My wife is upset with me

She's probably eating more than she's telling you, she realises or is recording.

A deficit is a deficit. Doesn't matter if it is a man or a woman. Men and women can follow the exact same programmes.

I'm going to agree with this.

You aren't with her all the time. You don't stay the same weight with a calorie deficit when you have a lot to lose.

Truth: I lost weight faster than my husband, and I had a lot less to lose than he did. I got to goal weight a good year ahead of him. He was eating more than he thought, and I was not. It was that simple. When he was ready to get serious and shed the weight, he did. Again, it was that simple.

Of course we don't eat the same calories a day, not even close. We don't even eat the same foods on most days (yesterday was a painful, gluttonous exception). I did my thing and he did his.

She has to really want this and really be honest with what she's eating, weigh and measure absolutely everything, and she will lose. She's probably reading this and I don't mean to be that harsh, just really trying to give good advice.

I understand her pain (my hubby loses waaay faster than me), but truth be told, women & men lose weight differently. Men can handle more carbs than women. She needs to probably just make a few changes. She should join some women only groups on mfp. Its great you both are doing this together, but you each also need individual plans. Good luck to you both!

I don't understand why some responses to questions are "Just break up."

So rude and unnecessary.

Anyway, you should try to educate your wife with literature on how men and woman are different, carry weight different, and even have her look as muscle to fat ratios and compositions. If she educates herself, it won't be a huge surprise. My fiance and I have been getting in shape, and he's doing a lot better than I but I know why so it does't bother me. She needs to up her exercise, even if it's walking.

She will get mad if you approach her in a "holier than thou" way, so you might ask her to sit down and have a serious talk so that she feels respected. It sounds silly but you should approach this carefully because you don't want to offend her.

Lawyer up, hit the gym, delete facebook.

Thanks everyone. She is a member of MFP.

First off, she weighs more than I do

ETA: She is going through menopause so I guess that that could have a lot to do with it too.

Thanks again

Dude! your wife can read this? and you tell us she weighs more than you, AND you tell us she's going through menopause????
Are you TRYING to get divorced? or murdered?

So she will read this sometime later and you'll be more in the dog house then you were earlier this morning

Everyone is right, just be supportive and stop reminding her of her weight. That's the worst thing you can say to a female. She will loose weight, sometimes it takes others longer. It's all about learning your bodys needs and what will allow you to loose weight. You both can't do the samething.

"she is very moody and is chewing my back side because I'm losing and she isn't. "

---

maybe that's where she's getting extra calories.

Bwahahaha!!

Tell her to check her inches!!!

> get her a HRM. its easier to monitor calories burned. maybe you both have different fitness levels and are not burning the same amount of calories for the same exercises.
> try a new workout routine with her. one that will work for her (goes in hand with the above)
> definitely make sure you are both getting the right portions you each need individually.
> be suppportive and point out the difference in her body you have noticed (eg. tone legs or butt, etc)

ETA: She is going through menopause so I guess that that could have a lot to do with it too.

Ok, so that s/h been your lead in!! Menopause does crazy things to women--she may have to get through that and then really focus on weight loss. I'm not saying she shouldn't start making positive changes, but maybe worry less about the loss and more about healthy decisions...

Oh and she is going through menopause, so you are going to get your backside chewed off for EVERYTHING!!

My father, who is 25 years older than me, has lost 10 pounds compared to the three that I've lost and I've been working out WAY more than he has and eating just as well.

It just shows how men and women lose weight differently.

Definitely get her to measure her inches!

Have her come chat with some ladies here! Honestly we all are going through our weightloss in different ways and we might be able to help her find a way that works for her rather than her getting upset in general at her lack of weight loss. You can tactfully bring it up to her and tell her about the site and the reasons why you are here and that she might find an answer to her question about why what works for you isn't working for her.

Best of luck!

My husband and I are both limiting calories and I generally eat about half what he does. He's a lot bigger than I am so our calorie needs are different. I think though that it would be better if she came across this information on her own. You telling her that she needs to cut calories more than you do is probably not going to help with the whole her-being-angry-with-you thing.

Honestly, if it were me I would not want diet tips from you. I would want and need support and affirmation that my husband loves me as I am and that if I lost weight, great, but that the effort of being healthy is a bigger turn on. Even if it's a total BS lie, it is nice to hear... ---- good luck

.... what we eat is usually 300-400 below our daily.

Perhaps she isn't eating *enough* to fuel her body?

Thanks everyone. She is a member of MFP.

First off, she weighs more than I do

ETA: She is going through menopause so I guess that that could have a lot to do with it too.

Thanks again

Dude! your wife can read this? and you tell us she weighs more than you, AND you tell us she's going through menopause????
Are you TRYING to get divorced? or murdered?

So she will read this sometime later and you'll be more in the dog house then you were earlier this morning

Everyone is right, just be supportive and stop reminding her of her weight. That's the worst thing you can say to a female. She will loose weight, sometimes it takes others longer. It's all about learning your bodys needs and what will allow you to loose weight. You both can't do the samething.

It's not a competition. You need to support each other no matter who's losing faster or slower. If she's like me, she needs to know you love her as she is. She needs to hear and see and feel it.

My bf and I are both working on eating better together. We each do our own thing, but are both on MFP. He never reads the forums...not even my blog posts. It's not his thing. He records his food. I'm more OCD about recording than he is. I work out. He doesn't (yet). I've lost twice as much as he has. I get crazy hormonal with PMS and suspect I'm starting menopause. We are not at each other's throats. I've logged in to MFP every day since we started using it. He's missed a lot of days. He's jealous, but uses that to brag to others (like my family at Christmas) about how diligent I am. He is my biggest cheerleader and I'm his. He's also trying to quit smoking. He's cut down by half. I'm not a smoker, so I'm working on 1 thing. I like more healthy foods than he does. I know I'm crazy fortunate to have such wonderfully supportive guy in my life!