How to get fit and loose weight without being an *kitten*.
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This is such a great topic! I know at some point, I have been on both ends of the spectrum and the receiving end can definitely get annoying. It seems like when people start a new healthy lifestyle and they are being successful at it, that's all they can talk about at certain times. Like you said in your post, the key is to know your audience. Not everybody needs to know, nor cares about your entire healthy lifestyle routine. People don't need to know what you ate, everytime you go to the gym or every detail of your workout that day. MFP is perfect for the ones that do want to know!0
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I think most friends/family want to be supportive - but you almost need to feed them the right opportunities - Just tell them when you reach your goal weight or target clothes size - they probably don't want to know each time you lost a couple of lb.
Having people who recognise the importance of the small victories you have along the way is important too. Celebrating the extra notch on your belt buckle, having to put your jeans on the hot cycle to shrink them down half a size, running your first km without stopping - these are great achievements... I just think that MFP is the right place to talk about them
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Said perfectly!0 -
In every work of genius we recognize our own rejected thoughts; they come back to us with a certain alienated majesty.
Ralph Waldo Emerson, "Self Reliance"
I recognize your genius!0 -
I try not to be a preachy *kitten*, but casually throwing in some positive ideas can pay dividends. I mentioned at work that I'd tracked down the local council pool and gym, and a colleague joined be for a swim the next day. Now she and others are looking at trying some of the classes! No-one's offered to join me on a lunchtime run from my shower-free office yet, though...0
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This makes me glad that my wife does this with me.0
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I have come to the realization that the people in my life who are not supportive of my new lifestyle, probbly don't need to be in it! Many don't get the "I can't go for dinner and drinks tonight, I'm going to the gym" but my husband and kids are supportive and doing everything they can to encourage me, so that is all that matters to me. In some cases, supportive friends are doing things to help me be successful. Such as letting me chose the restaurant when we do go out, or making sure there are healthier options available to me. THESE are the people that will be with me whether or not I am being an *kitten* in training. :huh:0
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I think that anyone who truly gets to losing weight or into a fitness regimine knows that it takes a complete focus. Therefore, it becomes all one talks about. Those that knew the old us can be disappointed in not being as much a part of our world. Some may also (deep-down inside) wish that they had the inner strength to do the same. I don't want to say that others are jealous. I would rather say that human nature is to critcize anything or anyone who is different rather than change or accept.0
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I think that anyone who truly gets to losing weight or into a fitness regimine knows that it takes a complete focus. Therefore, it becomes all one talks about. Those that knew the old us can be disappointed in not being as much a part of our world. Some may also (deep-down inside) wish that they had the inner strength to do the same. I don't want to say that others are jealous. I would rather say that human nature is to critcize anything or anyone who is different rather than change or accept.
well said!0 -
...during the process of losing weight and getting fit its quite easy to appear to become a bit pompous...
I agree! I think that people who have ost a lot of weight can be even more sanctimonious than people who have quit smoking! I've told my friends who know of my weight-loss journey/struggles that if I ever get that sanctimoniopus please just SMACK me!
Great suggestions!3) Sometimes people will say things like "I wish I could run". 9 times out of 10 they do not want you to give them a training plan! Or tips! Or an invite a training session etc... I now handle this by saying "If you are interested in learning, send me an email and I will point you at some good articles".
4) Same rules for "I wish I could loose weight"
5) When I am eating with other people, I just order what I want and eat it. Nobody cares. Its only when you start making a big deal over your diet choices that people get irritated.
6) Same for rule as 5 for drinking0 -
Cheers. I have found the hard way that attempting to share all of this with others IRL just tends to annoy them.0
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ok, I've just mentally flicked through my conversations and Facebook statuses of the past couple of years and I may be guilty of *kitten*-like behaviour...! I definitely got obsessive about long runs in the run up to my first (and possibly last) marathon, often to the detriment of my social life.
I'll certainly bear these tips in mind when training for half marathons this year!0 -
I don't talk exercise anymore on Facebook or with any of my family - even when they try to engage me in conversation ha
To be honest it's created a rift between myself and some family members because quite frankly they are just down right rude when I was getting close to my goal weight (long story, gained back weight...UGH)
If I'd avoid eating a 2nd helping or sweets the snide "oh she's on a diet" comments started
I avoid many functions now b/c I fear I'll be unable to bite my tongue and say something really awful back
I have my MFP friends I talk to and some of the ladies I've known for quite a while on here, I even text with back & forth.0 -
I've been quite concerned about appearing to be kind of obnoxious to people, lol.
I know when I get down to my goal weight, i'll probably want to show off my new bod. That might get annoying to people.0 -
A very helpful post which has just got me re-setting my Facebook notifications. Thanks for sharing these tips.0
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This is a major lifestyle change (well done). Our lifestyle is determined by our friends, family, community and environment (working, geographical, etc).
When making a lifestyle change your lifestyle has to change. Don't feel bad or pompus about it! That lifestyle your so keen to not upset is the one that got you where you are now.
Keep up the good work.0 -
First time I lost weight I was an *kitten*. I was so evangelical about it, talking to friends, family and strangers about healthy eating, calories and what exercises I did that day. Payback is a witch though, I put the weight back on
This time around I don't talk about my eating or exercise much at all, unless someone asks. If a social occasion comes up that I want to go to I suck it up and do my workout earlier or later to fit it in, and don't mention it. Food is harder. I just try to quietly eat what I know I can and politely say no to the rest. I try to factor treats in occasionally.
Some people find health, diet and fitness talk boring. Some think you're looking down on them for not being the same way, or some people feel guilty because they think they should make different choices too. I've found the easiest thing to do is just live the way you want to live and let them see the benefits - but don't bang on about it.
Good for you with the marathon training by the way!! I could talk about that all day
And...you're not an *kitten*.0 -
I think you're spot on with this too! I'm on here for support and I've not told my friends in real life as some are diet and fitness obsessives and I want to do this my way and at my own pace. One of my friends goes to WW, works in a gym, has a nutritionist and a PT & is now studying to qualify herself. She's been begging me to become her 'case study' but that's not going to happen. And I wont be posting anything on FB either as it annoys me when other people do. But this might change when people start noticing the difference in pics perhaps. I wish everyone could have your approach.0
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I've been quite concerned about appearing to be kind of obnoxious to people, lol.
I know when I get down to my goal weight, i'll probably want to show off my new bod. That might get annoying to people.
Maybe - but it's SO worth it lol! When I lost weight I went and bought clothes way too young and revealing for me...but loved every minute of it. I've settled down a bit now thank goodness!
Enjoy the bod - and show it off! You don't want to get to 80 and think "Why didn't I wear a bikini when I had the chance??".0 -
BUMP! Must read later.0
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Don't see the problem. This is the same whether you are doing a degree or buying a car or looking for a school place for your child or coding a game. Nobody apart from those in a similar situation will understand or give a **** beyond knowing things are going well or not for you. The only difference is that for some, it's simply their own guilt getting in the way of things. Some people whinge about others posting their gym visits on Facebook - I encourage my friends to post up their gym visits on Facebook! The whingers are just feeling guilty about their own laziness.
Oh, and if your friends don't like you talking about your passion(s), then what kind of friends are they?0 -
VERY early on, I had to tell my boyfriend, "The only way I know how to do this is to be completely crazy and obsessive." He's gotten used to me measuring food (I sometimes eat snacks out of measuring cups), taking notes at restaurants about the exact number of shrimp in my dinner, digging food packaging out of the trash so I can scan the bar code to enter the nutritional info, and hearing me say things like, "I need 92 more calories today." He's just going to have to live with it. He is actually very encouraging when I tell him I ran .2 miles more without stopping.
For others, though ... I will really try to remember your advice. I am sheepishly remembering the Great Potassium Challenge conversation I have imposed on several people lately.
I haven't put much at all on Facebook, except fun active things I've done (hiking mostly). I am waiting for the Big Reveal when I get to goal weight.0 -
Ditto to all your comments. When I started my weight loss, healthy eating and exercise, I sort of "lied" to people and told them I was on my "No More Hot Flashes" regimen. It works as I am 53!!! No more drinking every day, eating healthy, exercising. I don't want to go out and feel like crap the next day. At first, people were curious on if it was working. I just told them yes and I don't want to go back to not sleeping. The not sleeping was probably the drinking!!!! Now that I am at my goal, it is harder to stay disciplined but... I go back to the same old "excuse". I then tell people that I feel sooooo good eating like this, I will not go back to my old ways.
I know it is sort of a fib but... it works for me.0 -
great tips those and I know people that take this to extreme, seen it, don't want to be like that. I lost a good bit and let it creep back, this time I have this help mfp and you all for inspiration. thanks0
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I remember a period of time when I had multiple exercise updates on FB each day. My friends teased me about it, but when I told them I was trying to have a log with a form of time-stamp that I could show my boss instead of a paper log that I could put together in 5 minutes, they understood. Plus, they knew I was still recovering from the effects of cancer and the treatments, so they also understood that being that active and making progress was a big deal to me.
Now, I usually don't post about my exercise unless there's something remarkable, such as a new personal best or something interesting I saw on my run.
But the understanding is definitely a two way street. We need to understand that fitness and exercise isn't a big deal for everyone we know, so we should be careful about going overboard and gushing about it. They need to understand that fitness and exercise can be a very big deal for us, so they should expect we might get excited about the subject. It also might help for them to understand we may have other friends who are equally excited, so we may have facebook friends genuinely interested in hearing about our progress in our status updates.0
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