Hot topic for Wednesday: How would you feel if...

When my husband and I seperated I stupidly changed my relationship status to single and lo-and-behold....his ex stalked him for a week!!! Lesson learned

I would be bothered if it was people who knew me and him personally. But if it was on MFP where he was anonymous, I wouldn't be as pissed.

Your significant other was airing out grievences on your relationship on one of their social media sites/message boards/facebook?


Just curious what people would think.. with all the stuff posted on here...how they'd feel if the shoe was on the other foot.

Wow, that sounds like Festivus with the airing out of grievances! When does the "Feats of Strenght" happen? Lol.

My wife wouldn't do it and neither would I.

But....if she did, I would want to talk about it. Resolve any issues.

We're in this for life, so communication is tantamount to success.

My number one rule is that if my husband would be upset if he knew about it, I don't do it/say it. Venting online usually falls into that description.

Well I would probably post on my news feed where my friends chould see and give me perspective, because everyone needs someone to talk to. I would NEVER do it on facebook and I would not post about it on a frorum. I would expect the same kind of respect and if I found out they did it I would be hurt.

I hate when people cry all over their social networking sites about their personal life.

Exactly. That's what friends are for.

With me, I try not to say too much to my friends. The people closest in my life are protective of me and the BF and I have had some pretty major problems over the years. If I tell my friends or family too much, then it affects how they view him and that can put a whole separate strain on the relationship.

I don't know if I'm explaining that in a way that makes sense.

Anyway, I have NEVER talked to others before talking to him, but he can be very stubborn and doesn't always want to address the problem or even admit there is one, so I need to vent and I need outside opinions. It's easier to get them from strangers (which I take with a grain of salt since they are only hearing my side and don't know us) than from people who really know me and care about me.

I haven't put anything on this forum, but I've done it in other forums before. Not Facebook, though, because of the friends and family thing.

I agree that people get way too personal on social media sites. If there is a problem it should be between the two people that it concerns. If my SO did that i would for sure be ticked.

It varies. I wouldn't call someone out on bad behaviour in public, and I wouldn't expect someone to do that to me. But I do blog about my personal life. Sometimes that involves other people's personal business too, like when I talk about my dealings with an ex, or my huge love and respect for a friend with abusive parents, or the admiration I have for another friend who's dealing with bulimia and self-harm issues. (Obviously not admiration for him doing those things, but for the way he's managed to survive and (mostly) overcome them.)

I know that some people wouldn't want their problems mentioned anywhere, even if it's because I'm saying how much respect I have for the way they handle them. It's hard for me to understand this, because I have no barriers and it wouldn't bother me a bit if my friends talked publicly about my life and problems. I'm learning to filter things, but it's a slow process. With most friends, we have an agreement that if they say explicitly, "Don't talk about this to anyone," my mouth will be closed, but if they don't ask for silence, I may talk about it in passing to mom or my twin or anyone else.

Most people don't have a problem with it, because I generally don't use names when I write, or I use pseudonyms, and because mostly my friends don't know each other, aside from one writers group - and they share just about everything anyway. Also, I don't often have negative things to say about people.

Sorry, my whole response has been a bit OT.

As far as problems with a partner go - I have no problems with a boyfriend or girlfriend (I don't have either right now) talking to their friends, or an anonymous community. Well, as long as it isn't really malicious things they say, but if they were capable of that kind of spite I'd be gone anyway, regardless of whether they were talking about me or not. I'd prefer it not to be on Facebook, but I am generally of the school of thought that people need to talk about issues that trouble them. It's easy to say that it's okay to talk about your own problems but not other people's, but people aren't islands - sometimes someone else's problem affects you a lot too. And with the growing tendency to make trusted friends online, I don't think it's really practical to say talk to friends in person but not on the Internet.

Ehh. It's a hard call. Mostly I try to treat people the way I'd want to be treated, except for occasions when I know something bothers them that wouldn't bother me, and then I try to accede to their wishes. Most of the time it works, although mistakes do happen. Best I can do though.

I'd be upset.


Not only that, but - people - we don't want to read about it or hear about it. That stuff should be between the two of you.

I'm single but I would feel bad if ever I have one especially that I'm not the type who loves to earn sympathy from others by venting out every tiny detail of my relationship to everybody. Neither do I like reading these types of posts. I hate drama.

Depends on how serious the issue was. If it was something minor I wouldkn't care.. Personally I find it annoying when people cry on FB about their love life and what not..

If it upset me to the point that it ended the relationship I'd like to say I'm not petty but I might just be tempted to post in the topic/status update something like..

"Wow you really needed to ask people online about our relationship.. Let me save you the time.. You don't have one anymore."

I'd then punctuate it by unfriending them..

I would be mad if he was putting our biz out there especially if he wasn't talking to me and i i didn't know there was a prob he askin for a disagreement