Need opinions...my friend and I are debating...

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AwesomeMoJo
AwesomeMoJo Posts: 1,145 Member
in Chit-Chat
if it is possible to fall in love within 5 days....

She had "Matt" visit her for 5 days and he went back home to his home state....he says that he is in love with her. They have known each other for 20 years, went to high school together, his brother and her sister are friends etc...but they hadn't spent any quality time together until his recent visit.

Mtt flew down with the feeling that she is "the one" for him. She had a feeling abput him too..and thinks she is in love with him. But I wonder if it is just the excitement of this new person and feelings that make you feel like you are in love...those endorphins that kick in and make you feel it? How do they know that 6 months from now they would feel the same?

Keep in mind he is willing to have his job transfer him to her location, move away from his kids (one of whom is going away to college in a few months anyway) the other is 16....

I understand they do know each other, even know quirks about each other, that my annoy otger people....but is it possible???

I want to believe it is... my gut tells me it isn't. I just dont want her to get hurt...
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Replies

  • wolverine66
    wolverine66 Posts: 3,780 Member
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    sure it's possible. there are people who were married within a week and together for ages.

    that doesn't necessarily mean that it's the case here. but she'll find that out on her own soon enough,
  • KickassAugust
    KickassAugust Posts: 1,430 Member
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    In and out!!!!
  • tomwetsel
    tomwetsel Posts: 7
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    It is possible and it is possible to be fooled for five days. Is it the true person you are seeing?
  • HappyNinjaStar
    HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
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    very possible. Me and my husband were in a similar situation, as was my husband's uncle and his girlfriend. I've been with my husband for 6 very happy years, and we both knew on the first date that that was it, we were getting married and having kids. Sure some of the excitement is endorphins, but the truth is, when you know, you know.
  • LetsMakeupXtina
    LetsMakeupXtina Posts: 627 Member
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    totally possible IMO.
  • Shamrock_me
    Shamrock_me Posts: 161
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    No..

    And I always make it a rule but never trust a man who will easily abandon his children (at any age). He sure as heck won't stick with you if he won't stick with them. Responsibility is a big part of relationships & commitments. Love is the stupid talking before you actually get to know the person you're with. Real love is when all the 'beginning' fake stuff is washed away and you still have those feelings.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
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    Sure, totally plausible. I would have to say I was pretty crazy over Hubs within a week of knowing him. And I'm sure it's even more intense when you already have history with the person.

    However, the leaving his kids thing...that raises some red flags for me. Almost grown or not, I wouldn't want to be the one that took their Dad away, especially if we were going to have a future together. IMHO it's really not cool when men (and I'm sure some women too) abandon their "first" family to start a new one.
  • snoopytwins
    snoopytwins Posts: 1,759 Member
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    Mtt flew down with the feeling that she is "the one" for him. She had a feeling abput him too..and thinks she is in love with him. But I wonder if it is just the excitement of this new person and feelings that make you feel like you are in love...those endorphins that kick in and make you feel it? How do they know that 6 months from now they would feel the same?

    What period of time knowing someone would always ensure this 6 months, a year, 10 years, etc., down the line? I think possible. Maybe not probable, but could be plausible.
  • AwesomeMoJo
    AwesomeMoJo Posts: 1,145 Member
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    No..

    And I always make it a rule but never trust a man who will easily abandon his children (at any age). He sure as heck won't stick with you if he won't stick with them. Responsibility is a big part of relationships & commitments. Love is the stupid talking before you actually get to know the person you're with. Real love is when all the 'beginning' fake stuff is washed away and you still have those feelings.

    I should clarify the part about abandoning his kids....they will have the option of moving down with him OR staying with their mom. He is a great father. (I know "Matt" as well)...his girls get everything they need, he spends more time with them than most fathers do, they go hunting together, takes them shopping, supports their dreams and goals....

    She has talked to the girls as well. They want there father to be happy. His oldest is moving to NY after graduation to attend FIT. THe younger of the 2 seems very excited to possibly have a "Florida" home...lol...

    She is welcoming with them and also knows his ex-wife. I think that may make it more comfortable for all of them...but he is NOT abandoning his children.

    Right now they live with their mother....but they are old enough to choose.
  • EdwarddeVere
    EdwarddeVere Posts: 178
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    No..

    And I always make it a rule but never trust a man who will easily abandon his children (at any age). He sure as heck won't stick with you if he won't stick with them. Responsibility is a big part of relationships & commitments. Love is the stupid talking before you actually get to know the person you're with. Real love is when all the 'beginning' fake stuff is washed away and you still have those feelings.

    I should clarify the part about abandoning his kids....they will have the option of moving down with him OR staying with their mom. He is a great father. (I know "Matt" as well)...his girls get everything they need, he spends more time with them than most fathers do, they go hunting together, takes them shopping, supports their dreams and goals....

    Right now they live with their mother....but they are old enough to choose.


    You know 'Matt' as well huh?

    Hmmmm... O:-)
  • EdwarddeVere
    EdwarddeVere Posts: 178
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    If he falls in love after five days how quickly can he fall out of love with her and fall into love with another? Why is he divorced in the first place? Is this a pattern?
  • Linli_Anne
    Linli_Anne Posts: 1,360 Member
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    Sometimes people really are kindred spirits.

    I met my husband online. We talked on the phone for about a week before finally setting up a meeting in real life. He took me out on a date, the following week-end he invited me to a party and we never looked back.

    For me, it was the first time we cuddled on the couch to watch a movie, he put his arm around me and I snuggled down and wrapped my arm around his waist - we just, fit.

    We have been together for 13 years, and will have been married for 10 this year. He agreed with me, that there was something there when we first met.
  • bugaha1
    bugaha1 Posts: 602 Member
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    No..

    And I always make it a rule but never trust a man who will easily abandon his children (at any age). He sure as heck won't stick with you if he won't stick with them. Responsibility is a big part of relationships & commitments. Love is the stupid talking before you actually get to know the person you're with. Real love is when all the 'beginning' fake stuff is washed away and you still have those feelings.

    No wonder we’re friends =)

    This sounds like infatuation and with kids involved I have to say NO! I have two groan kids who thankfully live in my town and I’d never move away from them.
  • EdwarddeVere
    EdwarddeVere Posts: 178
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    Plus, the leaving the children bothers me a bit as well. I know they are old enough to decide, but its the point of making them choose. Putting them into the situation of choosing.

    "Okay kids, either come uproot yourself from home and live in a new state where you have to make new friends and live with someone you don't know...or stay home with your mother."

    Thinking on it, he knows the answer will be no and the separation would be fine for him.

    I would not be able to make that decision without knowing its going to work with more time.
  • mlclarke22
    mlclarke22 Posts: 551 Member
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    I definitely feel that it is possible to fall in love in such a short amount of time..especially since they "knew" eachother before hand. Plus if they were in contact via email/phone etc. before the visit then love can definitely blossom from that~!
  • MuslimFitnessInstructor
    MuslimFitnessInstructor Posts: 119
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    yep totally possible,

    I met my husband on a wednesday and that friday we were married. no joke 3 days we knew each other, this weekend is our 10 yr annivsary and we have 3 boys together.
  • EdwarddeVere
    EdwarddeVere Posts: 178
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    This really irks me now. How do the children feel about this? Why did things not work out with the ex wife?

    I need answers!
  • SDHudgins1976
    SDHudgins1976 Posts: 140
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    Yes, it's possible.

    My husband and I dated 8 months TO THE DAY before we got married. We will celebrate our 18th anniversary in July.
    We met each other maybe a month before we started dating. I know mine isn't quite as "quick"... guess just an example you don't have to know each other forever. We started dating in November (29th) and were talking about marriage by December (6th or so) ... it just took until July to actually pull off the wedding! ha!
  • Tennolina
    Tennolina Posts: 2,413
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    No..

    And I always make it a rule but never trust a man who will easily abandon his children (at any age). He sure as heck won't stick with you if he won't stick with them. Responsibility is a big part of relationships & commitments. Love is the stupid talking before you actually get to know the person you're with. Real love is when all the 'beginning' fake stuff is washed away and you still have those feelings.

    This.
  • bbgughj
    bbgughj Posts: 219 Member
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    Sure they can , Love has no limits

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