the inside, it totally shows.
    Good luck!!! :bigsmile:
    No my disability has a lot to do with this. Men show interest online, online you can´t notice my disability but as soon as I mention I´m disabled they disappear very fast. Well maybe that is because I´m from a very small country and disability is like a plague, sometimes I could think people think it is contatious.
  • barbaramitchell101
    barbaramitchell101 Posts: 360 Member
    I'm so invisible you don't even notice I'm posting in this thread...

    I noticed your post....:smile:
  • bananapancakebella
    bananapancakebella Posts: 178
    Invisible.

    Last night I was supposed to have a date with a guy I've been friends with for awhile. He called me just before and told me he wasn't coming because he didn't want to ruin our friendship or the group dynamic of our mutual friends. Fair enough, but it sucks because I really liked him. But now I'm really motivated with my fitness goals. In a few months he's going to really know what he's missing, lol.

    But since moving to Denmark I haven't been flirted with at all. My looks are a dime a dozen here, and when Danish men learn that I'm not actually Danish, they actually turn around and walk away. Their loss, but it does make me feel quite invisible.
  • Terasome
    Terasome Posts: 3,808 Member
    invisible
  • ebonyb202
    ebonyb202 Posts: 42 Member
    I try to be invisible but it dosent work....I think I look good but I don't think other people think I do....I don't believe compliments, question male attention & even go as far as trying not to look as confident as I feel...but it dosent work people see it & I can only control my walk for so long lol. In about 60lbs I guess I'll own my confidence and accept the attention...because right now it's like I'm scared to show that I think I'm awesome
  • ParanSkies
    ParanSkies Posts: 59
    I think I may have a bit of social anxiety disorder so my shy, quiet demeanor definitely makes it easy for me to be "invisible".
    It's really frustrating because I can loosen up a lot around my small number of friends but people I'm not familiar with can't see that and mistake my neutral expression as me being angry (I guess I just look that way?) That makes it really hard for me to make friends, no less flirt with someone! It doesn't help that my most of my friends, even if they are a little shy, still have many more friends than I do and I'm probably the heaviest amongst our acquaintances. My friend also recently got a new boyfriend who adores her and I really feel genuinely happy for her, but I can't help but feel so jealous. She's naturally quite thin and pretty too ._.

    But regardless of how I am in the real world, I find it so comforting to come on MFP and know that others are going through exactly the same thing as me. It really motivates me to not only lose weight to look great and feel great about myself, but also to become more outgoing and be more approachable!
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Invisible.
  • icandowhateveriputmymindto
    icandowhateveriputmymindto Posts: 602 Member
    Pretty invisible bro. I think it's the way I carry myself that make people avoid me.
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
    Where I live currently (Taiwan), I am incredibly visible, I am the only white woman in our apartment complex so I stand out. I am also pretty tall so this also makes me stand out :laugh:
    When I'm back home in the UK, I don't think I stand out too much, I don't know though haha
  • the_crazy_ninja
    the_crazy_ninja Posts: 136
    Invisible.....but hey, I am a ninja :)
  • TryingtobeHealthy4Life
    TryingtobeHealthy4Life Posts: 49
    But regardless of how I am in the real world, I find it so comforting to come on MFP and know that others are going through exactly the same thing as me. It really motivates me to not only lose weight to look great and feel great about myself, but also to become more outgoing and be more approachable!

    Soo true!! Even though i have only been on MFP for a short time, it has helped me sooo much. I feel accountable. Even if i've had a bad day or good. I can be exactly who i am and have zero judgement. I have made an amazing support system here and i know it will continue to grow.

    Good Luck to all of you with your fitness goals. Holla anytime!!!! :)
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
    there is somebody for everybody and everyone has different taste and types. That being said, it is all about confidence.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    People notice me.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    the reason "all" your friends are getting married is bc you're 26. It's the age of desperation and jumping too soon. Focus on yourself and the changes you want to make.

    rubbish! i was quite happy being single at 26 and none of my friends were married then!
  • Windy_
    Windy_ Posts: 1,012 Member
    .
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
    I feel invisible for the most part, but recently one of my friends told me guys hit on me all the time. So apparently I just can't tell? Maybe it's the same for you. Confidence is important.
  • Crankstr
    Crankstr Posts: 3,958 Member
    I feel invisible a lot.
    Prob why I am so outgoing here.
  • WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr
    WarriorCupcakeBlydnsr Posts: 2,150 Member
    Invisible. I've lived in the shadow of my sister (the social butterfly) my entire life (if something happens to/with/about/for my sister, I am NOT ALLOWED to have anything else happen in my life that affects her happiness/sadness/pain/drama, I am REQUIRED to "suck it up" because it's not about me) it took me until this year that I will always be second best to her in my family and with any shared friends.
    Guys have never noticed me (I swear, I must need to post my picture with a bag over my head on these online dating sites) thus, 40 and still single (every effort to meet some one has ended up in rejection, feedback I get as to why not interested: too nice, too tall, too smart, too fat, too quiet, too loud, too serious, too laid back, too strong -not strength wise, emotionally I guess, since I'm so used to being the "strong one" that everyone turns to in a crisis, too independent, you get the drift...
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    I never had problem meeting men, even when I was fat.


    Personality goes a long way. Feeling sorry for yourself because you're the "fat" chick does not.


    ETA: Also, to answer the actuall question, neither. I'm far from invisible, but I don't feel like I'm "too" visible.
  • cmcollins001
    cmcollins001 Posts: 3,472 Member
    IMHO it's not so much that people are invisible or too visible, it's that some people have the confidence to strike up a converstaion or be the center of attention and some people don't. I'm not invisible nor am I too visible...I'm just as visible as I want to be.

    I also know I that I'm freakin' awesome...just look at my friends, only someone as awesome as I am can have friends as awesome as they are. It is with this knowledge that I am able to talk to anyone, anytime, anywhere.
  • rileamoyer
    rileamoyer Posts: 2,412 Member
    Hmm, depends on my mood. Whether or not I want to be noticed.
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
    No and I am the fat friend. The fact is there are a lot of guys out there that will date the fat chick but if you lack the confidence they are not going to spend any time trying to date you.

    Be confident, love yourself it shows through and you will attract people no matter your size. Confidence is everything honestly.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
    I turn heads and I'm okay with it. Having good bone structure and being nearly 6ft tall helps though :laugh:

    I've chosen to be single for the past 4-5 years after a pretty heartbreaking end to my engagement in 2007. I spent hundreds of hours analyzing my perceived failures and shortcomings and feeling sorry for myself. I actively tried to be like the other women in my life. During that time, I was the most invisible I've ever been.

    Then, I let go of the baggage and decided to just be me and all of a sudden the "friend zone" I was constantly in started getting kind of crowded with people who wanted to be close to me, cared about what I had to say, wanted to spend time with me, wanted to take things further with me.

    I work on myself every day because I want to be the best version of me. That person has no room in her life for regrets or self-pity or any of that negative crap.
  • Momiofour
    Momiofour Posts: 155 Member
    I am somewhat invisible. The earlier post about customer service rang true to me. I always get ignored in lines! There are times I let myself be invisible - when I am not into an activity or not enjoying myself at a party. I can emotionally check-out, if that makes sense. Around hot people, men or women, I am definitely invisible, even though I'm not bad looking. I let them be the hotter one.

    It really is about confidence and "owning" yourself. My sister once told me that I would be the most attractive woman if I owned my sexiness. Still not sure how to do that, but I think about it from time to time. Any suggestions on exactly how to own it would be great!!

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