My wife is upset with me

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  • harribeau2012
    harribeau2012 Posts: 644 Member
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    "she is very moody and is chewing my back side because I'm losing and she isn't. "

    maybe that's where she's getting extra calories.
  • mandisu
    mandisu Posts: 57 Member
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    "she is very moody and is chewing my back side because I'm losing and she isn't. "

    maybe that's where she's getting extra calories.

    Bwahahaha!!
  • slboling
    slboling Posts: 117 Member
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    My fellow male, take the chewing and support her. And she's right..it's not fair. But it's true that guys lose easier. You my friend must be the support. Do not look to her to praise you near as much as you must back her. And what I mean is to be honest with your praise to her. Let her know that you are aware that things will happen different, that you love her, and that growing old together and healthy is the greatest thing that you could ever imagine. By the way, sleep with one eye open. Good luck.
  • nolachick
    nolachick Posts: 3,278 Member
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    Tell her to check her inches!!!

    > get her a HRM. its easier to monitor calories burned. maybe you both have different fitness levels and are not burning the same amount of calories for the same exercises.
    > try a new workout routine with her. one that will work for her (goes in hand with the above)
    > definitely make sure you are both getting the right portions you each need individually.
    > be suppportive and point out the difference in her body you have noticed (eg. tone legs or butt, etc)
  • 3foldchord
    3foldchord Posts: 2,918 Member
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    She may want to try to cut her calories a little more than yours. Also watch portion sizes. Its a proven fact that men lose weight easier than women...she may need to just work at it a little harder. Not fare, but it is what it is... :huh:
    ^^ this. ^^
  • Jimaudit
    Jimaudit Posts: 275
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    ETA: She is going through menopause so I guess that that could have a lot to do with it too.

    Ok, so that s/h been your lead in!! Menopause does crazy things to women--she may have to get through that and then really focus on weight loss. I'm not saying she shouldn't start making positive changes, but maybe worry less about the loss and more about healthy decisions...

    Oh and she is going through menopause, so you are going to get your backside chewed off for EVERYTHING!!
  • MeMyCatsandI
    MeMyCatsandI Posts: 704 Member
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    Its a proven fact that men lose weight easier than women...
    I'm not sure that's a PROVEN fact. However, I highly doubt you'd ever find a woman who would disagree with you! :wink:
  • aprilmonkey
    aprilmonkey Posts: 12
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    My father, who is 25 years older than me, has lost 10 pounds compared to the three that I've lost and I've been working out WAY more than he has and eating just as well.

    It just shows how men and women lose weight differently.

    Definitely get her to measure her inches!
  • Mistyblu08
    Mistyblu08 Posts: 580 Member
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    get her lifting wts- muscle burns fat fast and we women dont have much unless we are lifting....less cals for her but not below 1200 especially if she takes to wts.....stay away from bread-processed flours-sugars-diet pops.....good luck to you both:)
  • MightyDomo
    MightyDomo Posts: 1,265 Member
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    Have her come chat with some ladies here! Honestly we all are going through our weightloss in different ways and we might be able to help her find a way that works for her rather than her getting upset in general at her lack of weight loss. You can tactfully bring it up to her and tell her about the site and the reasons why you are here and that she might find an answer to her question about why what works for you isn't working for her.

    Best of luck!
  • stacibuk
    stacibuk Posts: 276 Member
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    Does she eat the same portion size as you? Because, that could be a reason
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
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    My husband and I are both limiting calories and I generally eat about half what he does. He's a lot bigger than I am so our calorie needs are different. I think though that it would be better if she came across this information on her own. You telling her that she needs to cut calories more than you do is probably not going to help with the whole her-being-angry-with-you thing. :)
  • fmebear
    fmebear Posts: 172 Member
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    She needs to see a doctor. She could have hypothyroidism which would make it more difficult for her to lose.

    Has she had a physical lately? I have hypothyroidism and it does make losing weight more difficult. I am aware of what needs to happen but it took me awhile to get diagnosed. Before I was diagnosed, I had gained over 30 lbs. Once I was diagnosed and on the medications, I began losing weight with the proper nutrition and working out. It took me awhile but I did it. Maybe having assistance from her doctor's your wife can begin to lose weight.

    Just keep encouraging her! As another post indicated, do not brag about how much you have lost either.
  • I_see_skinny_Me
    I_see_skinny_Me Posts: 37
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    Honestly, if it were me I would not want diet tips from you. I would want and need support and affirmation that my husband loves me as I am and that if I lost weight, great, but that the effort of being healthy is a bigger turn on. Even if it's a total BS lie, it is nice to hear... ---- good luck
  • Valera0466
    Valera0466 Posts: 319 Member
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    Just break up.


    This is getting really old!
  • tikafly
    tikafly Posts: 184 Member
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    .... what we eat is usually 300-400 below our daily.

    Perhaps she isn't eating *enough* to fuel her body?
  • ndwyer0910
    ndwyer0910 Posts: 86 Member
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    Assuming she weighs less than you, she should not be eating the same amount of calories as you. If y'all are eating the same breakfast, lunch, and dinner, I would guess that is the problem. Hormones also play a role, but calories are going to be the biggest issue.

    I'm sure it is frustrating to see someone seemingly doing the same things you are and having more success than you are having, but that's why you can't compare yourself to other people while trying to lose weight, especially if you are a woman comparing yourself to a man. It doesn't work like that. Successful weight-loss takes time, patience, and consistency (in the kitchen and in the gym).


    ^^^ this exactly. You two should not be eating the same amount of calories. I doubt you two have the same jobs as well. Maybe yours is more physical or you do more walking. If you are feeling good then keep eating the calories you are eating. She should reevaluate her situation. With her weight and her daily activities. Not exercise though that should be adjusted daily.
  • CarlieeBear
    CarlieeBear Posts: 325 Member
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    Thanks everyone. She is a member of MFP.

    First off, she weighs more than I do

    ETA: She is going through menopause so I guess that that could have a lot to do with it too.

    Thanks again

    Dude! your wife can read this? and you tell us she weighs more than you, AND you tell us she's going through menopause????
    Are you TRYING to get divorced? or murdered?

    So she will read this sometime later and you'll be more in the dog house then you were earlier this morning

    Everyone is right, just be supportive and stop reminding her of her weight. That's the worst thing you can say to a female. She will loose weight, sometimes it takes others longer. It's all about learning your bodys needs and what will allow you to loose weight. You both can't do the samething.

    It's not a competition. You need to support each other no matter who's losing faster or slower. If she's like me, she needs to know you love her as she is. She needs to hear and see and feel it.

    My bf and I are both working on eating better together. We each do our own thing, but are both on MFP. He never reads the forums...not even my blog posts. It's not his thing. He records his food. I'm more OCD about recording than he is. I work out. He doesn't (yet). I've lost twice as much as he has. I get crazy hormonal with PMS and suspect I'm starting menopause. We are not at each other's throats. I've logged in to MFP every day since we started using it. He's missed a lot of days. He's jealous, but uses that to brag to others (like my family at Christmas) about how diligent I am. He is my biggest cheerleader and I'm his. He's also trying to quit smoking. He's cut down by half. I'm not a smoker, so I'm working on 1 thing. I like more healthy foods than he does. I know I'm crazy fortunate to have such wonderfully supportive guy in my life!
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
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    She needs to work harder in the gym.

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