My Husband called me a fat @zz yesterday

Options
24567…21

Replies

  • LuckyMe000
    LuckyMe000 Posts: 55
    Options
    Just break up.

    Lol, i guess someone had to say it!
  • danasings
    danasings Posts: 8,218 Member
    Options
    Wait, I just went and looked at your profile. You wrote that you're a single mom. I am confused....

    Yeah, I don't understand. Single moms generally don't have husbands...at least not the ones I know.

    I spent ten years with a verbally and emotionally abusive man, but he never insulted my weight or my looks. I guess I was "lucky" that way, haha. Sounds like you may need to reevaluate things.
  • angelz_love
    angelz_love Posts: 36 Member
    Options
    I am a newlywed so we all say things out of anger. Channel that hurt energy into action! When me and my husband fight I let it go mainly because if I don't its a LONG life to be mad at your spouse. I gained weight with my husband too, I started losing it and now I am the healthiest I have evef been! I think the worst he said to me was ' YO , put those Doritos down man, you've had enough." I laughed and said oh just you wait! i'm gonna get my cute petite body back! and then I patted his belly. No words needed.
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,443 Member
    Options
    Kick him in the taint. Problem solved.
  • athenaheim
    athenaheim Posts: 496 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry he never should have said that.
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
    Options
    My ex-husband used to call me a b!tch, tell me how awful I was...etc. After 10 years of that, I believed him.

    If you allow him to talk to you like that without addressing it with him, you will believe it in yourself. Speak to him about what he said, how you feel about it and how it has affected you.

    Don't allow him to talk to you that way again. This comes from over 12 years of trying to prove to myself that I am not a horrible person.

    Starving yourself is not a good thing to do. Standing up for yourself is

    This. I believed every bully in HS and now am a lot heavier than when I was in HS. I used to think I was horribly fat than and would kill for my HS weight now. He is being a bully. Get to marriage counseling. This is not one of those "we can compromise" behaviors. Either he stops or you leave. Abuse can be emotional not just physical.
  • eyesontheprize13
    eyesontheprize13 Posts: 30
    Options
    28 or 8?

    Calling someone names isn't acceptable, ever. Even in anger.

    Your husband sounds like he has some issues of his own. What he is doing is abusive & manipulative-and its working.

    The only advice I can suggest is to see a counselor/therapist-even if its on your own. You do not deserve that treatment.

    And if you'll notice, I haven't mentioned anything about weightloss. There's a reason for that. His comments have NOTHING to do with your weight, and everything to do with controlling you.

    Exactly this!
  • Justkritter
    Justkritter Posts: 143 Member
    Options
    That's awful. Work your way hard to show him that he's wrong. Don't let what he said get the better of you. And be sure after you fast to not binge since most of the time it happens after a fast. Be more attentive to your calorie needs and workout if you can.
  • _KATzMeow
    _KATzMeow Posts: 336 Member
    Options
    Just break up.

    yep ! there it is!
  • ChiefsChick4Life
    ChiefsChick4Life Posts: 51
    Options
    Did he really say "at zz", or did he say "*kitten*"?

    ha ha ha
  • RHSheetz
    RHSheetz Posts: 268 Member
    Options
    So, do you need help burrying the Body? It would be justified (LOL).
  • dianalee9
    dianalee9 Posts: 134 Member
    Options
    Your profile says that your husband tell you you're beautiful everyday; so it sounds like this is not something that has happened before. Sounds to me like you two need to sit down and talk about this incident so it doesn't happen again. Also, I noticed your profile says, "If it's important you'll find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse". That tells me that you do know how to work through this!!
  • Wwonderful
    Wwonderful Posts: 145
    Options
    F him!!!
  • NikkiSixGuns
    NikkiSixGuns Posts: 630 Member
    Options
    28 or 8?

    Calling someone names isn't acceptable, ever. Even in anger.

    Your husband sounds like he has some issues of his own. What he is doing is abusive & manipulative-and its working.

    The only advice I can suggest is to see a counselor/therapist-even if its on your own. You do not deserve that treatment.

    And if you'll notice, I haven't mentioned anything about weightloss. There's a reason for that. His comments have NOTHING to do with your weight, and everything to do with controlling you.


    I concur. Proving to him that you lose the weight or whatever has nothing to do with it. Fat or thin, he should be your biggest supporter and uplifter, not the opposite.

    Agree. It is NEVER ok to talk this way to your spouse. He needs to learn right now that his words are unacceptable. They're incredibly damaging to you and your relationship, and if you expect to have a quality marriage then you both (since you said you're no saint either) need to find another way to express anger. It sounds like neither of you understands the severity of the damage caused by actions like this.

    Your marriage should be your safe-haven from the crap that you get elsewhere in life. You two need to be a team and support each other.

    Also, a fast is probably not a good idea. You're going to get even more emotional and have more difficulty dealing with the situation. Eat well, get some exercise in. I find that exercise gives me a bit of a mood boost and helps put things in perspective.

    Best of luck to you both. I hope you can both work on it and make each other happy.
  • Aello11
    Aello11 Posts: 312 Member
    Options
    so he is still alive? you didn't kick his *kitten* ? I am sorry the people that love you lift you up - not treat you like *kitten*
  • Skinny_Jeans_Soon
    Skinny_Jeans_Soon Posts: 326 Member
    Options
    Mine did the same, he is now my ex-husband.
  • JingleMuffin
    JingleMuffin Posts: 543 Member
    Options
    Sounds like retaliation. do not matchh his childish behavior. Argue constuctivly and get things resolved. neither of you should name call, even in anger. practice, it helps. dont starve yourself. thats pointless.
  • thrld
    thrld Posts: 610 Member
    Options
    I shouldn't be airing my dirty laundry out for everyone to see however I am so hurt by this I don’t know how to handle it all. We got into an argument and it escalated fast where he told me to "waddle your fat @zz in the bedroom" and "You're so fat how can you see your feet?" and a few other hurtful things.:brokenheart: (I have gained 40lbs since him and I met.) I know he said this out of anger and we all say things that hurt, (I'm no saint) but it has completely changed me over night."


    THIS PROBLEM IS NOT ABOUT YOU. YOU CANNOT FIX THIS PROBLEM BY LOSING WEIGHT.

    This problem is about your husband, who feels like he doesn't have to show you love or respect. This problem is about your husband who verbally attacks you and says things in the most hurtful manner, and acts as if he has the right to do so because your appearance has changed.

    You deserve respect (at any size). You deserve to be treated with love (even if you've changed your appearance). You deserve to have your partner argue in a manner that is fair (not ambushing the arugment with hurtful personal comments).

    The problem isn't what do you eat or how to do you lose weight to prove him wrong-- he was wrong to begin with. The problem is -- if you speak to him about how unfair his comments were , how hurtful they were, and how belittling they were -- will he see that, will he realize that?

    Ask yourself -- "How much weight do I have to lose to deserve respect?"
  • cathiaflock
    cathiaflock Posts: 112 Member
    Options
    Let me explain, children are from a previous marriage and my "new" 4 month husband is with us now. I haven't updated my profile in a while.

    We all don't know your relationship at heart, like how long did you know each other before marrying- but 4 months you should still be in honeymoon stage. Talk to him about what he said hurt your feelings; UNLESS he has used hurtful words against you in the past. If you can't talk to him than something is definitely wrong. If you have a wonderful sex life than what he is saying is BS.

    Best Wishes!

    Cathi
  • padraigin67
    padraigin67 Posts: 78 Member
    Options
    My hubby and I have been married 26 years. In all that time we have gotten really mad, I left him for 3 months, and got back together. Never once in all that time have we resorted to name calling. That is something you cannot fix or take back. People like that are self-centered, childish, immature and will never love you and your children the way you deserve. I had a step-father like that and it was not a healthy environment. How would you feel if he called one of your children a name like that or worse? The verbal abuse is a precursor of physical abuse. I speak from experience and not a book. My suggestion is confront him on it immediately and if he tries to laugh it off or say your overreacting. Tell him to kick rocks and don't let the door hit him as he leaves!!!!!!

Categories