People Afraid To Mention Your Weight Loss?
littlewhittles
Posts: 402 Member
in Chit-Chat
I've had a lot of people ask if I've lost weight, and congratulate me. However, I've had two people who seemed hesitant to mention it. A fellow derby skater was part of a conversation I was having about it, and she said, "I didn't want to mention it, but I've noticed." And my friend's mother last night said, "I didn't want to say anything, but you look thinner," when I said I was trying to eat healthier.
Why don't they want to say anything? Do they think it will insult me, insinuating I was fat before? It doesn't bother me, it was just a weird behavior I've noticed.
Anyone else have this happen?
Why don't they want to say anything? Do they think it will insult me, insinuating I was fat before? It doesn't bother me, it was just a weird behavior I've noticed.
Anyone else have this happen?
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Replies
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Hahaha YEP!!!!!! My family has done the same with me, and friends have as well. It's annoying because sometimes you want to be like "I LOST 27 POUNDS AND YOU ARE TELLING ME YOU CAN'T TELL????" but that would be crazy...right? hahah
One of my sisters told me on my birthday, after another one commented on how great I looked, said to me "you did NOT lose that much weight Rachael" and I was taken aback...because I have gone from a size 12/13 to a 9/8 in 5 months, that is pretty significant if you ask me. BUT maybe she just sees me too often to notice that drastic of a lose? Either way, people are weird. I always congratulate my friends on their weight loss, maybe it's just because I know the struggle and time and effort that goes into it? Either way, CONGRATS LADY!0 -
Hahaha YEP!!!!!! My family has done the same with me, and friends have as well. It's annoying because sometimes you want to be like "I LOST 27 POUNDS AND YOU ARE TELLING ME YOU CAN'T TELL????" but that would be crazy...right? hahah
One of my sisters told me on my birthday, after another one commented on how great I looked, said to me "you did NOT lose that much weight Rachael" and I was taken aback...because I have gone from a size 12/13 to a 9/8 in 5 months, that is pretty significant if you ask me. BUT maybe she just sees me too often to notice that drastic of a lose? Either way, people are weird. I always congratulate my friends on their weight loss, maybe it's just because I know the struggle and time and effort that goes into it? Either way, CONGRATS LADY!
That's weird that she said that. Although when I tell people how much I've lost and that I still have more to lose, they seem shocked. Maybe they just didn't realize how overweight I was? And I think it is harder for people who see you every day - no one I see regularly notices.0 -
for women nobody talks about that because they don't want to be wrong (also never ask when a lady carrying a newborn is "due").
Men, it's just kind of because we don't comment about that stuff to each other.0 -
for women nobody talks about that because they don't want to be wrong (also never ask when a lady carrying a newborn is "due").
Men, it's just kind of because we don't comment about that stuff to each other.
Hey...you're looking thinner...have you lost weight?0 -
Yeah, I've had people ask me "are you okay? you've lost alot of weight".
It's nice because of their concern0 -
for women nobody talks about that because they don't want to be wrong (also never ask when a lady carrying a newborn is "due").
Men, it's just kind of because we don't comment about that stuff to each other.
Hey...you're looking thinner...have you lost weight?
no, I'm bulking...do I really look smaller? dang...gonna have to do another cycle.0 -
for women nobody talks about that because they don't want to be wrong (also never ask when a lady carrying a newborn is "due").
Men, it's just kind of because we don't comment about that stuff to each other.
Hey...you're looking thinner...have you lost weight?
no, I'm bulking...do I really look smaller? dang...gonna have to do another cycle.
Eat more...just sayin'0 -
Yeah, a lot of people are scared to mention weight because they don't want to insult you or think that they think you are fat, so they avoid the topic. Don't think nothing of it.0
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I said to my boss this morning: I've lost 1.2 lbs this week thats 1/4 of what I put on at christmas so a good start
and she said she thought I was becoming a bit obssessed with weight loss, is it a bad thing to want to eat healthy exercise regularly and lose weight gained over the holidays ? :S0 -
I have had the people tell me that I look like I have lost weight and then wonder if it was because of sort of issueI was having like being sick. I now beat them to that question. When they ask if I have lost weight I tell them " Yes,with a lot of hard work, I have!" This seems to be more of a problem for people in their 50's or 60's though where cancer and other problems start to be more prevelant.0
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Yeah, I work at a fairly big company and might go several weeks or a month without seeing different people...and I've noticed a few people kind of stare a bit too long, in a way I THINK they've noticed, but they don't say anything. So really it just kind of comes off as a bit weird/creepy. A couple people have said something.
I think people are so careful with anything involving a woman's weight though. Where I used to work, there was a lady probably in her 50's who lost a ton of weight, maybe 80 or 100 lbs...and apparently people were saying things and congratulating her/telling her how great she looked. Well, apparently that was NOT the right response, because shortly thereafter everyone got instructed they were NOT to say anything to Sue about her weight loss, as she didn't like it. O...kay. Stories like that are probably why people are hesitant to comment.0 -
You're surprised? There's 10 threads here a day where people talk about getting offended by people who notice their weight loss. "I look great now? So you're saying I was a hot mess before? HMPH!"
I would never comment on someone's loss uninvited after reading all of that drama. Unless it was a guy, of course.0 -
i actually have to make a concerted effort not to let it affect me if people mention it. it's like a switch goes off in my head that says if they can tell, i don't need to try so hard. the longer i can go without people saying anything, the better i do - i think i'm weird...0
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I'm finding it strange as well. Then when I went out on a limb and asked my brother if he even noticed because he hadn't commented, he said 'no'.
Only a brother could get away with that. :P When I wear more fitted clothes I get more comments. 0 -
Some people are scared to say something because everyone is different and there are a lot of overly sensitive people....example: i told a friend of mine, oh wow it looks like your loosing weight good for you! they replied, oh THANKS now i look good? ....soooo everyone is different, i personally love it when someone tell me it looks like im shedding pounds but not everyone is the same0
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It is rude to comment on someone's weight, unless you know that they have been trying to lose weight.
They don't know whether you have been trying to lose weight, or have lost weight as a result of some private illness or grief.
(And yes, it does mean they noticed you were fat before and will notice and if you gain weight again).0 -
I had a neighbour, who had not seen me in over a year, spot me one day and not recognize me.
I stopped and said hello to her and you could see the confusion and then the dawning realization show on her face as she finally recognized me.
Then she blurted out "oh my god you've have lost so much weight!"
then immediately after saying that I could see her face blanch, and she obviously instantly was regretting her words.. and the next thing she said was a stumble of apology and whispered concern... basically asking was i ok? had I meant to lose weight? was I ok? Had I been ill?
She was so obviously worried she might have just somehow inadvertently hurt me by reminding me about something bad that might have happened to me, causing me to lose weight... that I suddenly 'got it'... suddenly realized why some people never said a word about my obvious weight loss.
They did not want to risk hurting me/embarass themselves by being hurtful. I had truly never even considered that before.
Yes, i quickly reassured her i was purposely eating better and getting more active so had lost the weight and felt wonderful.
She was so relieved. *LOL* The she would not stop talking about how amazing I looked, to the degree she never even recognized me at first.
i have to say.. i loved her whole reaction 0 -
I'd also add that someone recently said something to me about it, mentioning that another someone had noticed and told them I was losing weight. She then congratulated me, etc. Her reaction was perfectly fine. But, that other someone (the person who told her) has never said anything directly to me. Also, he's a guy. Find that a bit weird/odd/rude. If you're not going to say anything to me, don't talk about it with other people...?0
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I'm finding it strange as well. Then when I went out on a limb and asked my brother if he even noticed because he hadn't commented, he said 'no'. Only a brother could get away with that. :P When I wear more fitted clothes I get more comments.
i can beat that...
my HUSBAND said he could not see any difference... until one day while grocery shopping... he passed by the end of the aisle i was in, twice, while looking for me... (i never noticed him as i was busy reading labels *L*)
finally, i heard him laughing, walking up the aisle towards me, saying 'ok, that's bad.. i guess you have lost weight, i did not even recognize you... twice!"
Best compliment from him ever *LOL*0 -
I accept hearing "you've lost weight" and even "you've gained weight" across the board. Why? Because I KNOW the truth. I know when I've lost and when I've put on. It's kinda hard to cover up. Maybe that's because I'm not someone to wear loose clothing.
What's annoying to me is the question. It's kinda like, if you drop 30 pounds and people ask you, "Have you lost weight?" it's like, wtf, DUH! I feel like I'd better respond to someone saying "Wow, you lost weight!"0 -
If you want people to mention it, print out your ticker, cut it out and pin/tape it to your shirt. :happy: (Or have a custom "I lost weight" type button or mfp ticker t-shirt custom made from cafepress.)0
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Hahahahaha0
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Girl, I have FIVE older sisters 16-6 years older than me, they are very very catty...that's why I didn't really say much to her about her comment, but it did hurt my feelings. I agree though, people that you see you more often don't notice as much. My boss mentioned the other day that I lost a bunch of weight, it always feels good to be noticed
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yes, had the same problem. Dont get it. I had a client stare at me for a long time until she finally said " did you do something different?" haha. I said no, I just lost 25 lbs. She then congratulated me.0
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I'm finding it strange as well. Then when I went out on a limb and asked my brother if he even noticed because he hadn't commented, he said 'no'. Only a brother could get away with that. :P When I wear more fitted clothes I get more comments.
i can beat that...
my HUSBAND said he could not see any difference... until one day while grocery shopping... he passed by the end of the aisle i was in, twice, while looking for me... (i never noticed him as i was busy reading labels *L*)
finally, i heard him laughing, walking up the aisle towards me, saying 'ok, that's bad.. i guess you have lost weight, i did not even recognize you... twice!"
Best compliment from him ever *LOL*
Love this!!! Congrats on your weightloss!!0 -
Everyone I know. They know its a waste of time to talk to me about it because I personally don't care thinking of the past.0
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When I told my mother that I was ready to start eating healthy and excercising routinely again she told me that she noticed that I was gaining weight. Then proceeds to say that she was disappointed because she knew how hard I had worked to get the weight off, which I had..Well, I was pissed!! Because she said the first time she noticed was at my brothers wedding....2 years and 100 lbs ago!! Why didn't she say something then?!?!? I asked her and she didn't want to "hurt my feelings". . But if I was walking around with a huge thing growing off my face I guarantee she would have said something. Sometimes those that love you need to speak up. Not a stranger of course, which I agree is rude and inappropriate. If I had seen myself through her eyes 2 years ago it may have made a difference. Obesity is a disease, and if I had cancer my family would be involved, why not with my weight issues..Just my opinion.0
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I said to my boss this morning: I've lost 1.2 lbs this week thats 1/4 of what I put on at christmas so a good start
and she said she thought I was becoming a bit obssessed with weight loss, is it a bad thing to want to eat healthy exercise regularly and lose weight gained over the holidays ? :S
Nope! Not at all. Maybe she thought you were obsessed because you talk to her specifically a lot about it lol It may also be a personal thing, maybe she doesn't care at all about losing weight. It could also be jealousy....0 -
When I told my mother that I was ready to start eating healthy and excercising routinely again she told me that she noticed that I was gaining weight. Then proceeds to say that she was disappointed because she knew how hard I had worked to get the weight off, which I had..Well, I was pissed!! Because she said the first time she noticed was at my brothers wedding....2 years and 100 lbs ago!! Why didn't she say something then?!?!? I asked her and she didn't want to "hurt my feelings". . But if I was walking around with a huge thing growing off my face I guarantee she would have said something. Sometimes those that love you need to speak up. Not a stranger of course, which I agree is rude and inappropriate. If I had seen myself through her eyes 2 years ago it may have made a difference. Obesity is a disease, and if I had cancer my family would be involved, why not with my weight issues..Just my opinion.
Totally agreed. Western society has made weight something to be embarassed about, so naturally kind humans don't want to discuss it with someone they think is overweight because they don't want to hurt their feelings. Of course, the truth is that weight SHOULD be discussed especially if you love someone and want the best for them.0 -
No.is it a bad thing to want to eat healthy exercise regularly and lose weight gained over the holidays ? :S
Saying, "my weight loss stalled over the holidays as would be expected but now I'm back on track" is one thing. But saying you lost 1 pound and 3.2 ounces is IMO obsessive. Especially if you did it by counting fractions of calories eaten, and running 1 mile and 14 feet.I said to my boss this morning: I've lost 1.2 lbs this week thats 1/4 of what I put on at christmas so a good start
and she said she thought I was becoming a bit obssessed with weight loss,
Since your goal also contains a fraction of a pound, I hope you know that when you reach your goal there is no way, no matter what you do, that your weight is going to stay within even a few pounds at all times. It's going to fluctuate up and down by several pounds. If you're attaching your 'success' or value as a person to being able to maintain your weight within a few ounces, you're in for some very unhappy times. (Just FYI. If you already know that and just like numbers then nevermind.) 0
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