All or nothing mentality - need help being consistent

You don't want it badly enough.

I can relate. Try planning your treats and working them into your calories. I tend to think of my calories on a weekly rather than daily basis so that if I go over one day and under another, it all kind of evens out. I think if you plan it out and give yourself a certain amount you can have, you will be more likely to stick to that.

Yes. Its how I managed to get to 400 lbs.

It took me far too long to figure out that one slip up does not a failure make.

I hope you get good advice that clicks for you.

You don't want it badly enough.

Hate to say it but that's pretty much it - have your treats, log them and stick to your calorie count!!
Stop Making excuses to eat junk

Tough Love

I admit to getting a little complacent over the holidays. I have lost a good chunk of weight and like how I look so sometimes you think, "Oh...I can let go a little." But that only lasted till I moved back into the 170's and said NOOOOO!!!. NEVER GOING BACK!

I lost those 3 pounds and am only looking downward from now on.

The biggest misconception is: we get a cheat day..
fact is: we get a cheat meal!! not a total day of cheating..

I wrote this on another thread to someone else who felt very all-or-nothing...

If you have to go "all in", go all in to one goal each month. Set a modest weight loss goal... 1/2 lb weight loss per week. Trust me. In 6 months you'll be feeling awesome and can re-evaluate if you need. Then commit to meeting that goal daily... with whatever you want to eat. Take your weight, your bust/waist/hips measurements and a full length photo.

For the rest of January, meet your calorie target without exceeding it. Every day. I dare you.

In February, exercise at least 4 days a week for the entire month. That's 16 workouts. No problem.

In March, join a new activity you've never tried... martial arts, swimming, running, dance...

In April, look at what you're eating and add more protein until you're eating .8g/day for every lb you weigh.

In May, lift weights twice a week on top of your 4 days of cardio.

In June, aim for a minimum of 5 servings of fruits and veggies every day.

On June 30th, take some more measurements and another photo. Compare side-by-side...

You can do this...

Habits take time to break... and changes take time to become new habits. Give them time. You're human. You can't expect to suddenly begin living like an elite athlete if you aren't that person. Become that person... slowly. Over time.

It's good to have treats here and there.

If you are finding it too hard to resist or feel like you're depriving yourself, stop setting the bar too high and pre-plan them into your calorie count so that you can have them twice a week or however often you think is reasonable and doable, without going over your goals.

Also, you can alter your rules so that when you "cheat" you still have to make up for the calories within the same or next day by eating fewer calories or exercising more. By doing so, you will learn how to 'budget' your calories/appetite/exercise to balance the things you need with the things you like.

You don't want it badly enough.

Hate to say it but that's pretty much it - have your treats, log them and stick to your calorie count!!
Stop Making excuses to eat junk

Tough Love

:noway: This way of thinking really upsets me. Some people have no trouble saying no to junk foods and apparently I didn't inherit their "perfect gene" because I have a really hard time avoiding these foods as well. This has been proven to have virtually NOTHING to do with willpower! It has to do with our brain chemistry and we are hard-wired to go for three things: sugar, salt, and fat. While some people have less of an addictive nature and have little trouble avoiding these foods, many of us feel so out of control because we simply feel as if we fail over and over again. Having cravings and giving in to "trigger" foods will get better over time, and you can still lose weight while cheating every now and then. Don't get discouraged by the PERFECT people, and just keep trying. Every day is a new day! :flowerforyou:

Come on. If people can quit heroin they can sure quit other (non-adictive) things. I'm not saying never eat empty calories. Just realize what they are and you'll be less likely to give in completely.

This has been proven to have virtually NOTHING to do with willpower!

It has nothing to do with willpower, because willpower is a fairytale. When faced with a decision, people always do what they want every time. Learn how to control what you want and you will be able to get ahead of decisions so that when you get to that point, you are not making the choice based on immediate gratification.

For example in one experiment little kids were sat at a table and given one marshmallow and told if it's still there in 15 minutes they will get another one. The ones who stuck it out did so by keeping themselves from obsessing over the one in front of them. They didn't resist the impulse to eat it, they got themselves away from the situation that would cause them to make that impulsive decision, by focusing on something else.

Think about it like driving. If you make a driving mistake while driving home, you don't just stop driving correctly right? You re-focus on driving correctly. It's the same thing with diet & nutrition.

I can relate. Try planning your treats and working them into your calories. I tend to think of my calories on a weekly rather than daily basis so that if I go over one day and under another, it all kind of evens out. I think if you plan it out and give yourself a certain amount you can have, you will be more likely to stick to that.

^^^This works well for me.

YES, I totally relate.. I am a lot like that too. I am still having a hard time getting back on track.. It will happen just dont give up. Try to make little changes each day and pretty soon you will be right on track... I am just trying to cut back on sweets right now, that is my biggest downfall... I would love to have you as a friend. Good Luck

You don't want it badly enough.

Hate to say it but that's pretty much it - have your treats, log them and stick to your calorie count!!
Stop Making excuses to eat junk

Tough Love

:noway: This way of thinking really upsets me. Some people have no trouble saying no to junk foods and apparently I didn't inherit their "perfect gene" because I have a really hard time avoiding these foods as well. This has been proven to have virtually NOTHING to do with willpower! It has to do with our brain chemistry and we are hard-wired to go for three things: sugar, salt, and fat. While some people have less of an addictive nature and have little trouble avoiding these foods, many of us feel so out of control because we simply feel as if we fail over and over again. Having cravings and giving in to "trigger" foods will get better over time, and you can still lose weight while cheating every now and then. Don't get discouraged by the PERFECT people, and just keep trying. Every day is a new day! :flowerforyou:

I am FAR from perfect, but I also know what works and what doesn't and as long as she is still giving into cravings, it's not working. The cycle of self-pity and bad choices is going to continue. Sugar, salt and fat addictions are the same as any drug. Have you ever met a cocaine addict who could just use coke "every once in a while"? You have to PURGE your body of that garbage and when you stop craving it/wanting it all the time, THEN it might be appropriate to have it once in a while. But if you are that out of control with it, its a better idea to stop altogether until you can control it.

I read on here once that throwing out your whole day and binging because you made one mistake is a little like smashing your cell phone to bits with a sledgehammer because you dropped it on the ground. :flowerforyou: