All or nothing mentality - need help being consistent

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  • mogz36
    mogz36 Posts: 38 Member
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    Think about it like driving. If you make a driving mistake while driving home, you don't just stop driving correctly right? You re-focus on driving correctly. It's the same thing with diet & nutrition.
  • maricash
    maricash Posts: 280 Member
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    Losing my all or nothing way of thinking was one of the most important things that I did in regards to weight loss and exercise. I used to think, like you, that if I ate one cookie all was lost and I'd give up on what I was doing. Now, if I want a cookie, I eat a cookie. If I want 3 cookies, I eat 3 cookies. I either work them into my calories for the day, or I have them on one of my non-logging days.

    There are all kinds of super restrictive diets that will help you lose weight . . . and then gain it back as soon as you start eating normally again. Having treats is part of eating normally. Holiday dinners are part of eating normally. Birthday cake is part of eating normally. You can have a healthy diet that includes all of these things. Just remember that you are in it for life. Eating a few cookies won't hurt you in the long run, but giving up on your goals because you ate a few cookies will.
  • BeDawn
    BeDawn Posts: 56 Member
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    I can relate. Try planning your treats and working them into your calories. I tend to think of my calories on a weekly rather than daily basis so that if I go over one day and under another, it all kind of evens out. I think if you plan it out and give yourself a certain amount you can have, you will be more likely to stick to that.
    ^^^This works well for me.
  • jessjoye
    jessjoye Posts: 69 Member
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    I don't think there is anything wrong with "tasting" a favorite food everyonce in a while. There is nothing "bad" and nothing "good" about food. Food supplies us with the propper nutrients and if you want to taste something yummy, remember to truly taste the flavor, smell it, and savor it. You will enjoy it more and eat less and won't feel guilty. The guilt is what makes you overeat. (Like eating in the closet because if no one sees you eat it the calories don't count!)

    Enjoy food in moderation (Taste vs. gobble). You will be able to stick to eating healthy for your LIFE TIME which is what we all want, right? Enjoy your life with everything in moderation, it is the key to happiness :)
  • time2getfit5
    time2getfit5 Posts: 3
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    YES, I totally relate.. I am a lot like that too. I am still having a hard time getting back on track.. It will happen just dont give up. Try to make little changes each day and pretty soon you will be right on track... I am just trying to cut back on sweets right now, that is my biggest downfall... I would love to have you as a friend. Good Luck
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
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    I don't believe in planned cheat days because slipping up on my diet happens spontaneously from time to time. I try to put the slip-up behind me and get right back into my routine with the very next meal. Even if I have 900 calories mid-day, I will still have my usual approximately 400-calorie dinner (unless I'm just plain not hungry). It's not the slip-ups that will do you in, it's the "oh well, might as well have a cheat day". Stop doing that!
  • dangerxbadger
    dangerxbadger Posts: 396 Member
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    You don't want it badly enough.

    Hate to say it but that's pretty much it - have your treats, log them and stick to your calorie count!!
    Stop Making excuses to eat junk

    Tough Love :smile:

    :noway: This way of thinking really upsets me. Some people have no trouble saying no to junk foods and apparently I didn't inherit their "perfect gene" because I have a really hard time avoiding these foods as well. This has been proven to have virtually NOTHING to do with willpower! It has to do with our brain chemistry and we are hard-wired to go for three things: sugar, salt, and fat. While some people have less of an addictive nature and have little trouble avoiding these foods, many of us feel so out of control because we simply feel as if we fail over and over again. Having cravings and giving in to "trigger" foods will get better over time, and you can still lose weight while cheating every now and then. Don't get discouraged by the PERFECT people, and just keep trying. Every day is a new day! :flowerforyou:


    I am FAR from perfect, but I also know what works and what doesn't and as long as she is still giving into cravings, it's not working. The cycle of self-pity and bad choices is going to continue. Sugar, salt and fat addictions are the same as any drug. Have you ever met a cocaine addict who could just use coke "every once in a while"? You have to PURGE your body of that garbage and when you stop craving it/wanting it all the time, THEN it might be appropriate to have it once in a while. But if you are that out of control with it, its a better idea to stop altogether until you can control it.
  • gmallan
    gmallan Posts: 2,099 Member
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    This is all about making a mental shift in attitude. The all or nothing approach is not realistic. Life happends and you have to have strategies to deal with it when it does. You need to learn that it's okay to eat ANYTHING if you can control the portion size. Easier said then done sometimes though.

    Remember not only is every day a new day but so is every hour and every meal. If you slip up and eat a whole packet of biscuits/chips/chocolate when you intended to have one or two just take a moment to re-focus. Take note of how you feel afterwards. Realise you've slipped up and learn from it. Plan not to do it again. Remind yourself why you're doing this and then switch your focus to the rest of the day.

    One of the best pieces of advice I found on here is that if you stuff up with your diet, THE MOST IMPORTANT meal you'll eat in that day is the very next one. Focus on making the NEXT meal as healthy as possible. Don't wait until tomorrow to get back on track. You'll thank yourself tomorrow
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    I read on here once that throwing out your whole day and binging because you made one mistake is a little like smashing your cell phone to bits with a sledgehammer because you dropped it on the ground. :flowerforyou:
  • Project_Jodie
    Project_Jodie Posts: 171
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    Thanks for all the responses guys :) I am a work in progess to all the tough lovers out there, but I do appreciate those comments too. I DO need to want it more and I'm working on my downfalls.

    A very nice person took the time to write me quite a long email - his experience and words really resonated with me and I think I've just had my first AHA moment :) If he says its ok I'll put on here so everyone else can benefit from his wise words - well i thought they were wise some of the perfectionists out there might disagree but hey the info won't be for you!

    Thanks again for all the posts I'm feeling much more confident in making this a lifestyle change rather than just a diet.....
  • seabuckaroo
    seabuckaroo Posts: 85
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    I have this same problem. I find I need to get into a routine to channel my intensity.
  • lmelangley
    lmelangley Posts: 1,039 Member
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    I try to not be so restrictive. I can have anything I want, whenever I want it. But, unless it's a planned occasion like a birthday or barbecue or Christmas, I need to stay under my calorie goals each day. So, if I have a cookie at lunch, it means about 100 fewer calories I get for dinner time. I take the attitude that I need to think about each and every bite I take. If the cookie is worth it to me at the time, knowing the reprocussions for later in the day, so be it.
  • Skeebee
    Skeebee Posts: 740 Member
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    I can totally relate to you. Unfortunately for me, I have a mental issue that was working against me....I'm 100% or nothing at all. If I don't do the 1%, I didn't do anything at all. And, yes, some people are right; you don't want this bad enough. For me, it was the case and I knew it. But, even when I DID want it the most, I was hindered by my disorder. That made me have to work TWICE as hard to get to it.

    How did I do it? It wasn't easy, but I had to SLOOOWLY convince myself that 99% was ok....then 98%....ect....basically had to convince myself that nobody is perfect, I may slip up, but it's perfectly acceptable....baby steps. Once I did that with OTHER things in my life (I had that problem with cleaning the house...no lie...if I couldn't clean EVERY room in the house and finish EVERYTHING than I wouldn't do anything at all.....), then I finally applied it towards weight loss.

    Just make sure you really want this, find some reason inside yourself, and push yourself. If I can do it with the personal struggle I had, I'm sure you will be fine. :flowerforyou:
  • kiane50
    kiane50 Posts: 69 Member
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    I like that..tough love...if we loved ourselves more we wouldn't put the things in our bodies that we do.
  • Project_Jodie
    Project_Jodie Posts: 171
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    I read on here once that throwing out your whole day and binging because you made one mistake is a little like smashing your cell phone to bits with a sledgehammer because you dropped it on the ground. :flowerforyou:

    Haha love this!
  • cargilb
    cargilb Posts: 116
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    Thanks for all the responses guys :) I am a work in progess to all the tough lovers out there, but I do appreciate those comments too. I DO need to want it more and I'm working on my downfalls.

    A very nice person took the time to write me quite a long email - his experience and words really resonated with me and I think I've just had my first AHA moment :) If he says its ok I'll put on here so everyone else can benefit from his wise words - well i thought they were wise some of the perfectionists out there might disagree but hey the info won't be for you!

    Thanks again for all the posts I'm feeling much more confident in making this a lifestyle change rather than just a diet.....

    ok. don't give up. and we have tough love and gentle love for you here, so wallow in the one that suits you. whatever you do, be honest with yourself as to what is causing you set backs and address it over time. things don't always happen over night. its all a process. I failed for like 5 years before i started losing weight like bad habit. :grumble:

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