HELP... there is this guy at the gym

He sounds like an *kitten*... LOL!! Its hard, because I too would totally be down because of that...But after a few times I think I'd say something!!! Because you're their working on yourself. thats what Gyms are for. and if he has an issue with overweight people he probably shouldnt leave his house! Cheer up dear. You're doing great.

There is only one person that matters at the gym. The only person who can make you feel bad, and make you feel good. That person determines how long you workout for, what you workout, and how hard you workout. That person is YOU. You are all that matters, not some ignorant low-life, rather than discouraging you for past mistakes, he should be accepting and encouraging you for coming through the door and taking that first step to improving yourself. Look for the courage on the inside and hold on to that. If thats hard, you can always mentally bad mouth him, plan on how you are going to reject him when you come in with your new body and how he tries to hit on you.

I was thinking he was harassing you, but if he's the one walking away, don't feel bad or sorry or low about yourself - he's the one with the problem - not you! Seriously, I mean it's not like you're the first 100 lb overweight person in a gym in Oregon, and you've got a goal, a plan and a destination to reach so what some guy does shouldn't matter.

Here's what you know, you've got 100 lbs of fat to lose, a healthy diet and good exercise is proven to cause weight-loss. If you take this seriously you'll probably be rid of much (maybe all) of that weight in 1 year. 1 year isn't much, seriously, what did you do last year, that could've been the year you lost the 100 lbs, or it could've been the year before last. Allow this year to be THAT year and keep focussed.

Also, don't think of yourself as some deterrant or social leper. I've met charismatic, confident, and quite frankly magnetic women who were obese and they were beautiful people that I wanted to be around. Seriously confidence and self-respect influences appearance soo much so regardless of your height or your weight you need to love yourself.

Lastly, think differently of that guy - make up excuses for him, perhaps he's got mental problems and can't hold a steady job, maybe he's got some kind of strict religious upbringing where he feels uncomfortable to be next to woman. I mean play around with it in your head and don't make it personal. You, existing, going to the gym, you being who you are is not an insult or an act of oppression on anyone else so it obviously cannot be you that's giving him problems, so don't think it is...(I mean you don't know what's going on that guy's head, maybe he's head-over-heels in love with you and too shy to show it, I'm serious-there's no need to put negative thoughts about yourself into other people's heads).

Now if he's harassing you or preventing you from doing something, that's another story...

Good Luck!

If I were at the same gym as you, I'd come with you and tell him off. Or we could surround him!!! Haha!

:drinker:

There is only one person that matters at the gym. The only person who can make you feel bad, and make you feel good. That person determines how long you workout for, what you workout, and how hard you workout. That person is YOU. You are all that matters, not some ignorant low-life, rather than discouraging you for past mistakes, he should be accepting and encouraging you for coming through the door and taking that first step to improving yourself. Look for the courage on the inside and hold on to that. If thats hard, you can always mentally bad mouth him, plan on how you are going to reject him when you come in with your new body and how he tries to hit on you.

Ok, I soooo like this response aliensheep!! I think I'll tuck it inside my own head for those tough days I need that extra push for things in life:glasses:

Becca:flowerforyou:

Thanks, people tell me I have a knack for encouraging words.

People like that are definitely hard to deal with, I'm sorry he's making you feel bad As much as we don't want things like that to affect us, they do anyway. Just keep your head up and remember that he's shallow, and therefore his life is most likely shallow too. You on the other hand, have kids and a body that you care about so much that you would join a gym to keep it healthy, even though it makes you feel uncomfortable. 100 lbs from now you can strut into that gym and show that disgusting man what you're made of

I used to manage a gym (a long time ago) and my experience is that a lot of people who come in either very early in the morning or late at night do so in order to avoid those people who they think have "got it together" .

They tend to do this because they have some of their own personal issues, either with self confidence, such as yourself, or other things that makes them feel uncomfortable training in front of others.

Now, this guy may just be a jerk in which case I would agree with a lot of what has already been said about him, but he may also have issues which prompts him to train later in the day, they may not be solely focused on you and he could react this way with everyone at the gym...I don't know because I haven't observed his behaviour, but it may be that your own low self esteem has focused on his actions, perceiving them to be directed at you...it might be directed at everybody.

I'm not sure if you've already tried to engage this chap in conversation, but if you haven't possibly try a cheery "Hi, how'ya doing this evening", if he blanks you, then that's his loss, but if he responds positively that's a big bonus for both of you.

Focus on you, you're the one that matters and you're the one that's going to be fabulous at the end of the journey...but if you ever feel intimidated by anyone at the gym please speak to an instructor, ask them to run you through an exercise and whilst you are doing this explain your fears...this will give you focus, take your mind away from the problem and any instructor worth his or her salt will give you the guidance and encouragement you need to carry on without the fear.

All gyms try to encourage a safe and welcoming environment in order to retain you as a customer and should always deal swiftly with anyone who makes others feel unwelcome.

Unfortunately all Gyms will have people who are idiots, mainly blokes, but mercifully they are few.

I understand that it's difficult not to take his behavior personally, but the issue is his, not yours. Just keep on going to the gym and doing your workouts WITH PRIDE! You are doing what you need to do to take care of you. Sadly, there will always be jerks in this world, we all just have to learn to not take them seriously.


Hopefully, as you continue living a healthy lifestyle, your self esteem will rise. Tell yourself everyday that you are doing the right things to take care of you!

Keep up the good work!

Remember this, "What goes around, Comes around". When you reach your goal, if he changes his tune about being around you, be sure to remind him of the way he made you feel. In the end, one way or another, he'll get what is coming to him for being the way he is. BamBam

i think you need to give him the benefit of the doubt if you can. i have a sister-in-law that can't stand to work out next to someone. ever. if someone hops on the treadmill next to her, she will get off. if there is not a machine that is 'free' on both sides, she will wait. it has nothing to do with them and everything to do with her. it is very probable that ithas nothing to do with you either.