Grr! I am so mad at myself!

2

Replies

  • Quote: In all the time that I have been a member of this site, I don't think I've ever felt attacked like this. I was looking for advice and encouragement... not rude and comments that are not helpful in the least. If you are going to be rude, don't waste your time replying.

    I agree. You all have a problem with your weight.

    That's why you are here.

    She knows she has a problem, that is why she is here.

    This is the Motivation and SUPPORT forum! She wants some positive support not a holier than thou *****y attitude.
  • Ras_py
    Ras_py Posts: 129 Member
    eat better. youre a grownup.

    agreed.

    24 years old with four kids and one on the way. and with diabetes.

    how many more reasons do you need to take care of yourself?

    I'm 25. And married. Yes, I already have 4 kids. What exactly does that have to do with this topic?

    his point is you have 4 reasons to be taking care of yourself, and another reason on the way.
    what do you want people to say here? youre asking for advice, to what, not eat crap? there is only one person who can help you with that.. yes you are knocked up, yes you are hungry. thats pretty normal. the only advice you seem to be seeking is how to not eat crap.
    here is some advice on that
    1) dont have crap in your house to eat
    2) if you can't not go out and get it, dont carry money, dont have a card you can swipe
    3) tell the people around you that you really want to have ___ as a goal and want them to help you meet it
    4) tell yourself everyday what your goal is and how you will try and achieve that goal
    5) always have good foods around that you CAN eat
    6) dont stress it so much - you are having a baby -- eat the best you can, forget and dont beat yourself up over times you didn't meet your goal.
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
    eat better. youre a grownup.

    Excuse me?! Rude comments are not needed.

    That was the best advice you were going to get here, OP.

    Really? Something that I already know?

    Yup, it's a really simple solution. You just need to change your behavior. Easier said than done perhaps, but what more do you want to hear? This isn't rocket science. If you want it bad enough, you'll learn to control yourself.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    In all the time that I have been a member of this site, I don't think I've ever felt attacked like this. I was looking for advice and encouragement... not rude and comments that are not helpful in the least. If you are going to be rude, don't waste your time replying.

    no one is attacking you.

    maybe we're just telling you things you need to hear and telling it to you bluntly.

    stop being a sensitive little angel, and start getting fit for your family and for your sake.
  • LittleMiss_WillLoseIt
    LittleMiss_WillLoseIt Posts: 1,373 Member

    :drinker: :flowerforyou:
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    eat better. youre a grownup.

    agreed.

    24 years old with four kids and one on the way. and with diabetes.

    how many more reasons do you need to take care of yourself?

    I'm 25. And married. Yes, I already have 4 kids. What exactly does that have to do with this topic?

    Yeah, what on earth does your family of little ones have to do with you behaving like a grown wife and mother and leading by example. It's totally fine if all five of them grow up eating crap, giving into all their cravings, treating their body badly while pregnant and getting diabetes. Cause their mom showed them that this was acceptable.

    No one is here is attacking you, you are choosing to read it as an attack.

    The truth is, you are mad at yourself because you lack the willpower to make good decisions even when your children are watching and you are growing another inside of you. And instead of realizing that you are right to be mad at yourself, and we are trying to help you see why its bad - you prefer to stomp your feet and go all teenager mode.

    Good luck in life with this attitude. I see great things in your future.
  • JenMarie8781
    JenMarie8781 Posts: 377 Member
    Quote: In all the time that I have been a member of this site, I don't think I've ever felt attacked like this. I was looking for advice and encouragement... not rude and comments that are not helpful in the least. If you are going to be rude, don't waste your time replying.

    I agree. You all have a problem with your weight.

    That's why you are here.

    She knows she has a problem, that is why she is here.

    This is the Motivation and SUPPORT forum! She wants some positive support not a holier than thou *****y attitude.

    Thank you!
  • kimosabe1
    kimosabe1 Posts: 2,467 Member
    hahajha... I have been T1 diabetic for 28 years and why did u grab chocolate chips? KAY, welcome and this place rocks and i'm obsessed.......
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
    <snip to>

    This is the Motivation and SUPPORT forum! She wants some positive support not a holier than thou *****y attitude.

    Motivation comes from within. We're not supporting her bad behavior, we're encouraging her to just do what she needs to do. Again, not rocket science. Most people know what to do, they just can't find a good enough reason to 'just do it.' We can't supply that reason, that comes from within. Although, being around to watch four + kids grow up are some very good reasons.
  • chocl8girl
    chocl8girl Posts: 1,968 Member
    eat better. youre a grownup.

    Excuse me?! Rude comments are not needed.

    That was the best advice you were going to get here, OP.

    Really? Something that I already know?

    Welp, if you already know, then why are you asking? People aren't going to tell you what you want to hear, they are going to tell you what they think if you ask them. *shrug*
  • JenMarie8781
    JenMarie8781 Posts: 377 Member
    eat better. youre a grownup.

    Excuse me?! Rude comments are not needed.

    That was the best advice you were going to get here, OP.

    Really? Something that I already know?

    Yup, it's a really simple solution. You just need to change your behavior. Easier said than done perhaps, but what more do you want to hear? This isn't rocket science. If you want it bad enough, you'll learn to control yourself.

    That is pretty much what I was trying to say in my OP. I DID IT for 2 years with pretty much no effort. I just did it. And I didn't have these horrible cravings. I didn't have to tell myself NO all the time because I just did what I needed to do and it didn't bother me. So I don't understand why it's gotten so hard all of a sudden.
  • meg7399
    meg7399 Posts: 672 Member
    Also, gestational diabetes.

    Since you've been diagnosed earlier in life, and now you're "manufacturing a human being inside you" as someone so eloquently put it, you should know better than to be eating like crap.

    You can't get gestational diabetes when you're already diabetic. And yes, I do know better. But "knowing better" doesn't make it any easier to ignore cravings. And again... if you have no advice or anything positive to contribute, don't bother.

    You didn't really want advice, did you? You wanted commiseration and a pat on the head saying "there, there... it'll be okay". Sorry, but it doesn't work that way. I take back my (helpful) comments.

    Are you PMSing or something? Please... just move along. Bashing people does not HELP them. So if you (or anyone else) just want to make rude comments then why bother saying anything at all?
    sadly, you do not always get advice you want to hear. no one can change your eating habits but yourself. If you openly post your eating habits and ask for help people will tell you this, whether you already know it or not. This place is for motivation and support, and sometimes it might sound negative. Maybe if enough people tell you to eat better you will finally buckle down and do it!
  • _Wits_
    _Wits_ Posts: 1,286 Member
    Being so young and with type 2, four kids, and one on the way....


    That is the motivation to get you to make better choices. You just have to stop being selfish and eat what is appropriate for you and your situation. You're eating for two yes, so the amount may not be an issue as much as the types of foods... healthier you eat, better chance of a bouncing healthy happy baby...make that your motivation.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    eat better. youre a grownup.

    Excuse me?! Rude comments are not needed.

    That was the best advice you were going to get here, OP.

    Really? Something that I already know?

    Yup, it's a really simple solution. You just need to change your behavior. Easier said than done perhaps, but what more do you want to hear? This isn't rocket science. If you want it bad enough, you'll learn to control yourself.

    That is pretty much what I was trying to say in my OP. I DID IT for 2 years with pretty much no effort. I just did it. And I didn't have these horrible cravings. I didn't have to tell myself NO all the time because I just did what I needed to do and it didn't bother me. So I don't understand why it's gotten so hard all of a sudden.


    so what you are saying is that when it was easy, it was fun to do. now that it is hard, it's not fun anymore?
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    Try to throw in an interrupter before giving in to cravings. For example: Every time you find yourself in the kitchen, drink 1 cup of water. Then wait 10 minutes and think about what you should be eating, if anything. And try to keep busy with other projects, like knitting booties or preparing the baby's room - whatever.

    Good luck! With both of my pregnancies, I gained all my allowed weight by halfway through, but then I started losing weight because there was too much pressure in my abdomen and I didn't feel like eating. So you may still come out ahead.

    And congratulations on your new family member.
  • Quasita
    Quasita Posts: 1,530 Member
    Frankly, I agree with the "you're a grown up" statements... I presume you did the shopping. Why are you buying foods that are crappy if you don't want to eat them? If they are bad for you, they are bad for your kids and your spouse and why would you want to feed them that stuff??

    I think what people have been trying to point out is that you quite possibly have an obvious problem with control regarding your decisions. Personally, I would have waited until I was done worrying about myself so much before I made yet another human being. It's not like your time of fertility was about to expire.

    I'm pretty sure that if you spoke to your doctor, they would confirm that with the exception of caring for your diabetes, you should not diet when you are pregnant. Listening to cravings and feeding them in moderation is normal and in many cases necessary. I highly doubt your doctor would recommend a restrictive diet. Women who are overweight that lose weight during pregnancy do so because they burn more calories, not because they diet. Just the same with breastfeeding women... You burn more calories and therefore exceed your intake.

    You need to adjust your goals to account for your pregnancy. If you have that much of an issue, go to your doctor for help, don't rely on strangers on here.
  • tgrames
    tgrames Posts: 6 Member
    I am the same way. I keep wanting that miracle pill or that easy diet. I tell myself I am going to get up and go to the gym and then I don't . I am going to a kickboxing class that I love but that is only one night a week. I am 41 and want to finally get to a weight that I can be happy with. It is hard to eat healthy with my boyfriend and kids. Why can't wanting to lose weight just be motivation enough.
  • BamsieEkhaya
    BamsieEkhaya Posts: 657 Member
    advice from an 18y/o who has never had children/ pregnancy scares/ diabetes and is not married

    surely the best thing to do if you can't help but eat ****e food is get rid of it, stock up on the good stuff.

    freeze some fruit (kiwis, blueberries, grapes etc) and munch on those.

    also you need to be realistic and honest with yourself, you'll probably put on some weight with your pregnancy and for the health of your little one in your tum surely thats probably one of the BEST reasons to suck it up and it healthy and say no to unhealthy food...if not for your sake then do it for the sake and health of your unborn child.

    (please don't take it rudely, but no-one can help you have will power, you know what your eating is wrong, say no and find yourself something good)
  • stunningalmond
    stunningalmond Posts: 275 Member
    Sheesh, aren't you getting some nice replies? :wink:

    Are you drinking lots of water? That might help control the hunger. I was bad when I was PG and with my first I gained almost 40 lbs. Make sure you're keeping your sugar in check, and make sure your Dr is keeping a close eye on you with the diabetes. When I was pg with my 2nd I had to keep a food diary, and show my Doctor/Dietician. Is your doctor having you do this?

    Is your hubby supportive? Maybe ask him for help? :) Good luck!! It's not easy growing a little person inside you!
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
    eat better. youre a grownup.

    This!
  • concordancia
    concordancia Posts: 5,320 Member
    Take it one day at a time. Go one day without any added sugars, maybe even cut out fruit. Only whole grains for breads or cereals and still less than usual. No hash browns, no tortilla chips, etc. if it is already in the house, lock it up out of sight or throw it out. If you are hungry, have some nuts, veggies, cheese, etc.

    Just one day. When you finish that day, reflect on it. Celebrate making it through. Think about how many nutrients your growing baby got.

    What is tomorrow going to look like.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    eat better. youre a grownup.

    Excuse me?! Rude comments are not needed.

    I still don't understand why short blunt and to the point sentences are considered rude and wall of text answers are not.

    look at like this...the ten commandments are all little simple sentences....

    that's what the above is...

    Eat better.

    You're a grown up.

    it's just the truth....not a rude comment at all.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    maybe if you need a different kind of support, a gentler kind, you could go in the support group made for women that can't concieve for one reason or another, and complain there. maybe they can help you find some motivation rooted in thankfulness and your own fortune. Works for me when I feel like I hurt all the time and my old injuries are killing me and I cant get past that mental wall - I go spend time talking to people that are still in recovery.
  • meg7399
    meg7399 Posts: 672 Member
    eat better. youre a grownup.

    Excuse me?! Rude comments are not needed.

    I still don't understand why short blunt and to the point sentences are considered rude and wall of text answers are not.

    look at like this...the ten commandments are all little simple sentences....

    that's what the above is...

    Eat better.

    You're a grown up.

    it's just the truth....not a rude comment at all.
    People always think they are getting attacked...its the internet, people need to chill.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    The only helpful thing I can come up with is to really sit and think about what the difference is...even write it all out if you think that will help. What did you do before,and be very specific.. Are you trying to do something different now? How is your life different now than then? What are some barriers and how can you get rid of them? Only you can answer these questions...

    Are you eating because you're bored? Then pick up some sort of hobby...find a good book to read, find something crafty to do, clean, go for a walk, call someone, etc Just stop walking in to the kitchen and allowing yourself to eat a handful of this or that. Chalking it up to pregnancy cravings is just an excuse you're allowing yourself to use. If you know you can do this then do it!

    I hear a lot of folks saying to do it for your kids but I've found, both for myself and other folks in my life, that unfortunately this isn't always enough motivation. You have to do this for YOU and only you. Do it because you want to be healthy. Do it because you want to reverse your diabetes so that you don't have to deal with all the health issues as you age. Do it because to save yourself money on health care. Do it because you care about yourself.

    If you can't do it for you...I don't think anyone can help.
  • deadstarsunburn
    deadstarsunburn Posts: 1,337 Member
    I read what you said above about already being overweight but in order to MAINTAIN that same weight while pregnant you will technically have to lose weight to allow for your growing baby....
    I think you should just make healthier choices and try the whole weight loss thing again after you've had your baby. Until then, nothing is stopping you from eating right and doing low impact exercise like walking or swimming.
    Use your family as motivation, you want to be around for as long as you can. I agree with a past poster about simply not buying the junk food. That way you and your family will have to eat what you've got
  • amselby81
    amselby81 Posts: 150 Member
    I admit that the people in here may not have presented their advice in a "nice" way, but you have to admit that wha they are saying is right. You can do this. You can eat right, and you can still exercise. Although, if you havn't exercised much in the pregnancy, it will be slightly difficult. And the longer you wait to begin exercising, the harder it will be, b/c you're just going to get bigger. It's just a fact. Even if you don't gain anymore weight, your baby is still going to take up more room in your abdomin, which will make exercising nearly impossible if you're not used to it.

    Anyway, I have had two kids, and I didn't watch my weight with either pregnancy. I gained about 50lbs with each of them. I tried to each healthy, but for some reason, salads, fresh fruits, a fresh vegetables made me literally feel ill. It's like my kids wanted sweets and meats while in the womb, and hated the fresh stuff. So I understand what you're talking about. But we both know that ultimately, it's our choice as to what goes into our mouths.
  • liesevanlingen
    liesevanlingen Posts: 508 Member
    As a mother of four children, I'd just like to note a couple of things:

    Don't bring the food you don't want to eat into the house. Get lots of fruits and veggies and snack on those. Apples, bananas, baby carrots, celery, peppers, berries are all relatively easy to prepare and have ready. I found that if I had junk food in the house, I would eat it--so don't bring it in. Get your husband or a friend to do the shopping if you find the unhealthy stuff too tempting.

    Pregnancy cravings can drive you nuts. I craved celery ferociously (just plain celery) during my pregnancies. If your cravings are for unhealthy, high fat foods, try to get some alternatives. For example if you are craving ice cream, have some frozen/low fat yogurt with fruit. If you are craving carbs, eat them in moderation. Measure small portion sizes and tell yourself "I can have this many..." whatever it might be.

    Don't beat yourself up over the weight gain. I gained 30+ lbs with all four of my pregnancies, which my doctor said was just fine. I did have very large babies (two were 9 1/2 pounds each!) that's still more than 20 lbs worth of baby support system, extra fat (which you need some of) and all that stuff. You're nearly halfway through your pregnancy, and the weight gain will slow down later because you won't have room for the food. With my last child, during the last 2 months, I couldn't eat more than a few bites per meal because he took up so much space!

    Best wishes for the rest of your pregnancy, and I hope things go well for you.
  • CynthiaCollin
    CynthiaCollin Posts: 406 Member
    I am a mother of two. I gained 60lbs with my first pregnancy. I ate good and bad stuff. I ate when I wasn`t even hungry. I just had cravings all the time....so I get it..... but it was my choice, my fault. I learned from my first pregancy and was way more careful the second time around and only gained 30lbs. We make our own decisions, and our daily decisons are our own. You just have to figure out what you want more.... accountability darlin'. Being pregnant shouldn`t be used as an excuse to eat. I learned it the hard way.

    Keep logging on MFP.... If you are hungry....drink a glass of water to make sure it is actual hunger. Perhaps go for a walk and take your mind off food. Keep calculating your food as per what is healthy and necessary to get you through a pregancy without gaining weight and to make sure your baby has what he/she needs.

    Mind over matter....
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Lost 50lbs, some crept back on after getting lazy and munching all the time. This holiday season is when it really hit me. All my clothes were tight and I couldn't fit into and cute Christmas dresses in stores. I have gained back too much weight.

    Started eating right again about a week ago and my clothes are all ready looking and fitting better, my mood is better and I generally FEEL better. I REFUSED to go back to where I started. You just have to do it. Clean your house out of junk and load up on healthy foods so that is all you have to eat. Once you get started again you will feel better and it WILL be easier to get on track. No excuses unless you just don't want it.