My step kids won't eat anything nutritious!

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Replies

  • iamkarent
    iamkarent Posts: 144 Member
    I also am a believer in not making a kid clean a plate...and definitely not rewarded with a treat only when doing so...

    I feel this just sets the child up for food issues later. I do however require them to take a few bites of vegetables I know they will eat before they can be done, even if they did a good job on the main dish.

    My 4 and 5 year olds are testing the manners on the seeing dinner and making negative comments....it is a direct sentence of sitting on your bed to think about your behavior.....I will not allow disrespect like that...and it is already less frequent.

    I think it is normal for kids to hit that stage, especially when they hear it a lot from the other kids at school meals..
  • 52in13
    52in13 Posts: 38 Member
    You are in for a long hard road!

    When I met my step-daughter, she was 3 years old and would only eat carbs (mashed potatoes and french fries, buiscuits and rolls). She might have eaten the occassional applesauce, but that is it! I am soooo not exaggerating.

    She had her father convinced she had a touchy gag reflex and would throw up when he tried to force her to eat something she "didn't like."

    Enter me, stubborn as all get out and determined to be a good parent (my child is 4 years older).

    She tried to make herself throw up when I forced her to eat a hot dog and I promised her that I would make her eat another, if she did.

    We spent many a meal time and many a night fighting with her and eachother over her lack of "gusto" at the table. It took well over a year, and lots of spankings (since my hubby wouldn't let her go to be hungry) but she gradually started eating, but almost 4 years later and I still have to force her to eat her meat first, her veggies next, and carbs last. (She usually doesn't last long enough to eat the carbs because she either runs out of time or room in her "eat like a bird" belly.) And, you know what, she enjoys hot dogs and many other foods that she wouldn't touch before. She even takes pride when she tries something and likes it.

    (Oh, and she is restricted from snacks and deserts unless she finished the previous meal.)

    I do not envy you your battle, but you can overcome it.
  • liittlesparrow
    liittlesparrow Posts: 209 Member
    Simple. I'd tell them "Eat dinner now, or eat breakfast tomorrow. Your choice." Keep all good food in your house so even if they try to sneak food, they'll still have to sneak good food. (fruit etc).
  • Alisha_countrymama
    Alisha_countrymama Posts: 821 Member
    Don't even have the bad stuff in the house as an option. Put the food on their plates if they don't eat, they get up from the table and that is it. There isn't anything else. If they get hungry later tell them you have saved their plate of food for dinner. That is how it works wtih my son. Things are getting better.
  • BCSMama
    BCSMama Posts: 348
    I didn't read all of the responses, but I agree that you just should stop making it an issue. The reality is, it is most likely a power struggle and since you can't literally force them to eat, they will win. At our house, we have family meals and you can either choose to eat or not eat, however, you must sit with the family during mealtime. Dessert may be offered if they have eaten healthy food first, but it is not used to bribe them to eat or as a reward for eating. If they choose not to eat, it's perfectly fine with me. If they are hungry later, they can have their skipped meal reheated or wait until the next meal (I won't withhold food later as a punishment for not eating during mealtime).

    The only time we've had an issue is when my ds at around age 8 started not eating dinner and then getting up just after bed time and sneaking protein bars or snack type foods. It did get to where we started putting a video monitor on him to make sure he stopped doing this at night. After he learned that sneaking food at night wasn't going to fly, it's been better. But he's got some behavioral issues related to this kind of thing that we're working on.

    The issue of them not hiding their disgust is a problem too in my opinion. At our house, if you don't like something, you simply say "thank you, but this doesn't suit my palate". I know it sounds weird, but I don't want my kids saying "that's gross" or something like that. We encourage them to try new foods and they almost always do, but never force the issue, because again, I don't want to get into a power struggle with my kids over food.

    Anyway, I think you have the right idea of just making mealtime a relaxing and enjoyable time where they will see you guys enjoying your food. More than likely, if there is no pressure to eat, they will go ahead and eat.
  • kdiamond
    kdiamond Posts: 3,329 Member
    Agreed with the comments others posted about not making them finish their plate or making an issue out of food. Believe me, when kids are hungry they will eat. The more you give in the harder it will be. Just be firm with it, this is what I am cooking and eat it or don't.
  • asmithstl
    asmithstl Posts: 50
    You think you have it bad? My kid just turned down a trip to McDonald's! She said McDonald's was unhealthy! She's 5, is that too late to leave her in a basket at the police station?

    This is awesome! My son would rather an apple to a candy bar any day!

    I just posted it on another Board, but check out the cook book deceptively delicious - it takes foods kids normally likes and offers recipies to make them healthier meal without tasting or looking different.
  • BaileyP3
    BaileyP3 Posts: 151 Member
    What works for someone else doesn't always work for your family. I have a blended family and there are many issues to overcome and I have learned to pick my battles. Food is not one of them. You just need to decide if it is worth it. In my own experience, I have come to realize that kids just do not have much of palette until they start getting older. Given I have several kids in the house, we have a range of eating habits. One is vegetarian, one will only eat peanut butter or chicken nuggets etc. So I just go with it and have more important household issues to tackle.

    My husband and I have this look now when one of the kids eats something new. Since we have taken the laid back approach they have become less combative at meal time.

    Good Luck!

    ^^^^This! My steps were 3 and 2 when I became part their lives and mom and her team dictated all new food introductions. For over a year all they wanted was white bread, cheez whiz, broccoli and orange juice (and their bottles) We would try teddy grahams, chicken, jello and they wouldn't touch it. During the next visit, seems mom had tried new foods and we needed to re-stock the kitchen. As quoted...pick your battles particularly if they're with you part-time. Best to establish a strong loving foundation than have a food fight each visit.

    And best of luck!!
  • BaileyP3
    BaileyP3 Posts: 151 Member
    I believe the saying is "CPS requires that you provide food and nourishment. It doesnt say that they have to eat it."

    I agree with the - if you keep making a big deal about it, it will only get worse. Not to mention there could be other divorce/mom/dad/step mom issues going on.

    Eventually they will be old enough to decide whether or not to see you and your husband. I wouldnt want to push them away.

    Yup....hence picking one's battles.
  • purrmeow
    purrmeow Posts: 10 Member
    My grandson (age 4) is like this. He often loudly declares "I HATE FOOD!" I've tried just ignoring the food and beverage issue, and that was a bad plan. He ended up in the hospital because he got so dehydrated at my house. He wouldn't accept a single thing I offered him all weekend! I feel like I'm constantly coaxing him to accept something. Some days are better than others. I've found that if I keep at him, I can get a few bites and sips down him.

    He's much the same with his mom at home; it's not just my house.

    Have you taken him to the doctor? Maybe there's something else that's making him not want to eat. If he didn't eat all weekend and had to go to the hospital, I think there's something wrong with him since most would have eaten by then.
  • mrykyldy2
    mrykyldy2 Posts: 96 Member
    You know, I have to agree with many that have already posted. They eat what is made or they go hungry. They get hungry, they will eat. My son did not want to eat one evening, so I wrapped up his dinner and told him that it would be there for breakfast. The next day I warmed it up for him when he got up, he didn't want to eat it. I promptly told him that it was ok he could go to school with no breakfast and that I would bring the bowl to him at lunch time during school and feed it to him like he was a baby during school hours in front of all his friends. When he saw I was serious, he promptly ate his dinner at breakfast time before going to school. Although because you are a blended family, your husband has to be on board with what you are doing, otherwise it will not work.
  • padfoot3179
    padfoot3179 Posts: 14 Member
    I've hidden most of the junk food and stated the new plan to them tonight. "if you don't want to eat fine but don't bug me for a snack in an hour." We are setting structured meal times, 8 for breakfast 12:30 for lunch and 5 for dinner. If they don't want to eat I'm not fighting with them. The younger one has an iron will and I think most of you that said it was a power struggle were correct. She definitely doesn't hide it when she is not happy with something you've told her to do. I will try to get the husband to enforce these rules as well, he thinks I'm overreacting but he doesn't cook or purchase the food they waste!
  • jha1223
    jha1223 Posts: 141 Member
    I've hidden most of the junk food and stated the new plan to them tonight. "if you don't want to eat fine but don't bug me for a snack in an hour." We are setting structured meal times, 8 for breakfast 12:30 for lunch and 5 for dinner. If they don't want to eat I'm not fighting with them. The younger one has an iron will and I think most of you that said it was a power struggle were correct. She definitely doesn't hide it when she is not happy with something you've told her to do. I will try to get the husband to enforce these rules as well, he thinks I'm overreacting but he doesn't cook or purchase the food they waste!

    Excellent! Be strong. It is for the best for ALL of you.
  • lornaloo3
    lornaloo3 Posts: 102
    You think you have it bad? My kid just turned down a trip to McDonald's! She said McDonald's was unhealthy! She's 5, is that too late to leave her in a basket at the police station?

    lol that's adorable. You have a cute kid.

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