My wife is upset with me

Women store more fat than men. It's just the way our bodies are built. This makes it harder for women to lose weight/fat than men when exercising. But, I would not say this to her!

If you're doing this together, maybe you should suggest not focusing on the scale but focusing on how you feel. The scale isn't always a good indication of your results. She could be gaining muscle while losing fat so the number hasn't shifted.

Ask her how she feels doing this and if she is getting results other ways than getting a smaller number on the scale. Are her pants looser, etc...

Assuming she weighs less than you, she should not be eating the same amount of calories as you. If y'all are eating the same breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I would guess that is the problem. Hormones also play a role, but calories are going to be the biggest issue.

I'm sure it is frustrating to see someone seemingly doing the same things you are and having more success than you are having, but that's why you can't compare yourself to other people while trying to lose weight, especially if you are a woman comparing yourself to a man. It doesn't work like that. Successful weight-loss takes time, patience, and consistency (in the kitchen and in the gym).

She may want to try to cut her calories a little more than yours. Also watch portion sizes. Its a proven fact that men lose weight easier than women...she may need to just work at it a little harder. Not fair, but it is what it is... :huh:

Totally agree with this statement.

However, Klutz, one thing to absolutely NOT do is keep reminding her of your losses and/or give her advice on what she should or shouldn't be doing! Unfortunately that will come across as slightly "preachy" under the circumstances.
You could suggest that she join a weight loss forum so that she can get her own advice and air her feelings as well... stress can make weight loss become very slow.

It may take her a little longer to start shedding the pounds, it took me a good 2-3 months before I really saw a difference on the scale, I actually saw it in the way my clothes fit first.

It took me a YEAR to lose 30 (while becoming a "runner for the first time in my life). I watched what I ate. Used MFP fairly consistently. Did strength training. But it took a YEAR!

Last January, my hubby decided to lose a little weight. Took him 4 months to lose 30 lbs. He trimmed back on his food intake. Used MFP for about 2 months. And occasionally went for a 2 or 3 mile walk after work.

Yeah, I would get ticked with him. But, it is what it is. I knew I was doing all I could. I ate calorie deficits and the results were what they were.

Hopefully, she'll recognize that her journey will be different than yours.

2 suggestions: Don't refer to her as "round" or make any other comment on her being overweight. She knows it. She doesn't need your jesting (no matter how light hearted) to be a reminder. AND, tell her you love her, and you love her no matter what a scale says. Reassure her that you are proud of her efforts and hopefully the positive comments will help her feel better.

my 2 cents

Just break up.

Men always lose faster and easier than women. More muscle, fewer hormones to deal with. As a woman, I am frustrated by that fact (well, envious), but why is she angry with you? It's not like you're slipping her extra calories when she's unconscious, right?

She's being unreasonable, but I don't have any advice because telling her that will just make her angrier.

She needs to wear a HRM when exercising
She needs to make sure she's measuring her food
She should have her own user name on here to track her daily intake and expenditure

On average my huband burns 1.75 times more calories in a workout then I do just because he's taller and weighs more, on average I want to eat 1.75 times more calories during a meal than he does because I eat so I have to keep it in check. I cannot do the same work he does (even with more effort) and eat the same amount of food that he does (no matter how much I want to) and get the same results as he does.

What's good for the goose is not always what's good for the gander. Men typically have faster metabolisms and lose weight more quickly. Men have more muscle which burns fat more efficiently. She's not going to like it but this one is on her, she can't do the same as you and get results...thems the breaks :grumble:

Good venting. Just keep it up and remind her to just keep it up.

Just break up.

Okay, aside from the above clown...

I'm soooo happy that I'm on this site when I read things like this Kudos to you both for trying to lose, and double kudos to you for dealing with her! Def try not to be preachy, but yes a woman's body is completely different. So food intake, calorie intake and exercize should all be different and custom to her.

Have her join MPF.

And ROCK ON for being so supportive!!! Not many guys would.

You could eat a pizza in front of her to show her you're working toward equality.

The same exact thing, but not the attitude, happened to me and my husband a couple of years ago. We both started the 30 day shred. He lost almost 20 lbs in one month. I gained 4! Ate the same foods, etc. He is naturally well built for muscle gain. I'm not. Even thought I did shed inches during that month, it was still discouraging to see the scale tip in the opposite direction. About a year later, I began a new fitness routine which immediately helped me begin to shed weight. I did Zumba 5-6 hours a week. I lost 7 lbs in the first month with limited food watching. I realized then that I probably wasn't approaching fitness correctly. I needed some good cardio first to loose the weight. I did that for about 6 months and plateaued after loosing 14 lbs. (My goal was 20) Then I began incorporating strength training by adding Zumba Toning 3 times a week, and in a couple of weeks people suddenly began asking me what I was doing to lose weight. But the scale had not budged for me at all. Clothes, on the other hand, were no longer fitting me well and sagging. At that point I stopped my obsession with the scale.
Basically, the point I'm making is that your wife needs to focus on the goal in terms of how she looks and feels in her clothing rather than competing with you on the scale. It's impossible for men and women to compete in weight and counterproductive. Have her try different cardio exercises, find the ones she likes and stick to them. If you're making a commitment to fitness, it shouldn't be about some magical number, it should be about the overall goal of getting healthy, happy and fit. Once I stopped looking at that number, it revolutionized my thinking when it came my fitness. Hope this helps.

I was whining to my hubby about the same thing. The last 2 weeks we have been doing the exact same things only I have been eating less calories than he has. I have lost a big 0 and he has lost like 8 pounds and I was saying I cannot believe I have not lost even 1 pound so he told me to measure.. I have lost 3 inches in my hips, an inch off of each thigh, and inch off each arm and 2 inches on my chest. So Tell her to measure!!!

Rachel

Just try and be supportive. It is so hard for women to lose weight especially when guys are dropping pounds like nobody's business. Good luck.